HBT Official Memorable Quotes Thread

[Brewin_Bob]

Oh, you blew your bong!

Must be a gymnast ....

 

[Saccharomyces]

No, we were going off topic. Couldn't find a turbaned smily to signify a hijack attempt.

Very un-PC, but five minutes after seeing this I'm still chuckling to myself.

 

[BigKahuna]

I notch my brew spoon.

For a man of the cloth....Revvy sure is DIRTY!

 

[Revvy]

HEHEHE...Poetic or druck? You decide....

You can expect this to mesmerize and entrapp you and eventually fade away. It's a natural progression that will only serve to foster a deeper intimacy with beer. Dame Krausen will either consistently amaze you or frustrate you to no end but, either way she will always reward you with the most exciting of orgies once she intorduces you to her sisters. They are the beauty queens Ethanol, Ester, & Phenol. But be wary of that hot headed ***** Fusel, she's guaranteed to join the party when the room is too hot and she is certain to leave you confused forgetful, exhausted, regretful, and suffering.

And this gem about Yooper;

That is what she wants. Yooper speaks her language very well also. But, she too will mesmerize you. Just before she slap you in the head with a hockey stick. Which, ironically, is what Fusel feels like too.

 

[springer]

.I dunno what "Slime factor" you're referring to...Mine doesn't get slimey after using it...

out of context but funny non the less...

 

[Revvy]

I dunno who he is, but he is wise beyond his years...

Beer was not invented.

Beer has always been with us.

Beer waited for us to evolve to a point where we would appreciate Beer and then Beer chose to reveal itself to us.

 

[Brewin_Bob]

Here is my friend welding my bung into my keg.

from photos thread

 

[Brewin_Bob]

I'm ready to play with the big boys now. Wanna see my rig? I'll even let you touch it if you like.

From our good friend LG!

 

[mrbowenz]

You go Yoop !, Iam amazed you girls put up with all the boobs and snatch action anyway, you deserve a thread with some rump rangers and turd burglars

OK, this may be wrong, all wrong, but I thought it might get quoted sometime....not, so here I quote my pathetic self.:fro:

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

OK, this may be wrong, all wrong, but I thought it might get quoted sometime....not, so here I quote my pathetic self.:fro:

First rule of Fight Club Man!!!!! Censor thy self!!!!

 

[mrbowenz]

First rule of Fight Club Man!!!!! Censor thy self!!!!

I am pathetic:cross:

 

[FishinDave07]

If I'm gonna hold a big one, I want it to be ribbed for my pleasure.

The question is "where" is the "big one" held and is it really pleasurable there?

 

[FishinDave07]

I see a connection somewhere...^^^

Leave the insides and the rim alone.

 

[Saccharomyces]

Another one from the quote 8-ball.

Hell, I sneeze and my back goes out...getting old sux putrid bong water...

 

[Revvy]

This one might hold the record from coming from someone with the lowest post count...

Dunno but on the very rare occasion I go to mcdonalds I have to take a horrible mcsh*t the next day. Usually I'm like screw it. I'll just take a shower.

eeeewwwww

 

[Revvy]

I guess there's all sorts of preeverts running around this board

i like the put on rubber gloves and rub handfuls of starsan foam on them for a minute

 

[dataz722]

I don't change my light bulbs by hand anymore because I am worried the glass will shatter and cut my hand. So, I built a fully automated light bulb changer using 44 different parts I ordered from McMaster-Carr and bought on Ebay. There are photos of my light bulb changer in the DIY forum.

My next upgrade will be to have a light bulb monitoring system which will notify a central computer of the GPS coordinates of any light bulb which is not functioning correctly. A light bulb changing robot will then be dispatched to the coordinates of the faulty bulb and my light bulb changer will be employed by the robot to change the bulb.

I'm afraid my cats will damage the robot, so I added a high voltage shock system which will deter any cats from playing with the robot.

Some folks think it's overkill to have a fully automated light bulb system, but to them I say F*CK OFF, I do this because it's my ****** HOBBY!!!! :rockin:

Can anyone find any holes in my system?

Also I would like schematics for the light monitoring system if anyone has built one of these before....

1234567891

 

[Brewin_Bob]

.....I feel fairly comefortable saying that there are a lot of things I can't do with both hands.

I get the feeling Revvy will end up quoting this long before olllllo gets it deleted.

Haha, quoted and I beat Revvy to it!!

