Things about your co-workers that annoy you
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BreezyBrew
IPA is my spirit animal
Convo with a client of ours:
Me: Sent meeting invite for 10 AM
Them: Accepted invite
Them this morning: I won't be able to make our meeting, have a dentist appt, won't be in until 10.
Me: No problem. Would 11 work?
Them: "I think so"
Beernik
Well-Known Member
You see the train wreck coming.
Me: Hey, this is a bad idea. We should do this instead.
Boss: This is fine.
Me: This is going to be a train wreck.
Boss: We will do some cartwheels and backflips to avoid the train wreck.
Me: Don't you think we should do something to stop this train wreck? It's still coming.
Boss: Stop arguing with me about this. I know better.
*crash*
Boss: Why did this train wreck happen?
Me: Honestly?
Me: Hey, this is a bad idea. We should do this instead.
Boss: This is fine.
Me: This is going to be a train wreck.
Boss: We will do some cartwheels and backflips to avoid the train wreck.
Me: Don't you think we should do something to stop this train wreck? It's still coming.
Boss: Stop arguing with me about this. I know better.
*crash*
Boss: Why did this train wreck happen?
Me: Honestly?
Beernik
Well-Known Member
I swear he thinks if he asks me the same question five times he will eventually get a different answer.
Sometimes he does. It's "Make a ****ing decision!"
Sometimes he does. It's "Make a ****ing decision!"
When I get that, I start giving answers to questions that weren't asked.
"Pluto"
"George Washington Carver"
"May flies"
Co-worker comes asking me for help. I have more years of experience than he has on earth.
Co-worker: Can you help me with X?
Me: Sure.. It looks like...
Co-worker: It's A, isn't it?
Me: No, I think it's...
Co-worker: I'm pretty sure it's A.
Me: It can't be A, let me tell you wh...
Co-worker: It has to be A.
Me: (rolls eyes)
Co-worker: You're not being very helpful.
Me. (Defenestrates co-worker)
Co-worker: Can you help me with X?
Me: Sure.. It looks like...
Co-worker: It's A, isn't it?
Me: No, I think it's...
Co-worker: I'm pretty sure it's A.
Me: It can't be A, let me tell you wh...
Co-worker: It has to be A.
Me: (rolls eyes)
Co-worker: You're not being very helpful.
Me. (Defenestrates co-worker)
n240sxguy
Well-Known Member
Gotta love the fun coworkers. I'm on the other side of your coin. A guy on my shift started working at the plant the year before I was born. When I had been there six months, he was asking me questions. He's a freakin pro if he's not the one running the job. If he's running it, you'd think he hadn't been there more than a month.
Taiin
Active Member
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2015
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General cattiness. I work in healthcare. There are lots of women. Too many in too small an area leads to conflict. If there isn't, there should be a mathmatical calculation that works out the value of the maximum number of women in a certain number of square footage. I can already tell you that the locker room and nurse's station is too small!
One of the guys on my fire department went from working on the maintenance crew at an ethanol plant, to the maintenance director at the local hospital. Toughest part of the transition has been dealing with the fact that his work environment is now 97% women.
Now you listen here. I've been doing this a long time. A long time. How long have you been there?
All day.
All day.
hunter_le five
Sheriff Underscore
The answer is 1 per X sq ft. Insert the number square feet total in your place of work (don't forget to include the parking lot or any adjacent buildings!) for X. It doesn't matter what X is, the answer is always 1 at any X value. The graph is just a flat line.
I've learned this from personal experience.
when they forget their user name and password over the weekend after 20 years
Hey. This login thing isn't working.
first initial last name and pass how much easier can it be?
Do I have to use capital letters? Numbers? Symbols? Can I use @ and "? Can I use ?? And speaking of ", you put my login in "", but when I type that, it doesn't work. Does it have to be the first letter capital? How many letters, because my name is my password, and it doesn't have a lot of letters.
It always amuses me when I realize that someone actually felt the need to come up with a word for this. Then I realize that it is a good word. Needs to be used more often. The Verb needs to be done more often as well.
