Holy Crap, I just got ENGAGED.

[Xaphoeous]

Welp, as of last night, I'm engaged to my beautiful SWMBO. I caught her by surprise, which makes sense since it kinda caught ME by surprise!

There I was, getting home from work before her (she usually gets home before me but she had a job interview for holiday work), and I thought to myself, "hey, try on your new suit and make sure it fits properly." It fits. But once I had it on, I thought, "she's going to be here any minute and would have NO idea if was coming if I proposed tonight!" I didn't intend on proposing for another month or two...

So I run to the basement and get the ring out of the safe, quickly brush my teeth, fix my messy hair, comb my beard, feed the dog and figure she'll be home any minute.

After NINETY minutes of standing at the window watching for her headlights, I see her pull in the driveway and I, for some unknown reason, ran as fast as I could to the living room...as if she could somehow park her car in the garage and walk into the house faster than I could walk to the living room, HA!

I lit the gas fireplace and just stood there (grinning like a damn fool) waiting for her to walk in. She was surprised, but knew exactly what was going on as soon as she walked in. It took me a minute to get my act together and actually kneel down, and once I did I said, "you'd think I would have thought of something to say..." Not being one for much sappy poetic crap, I went with the classic 'will you marry me' phrase.

All in all, she said it was perfect and romantic, and we had some great laughs over my story of frantically cleaning the house and getting dressed up just to wait at a window in the dark for an hour and a half...nervous as hell! Yes, I had already asked her dad for permission to marry his daughter, even though I'm 31 and she's 26 (I still do some things traditionally).

Looks like it's time to formulate a recipe for a special wedding ale!

 

[IrregularPulse]

Congrats man! The random "you'd think I would have thought of something to say..." will be the kind of real life thing that she will remember for years over some cheesy rehearsed line. Good on you for the permission thing too. I made sure to ask my wife's father and older brother as well. Sounds like a great night. Congrats.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Ha.

We were married a year before we told her Mother.

Was 2 years before we told her Father.

 

[Xaphoeous]

Congrats man! The random "you'd think I would have thought of something to say..." will be the kind of real life thing that she will remember for years over some cheesy rehearsed line. Good on you for the permission thing too. I made sure to ask my wife's father and older brother as well. Sounds like a great night. Congrats.

Thanks! She actually said the same thing, that she'll never forget me just kneeling there staring like I had no idea what to do next!

 

[Xaphoeous]

Ha.

We were married a year before we told her Mother.

Was 2 years before we told her Father.

Dang, how'd you pull that off?!?!

 

[cabal09]

I didn't tell my folks for almost a year, I wanted to make sure it lasted. Well 14 years later still married. Good luck and congrats!!!

 

[ThickHead]

Congrats! I'm with Pulse, good on ya for just letting it come out as it was happening and for getting permission. It happened similarly with me. Although it took me several months to learn another language before I felt comfortable enough to ask for permission and hope to comprehend the response without interpretation.

Ha.

We were married a year before we told her Mother.

Was 2 years before we told her Father.

Not entirely your fault. You were, afterall, under the spell of the Nasi Pantat Hitam!

 

[Homercidal]

Congratulations!

 

[paulster2626]

Right on. Thinking for yourself gets old after a while anyway. Don't let her drag you in to planning stupid wedding ****, or you'll pay for it the rest of your marriage. You are the man, remember. Your job is to worry about things like the furnace, the roof, and the beer.

 

[ReverseApacheMaster]

Congrats.

 

[Xaphoeous]

Congratulations!

Thanks!

Right on. Thinking for yourself gets old after a while anyway. Don't let her drag you in to planning stupid wedding ****, or you'll pay for it the rest of your marriage. You are the man, remember. Your job is to worry about things like the furnace, the roof, and the beer.

Effinaye. As long as she keeps the costs within reason, I'll just stay out of it.

Congrats.

Thanks!

 

[Homercidal]

Ah, I remember when I got engaged and wanted to help with the wedding plans. How stupid I was back then.

Fortunately for me, the wife's mom, aunts, and grandma took over and I had nothing important to do. And we did it on the cheap. I can't imagine going through the process of planning what people would call a "real" wedding.

Oh sht... I just realized I'm the father of TWO GIRLS!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I've been chiming in here and there with the wedding planning stuff (particularly the food) because I dont want to seem completely detached from the experience. However, when I heard there was an upcoming 3 hour meeting with the florist, I stood down. "If there is anything I have input on it is NOT the flowers, and Id rather talk about belly lint for three hours than floral arrangements."

