Confession Time

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I've made 90 batches of beer and have never once measured my efficiency. I'm not sure how.

Well I will be doing number 28 and 29 this week end and I have never measured it either. I am not even sure what it taste like, but there must be some of it our beer. Because after all it still taste's like beer.......good beer that is.
 
I was extra nice to SWMBO this weekend. She knows how to work a heymacytometer and is my supply of trypan blue!
 
Boil water advisory issued on brew day. Do I go buy bottled water? No. I smell the tap water. Smells strongly chlorinated. Ok, boil it first. Do some research about boiling chlorinated water. It appears the local water company favors chlorinates over chlorine. Boiling won't cut it. Ok, what neutralizes chlorinates in a hurry? Acids! Hmm.... Lemon juice has acids. We add lemon juice concentrate to the mash water. Hey, today we are going to brew an IPA. Citrus flavors are all the rave today. However, I wonder, was that enough? Looking around and thinking of a solution. Wait! I have a huge aquarium. I have drops that instantly remove chlorine and chlorinates. Use that too. OK, the label on the aquarium stuff strictly states that it is not for human consumption. But if it keeps my delicate "canary in the coal mine" fish alive, how can it be harmful? I use it. I brew my beer, boil water advisory be damned.

Send flowers to my wife.

On a positive note. My mash efficiency was really good.
 
As some of you may have seen, I ordered a beer kit last week that clearly advertised that indeed there was not yeast included. Kit comes in (with no yeast of course) so I sought to buy some yeast. I came away with the yeast, 2 carboy handles, 3 grain bags, another kit for some American Honey Ale and yeast for that guy as well. This is a great hobby.
 
I wash my bottles with warm water and a bottle brush. No PBW, oxy clean, soap, etc. Just water.

Give me a few more years, and I'll skip the brush too.
 
I bottle condition. (No that's not the confession.) After pouring a bottle of beer and leaving the yeast behind, I proclaim, "Vitamins!" and the dog comes running. I pour the yeast in her bowl and she gratefully laps it up.

Once at a party, the dog got drunk. So did I.
 
As some of you may have seen, I ordered a beer kit last week that clearly advertised that indeed there was not yeast included. Kit comes in (with no yeast of course) so I sought to buy some yeast. I came away with the yeast, 2 carboy handles, 3 grain bags, another kit for some American Honey Ale and yeast for that guy as well. This is a great hobby.


No, no, no.... Don't use the carboy handles!
 
I bottle condition. (No that's not the confession.) After pouring a bottle of beer and leaving the yeast behind, I proclaim, "Vitamins!" and the dog comes running. I pour the yeast in her bowl and she gratefully laps it up.

Once at a party, the dog got drunk. So did I.

Hope you are kidding. Hops are poisonous to dogs. You can use spent grains to make dog cookies but once the hops have been added at boil....not a good idea...
 
Hope you are kidding. Hops are poisonous to dogs. You can use spent grains to make dog cookies but once the hops have been added at boil....not a good idea...

I have a toy poodle/silky terrier mix that weighs about 10#. She has been drinking my dregs for longer than I've been home brewing. She's just fine, and I love IPAs'.

(pronounced "eePaw" if Billy is reading.:D)
 
I wash my bottles with warm water and a bottle brush. No PBW, oxy clean, soap, etc. Just water.

Give me a few more years, and I'll skip the brush too.

I haven't brushed the inside of a bottle yet. Rinse them after I drink them, soak in Oxy to remove the label, drip dry, Star San dunk at bottling.
 
I have my kids help me on brew days because 1) I enjoy spending time with them and B) I'm hoping that they will never have the urge to be BMC drinkers. I think it worked with the oldest. He's 21, works for a beer distributor, and only drinks local craft beer.

Oh, and my SWMBO actively supports the hobby. We are looking at houses, and she said we need a 3 car garage so that I can have a permanent brewery set up!
 
I have my kids help me on brew days because 1) I enjoy spending time with them and B) I'm hoping that they will never have the urge to be BMC drinkers. I think it worked with the oldest. He's 21, works for a beer distributor, and only drinks local craft beer.

Oh, and my SWMBO actively supports the hobby. We are looking at houses, and she said we need a 3 car garage so that I can have a permanent brewery set up!

That's awesome. We're cleaning out our garage this weekend so I have more room. We already don't park in there, it's just full of junk, most of which should be in the shed out back anyway. Future plans are for me to move into the shed, but I have to run power to it first, and build a deck before that. Maybe next year?
 
Hope you are kidding. Hops are poisonous to dogs. You can use spent grains to make dog cookies but once the hops have been added at boil....not a good idea...


Ha! I hope YOU are kidding. It is correct that you should not let dogs eat hops, and I don't. I don't have any hop solids in my bottles. I'm giving her mostly yeast with a tiny bit of beer that has been hopped.

Sure, sometimes she convulses uncontrollably for a few minutes and craps the floor, but she still comes back for more. (That's kidding. See the difference?)
 
Hope you are kidding. Hops are poisonous to dogs. You can use spent grains to make dog cookies but once the hops have been added at boil....not a good idea...