Have a lady here that calls up 5-6 times a day because she cant remember hers and needs it reset. We have begun reminding her that she reset it and put it in the safe/her purse/tattooed it to the back of her hand but she still forgets. I have been here for nearing 5 years and this all started this past year.
n240sxguy
Well-Known Member
How bout asking for the number for the control room on the other side of the plant, that they've had to call at least a couple times a week for over 20 years.
Hamaki
Well-Known Member
I have maybe half a dozen different username/passwords at work and I try to do the same thing with each but they seem to have different rules for the password and several of them force you to change every 90 days. It's not like I work for some secretive agency so really makes no sense to me. I think I finally have a password that fits all criteria - GoF*ckYourself!01. Except there is a "u" instead of a "*". When I have to update the end digit advances to 02 & so on. Some programs of them I use only rarely so I have to try several past iterations of my password. Kind of gratifying, in a way.
Some password programs won't let you use a password if it shares "x" number of concurrent letters with your previous password. Like, if your current password is iLikeBeer#1, it wouldn't accept Beer1$Go0d for a new password, because they both have "Beer" in them.
Change your password every 5 days. Can't use the same password in the next 50 passwords. Must be 800 characters. Must use 14 different special characters, a 3:7 ratio of uppercase and lower case, include 4 spaces and two underscores, and every numeric digit at least twice.
But its your fault if you forget it.
And I don't do anything sensitive whatsoever...
But its your fault if you forget it.
And I don't do anything sensitive whatsoever...
ColoHox
Compulsive Hand Washer
I just leave a sticky note on my work monitor with my password on it. :rockin:
Ditto.
however that is only to sign on my computer.
I have atleast 7 passwords, for 10 different web applications and programs.
And they all have to be changed at different times.
1977Brewer
Free Dan Hess.
Our passwords expire every 90 days. I never log off because my PC is the camera server, so every 90 days my e-mail stops working on my phone and I have to have IT change my password. It's fun. I've had to have them change it from the beach before.
masking tape on the underside of the keyboard
ColoHox
Compulsive Hand Washer
That would work, but my approach is more of a passive aggressive protest against the password policy.
Taiin
Active Member
- Joined
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Your formula is brilliant. Any number of women greater than X will always lead to conflict!
Not sure who did it, but there is craft herpes in my locker at work now.
Has she remembered her password for the past few years and in the past year is having trouble remembering? Because if so, she definitely needs a health evaluation. Though it is hard to find a tactful way to say "hey, your memory is crap lately, go to the doctor!" I have occasionally snuck a mini mental health exam into conversation with my father (he did catch on the last time, hah!), since Alzheimers has occurred in the family. Perfect score each time, but still.
"Call so and so and tell them blah blah blah."
"Have so and so call me."
"Can you transfer me to so and so?"
How about you use the same phone or ptt you just used to call me, which they also have, and go fuq yourself?
Yep.
Your formula is brilliant. Any number of women greater than X will always lead to conflict!
Not sure who did it, but there is craft herpes in my locker at work now.
Has she remembered her password for the past few years and in the past year is having trouble remembering? Because if so, she definitely needs a health evaluation. Though it is hard to find a tactful way to say "hey, your memory is crap lately, go to the doctor!" I have occasionally snuck a mini mental health exam into conversation with my father (he did catch on the last time, hah!), since Alzheimers has occurred in the family. Perfect score each time, but still.
How is it, working at a strip club?
Your formula is brilliant. Any number of women greater than X will always lead to conflict!
Not sure who did it, but there is craft herpes in my locker at work now.
Has she remembered her password for the past few years and in the past year is having trouble remembering? Because if so, she definitely needs a health evaluation. Though it is hard to find a tactful way to say "hey, your memory is crap lately, go to the doctor!" I have occasionally snuck a mini mental health exam into conversation with my father (he did catch on the last time, hah!), since Alzheimers has occurred in the family. Perfect score each time, but still.
Yeah. She took a leave of absence and when she returned she was using one of those mobility scooters. Something is up.
Oh, I have another gripe. I work on a computer help desk. As a result someone always answers the phone. This makes my coworkers/'customers'/etc all realize that since we answer the phone, and are behind computers, that we are receptionists or operators too.
"Thanks for calling... this is DrunkleJon how can I help you?"
