The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Natdavis777]

Dear autocorrect,

It's an Emergency Department (ED), made up of many rooms. Pardon the misused nomenclature.

Sincerely,

Auto-autocorrect


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear people,

The vehicle you come to the ED in is called and ambulance, pronounce "am·bu·lance", not "amma·lans"

Sincerely,

Guy who just wants to ***** (but seriously though)


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

Oh come on its gotta be said

Dear ED,
I hear they make a pill for that
Sincerely,
Pfeizer

 

[TXCrash]

Dear that guy,

Dear society,
I'm keenly aware that I'm an *******, so I'll continue doing that. At least I'm not a fast lane sotter.

Sincerely,
That guy

 

[hunter_le five]

Nvm.

Dear number40fan,

Good one.

Sincerely,

sarcasthole

 

[mdbrewer1]

Dear that guy,

Something isn't quite right there. Those clowns never use their blinker. Plus, they are almost always holding up a line of cars behind them.

Dear that guy,

Just admit defeat, go straight and then figure out how to get back to where you were headed. Your time isn't any more valuable than those you end up holding up or who you end up cutting in front of.

Sincerely,

Driver who pays attention

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear Local Convenience Store,

it would be great if you could have giant eclairs on hand.

Sincerely,
I Want a Giant Eclair

 

[brew_ny]

Dear I Want a Giant Éclair

we have them wrapped in bacon then deep fried

stop by

Sincerely

Piggly Wiggly

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear I Want a Giant Éclair

we have them wrapped in bacon then deep fried

stop by

Sincerely

Piggly Wiggly

Dear Piggly Wiggly,

Prepare to be decimated.

Sincerely,
It's On

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear I Want a Giant Eclair,

Heidelberg Pastry Shoppe
2150 N. Culpeper Street
Arlington, VA 22207

It's worth a trip, and you will thank me.

Sincerely,
Now I want a giant eclair too

 

[jhoneycutt]

Dear giant eclair

Dont you dare tell my wife those exist

Sincerely
I'll hunt you down.

 

[flars]

Something isn't quite right there. Those clowns never use their blinker. Plus, they are almost always holding up a line of cars behind them.

Dear that guy,

Just admit defeat, go straight and then figure out how to get back to where you were headed. Your time isn't any more valuable than those you end up holding up or who you end up cutting in front of.

Sincerely,

Driver who pays attention

Dear that guy,
You are in the land of rude, uncaring rush maniacs. Get out while you can.
Sincerely,
Tolerant driver that met many polite drivers in downtown Miami

 

[Scele]

Dear World,
Why do I keep coming up against people who are 10+ years older than me, whenever I apply for a job?

Sincerely
Someone who has to add "Resume and cover letter writing" on his resume and cover letters soon.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Dear Car Keys,

Heads up! I leave for work in an hour. Please make yourselves available just for once in your miserable lives and stop hiding exactly where I left you.

Sincerely,
Disorganized.

 

[jbaysurfer]

Dear Disorganized:

It could be worse. Your wife could deride you every time they hide right where you left them, and even, occasionally, move them so they're hiding somewhere else, adding insult to injury.

Sincerely,
I Don't Remember "Ridicule" Being Part of the Vows

 

[jamespz03]

Dear John Wayne,

Thanks for all of the great Westerns. Rainy days, and any day you watch a Duke movie, are that much better.

Sincerely,
Western movie lover

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear World,
Why do I keep coming up against people who are 10+ years older than me, whenever I apply for a job?

Sincerely
Someone who has to add "Resume and cover letter writing" on his resume and cover letters soon.

Dear This Guy,

Everyone's hungry.

Sincerely,
It's a PITA Everywhere

 

[Beernik]

Dear Child of Mine,

You may be in trouble with the school for chasing down, tackling, and biting the kid who was bullying and teasing you at lunch but you are not in trouble with me.

Sincerely,
Your Old Man

P.S. Next time punch him in the kidney.

 

[max384]

Dear Child of Mine,

You may be in trouble with the school for chasing down, tackling, and biting the kid who was bullying and teasing you at lunch but you are not in trouble with me.

Sincerely,
Your Old Man

P.S. Next time punch him in the kidney.

Dear Old Man,



Sincerely,
Every decent parent

 

[max384]

Dear back,

I know I was stupid while doing dead lifts today. How about we make a deal? You go back to not making me wince when I move, and I'll agree not to be stupid about lifting. What do you say? I know I've said **** like this before and didn't follow through, but this time I really mean it.

Sincerely,
Stupid brain

 

[Komocabo]

Dear Every decent parent,

Double mug


Sincerely,
I wish I was more like that kid when I was 8

 

[soccerdad]

Dear Stupid Brain -

Thinking with your testosterone is much like thinking with your pecker. When will you ever learn?

Sincerely, I got your back ... BwaHaHaHa

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Canada,

I will stop making fun of you for being laughably nice in the media and for having silly looking money (especially after looking into a wallet full of money that was sorted by color, I get it now). Thank you for making our honeymoon the most enjoyable time we have had in the last ten years together. We can not wait to come back to see more.

Sincerely,
Newlyweds on the other side of the bridge

 

[smizak]

Dear Buffalo Homebrewers,

There is a disproportionate amount of you guys on this forum. Get back to work.

Sincerely,

Buffalo homebrewer about to get back to work.

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Dear Canada,

I will stop making fun of you for being laughably nice in the media and for having silly looking money (especially after looking into a wallet full of money that was sorted by color, I get it now). Thank you for making our honeymoon the most enjoyable time we have had in the last ten years together. We can not wait to come back to see more.

