Taint injury

[FourSeasonAngler]

Ok, seriously... I was wounded in a freak brewing accident a week ago where I found myself stepping over a pile of wood in my garage/brewery in a much too hasty fashion which caused a mis-step, slip and landing on said pile of wood.

The jewels took a hit but survived, however, I was slightly poked in that nether region by a splinter of wood. It's been rather painful the last few days even though I have been keeping it clean and applying neosporin.

It really sucks that I can't SEE it. I mean I can feel that it's a small skin scrape, but friggin' cribbins man I need to see the wound to decide whether it's as bad as it feels or am I being overly sensitive because of it's location.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I just can't bring myself to have SWMBO look at the injury site. It's too close to the most unattractive area on the human body, and I won't let her see me like that.

I figure if it don't feel better in another week I'm going to the Doc.


What say you folks? SWMBO or Doc to look at yer taint first?

 

[Yooper]

Mirror? To see for yourself if someone else should see it? Just a thought!

 

[broadbill]

Ok, seriously... I was wounded in a freak brewing accident a week ago where I found myself stepping over a pile of wood in my garage/brewery in a much too hasty fashion which caused a mis-step, slip and landing on said pile of wood.

The jewels took a hit but survived, however, I was slightly poked in that nether region by a splinter of wood. It's been rather painful the last few days even though I have been keeping it clean and applying neosporin.

It really sucks that I can't SEE it. I mean I can feel that it's a small skin scrape, but friggin' cribbins man I need to see the wound to decide whether it's as bad as it feels or am I being overly sensitive because of it's location.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I just can't bring myself to have SWMBO look at the injury site. It's too close to the most unattractive area on the human body, and I won't let her see me like that.

I figure if it don't feel better in another week I'm going to the Doc.


What say you folks? SWMBO or Doc to look at yer taint first?

Bend over in a full length mirror.

...and not for nuthin' assuming you are of the heterosexual variety you've probably seen alot of your SWMBO from that particular (or very similar) angle.
If she is willing to look, show her.

 

[Pappers_]

Just have her look, for heaven's sake!

 

[FourSeasonAngler]

Mirror? To see for yourself if someone else should see it? Just a thought!

The only mirror I have that isn't on a wall or furniture is a small dental circle I use for automotive work. I tried that one and just can't get a clear shot in that small of a mirror.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Ok, seriously... I was wounded in a freak brewing accident a week ago where I found myself stepping over a pile of wood in my garage/brewery in a much too hasty fashion which caused a mis-step, slip and landing on said pile of wood.

The jewels took a hit but survived, however, I was slightly poked in that nether region by a splinter of wood. It's been rather painful the last few days even though I have been keeping it clean and applying neosporin.

It really sucks that I can't SEE it. I mean I can feel that it's a small skin scrape, but friggin' cribbins man I need to see the wound to decide whether it's as bad as it feels or am I being overly sensitive because of it's location.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I just can't bring myself to have SWMBO look at the injury site. It's too close to the most unattractive area on the human body, and I won't let her see me like that.

I figure if it don't feel better in another week I'm going to the Doc.


What say you folks? SWMBO or Doc to look at yer taint first?

Does she love you? Can you be sure?

Yes. You can be sure when she's seen the worst part about you, and it's okay.

Theres no doubt she's already seen you as an ass, what harm is there in her seeing the hole.


Whatever you do, resist, the urge to fart. The result could end, poorly.

 

[JonM]

Go to Walgreens and get a little handheld mirror. And some Neosporin while you're there.

 

[Xpertskir]

My girlfriend is a nurse, so I really don't think twice about asking her to look at said area...or put cream on it..lol.

She has told me about these

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorectal_abscess

a condition that CAN occur if a wound in that area is not properly taken care of. Lots of bad bacteria next to an open wound.


Read up on those and then think about what is worse...getting one, or SWMBO looking at your chocolate starfish.


Good luck and keep it clean.

 

[JonM]

^ that. And I'm pretty sure that's not just extra leftover space down there and it's the muscle that, ahem, pulls the trigger so to speak. Might not want to take chances with that type of equipment.

 

[forstmeister]

I had to go to the doctor for a weird growth back there a few years ago. Some kind of absess. It was made worse when the doctor called in like 2-3 other doctors for opinions. It turned out fine and they really don't mind looking so what's the big deal? Just get it checked out.

 

[processhead]

Digital Camera. No seriously.

Take several shots in good light. Download them to your PC where they can be viewed in, "ahem", higher resolution.

Oh, and don't forget to delete them all when you are finished...

 

[Tinhorn]

Not sure how to respond to this other than best wishes for a speedy recovery and go to doctor to relive your worries

I had a few funny suggestions but decided to take the high road for once

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I had a few funny suggestions but decided to take the high road for once

Fuggin NOOBS!

 

[Tinhorn]

Fuggin NOOBS!

More serous than I thought didnt realize he fugged up his noobs also! Dayum

 

[Glynn]

Ok all theses visuals are freakin killing me Wheres my mind bleach.

 

[Zuljin]

Digital Camera. No seriously.

Take several shots in good light. Download them to your PC where they can be viewed in, "ahem", higher resolution.

Oh, and don't forget to delete them all when you are finished...

I was going to suggest a camera too, and that he post the pictures here.

 

[day_trippr]

What this forum needs is a good BARF emoticon.
In the mean time, this'll have to do

Cheers!

 

[passedpawn]

Maybe schedule a physical and just work that situation in... kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Or, get the wife to look.

