The best advice from an old person

[Kronin]

never trust a fart, and never waste a boner.

 

[Ceedubya]

we used to get a bi-monthly news paper on the ranch called the Hereford news, full of cattle info. On the back, they always posted interviews with several ranchers.

One month one of the questions was to list thier best advice. three of the four gave some great commentary on raising cattle, feed options, calving, etc.

The fourth said "Forty years ago I gave up on women, and I've been happy ever since."

My dad cut it out, framed it, and stuck it on the fridge.

Other great Dad'isms

"If you find a girl you think you might like, always meet her mom early on cuz in twenty years, thats what your going to be stuck with"

When I got my girlfriend pregnant: "I guess you found out that thing is for more than just peein, didn't ya?"

"Keep your toes out"

"Don't squat with your spurs on"

 

[jgbrown]

A good family friend who was only "half lit" at the time passed this on:

Go to school, keep your nose clean, and don't get anyone pregnant.

 

[willangus]

It takes a big man to cry.

But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

 

[blackwaterbrewer]

ocham's razor and the quote at the bottom.

 

[Ryno]

A friend of mine's uncle told him "Your daddy should have came on a fence post and let the crows eat it". Sounds like a nice guy!

 

[Sean]

A little dog is playing by the RR tracks, a train goes by and nips of the tip of the dogs tail.

The dog is startled and turns around to examine the damage, and another train goes by and cuts off his head.

Moral of the story: never lose your head over a little piece of tail.