Brewing a light lager. Mash, lauter, boil, aerate, pitch and seal the fermenter. At the end of your long and arduous brew day, happy with the very light color you were able to achieve, you realize you forgot to crush the grain.
Brewing a light lager. Mash, lauter, boil, aerate, pitch and seal the fermenter. At the end of your long and arduous brew day, happy with the very light color you were able to achieve, you realize you forgot to crush the grain.
I was lucky that only my SWMBO died from CO poisoning during the mash, and I made sure to open the garage door the rest of the day. The propane didn't seem to be working properly, but once my shirt caught fire I knew things were humming. I finally got the flames out just in time to start the boil and faint into the kettle. Hey, who cares what goes in, it's all gonna sterilize in the boil, am I right? Luckily when my timer went off the propane tank exploded, which woke me up just in time for my hops at flameout. Unfortunately I wasn't able to add my bittering hops because they had been consumed by my dogs. I got my chiller set up perfectly, except for a small issue when steam came rushing out over me for a while and I passed out under it a little. When it came time to pitch the yeast I realized it had caught fire three or four times already and was unusable. I just left everything to ferment openly, and grabbed a homebrew, because RDWHAHB, right? Bottle bomb right to the jugular. Then I was turned into a newt.
I got better.
I had gotten the distinct impression that SWMBO was up to no good. All the signs were there - staying out late with no explanation, quickly clearing her e-mail screen when I'd walk in the room, whispered phone calls, i was getting pitying looks from her friends, you know the story. So one day, when she was out late. She claimed that one of her friends had picked her up, but i knew better. I decided to hide in the basement and watch out the little front window for her to come home - I knew HE'D be driving and I wanted to get a look at this SOB. As I was crouching down peering out the window, out of the corner of my eye, I happened to see the fermenter, which contained the last batch we had brewed together.
I noticed that the fermentometer had gone all the way up to 72. Is my batch ruined? I rigged up a swamp cooler to bring the temp down but I'm really concerned about esters because this is supposed to be a nice clean cream ale. Will esters go away with time? Any way to tell if esters have developed already?
Brew day went perfect up until yeast pitching time. Then suddenly it gets very dark outside. A cloned tyrannosaurus rex has escaped the Jurrasic Park Island, swam to the states, hitch hiked Kentucky and is now towering over me. He bites me in half, and swallows everything from the waist up. Except, of course, the kidneys, appendix and miscellaneous guts that slipped out during the bite. That was going to be a good beer, too.
Brew day went perfect up until yeast pitching time. Then suddenly it gets very dark outside. A cloned tyrannosaurus rex has escaped the Jurrasic Park Island, swam to the states, hitch hiked Kentucky and is now towering over me. He bites me in half, and swallows everything from the waist up. Except, of course, the kidneys, appendix and miscellaneous guts that slipped out during the bite. That was going to be a good beer, too.
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