I'd be hesitant to get my wife involved, too. For whatever reason, I've always hidden any pains or sickness.

 

[bigmike99]

This really sucks but is of course hilarious at the same time.

 

[LandoLincoln]

I was going to suggest a camera too, and that he post the pictures here.

It would make for one epic "Is it infected?" thread.

 

[Toga]

I suggest switching from pants to ass-less chaps for a few days

 

[McBrewskie]

Just have her look, for heaven's sake!

This. If it looks real bad have her smell it for south of cheese.

 

[passedpawn]

This. If it looks real bad have her smell it for south of cheese.

Always south of cheese down there, der. I now question your medical opinion, sir!

 

[maltoftheearth]

Sits bath with bath salts -- it will help the wound considerably regardless of size/severity, will aid in some of the pain, will promote healing and may help draw out that splinter. 2 cups of the stuff in a hot bath for 20 minutes every night for a week and you'll be right as rain.

 

[passedpawn]

Leeches. That's how we do it the natural way. Homeopathy FTW!

 

[Tinhorn]

Sits bath with bath salts -- it will help the wound considerably regardless of size/severity, will aid in some of the pain, will promote healing and may help draw out that splinter. 2 cups of the stuff in a hot bath for 20 minutes every night for a week and you'll be right as rain.

No pics of that sensible recommendation please

 

[SharonaZamboni]

Could be a sliver of wood. You really want to wait for it to work its way out? Dig around with a sewing needle or a razor.

 

[Homercidal]

Now that I've laughed several pounds of muscle into my abdomen, I HIGHLY recommend you swallow your pride and seek some help. Whether it's a mirror (which can be bought in this building we call stores), camera, wife, good friend, doctor, or whatever.

One time I got poked by a thorn while clearing some brush and it looked like very small puncture wound. What I found out later was that the thorn was still inside my leg! After a few days, it started hurting more, so I finally got a pair of tweezers, a small knife and dug in there. It finally popped out after a few minutes and was like 22 mm long! (That's 2.2 centimeters!)

You don't know exactly how bad this is unless you look, and it may be bad enough (puncture wound) to cause a severe infection and possibly a hospital visit.

Grab some of them flushable wipes and cleanse the effected area. Maybe spritz on a bit of Old Spice, or whatever cologne you have at your place, just to appease the poor schmuck who ends up drawing the short straw and has to look at your "Greendale Flag".

 

[Xpertskir]

So I was talking to my aforementioned GF about your taint and she echoed my sentiment about anorectal abcess and raised me a Fournier Gangrene

Pic in this wiki is not for the faint of heart.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fournier_gangrene


This injury will likely not turn into anything, but if it continues to be tender, gets red and inflamed...you really need to have someone look at it.

 

[TxBrew]

Don't wait. Go to the doc now.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Maybe spritz on a bit of Old Spice, or whatever cologne you have at your place, just to appease the poor schmuck who ends up drawing the short straw and has to look at your "Greendale Flag".

The alcohol will even help to sanitize the wound ....

 

[Goofynewfie]

Ok, seriously... I was wounded in a freak brewing accident a week ago where I found myself stepping over a pile of wood in my garage/brewery in a much too hasty fashion which caused a mis-step, slip and landing on said pile of wood.

The jewels took a hit but survived, however, I was slightly poked in that nether region by a splinter of wood. It's been rather painful the last few days even though I have been keeping it clean and applying neosporin.

It really sucks that I can't SEE it. I mean I can feel that it's a small skin scrape, but friggin' cribbins man I need to see the wound to decide whether it's as bad as it feels or am I being overly sensitive because of it's location.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I just can't bring myself to have SWMBO look at the injury site. It's too close to the most unattractive area on the human body, and I won't let her see me like that.

I figure if it don't feel better in another week I'm going to the Doc.

What say you folks? SWMBO or Doc to look at yer taint first?

Were you wearing pants?

I can see the brew name now ...
Speared sphincter stout
Ass poked porter
Holy **** that hurts hefe

 

[forstmeister]

This thread reminds of a thread over on www.fark.com several years back where some dude sat on a wooden chair naked and got his balls stuck in between the slats. It was hours of fun while it was going on. He did eventually get his balls out. Still not sure how he got them in.

 

[Aboo]

One word.

Cauterize

 

[Gorms]

Ok, seriously... I was wounded in a freak brewing accident a week ago where I found myself stepping over a pile of wood in my garage/brewery in a much too hasty fashion which caused a mis-step, slip and landing on said pile of wood.

The jewels took a hit but survived, however, I was slightly poked in that nether region by a splinter of wood. It's been rather painful the last few days even though I have been keeping it clean and applying neosporin.

It really sucks that I can't SEE it. I mean I can feel that it's a small skin scrape, but friggin' cribbins man I need to see the wound to decide whether it's as bad as it feels or am I being overly sensitive because of it's location.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I just can't bring myself to have SWMBO look at the injury site. It's too close to the most unattractive area on the human body, and I won't let her see me like that.

I figure if it don't feel better in another week I'm going to the Doc.

What say you folks? SWMBO or Doc to look at yer taint first?

Best troll ever.

 

[day_trippr]

^ Overly cynical. I disapprove...

Cheers!

 

[hunter_le five]

What, no pictures?

 

[TxBrew]

Did you go tot he doc yet?

 

[HefeHood]

I'm thinking u need to seek medical attention. Tx said so...twice.

 

[Randy_Bugger]

A similar thing happened to my buddy. Unfortunately, the wound became infected and they had to surgically remove his taint.