finchlake
Well-Known Member
Disclaimer
CAUTION, the following is posted as Humor for entertainment value only.
The author assumes no responsibility for the use of this information, nor will I except calls from disgruntled spousal units
HOW TO GET A NEW BREWWARE PAST YOUR SWMBO.
Tactic #1
After purchasing your very expensive brewing equipment, carefully coat it with dust, and wrap in the oldest newpaper you can find. Something from 1972 is about right. Cover with spider webs. It helps if there is a strong odor of mold about it.
Carry the package into the house and casually toss into a corner.
When the SWMBO Walksnaps "What THAT?" "MORE BEER STUFF?"
You offhandedly reply, "Oh, you remember old Joe Washisname?"
"He got (choose one, and REMEMBER which you chose) on a binge, got divorced, left town, etc; "and needed money". "I gave him $5.00 for this old keg”. Unwrap JUST enough paper to allow her to see dusty metal. Wave close to her nose so smell hits her, and spider webs get on her.
"Oh, Ok, just get it out of the house".
Casually toss it into corner of basement. Over a period of several weeks, gradually clean up your new prize and move, one step at a time toward the brewhouse. Allow her to see dusty, dirty equipment in cleaning area. Slightly cleaner beer stuff in corner, etc. By the time you get your beauty fully clean and into the brewhouse, she is so used to seeing it around, that she won't notice that it's an expensive item.
Tactic #2
Walk directly into house with new Beer Stuff. Be bold, you haven’t done anything wrong (like buy more beer stuff with asking).
When the SWMBO Walksnaps "What THAT?" "MORE BEER STUFF?"
You offhandedly reply, "Oh, you remember old Joe Washisname?"
He bought this and needs me to hold it for him until he clears it with his SWMBO. Place it in the least noticable part of the brewhouse. All Beer Stuff looks the same to SWMBO’s. Eventuly she will forget about it and you move it around to where you want it.
Tactic #3
If you’re cleaver enough to get it in the house without her seeing it, place it amongst all your other beer stuff like it’s always been there.
IF SWMBO detectes it and Walksnaps "What THAT?" "NEW BEER STUFF?"
You offhandedly reply, " "New?!? I've had this for years!"
Remember this must be done with a stright face, because the pentilites for getting caught are quite sever.
OK, how about it. Any more ideas on how to get new BEER STUFF into the house?