Transfer me to my boss Billy Bob
...
That why I have no voice mail or ever answer the phone
make all my users do everything by email unless I call them
also if the time ever comes we can print said emails and it is not he said she said
it is what is in black and white
had an instructor one tell me to remember "user rhythms with loser"
all the best
S_M
GrogNerd
mean old man
customer (the office boss) calls, says they have a guy whose payment check bounced, so they need to reverse his payment. easy. go to his payment screen, highlight the payment and hit the REVERSE button. done.
I explain: when he comes back in to make good on the bounced check, whether you charge him for that or not, you just take the payment like you do 100 times a day every day
they say: oh, no, we want to undo all that you just did. we want to undo the reversal. unreverse that
me: like I said, when the guy comes in to pay you back for the bounced payment, post that payment like any other payment. that's how you unreverse it
customer: no, you don't understand. we need to undo the reversal
me: trust me, trust the computer, trust our program. it will all work out if you just wait until he comes to pay you back, then you repost the payment like this all never happened
customer: no, you don't understand. we need to undo the reversal
5 full minutes of this going back and forth.
I explain: when he comes back in to make good on the bounced check, whether you charge him for that or not, you just take the payment like you do 100 times a day every day
they say: oh, no, we want to undo all that you just did. we want to undo the reversal. unreverse that
me: like I said, when the guy comes in to pay you back for the bounced payment, post that payment like any other payment. that's how you unreverse it
customer: no, you don't understand. we need to undo the reversal
me: trust me, trust the computer, trust our program. it will all work out if you just wait until he comes to pay you back, then you repost the payment like this all never happened
customer: no, you don't understand. we need to undo the reversal
5 full minutes of this going back and forth.
Taiin
Active Member
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2015
- Messages
- 38
- Reaction score
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It would be fantastic....if you know, sexy people were the ones stripping. 99% of the time, 'tis confused elderly folks. The other 1% of the time, well, let me just say some people are amateur exhibitionists.
I have decided that when my coworkers next ask me a stupid question I am going to reply with one of the answers from a Magic 8 Ball and see how long it takes for them to figure it out.
Grannyknot
Well-Known Member
Right outside my office is a central thermostat for about 15 offices & rooms.
Due to my close proximity to the thermostat, I am by default, the keeper of the thermostat.
People stick their head into my office about every 15 minutes.....
"Are you hot/cold?"
"Can I change the thermostat setting?"
"Has someone been messing with the thermostat?"
"Don't let anyone touch the thermostat"
"Is someone coming today to repair the heat/ac?"
"Do you know how to program the thermostat?"
I've never touched the thermostat. I've never even complained about the temp in the office. I don't even look at it.
There is an office near the parking lot. I'm thinking about sticking my head in there once or twice a day to inquire about parking policies or when a pot hole will be filled. Might do a similar thing to the guy next to the men's bathroom.
Due to my close proximity to the thermostat, I am by default, the keeper of the thermostat.
People stick their head into my office about every 15 minutes.....
"Are you hot/cold?"
"Can I change the thermostat setting?"
"Has someone been messing with the thermostat?"
"Don't let anyone touch the thermostat"
"Is someone coming today to repair the heat/ac?"
"Do you know how to program the thermostat?"
I've never touched the thermostat. I've never even complained about the temp in the office. I don't even look at it.
There is an office near the parking lot. I'm thinking about sticking my head in there once or twice a day to inquire about parking policies or when a pot hole will be filled. Might do a similar thing to the guy next to the men's bathroom.
Grannyknot
Well-Known Member
My favorite answer is "Closer than ever" to any time related question.
It gives a sense of satisfaction, however provides absolutely no detail.
When do you think those submittals will be returned?
"I don't know but at this point we are closer than ever."
I curse out loud sometimes...where does that rank?
I often do that in response to my inner dialogue while talking with coworkers.
I curse out loud all the time. Slow page load? Bastard! Less than satisfied with the page load time? You're a piece of crap! Issues with getting a pager to load quickly? I'm pretty sure my CPU's mom is a prostitute.
I get mad about everything but that's what I curse over.
I get mad about everything but that's what I curse over.
