Masstoberfest 2018

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paulthenurse

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Masstoberfest 2018. Saturday September 22, 2018.

Jeezuz, ain't this thing ever going to die? Twelve years! Holy cow, why my wife doesn’t forbid me from doing this again is beyond me.

You guys know the drill by now. Bring your rig and brew with us. No matter how you do it, we want to see it. Extract batches, beer in a bag, all grain, di-lithium crystal warp drive powered mega-sculptures... It's all good and we want to see you doing the voodoo that you do so well.

Brewers arrive early, eaters and drinkers come later. I've decided to serve the BBQ a little later in the day so I don't have to be up all night cooking. Still, it takes a good six hours to do an all grain batch so time your arrival accordingly. I figure to have brisket, ribs and turkey ready around 3-4. Please bring samples of your brews to share with us. Not a competition, just sharing your stuff with friends. If you want to bring some food that's great, if you don't that's cool too. If you want to bring friends, that's cool too. (Assuming your friends aren't sociopaths) This started out as a party for, by and about brewers but has grown over the years to include everybody from my Mom to random strangers crashing the party as they walk down the street.

Corn hole, Horseshoes, Pin the Tail on Yeager

I'll have the Double D (Damned Drinkable) IPA of The Witches Brew fame, my Porter Square recipe and The Tallywacker American Standard on tap. If you want to bring a corney keg feel free. That being said, we're all adults here. If you have too much to drink you are welcome (and expected) to pitch a tent and spend the night. If you pass out by the bonfire I'll put a blanket over you and hide your car keys. (There, now I've covered my ass from a legal perspective.)

And then there is the Masstoberfest Cup. The most coveted prize in Home Brewing. Every year the former winners vote to decide who best reflects the spirit of the Masstoberfest. You know, back stabbing, tax evading, little old lady tripping, ne'er do wells with antisocial tendencies. You need to brew that day to be eligible, unless they take an enormous dislike to you and decide to stick it to you and vote you the winner. The only rule to winning is that you need to return the cup better than you got is.

OK, that's it. Let the bullsh!tting commence.
 
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Meh, you are in luck, the shop was booked.
Should I bring pizza?

I never noticed your signature before. I am also a proud winner of the Masstoberfest and never thought to brag about it in my signature. I think I was 2016(?). No, 2015. I think. Maybe.

BTW, I think Card Bob and I will make it in 2019 if there is another Masstoberfest. No matter how I try, I've never been able to ruin the tradition.
 
I never noticed your signature before. I am also a proud winner of the Masstoberfest and never thought to brag about it in my signature. I think I was 2016(?). No, 2015. I think. Maybe.

BTW, I think Card Bob and I will make it in 2019 if there is another Masstoberfest. No matter how I try, I've never been able to ruin the tradition.

You never thought to brag about the most coveted, most prestigious, most beautiful trophy in all of homebrew....no in all of everything in the world????

I thought my life was complete, and then I won the Masstoberfest Cup and knew I was wrong.
pope.jpeg
 
With all this drinking going on...one question. Will there be any nurses?
View attachment 584053

Trust me. It ain't like porn. If you happen to watch a lot of porn (and we all know you do) the first thing you will instantly become aware of if you're ever in a hospital and getting a bed bath for real, is that it ain't like you fantasize about. Especially when the one on the wet end of the facecloth weighs 250 pounds, has a beard, is bald, and needs support hose to keep the ankles from becoming cankles. And her name is Hilda, not Tiffany.


But I'll be there.

And I'm still a nurse, just an nurse with super healing powers. I'm kind of like Wolverine.View attachment 584077
 
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Trust me. It ain't like porn. If you happen to watch a lot of porn (and we all know you do) the first thing you will instantly become aware of if you're ever in a hospital and getting a bed bath for real, is that it ain't like you fantasize about. Especially when the one on the wet end of the facecloth weighs 250 pounds, has a beard, is bald, and needs support hose to keep the ankles from becoming cankles. And her name is Hilda, not Tiffany.


But I'll be there.

And I'm still a nurse, just an nurse with super healing powers. I'm kind of like Wolverine.View attachment 584077
Thought that was Cape ??
 
Three women winners in a row!!!!!!!!! Oh, sure there three male winners at the start, but the fact that you even have three women brewers who like you enough to show up for this shindig speaks volumes.

The food doesn't suck, and the beer doesn't suck. The pizza oven, however, sucks.
 
Three women winners in a row!!!!!!!!! Oh, sure there three male winners at the start, but the fact that you even have three women brewers who like you enough to show up for this shindig speaks volumes.

The food doesn't suck, and the beer doesn't suck. The pizza oven, however, sucks.

The pizza is feeeee-nommmmm-inal. My Mom says so.

And I saw you scarf down a whole one all by yourself, so simmer down there, Buttercup.
 
The pizza is feeeee-nommmmm-inal. My Mom says so.

And I saw you scarf down a whole one all by yourself, so simmer down there, Buttercup.

Well, the burnt raw pizza was a treat I will admit. It was a one-of-a-kind pizza for sure, and no one alive or dead has ever attempted to emulate it.

I think that @the_bird and I accidentally removed that cheap clamp that must have been an integral part of your design on the pizza oven. I was afraid the whole thing was going to collapse.
 
Wow! What a weekend, just recovering now. Smurf was off the hook at the VMAs. He thought that with the Masstoberfest Cup, no woman could resist him so he proposed to any lady within reach.
vmas1.jpg

Strike 1, Smurf. Hey, what were you doing down there Paulie?

vmas2.jpg

If at first, you don't succeed, try again. On your knees Smurf, really? Ooff, looks like a few beer goobers witnessed this crash and burn.

vmas4.jpg

Smurf just refused to give up. Looks like he got the cold shoulder again. Is that Paulie trying to get a proposal from Smurf. I think Melana got it on film, but hasn't she heard about vertical video syndrome yet?

Just a suggestion Smurf, next time don't start out by asking them if they would like to see your shiny horny hog.
 
You know what's funny? You are the only person about the same height as me. You're a midget.

Stop being mean to Smurfy. We’re not talking about the Pope’s Swiss guards here. There’s no height requirement to win the Masstoberfest Cup.

And there is no place for MCW on MCW crime.
 
7 long years ago, I almost clicked "purchase" on an airline ticket to head to Masstoberfest.

I was gonna take in all the sights of Boston....the_bird was gonna take me to a Sox game at Fenway, dataz77 swore he'd attend if I did; shecky, too....the Bog was still just a dream of a hipster financier working on k-street, and construction on the crumbling raw-burnt pizza oven hadn't even begun. Hell, the LSU was just a barnicle-ridden eye sore in someone else's yard...

Yes, my friends, I didn't purchase that ticket, and in the words of Frost: "...Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all of the difference."
 

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