 

[JonM]

Congrats!

So is everyone asking "Did you pick a date yet?" When I was newly engaged it was like "It's been 48 hours! We haven't, in the last 48 hours, figured out a budget, set a guest list, visited halls to find one we like and then found the availability for that hall, etc., so, no. We have not set a date."

Okay, I didn't really say that, but I thought it was funny how that's the first thing everyone says. Congrats again!

 

[BainbridgeBrewer]

Congrats! I fumbled my way through our proposal on a barnacle encrustd beach. She still swears I didn't get on on knee, but I think her eyes were just too filled with tears of JOY to notice.
Also, nice work asking the father.
Good luck! I've been married 4 months now, and am actually having a blast being a husband.

 

[IrregularPulse]

My jobs were preacher, beer, guys tuxes and honey moon booking. I also attended the cake testing quite willingly.

 

[paulster2626]

Congrats!

So is everyone asking "Did you pick a date yet?" When I was newly engaged it was like "It's been 48 hours! We haven't, in the last 48 hours, figured out a budget, set a guest list, visited halls to find one we like and then found the availability for that hall, etc., so, no. We have not set a date."

Okay, I didn't really say that, but I thought it was funny how that's the first thing everyone says. Congrats again!

People are so effing annoying. I always had some sort of smartass answer to their moronic questions.

While you're dating: "So you gonna get married?"
...nope, I'm not really a one-woman man to be honest with you. (her mom hated this)

The second you're engaged: "So when's the date?"
same answer as you just said above (her mom hated this one, too)

Literally 3 seconds after you get married: "So when are you having kids?"
...well, we're actually big on anal right now, so I don't think any time soon. (her mom really hated this one, her dad too)

-->side note: Personally I think it's rude as anything to ask people when they're having kids. For all you know they may have been trying for years, and this could be a very emotional and rough part of their relationship.

The day after you tell them you're expecting: "When are you going to have another?"
...umm lets just see how the first one goes first, okay? (I haven't been able to think of something smartass for this one yet, but something along the lines of kids not being worth the financial cost would seem appropriate)

 

[mr_goodwrench]

Congrats, man!

At least yours didn't go like mine... SWMBO was mad at me cause I hadn't bothered to delete my ex's number from my PDA. We were arguing as I dropped her off at home and she was hitting me with the classics: 'You don't love me, you still have feelings for her', etc. I was so exasperated that I pulled out my wallet, took the receipt for the ring (had just paid for it a few days earlier) and threw it at her saying, 'If I still wanted her, why would I buy this!' She just stood there in disbelief. I said, 'So... Will ya?' Now, whenever we see a romantic proposal, I get the old stink eye. She laughs about it, but I know it annoys her as well. Its memorable for sure!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

paulster... Im sitting at work laughing like an idiot. You are my new hero.

 

[Shooter]

Congratulations! I think my wife expected me to propose on the "anniversary" of our first date. Well, her birthday was a month later and I planned on doing it then and taking her out to dinner. I sure am glad I did the proposal prior to dinner. I was so nervous, I'm sure I would have been miserable during the meal. I dressed up, poured a little wine and sat there tapping my foot and waiting for her to get home.

Of course, her birthday was only three days after 9/11. So, it was an interesting week. Ten years and two kids later, I can't complain.

 

[beersteiner2345]

Congrats! Sounds perfect. Here's to many happy years together. I hope you have a marriage that is as fun and rewarding as mine has been so far!

 

[paulster2626]

Here's the way to do it:

-Bought tickets for a Leafs/Caps game on Dec. 23.
-Reserved a room in advance downtown Toronto. Went there early, and set up ice bucket with champagne and roses.
-Arranged a limo to pick us up from the hockey game. Stopped by limo place early and dropped off bag with long underwear, hot chocolate, mittens, toques, and skates.
-Took public transit to the game. Leafs lose of course. Right at the end of it, said "lets go, surprise time", and we go out of the arena and hop in to the limo.
-Tell the woman to put on long underwear in the limo, give the driver a bit of a show.
-Limo drops us off at Nathan Philips Square for some Christmas ice-skating. Very nice.
-We go ice skating for a while, then I suggest we break for some hot chocolate. While I make her fumble around with cups/thermos/etc., I pull out the ring and get on one knee by the big Christmas tree. I say a bunch of romantic garbage. She says "of course I'll marry you". Mission accomplished.
-Immediately afterwards, we hop in to the limo again, and get dropped off at hotel.
-Open door to room with roses and champagne, and yadda yadda, time to drive home the next morning.