Actually its hops can be poisonous to dogs. It has not been fully tested to be definite, but some breeds especially are susceptable to a compound in the hop plant which can cause hypothermia like symptoms and could kill them. It is best to keep hops away entirely, but I have a feeling (I am not a veterinarian) that its the hop matter from your kettle that you really need to keep them away from. YMMV though. There is a link in the thread where this was discussed. https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/dangers-hops-your-pets-108935/
 
I don't exactly measure my grains. I have a large plastic cup that I've dedicated to the task of "grain scoop" that holds 500g to the lip. So 250g is just over halfway up the side, 100 is somewhere below 1/4 full, etc.
 
I don't exactly measure my grains. I have a large plastic cup that I've dedicated to the task of "grain scoop" that holds 500g to the lip. So 250g is just over halfway up the side, 100 is somewhere below 1/4 full, etc.
Common for me as well. My plastic Octoberfest pitched holds 2#'s to the handle. I do weigh the whole bucket at the end because I have often forgotten count or forgotten what my count is.
 
My dads boxer loves beer especially two hearted IPA, I don't think its such a problem with beer as it is with digesting the actual hop leaves.
I wouldn't give him a hop cone or anything but hes crazy about beer and I know other dogs that have drank beer (granted BMC) for years
 
Our dog smokes weed, eats hash brownies, gobbles hop cones right off the vine, wears a mohawk, sings in a punk band, and picks fight with steers. He thinks he's Billy Damn Klubb.

Actually, sounds like every Australian cattle dog I even knew with nothing to herd.
 
I don't exactly measure my grains. I have a large plastic cup that I've dedicated to the task of "grain scoop" that holds 500g to the lip. So 250g is just over halfway up the side, 100 is somewhere below 1/4 full, etc.

I feel a little guilty when I add a 10 lb bag of grain without weighing it to make sure it really was exactly 10 lb. But I'm confronting my illness. I don't weigh it, and damned if it doesn't make beer every time.
 
I thought I cleaned my kettle post brew a couple weeks ago. I pulled the lid off to check it before a brew day this Friday and there was MOLD inside! I immediately cleaned with PBW (guessing a little with the measurements) and wiped clean with damp rag. Still, those are some pretty unacceptable cleaning/storing practices.

Along with that, what are some good procedures for cleaning the ball valve at the base of the kettle?
 
Along with that, what are some good procedures for cleaning the ball valve at the base of the kettle?

Assuming it's a 3 piece you can take it right apart and get at the guts of it. Or if you're me you could have faith that the next boil is going to take care of anything that was hanging out in the valve. That might be another confession in itself...
 
I thought I cleaned my kettle post brew a couple weeks ago. I pulled the lid off to check it before a brew day this Friday and there was MOLD inside! I immediately cleaned with PBW (guessing a little with the measurements) and wiped clean with damp rag. Still, those are some pretty unacceptable cleaning/storing practices.

Along with that, what are some good procedures for cleaning the ball valve at the base of the kettle?

Turn in your brewing card, my friend, you are out! This is outrageous, egregious, preposterous.

If it is a 3-piece valve, disassemble and clean. If 2-piece, throw it into your neighbors yard and never look back. Or, soak in hot PBW and run a brush through it for an hour or two.

Good luck!
 
In another point of learning, I totally forgot the dagone valve comes off the kettle(Face Palm). Dang it. We'll get there at some point. At least the gear will be in top shape.

And check this out! A buddy wants to come by for brew day this week. He wants me to "Teach" him how to brew. We'll see how that goes. How hard could it possibly be!!??
 
To be honest....during the winter months I enjoy brewing the beer more than drinking beer. I just drink a pint a day but if I don't get to brew 1-2 days a month during the winter I get very cranky, moody and just a bit unpleasant to be around. I even brew beer styles I don't care for but my wife and friends love to drink just so I can keep the process going. There is just something very magical in this whole process of doing it on your own and ending up with quality craft style beer..........I do draw the line when one of my neighbors asks me if I can brew Bud light or Coors light. Makes me want to piss in a bottle, cap it and then chill the stuff down to 33 F to see if they can tell the difference.
 
I wash my bottles with warm water and a bottle brush. No PBW, oxy clean, soap, etc. Just water.

Give me a few more years, and I'll skip the brush too.

I confess I already skip the brush. It's amazing how easy cleanup is when you get right on it!
 
Today, I decided to crush grains today in advance of a brewday early next week, and I totally spilled a half pound of rye across my dining room floor. I spent the next 30 minutes picking it all up by hand. Not only a pain in the ass, but plenty embarrassing. I'm glad I was home alone.
 
Today, I decided to crush grains today in advance of a brewday early next week, and I totally spilled a half pound of rye across my dining room floor. I spent the next 30 minutes picking it all up by hand. Not only a pain in the ass, but plenty embarrassing. I'm glad I was home alone.

Only embarassing is if you did not grind it and add to the grist.
 
Only embarassing is if you did not grind it and add to the grist.

Oh, I did. And I picked out all of the hair, lint, and crumbs I could find first. I don't know if it's going to meet the standard of Black Island Brewer now, but it'll meet mine. I did the math, and picking it all up saved me an impressive $.85, but I wasn't going to let it go to waste. Plus, I kind of thought I deserved it after being such a bonehead.
 
I don't boil my IC for any length of time. It's a flameout addition. I tried a few times but always lost the boil. Even at 100% power beforehand the added thermal mass caused me to lose the boil. I have faith that Pasteurization occurs at close-enough-to-boiling in a matter of seconds. I have yet to regret this.
 
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