Hey Parents!... Version 3.0 *Longwinded*

[WPStrassburg]

I saw a funny list of the top ten best responses when someone wants to rub a pregnant woman's belly. It went something like:

10: No.
9: No.
8: Hell no.
7: No.
6: Don't do that please.
5: No.
4: No!

Et cetera.

I've been told it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, so just give that turkey timer of a belly button a poke and giggle like the Pillsbury doughboy....

As to the odd or overly personal questions just ask something odder than they did. or regardless of what you really do answer totally opposite of what you know they are looking for, just to instigate....

 

[Beernik]

You utter the words "we adopted" and the weird body problem discussions stop. Couple ladies in the office were talking pregnacy issues at the front desk. They said to me, "But I guess you never had to deal with that." I said, "We adopted, so I never had to deal with my wife dealing with it either."

The oddest thing I had someone say to me, though, was "Your daughter looks just like you."

My Japanese - Puerto Rican daughter.

I'm a Scot - Swede.

All I could say was, "You think?"

She probably thought I was being an ass, but for entirely the wrong reason.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Ok, didnt even think to think about this one.

Went to the supermarket yesterday at about 7pm to pick up a couple things with SessionableGoodness in his pappoose to give mom a little time off. Nice lady behind the register who has been ringing me up for years gets so excited to see him for the first time that she bends over the conveyer belt and straight up kisses him on top of the head.

It has never even occured to me to kiss a familiar stranger's baby.

So maybe its happening to me too... maybe I'm turning into a parental lunatic. SG didnt seem to mind getting the top of his cranium smooched by a 50-something Phillipino lady, and I am 100% certain she meant well. But what if she's a carrier of that killer virus thats in the news. Not ebola, the other one. Oh crap... ebola.

So what could I do other than just smile and then wet-nap the little buzzard's head when I got home. There I was... like a crazy person... wet-napping his noggin. "Hey babe, is there anything else I need to do you think?"

My wife: "Well... maybe go to a different register next time."

 

[Homercidal]

Wow, dude. It's just a little kiss on the top of the head. She's just being nice. Relax.

She's probably just slowly getting you used to how affectionate she is, so you let your guard down. Then one day, BAM! When you least expect it, you're waking up to the smell of Phillipino coffee and bacon and eggs, wondering where you are, and why you were having dreams about your mom kissing the top of your head.

 

[burninator]

Wow, dude. It's just a little kiss on the top of the head. She's just being nice. Relax.

She's probably just slowly getting you used to how affectionate she is, so you let your guard down. Then one day, BAM! When you least expect it, you're waking up to the smell of Phillipino coffee and bacon and eggs, wondering where you are, and why you were having dreams about your mom kissing the top of your head.

This actually sounds like the best possible outcome. Keep us updated, OP!

 

[Devin]

Meh, just a little kiss. Gotta get their immune systems working strong early (warning: some language in the link):

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X29lF43mUlo[/ame]