 

[Revvy]

Haha, quoted and I beat Revvy to it!!

So sue me, I visit my mom on Tuesday's afterwork, and she's off the web.

 

[Saccharomyces]

The way I see it is that this is an important skill to have when there's a zombie apocalypse. When the survivors work out a way to have a colony that's zombie-free, there will be demand for fine beers, and if I can provide them, I'll become immensely wealthy, making money on the whole making my own beer thing.

Couldn't have said it better myself. And I'm .

 

[Brewin_Bob]

I actually screamed when a kitten playfully crawled under my shirt and promptly bit me on a nipple

Too funny to not go here ....

 

[dataz722]

Would you consider sex with a hermaphrodite to be == regular sex?

Well would you?

 

[dataz722]

Wow... The HB fart thread is full of em

I consider a good fart as a job well done!

I always enjoy blowing some HB gas at SWMBO and then ask her to guess the style of beer I just drank.

 

[talleymonster]

...but a guy came on my partigyle pumpkin ale........

10 characters

 

[Revvy]

From a thread on Beer in a Bag kits...Not SURE if he was drunk and thought he was posting on a fightclub thread or what....

I'd hit that. Sure, I wouldn't want my friends to see me do it, and I might have to keep the lights off, but yeah... I'd hit it like a baby harp seal.

 

[Saccharomyces]

No, no, no. OMG, you killed Kenny. You bastards.

I won't let it die. If it dies, I die. Oh, the humanity.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

123456789.

 

[McKBrew]

I'm just an *******. I am fat, and I still appreciate weight jokes. I'm callous, and don't care if I offend others. My motto is: If you can't take a joke, kill yourself.
I'll be over here lol'ing if you need me, and giggling to myself about Twinkie cakes.

I love the bold part the most.

 

[Revvy]

So very busted

I don't say this to many men, but...

Nice tool, dude.

 

[Saccharomyces]

It looks like EITHER, you have a bunch of hopscum crammed into the little space at the top of the carboy, you got a new fermentation going and that's new krausen, OR else Linda Blair just hurled pea soup green vomit into your carboy...I guess if you did the sniff test you'd be able to rule out #3...but if it is demon possesd vomit, you might be topping of the carboy on your own.

Wow, didn't know Revvy was turning into an anti-Zombie EAC...

 

[Revvy]

Hehehehehe......too good!

Just add bacon and I'm getting a food inspired woody

 

[Revvy]

Like I always said...The first step is staring at the airlock...then sniffing it...the next step is "dry humping" the carboy....and then.....

If your carboy ends up pregnant then you have a problem.

 

[Revvy]

I guess this is a hat trick for me today...

Written to Jonnio...

I don't care what your wife thinks, so long as you keep feeding me the meat"

In the interests of fairness, I will admit that I did a little creative editing to the afore mentioned quote....Just for the sake of Jonnio's marriage and 'cats probable heterosexuality I will now herein show you the quote in its true form...

I'd say something like "I don't care what your wife thinks, so long as you keep feeding me the meat" but Revvy would put me in the quotes forum again.

 

[EvilTOJ]

No no, the first quote was entirely accurate. This thread is, if nothing else, making teh funny out of context.

 

[BigKahuna]

...after reading your post, I have decided to lie and just agree with you...

I think Bull8042 is catching on!

 

[Revvy]

I think Bull8042 is catching on!

Bwahahahaha!!!!

 

[enderwig]

That is so pimp, never thought a mans set up would give me a chubby.

From a thread of bar pics...(but it's funnier if you don't know that!)

 

[Revvy]

good one!!!!

And Revvy, I prefer to think that he yeast swim around eating up the sugars and pooping alchohol.
Its like having sea monkeys, except you drink the aftermath instead of pouring it down the toilette.

 

[Revvy]

So many quotes so many possible signitures...

I spent a few days soaking in epsom salts and vowed never again to let myself be tied up in a sack and hung from the ceiling again...especially not when 6'8" dudes named Bart are about. And especially not when they have clubs.

 

[dataz722]

My 15 minutes haven't arrived yet, but you guys are lucky because you'll be able to say, "Hey, I knew StunnedMonkey way back when before he went nuts and killed all of those hookers with an antique teaspoon and an old stale Peep."

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[MoRoToRiUm]

+1 with fiddling with your knobs

Why am I quoting myself!?

Oh wait I am surprised no one picked up my love of knobs... Or is it there are too many males on here! Bring on the hockey stick Yooper!