No further Christmas presents necessary. Although I did buy her some nice slippers to open up on Christmas morning. She tells the story better than me.

 

[Xaphoeous]

Thanks for all the congratulations!

And you guys are right...the moment we started calling people to tell them the news, we were asked, "soooo, when's the date?" My initial response was, "in about 20 minutes, we just got to the court house." Too many people panicked and sh*t kittens, so I changed it from that point to, "6:35 pm, June 1st, Mission Point Resort, Mackinaw Island...informal black-tie casual fancy-dress 1950s theme only." I think that worked well as a, "we don't know yet."

I'd like to stay out of the planning as much as possible, but if I let her and her mother do all of it, I'll get a bill for $900,003.26 at the end. Something tells me (something = my tiny paychecks) I won't be able to afford that.

ADDENDUM: the "when are you having kids" question was the first out of her mother's mouth...not even a "congratualtions" or "yay for you." It went like this, "Sean just proposed!" "When are you going to start giving me grandkids!?!?!"

Really?

 

[JonM]

Tell grandma "in about three months."

 

[pksmitty]

I proposed on top of a mountain in Vermont. On skis. I blame the thin air and lack of oxygen.

Celebrating 22 years tomorrow!

Congratulations!

 

[drainbamage]

Congrats! I'm glad you had better luck than me on asking her dad's permission.

I also wanted to go the old-fashioned way and ask her father first. I caught him a little off-guard, but otherwise he didn't have any objections. My SWMBO was finishing up her last semester of college 80 miles away, so I was planning to wait until she graduated before actually popping the question. We had been dating for 5+ years, so everybody knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, but I still wanted to keep it somewhat of a secret. Little did I know how terrible my in-laws are at keeping secrets...

They called my GF the very next day and asked her, "hey, did Matt mention talking to us about anything?" She had no clue what they meant, so she called me and asked what they were talking about, which I tried to cover up with some lame excuse and hoped that would be the end of it. This happened again several times over the course of the next week, despite my best efforts to play dumb. Finally, my GF called me and said, "Seriously, what did you talk to my parents about ?! They won't leave me alone about it!" By that point, I figured it was better to just fess up than to have her worry I had a terminal disease or whatever and was hiding it from her. I at least got the last laugh. I had my GF help me convince her dad for a few days that I was seriously pissed at him for blowing the surprise. (I didn't really care that much because like I said earlier, it was much of a secret to begin with.)

Anyway, congrats again and best of luck!

 

[david_42]

There is certainly much to be said about keeping the wedding small and saving your money for more important things. Of course, I was 58 when she proposed, so I tend to stay focused on the future. We got married the same week by a Justice of the Peace. She had been thinking about buying a house for several years, so putting the 'wedding' money into a down payment made sense.

She showed up at work on Monday with her ring and was asked, "When?" Friday was the answer. She said one woman spent 20 months planning her wedding. Slightly longer than the marriage lasted.

Oh, and Congratulations.

 

[Lechien]

Congratulations, here's to many happy years.

My quick story:
December 9 1993 Blind date
February 14 1994 Married

Coming up on 18 years and would not change a thing.

 

[beersteiner2345]

Congratulations, here's to many happy years.

My quick story:
December 9 1993 Blind date
February 14 1994 Married

Coming up on 18 years and would not change a thing.

Wow. Cool! Congrats. I dated my now wife for 9 years before we got engaged. When we called people they were all like,"OK. About time." ;p

 

[ndsgr]

Congrats man! I told my wife the story, and got the "that's sweet" followed by "you suck." My proposal was a little lack luster, I suppose.

Thank you Mr. Goodwrench for the story that got her off that.

 

[TrainSafe]

This is super exciting. Congrats.

Everyone will give you advice for weddings, and I'm no exception. You get to pick and choose which ones to ignore. The best advice I got was from my little brother regarding the planning of the wedding: "She'll ask a lot of questions. You need to have an opinion, but not a very strong one."

 

[Xaphoeous]

"She'll ask a lot of questions. You need to have an opinion, but not a very strong one."

These words...I will heed them greatly. Thanks for the tip!

"heed them greatly" - does that actually mean anything, or is it basically just moron-talk?