Sincerely,
Newlyweds on the other side of the bridge

Dear newlyweds,
Enjoy the rest of your "funny money" up there as it's worthless here.
Sincerely,
'Merica

Dear Buffalo Homebrewers,

There is a disproportionate amount of you guys on this forum. Get back to work.

Sincerely,

Buffalo homebrewer about to get back to work.

Dear Buffalo homebrewer about to get to work,
Yes, we are all here. And no, we refuse to get back to work.
Sincerely,
Buffalo HBT members

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear My Boss,

I can come up with a thousand reasons why brewing and drinking beer can be beneficial at work. You need to pull your head out of your butt and quit talking about "safety", which we all know is a myth. Welding and beer go hand in hand.

Sincerely,
A Scotch Ale With Lunch Would Be Nice

 

[Dan]

Dear cancer,
You suck! Leave my cousins kid alone.
F You
Me

Dear Me

I am a brutal monster and care not about you or those you love. Enjoy hating me. You deserve it. I truly am a self serving bastard and have no care or interest in anybody's good health. I love to destroy.

Cancer

 

[Dan]

Oh, dear Cancer

My friends and I are sending this letter together. Our names are Chemo, Surg, Radi, Determination, and Faith.You dear Cancer might destroy our bodies but our strength will eventually eliminate your kind. In the mean time, know that we are at war. You'll never break our spirit.

Have a nice day jackass.

Signed

Your Nemesis.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear cancer,
The kid has more strength than you think. Came out of the biopsy surgery with a smile and good spirits. You cant get that kid down. I hear that today you should have started meeting Mr/Ms. Chemo.
Enjoy the burn,
The 14 year old kid who is not letting you get her down

 

[sfrisby]

.

 

[jhoneycutt]

Dear My Boss,

I can come up with a thousand reasons why brewing and drinking beer can be beneficial at work. You need to pull your head out of your butt and quit talking about "safety", which we all know is a myth. Welding and beer go hand in hand.

Sincerely,
A Scotch Ale With Lunch Would Be Nice

Dear scotch ale,

Lots of stuff and beer goes well together. It's all a conspiracy to get us to stop drinking just like with smoking.

Sincerely,
Having a shiner bock(may fav cheap beer)

 

[ubnserved]

Dear jacka$$ dr,

I want to thank you for the 5 months of agonizing pain and the loss of an entire summer because I could not possibly be right about the metal you installed in my shoulder causing me problems. Here I am a little over 24 hours after having that piece of crappie removed from my body almost entirely pain free and my balance is at least 80% better than it was 2 days ago. Not only did my balance improve but I can now see much better.

Sincerely,
Pod guy with the $24k piece of junk removed from his shoulder.

 

[hunter_le five]

Dear jacka$$ dr,

I want to thank you for the 5 months of agonizing pain and the loss of an entire summer because I could not possibly be right about the metal you installed in my shoulder causing me problems. Here I am a little over 24 hours after having that piece of crappie removed from my body almost entirely pain free and my balance is at least 80% better than it was 2 days ago. Not only did my balance improve but I can now see much better.

Sincerely,
Pod guy with the $24k piece of junk removed from his shoulder.

Dear Pod-person,

Go back to Mars where you came from. We don't need your kind around here, snatching people up and replacing them with alien clones. We're onto you.

Sincerely,

Humans

Ps. Sorry about the shoulder



Sent from the toilet using Home Brew

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

Dear Company For Whom I work,

I fuqqing hate you.

Sincerely,

A Once Very Loyal Employee

 

[Peruvian802]

Dear Wild Ginger Brewing,

Are you my co-worker?

Sincerely
Peruvian

 

[ubnserved]

Dear Pod-person,

Go back to Mars where you came from. We don't need your kind around here, snatching people up and replacing them with alien clones. We're onto you.

Sincerely,

Humans

Ps. Sorry about the shoulder


Sent from the toilet using Home Brew

That made me laugh a little, needed it. After P.T. this morning i was so sore that I just took a pain med and slept for 6 hours. Another wasted day.

 

[UWDawg13]

Dear right hand,

How did you possibly drop the bomber of black IPA your master was really looking forward to tasting tonight while grabbing your keys?

Sincerely,

It's been that kind of day, yet realizing that I have very small problems, and thankful for my health. Thoughts are with you guys who are going through (much) tougher times than I.

 

[ubnserved]

Oh alright we need more humor here.... it is getting very sad in here people are dropping beers!

Dear right hand,
Why are you still numb? You have been this way for 5 months, I could have grown new nerves by knitting them together with individual cells from here to the moon and back. Maybe you want me to think I'm getting "strange " with the left hand but after 5 month so it is no longer "strange" it is a new friend, and left is not as good as you were.

Sincerely
Bored out of my mind and can only read so much.

 

[Hamaki]

Dear Bored out of my mind,

Why does your "strange hand" post bring to mind Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy?

Sincerely,

Rosie Palm & her Five Sisters

 

[ubnserved]

Dear Bored out of my mind,

Why does your "strange hand" post bring to mind Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy?

Sincerely,

Rosie Palm & her Five Sisters

Dear Rosie,
How are your 5 sisters and what are you doing with Jack Handy? Was he on Saturday Night Live or In Living Color? To answer your question Maybe I am having flash backs from years ago. The days are filled with nothing but deep tthoughs. Mostly because I am currently living in a chemical haze cause by crappie drugs that don't do much but turn simple thoughts into deep thoughts. Hey But I won't be dropping any beer so I am doing better than the other guy.

Sincerely,
Guy using deep thoughts to make his way to the can.:fro:

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear Friday,
Why did you take so long to come back by for a visit? This has been a long week.
Sincerely,
Guy who is ready for the weekend