The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

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Dear Company For Whom I work,

I fuqqing hate you.

Sincerely,

A Once Very Loyal Employee

Dear coworker,

Yup. Hell, handbasket, this place.

At least they make awesome promises they have no intent to keep, and do their best to squash any semblance of improving morale.

But at least they found a penny while running from the burning stack of $100 bills.

Sincerely,
bless this place. I'm told (by myself) that it could be worse, but e'ery one around me (and me) begs to differ.
 
Dear company for whom I work,

Remember Tuesday, when I called in sick?

Yeah.....Suckers!!!

Sincerely,
Man of stronger intestinal fortitude than I was letting on.
 
Dear Other Departments --
You've had a job in your queue for SIX FREAKING MONTHS and your just NOW getting around to doing it? You suck!!!!!!

Sincerely,
Annoyed co-worker in another deparment
 
Dear guy who played hookie,
This is your boss tracking you down, now you know why you didn't get that raise and why we have to cut hours because we didn't get all of our projects completed this summer. I Guess that means you have to find a new place to work now that I have found you played hookie.

Sincerely,
The DH boss that expects nothing less than 100% and was giving you paid sick days.
 
Dear coworker,



Yup. Hell, handbasket, this place.



At least they make awesome promises they have no intent to keep, and do their best to squash any semblance of improving morale.



But at least they found a penny while running from the burning stack of $100 bills.



Sincerely,

bless this place. I'm told (by myself) that it could be worse, but e'ery one around me (and me) begs to differ.


Dear bless This Place...,
Troof!

Sincerely,

Guy that used a vacation day to bless off and play with beer **** and who might even brew tonight. And btw, our company sucks goat balls.
 
Dear back,

I know I was stupid while doing dead lifts today. How about we make a deal? You go back to not making me wince when I move, and I'll agree not to be stupid about lifting. What do you say? I know I've said **** like this before and didn't follow through, but this time I really mean it.

Sincerely,
Stupid brain

Dear Back,
How did you manage to hurt yourself during deadlifts?

Sincerely
Someone who deadlifts 400+ lbs.
 
Dear gal I had a second date with, and a third promised,
Please let me put my penis in you.

Sincerely,
It's been 18 months. Morals and divorce, combined, suck.

Dear SWMBO,
Don't turn me into that guy.
Sincerely 23 years and counting
 
Dear gal I had a second date with, and a third promised,
Please let me put my penis in you.

Sincerely,
It's been 18 months. Morals and divorce, combined, suck.


Dear IB18.MADCS,

Make the first move. You still got it. Worst case is you still ain't got some.

Sincerely,
That Girl
 
Dear Guy that fvcked all day,

Pictures or it didn't happen.

Sincerely,
Check out the stamina on that guy!
 
Dear Cancer,

You might think your bada&^ now, but the day is coming when you'll be our bit%$!

Sincerely,

Cancer researchers and oncologists everywhere
 
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Dear work,
Thanks for making me drive an hour and a half each way just to attend a 3 hour training, so that I can get paid travel time and mileage for listening to The Brewing Network.

Sincerely,
Choke on my timesheet
 
Dear school,

Why did you schedule the "Wax Muesum" biography report two weeks after Halloween forcing me to buy two costumes for my kid two months in a row?

Sincerely,

Father who's daughter looks too much like Smooth Criminal Michael Jackson.
 
Dear school,

Why did you schedule the "Wax Muesum" biography report two weeks after Halloween forcing me to buy two costumes for my kid two months in a row?

Sincerely,

Father who's daughter looks too much like Smooth Criminal Michael Jackson.

Dear smooth criminal parent,

Now that all of the kids are up and moving on to bigger things I can finally make jokes about the struggles of those with kids in school. .... better the class clown than actual criminal.
Teachers are dumb by nature when it comes to planning things for the convenience of anyone but themselves. ... alright, I had to erase a bunch because I got on my soapbox about administrators.

sincerely whew! I made it!:rockin:
 
Dear Child of Mine,

I know you are 8 years old and believe that toys are meant to be played with. But adults believe that toys are to be kept their original packaging and placed on display on a shelf in order to maintain the collector value.

They don't take them out once in a while to play with.

They never ever take them out of the box.

I know you can't understand why.

And that is why I will not buy you an Inuyasha toy for $75.

Sincerely,
Never Remove From Box!
 
Dear Never Remove From Box,

I'm with ya on the $75 toy but for different reasons.

The main things needed by a child this age are a bicycle, a pocket knife, and an ample supply of stout string (mason's twine is best). Also needed are fairly loose guidelines on what the child is allowed to do, where they are allowed to go and when they must be home. If you feel the child is not quite mature enough for it, withhold the bicycle; they will likely have a friend who has a spare, anyway. Accessories to these basics are okay but not required.

$75 is a bit much to spend on an action figure (I'm guessing that's what it is). Any such item actually given to a child is theirs to do with what they will. If at age 8 they treat it as an investment and never open the box I would have concerns about them - withhold the bicycle and possibly the string in this event. If you convince them that it is unwise to open the box and check periodically to be sure they don't, it is your toy not the child's. I think most here would agree that $75 would be better spent on hops, malt or a really neat brewery gadget that is definitely going to be taken out of the box!:ban:

Sincerely,

Kid at Heart
 
Dear Never Remove From Box,

I'm with ya on the $75 toy but for different reasons.

The main things needed by a child this age are a bicycle, a pocket knife, and an ample supply of stout string (mason's twine is best). Also needed are fairly loose guidelines on what the child is allowed to do, where they are allowed to go and when they must be home. If you feel the child is not quite mature enough for it, withhold the bicycle; they will likely have a friend who has a spare, anyway. Accessories to these basics are okay but not required.

