Slight newbie question here, but....
I am looking to make a Skeeter Pee batch tomorrow. I am hoping to have it in bottles by July 1st. Is this reasonable, or am I crazy? If everything goes well, you do have a chance to have something drinkable by your event with some modifications. You should probably be prepared to serve it cloudy, unless everything goes perfect, you won't likely have enough time to clear the beverage. You will want this to ferment fast, so either use a really healthy slurry, or add three packets of yeast to get things started fast. Keep the batch warm (75-80 degrees) and be sure to whip it a couple times a day to get some oxygen in there. Using this method, I've had batches complete ferment in as little as 5 days.
Second question: Is the sorbate going to truly kill all yeast, allowing me to be able to back sweeten with that whopping 6 cups of sugar? I can't afford to have a bunch of bottle bombs going off on the ride to my cabin for the 4th!! Sorbate doesn't kill yeast. What it does in inhibit the yeast's ability to reproduce. So in essence, it's birth control for yeast. This means that if you have active yeast in suspension, after an addition of sorbate, those yeast will live out their life cycle, but they will be the last generation. Since you plan to consume this on a specified weekend, I would skip the sorbate and use another method. When you sweeten and bottle, move it directly to the fridge. Keep the bottles cold and you won't have any problems with bottle bombs.
ASSUMING that I can't get this roughly 3-4 week process done in the next two weeks, how well does this plan work out:
Finish fermenting, SKIP Kmeta and Sorbate....then directly bottle, then sweeten (say, with simple syrup) upon drinking? Is it decent if it doesn't clear? You could do this, but it's a bit of a hassle. If you have room in a cooler, I'd sweeten prior to bottling and then keep it in a fridge or on ice. Batches that don't clear completely do carry a slight yeasty taste in my opinion, but it isn't a bad taste. Just as in beer, the flavors provided by the yeast become part of the beverage. If you would like to get it as clear as possible before bottling, I'd follow this proceedure: Ferment as fast as you can. Don't let your starting S.G. get too high because the more sugar you have at the start, the longer it'll take the yeast to consume it. As soon as your S.G. gets down to 0.997, rack it to a clean carboy. Then you can degas by using traditional methods of stirring or by using a drill mounted stirrer. IF you have a vacuum degassing set-up, that can speed the process of degassing significantly. If you don't have vacuum, you can try this: put the airlock on the carboy and agitate the carboy by placing it on a towel on a slippery countertop of floor. Slide the carboy back and forth to get it to "slosh" in the carboy. You should see lots of bubbling in the airlock as the agitation bumps the CO2 out of solution. Once you have a fair amount of the CO2 vented off, you can now clear the batch. If you have 3 days before your trip, you could try clearing it with KC-Superclear. I find the KC tends to work faster than Sparkolloid. Within a couple of days, you should see 99% clearing with KC. Rack to a new carboy, sweeten, and bottle. Immediately chill and keep bottles cold until consumption.
What if I just dumped the whole batch into my brewpot, pasteurized it (to skip the sorbate neutralizing yeast activity) and then added the back sweetening sugar...then bottled it?
LASTLY...what's the best way to degas without any proper tools? I'm a beer guy for the most part and don't want to have to pick up a tool that will rarely get used.
Sincerely, a beer guy with no wine experience who is just excited to drink some pee!