 

[TheMan]

Here's the way to do it:

-Bought tickets for a Leafs/Caps game on Dec. 23.
-Reserved a room in advance downtown Toronto. Went there early, and set up ice bucket with champagne and roses.
-Arranged a limo to pick us up from the hockey game. Stopped by limo place early and dropped off bag with long underwear, hot chocolate, mittens, toques, and skates.
-Took public transit to the game. Leafs lose of course. Right at the end of it, said "lets go, surprise time", and we go out of the arena and hop in to the limo.
-Tell the woman to put on long underwear in the limo, give the driver a bit of a show.
-Limo drops us off at Nathan Philips Square for some Christmas ice-skating. Very nice.
-We go ice skating for a while, then I suggest we break for some hot chocolate. While I make her fumble around with cups/thermos/etc., I pull out the ring and get on one knee by the big Christmas tree. I say a bunch of romantic garbage. She says "of course I'll marry you". Mission accomplished.
-Immediately afterwards, we hop in to the limo again, and get dropped off at hotel.
-Open door to room with roses and champagne, and yadda yadda, time to drive home the next morning.

No further Christmas presents necessary. Although I did buy her some nice slippers to open up on Christmas morning. She tells the story better than me.

You can't do that...you just yadda yadda'd over the best part! (Seinfeld anyone?)

Btw, when they ask about when the second child is coming, just tell em you went back to anal.

 

[beersteiner2345]

These words...I will heed them greatly. Thanks for the tip!

"heed them greatly" - does that actually mean anything, or is it basically just moron-talk?

This phrase literally saved my life a few times during the planning:

"Honey, it's not that I don't have an opinion on [insert random item, i.e. napkins or something], but my opinion just isn't strong enough to contradict yours, since I know you've had your dream wedding picked out for a while."

Best thing we did was hire a Wedding Planner/Coordinator. Not that expensive, I think ours charged about $3,000 (10% of the total wedding cost, which was a bargain considering the amount of work she and her assistants did, I bet they made less than $5 an hour). That was far and away the best money we spent.

At the very least, hire one to direct the day of. Only costs about $200 and relieves so much stress (especially from the bride).

 

[drainbamage]

These words...I will heed them greatly. Thanks for the tip!

"heed them greatly" - does that actually mean anything, or is it basically just moron-talk?

When you have a lot of options on something, it also helps to narrow down the selection a bit, and let SWMBO make the final call for herself. As in, "Well, I like A & B more than C or D. Which do you prefer out of those?" That way, you can contribute without stepping on her toes (unless you always manage to rule out the options she likes most...don't do that ).

 

[JonM]

I think the only things I'm going to have a strong opinion on are 1) I will not request the pleasure, the honor, or, God forbid, the 'honour' of anyone's company or presence and 2) I will not tell people to join us "at half-past the hour of two o'clock in the afternoon on the sixteenth day of [month], two-thousand-and-twelve." That sh*t drives me crazy for some reason.

 

[TheMan]

I think the only things I'm going to have a strong opinion on are 1) I will not request the pleasure, the honor, or, God forbid, the 'honour' of anyone's company or presence and 2) I will not tell people to join us "at half-past the hour of two o'clock in the afternoon on the sixteenth day of [month], two-thousand-and-twelve." That sh*t drives me crazy for some reason.

That drives me nuts too! Why can't they just write 2:30 on June 16th, 2011. Anyone would agree that seeing the numbers is far easier to recall than writing it all out. Does anyone know why they actually do this? 6 weddings I have attended this year and all of them did this...apparently it's the thing to do...

 

[JonM]

They read it in Grandma's moldy old etiquette book and never questioned it, regardless of how silly it is. Or they saw a post on the Internet which was written by someone reading THEIR Grandma's moldy old etiquette book.

 

[WhineinAlbany]

I think the only things I'm going to have a strong opinion on are 1) I will not request the pleasure, the honor, or, God forbid, the 'honour' of anyone's company or presence and 2) I will not tell people to join us "at half-past the hour of two o'clock in the afternoon on the sixteenth day of [month], two-thousand-and-twelve." That sh*t drives me crazy for some reason.

You would have loved the invitation to my husband's cousin's wedding. The invite read something like "join us at half past two blah blah . . .when the dew drops glisten on the grass and the leaves turn the color of amber." Just a big long poem and no mention of it being an actual wedding anywhere. I called around just to be sure it was a wedding.

 

[Xaphoeous]

I think the only things I'm going to have a strong opinion on are 1) I will not request the pleasure, the honor, or, God forbid, the 'honour' of anyone's company or presence and 2) I will not tell people to join us "at half-past the hour of two o'clock in the afternoon on the sixteenth day of [month], two-thousand-and-twelve." That sh*t drives me crazy for some reason.

One quarter past the hour preceding dusk a fortnight after the equinox of spring in the two thousand and twelfth year of our Lord.