$75 is a bit much to spend on an action figure (I'm guessing that's what it is). Any such item actually given to a child is theirs to do with what they will. If at age 8 they treat it as an investment and never open the box I would have concerns about them - withhold the bicycle and possibly the string in this event. If you convince them that it is unwise to open the box and check periodically to be sure they don't, it is your toy not the child's. I think most here would agree that $75 would be better spent on hops, malt or a really neat brewery gadget that is definitely going to be taken out of the box!:ban:

Sincerely,

Kid at Heart

Dear Kid At Heart,

I got a sack of Golden Promise yesterday for $65. that is an investment. toys given to children are for playing.

Sincerely,
Scottish Ale Up Next!
 
Dear F key,

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Take that you bastard!!

Sincerely,
The space bar
 
Dear Kid at Heart,

She's just excited because over the last three weeks I have introduced her to the world of Manga. We have watched Sailor Moon and Inuyasha and one of her reward options for good grades is getting a Manga comic.

She likes superhero girls. I like her having something she will willingly read for an hour.

She just wants toys to go along with the shows and comics she's reading and doesn't understand those toys aren't toys.

Last night she was playing Inuyasha with Disney Princess dolls. Put a red suit on Elsa and she makes a reasonable faux Inuyasha. Put a green skirt on Jasmine and she turns into Kagome.

It was awesome.

Sincerely,

Enjoying being a dad more than I ever thought I could
 
Dear Kid At Heart,

I got a sack of Golden Promise yesterday for $65. that is an investment. toys given to children are for playing.

Sincerely,
Scottish Ale Up Next!


Dear video producer and "specialty" beer maker
Is this the same as your Scrotish Ale and if not, how is this different? Also I have been looking for links to your latest videos and seem to be missing them.
Sincerely,
Still stuck on the couch and needing entertainment.
 
Dear Dick at Heart,

I have no daughters, only sons. You appear to have me confused with Enjoying Being a Dad. If I had a daughter she would have a knife (along with the obligatory string & bicycle). If you showed said imaginary daughter Hentai pics she would cut you.

Sincerely,

Kid at Heart
 
Dear Couch Potato,

the Scrote-ish was MO and WLP028. the new one is gonna be GP and WY1728. and I might change the Crystal Malt.

Sincerely,
Dipping Berries in Hot Wort
 
Dear Couch Potato,

the Scrote-ish was MO and WLP028. the new one is gonna be GP and WY1728. and I might change the Crystal Malt.

Sincerely,
Dipping Berries in Hot Wort

Dear Scalded Berries,
Thanks for the info. are you planning to filter out the loose hairs this time? I hate it when they get caught in the throat.:drunk:.. I noticed that there was no mention of the award winning videos, has your production team started slacking after so many accolades from the home brewing crowd? Stay on their a$$ don't let them screw off when you're up. You make your money by pumping out product when you are on top..... slackers.

Sincerely, Bored and wasting time dreaming of the day I can can put the bk on the stove.
 
Dear Scalded Berries,
Thanks for the info. are you planning to filter out the loose hairs this time? I hate it when they get caught in the throat.:drunk:.. I noticed that there was no mention of the award winning videos, has your production team started slacking after so many accolades from the home brewing crowd? Stay on their a$$ don't let them screw off when you're up. You make your money by pumping out product when you are on top..... slackers.

Sincerely, Bored and wasting time dreaming of the day I can can put the bk on the stove.

Dear Sadistic Madman,

Please do NOT try to put me on the stove. I get a little "bitey". There are 6 kids in my house. Only 2 are ours and my wife is taking a well deserved nap. when she gets up, there will be a new video in production.

Sincerely,
Unfiltered Merkin Ale
 
Dear expensive VW tires,

Could you please stop with all these flats? And if you're going to go the flat route, could you please take the nails in the tread, not the sidewall? Thanks.

Sincerely,
A guy who is convinced his SWMBO takes a detour through a junkyard on her way home from work
 
Dear Sadistic Madman,

Please do NOT try to put me on the stove. I get a little "bitey". There are 6 kids in my house. Only 2 are ours and my wife is taking a well deserved nap. when she gets up, there will be a new video in production.

Sincerely,
Unfiltered Merkin Ale

Dear BK,
Laughing right now..... I didn't even notice the BK and name thing. But if you into sadism I can throw you on the stove also. This will help with sanitation and the extra hair thing in the Scrote Ish Ale. Might end up with off flavors though. Burnt hair flavor .... I wonder how well that will age out.
Sounds like a house full, I completely get the wife nap thing. Better a nap than a firm grip on the berries! I see that you have failed to note the obvious to those of us that had our kids move out and on to better things. You have an entire production crew at your disposal and kids work cheap! You really don't notice how much kids really help out until they have moved on. .. right now I have a list a mile long of things that are normally complete by now in preparation for winter.
Sincerely, loving and hating the empty house struggle.
 
Dear Homebrew competition,

Thanks for awarding me 2nd place on my IPA! It was my first comp entry. Yay!

Sincerely,
I am thrilled
 
Dear Chief Engineer,

While you are watching YouTube videos in your cozy office, making a small fortune... I am out here hiding stick figures making obscene gestures in all the drawings for the next underpaid draftsman to find.

Sincerely,
10 Drawings/Hour
 
Dear Work,

I'm only in the office three more days this month. Enjoy it. I know I will.

Sincerely,

On Vacation While Not On Vacation
 
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