I swear this is the last time I’m doing a property purchase without an agent

[Beernik]

People look at what realtors do and think, “I can do that and save some money.” But really, can they? And do it on a schedule with hard deadlines?

My current abode (condo) I was renting when my landlady wanted to sell it 2 years ago. It was a pain in the ass, but I negotiated out two contracts and pushed the deal through. One contract was a settlement with the other owner of the building for past HOA dues. The other contract was the sale. I was a government employee for a dozen years. I’m anal retentive about paperwork and deadlines. It was annoying waiting on other people doing their bit, but I got it done.

Now I’m selling to the other owner (& making a tidy sum on it in the process) and I’m waiting on her lawyer to draw up the contract for the sale, since late-March We are less than two weeks from when we are supposed to sign it and 2.5 weeks from when I sign the sale on my new house. Her lawyer should already have a template of the sales agreement because she bought the 3rd of the 4 units 3 years ago. It shouldn’t be taking them 2 months to produce a contract. But then again, I’m running on a calendar with deadlines and they are running on ‘island time’ (I live on an island) where things happen when they happen.

So, here I sit in a half-packed condo with anxiety and boxes up to my eyeballs, trying to decide what cocktails I can mix with liquor bottles >75% empty so I don’t have to move them.

My first bit of advice: real estate agents get that much money on sale because handling the paperwork is a pain in the ass and you probably don’t want to do it even if think you can.

My second bit of advice: a 50/50 gin/vermouth martini is not delicious. Don’t do that either. But it did kill 2 bottles.

 

[MaxStout]

People look at what realtors do and think, “I can do that and save some money.” But really, can they? And do it on a schedule with hard deadlines?

My current abode (condo) I was renting when my landlady wanted to sell it 2 years ago. It was a pain in the ass, but I negotiated out two contracts and pushed the deal through. One contract was a settlement with the other owner of the building for past HOA dues. The other contract was the sale. I was a government employee for a dozen years. I’m anal retentive about paperwork and deadlines. It was annoying waiting on other people doing their bit, but I got it done.

Now I’m selling to the other owner (& making a tidy sum on it in the process) and I’m waiting on her lawyer to draw up the contract for the sale, since late-March We are less than two weeks from when we are supposed to sign it and 2.5 weeks from when I sign the sale on my new house. Her lawyer should already have a template of the sales agreement because she bought the 3rd of the 4 units 3 years ago. It shouldn’t be taking them 2 months to produce a contract. But then again, I’m running on a calendar with deadlines and they are running on ‘island time’ (I live on an island) where things happen when they happen.

So, here I sit in a half-packed condo with anxiety and boxes up to my eyeballs, trying to decide what cocktails I can mix with liquor bottles >75% empty so I don’t have to move them.

My first bit of advice: real estate agents get that much money on sale because handling the paperwork is a pain in the ass and you probably don’t want to do it even if think you can.

My second bit of advice: a 50/50 gin/vermouth martini is not delicious. Don’t do that either. But it did kill 2 bottles.

Yikes, what a story. I hope this gets sorted soon. Imagine someone who is not anal retentive dealing with a real estate transaction.

Sure, there are some bad realtors, but the good ones definitely earn their commissions.

 

[Beernik]

After much haranguing, she text me this morning she received a copy of the sales contract from her lawyer.

Of course, I’m off-island picking up packing materials because I ran out last night. So I asked her to email me a copy before 6pm so I can read it on the ferry home.

EDIT: She actually sent it... and it has a conditions in it we never discussed before and are both greatly to her advantage.

I knew she was going to try to pull this s—- on me.

 

[Bobby_M]

Sorry for your hassles but none of it has to do with an agent. You could have had a lawyer draft the contract for you. You could have also drafted it yourself. Agents just pull a boilerplate contract out of the drawer.

 

[Beernik]

Boilerplates is sounding pretty damn good right about now.

The first mistake was thinking I could save myself some change and letting her lawyer draw up the contract. If I had my lawyer draw it up, it would have been sent out for review 3 weeks ago, not 13 days before recording the sale and there would be no surprise provisions.

The second mistake was thinking she would play it straight. She’s coveted this unit for more than a decade (even more so since she took ownership of the 3rd of the 4 units 3 years ago). You’d think getting what she wanted would be enough but she has to play these ego-trip and try to sneak new & exorbitant conditions into the contract.

I completely rewrote the two offending subparagraphs and sent them back to her saying, “this is more reasonable, a better process, and meets what you say is your intended purpose of the subparagraphs.”

I also, apparently, had to explain to her not to title a document “(my name) edits” because that document contained her proposed edits, not mine. I’d like to be the only one sticking “(my name) edits” on a document title.

 

[Jayjay1976]

I'd be tempted to sell it to someone else, even if I lost a few grand in the process, just to teach her a lesson.

 

[Beernik]

Unfortunately, I’d lose the house I’m buying as well. There aren’t a whole lot of >2000 sf houses in the greater Seattle area for less than $400k and the ones that are, aren’t fully updated & remolded like this one.

But, if I do lose the house because of her delays, I’ll put the condo on the market & I won’t accept her offer even if it’s the highest. I know I could list it at $10k more than she’s buying it and it would still be the cheapest condo on the market in the County. But to do that, I’d have to put at least $1k into fixing the bathroom and buy a new oven.

I’d also have to find a buyer who could get a bank portfolio loan, which can be a pain in the ass.

 

[Beernik]

F—— me through a rolling donut.

She just asked if her business manager (and rental unit manager) & his wife (who does f—— all associated with her business/rentals) could have signature blocks on the contract.

I said, “No, I’m not okay with it,” and explained to her the legal reasons it’s inappropriate.

Hopefully her lawyer giver her the same advice.

 

[Still Brewn]

Damn! What a pain! We were fortunate when we bought our house, we didn't have to sell anything and at the time they were still handing out loans like it was herpies at Woodstock. We found our house made an offer 40k below asking and closed in 3 weeks. I have now been updating it on and off for 12 years. This year is some of the yard, 1 bedroom and painting the outside.

 

[Beernik]

Nice.

Our new place, our realtor talked us into looking at and we are glad we did. It looks so much better in person than it did in the photographs.

The other place we looked at the same day was fabulous in the pictures but ‘meh’ in person. All it had going for it was the view. Otherwise, it was a poorly designed interior & exterior. The garage was turned 90 degrees away from the driveway. I would have had to to a U-Turn from the street to get into it.

UPDATE: Her lawyer must have agreed with me because she dropped the signature block issue.

Hopefully I can get this signed this week and recorded next Friday.

UPDATE2: She signed her bit today & I’ll sign my bit tomorrow after lunch. Then I can get the last of the info I need for my new lender and my anxiety meter can drop from 100% to 50%.


Did I mention I had a dream where I broke both my hands and ferry rammed the dock, breaking it, and we couldn’t pack let alone get off the island?

 

[Beernik]

It is finally done & signed. I am now (on paper) a de facto renter for the next month while we vacate the island. The month’s rent is waived as long as we are gone by July 1 at 9pm.

 

[day_trippr]

Congrats on closing the deal!

 

[Beernik]

4:30pm on Friday, vague message comes through my text: There is an an anomaly with your financing.

Okay, thanks. Right after it’s too late for me to back out of my sale and just in time for me to worry about it all weekend.

 

[Beer Nuts]

How many times can you be smacked in the back of your skull
with a baseball bat before you start to think?

Get Your Own Lawyer.

 

[day_trippr]

Not sure a financing "anomaly" has anything to do with legal representation...

 

[Beernik]

It doesn’t, but it killed my weekend.

 

[Beernik]

Well, part of it relates because the other thing they desperately need by Tuesday is the estimated closing cost of my sale and that title company didn’t get the sales contract until yesterday because of the private party sale delays.

You know how hard it is to get ahold of a title company on a different island at 4:30pm on a Friday?

 

[Beernik]

After 10 hours (2 on boats, 3 waiting for boats, & 3 driving) everything is finally back on track.

Never let anyone convince you living full time on a ferry served island is exotic.

I also stopped by the new place to take another look at the fruit trees. It looks like cherry, plumb, fig, and something I couldn’t identify.

 

[Beernik]

It is finally coming together.

Allegedly, we are signing the condo sale closing docs tomorrow at noon. I say ‘allegedly’ because I was supposed to receive the Final Closing Disclosure statement before close of business today. I’ll be kind of pissed if it doesn’t happen because we’ve got to take a ferry to another island to sign it because they don’t do e-sign that eats 5 hours out of our day just to sign a paper.

Also allegedly, we are signing the house purchase Monday or Tuesday. It’s not scheduled yet because I need that final closing disclosure first.

EDIT - I also had this conversation today:

Title Agent: We can fedex the documents to you to sign and you can fedex back.

Me: There is fedex on my island?

Title Agent: Oh, right. You’ll have to come here.

 

[Beer Nuts]

It is finally coming together.

Title Agent: Oh, right. You’ll have to come here.

YOU: Nope, you come here.

Is he a lawyer?
Sounds like the dude works with a lap top on his dining room table
after he gets home from his job.

 

[Beernik]

No, it’s San Juan County, WA, where the 21st century has yet to arrive.

It just underlines many of the reasons I need to move somewhere with easier mainland access. There are things I need to do and I can’t live my life on ‘island time’ anymore or live by the ferryman’s schedule.

If I’m the one on a schedule and I need it today, I’m the one traveling for it.

 

[Dland]

I understand the island life and ferry hassle part, I actually got out of the habit of ever going off, unless needed for medical or such, been over a year.

We used to have "island time" too, but sadly it went away with the soaring population and property values. heck, I'd switch islands with you if I could.

 

[ifnotuthenwho]

Remember what Chris de Burgh says: Don’t pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side.

 

[Beernik]

The private sale, at least my portion of it, is complete. It will be recorded and the money will be transferred tomorrow. We sign docs on the new place Monday and it gets recorded Tuesday. I’ll pick up the keys on my way home from Seattle Tuesday night.

I think a lot of my angst here has been less about here and more about a lifestyle I got addicted to. Before the move here, I had a job that kept me on the road one or two days a week. It was too hard for me to narrow my universe down to 30 square miles.

My job here kept me traveling between islands, almost daily, but that meant living by someone else’s schedule. If the ferry ran more regularly, it would have been easier to live with. But there are big 4-5 hour breaks in the middle of the day when you can’t get where you want to go.

Now I’ll be able to access civilization when I need it, I can get home from work before 9pm, and no more nights in hotels except for monthly Portland trips.

My wife won’t have to deal with the condo noise and can set up a permanent art space. My daughter can finally stop feeling like a big fish in a small pond and hopefully find some friends who like anime as much as her. Her best friend is also moving off-island after school, so she raised no objections to the move.

 

[Beernik]

Remember what Chris de Burgh says: Don’t pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side.

You pay when boarding. Otherwise, the ferryman will let you wander the shore for a hundred years.

 

[ifnotuthenwho]

You pay when boarding. Otherwise, the ferryman will let you wander the shore for a hundred years.

I guess the Greek mythology, and later Dante, predates Chris de Burgh, so you should probably go with that.