Determination has gotten you this far, but you will need to add some rage to finish the task. That, and a bigger hammer.I'm almost there and I'm determined to get this all straightened out.
All kidding aside. No one cares how much of a noob you are, we were just a little amused by how many times it was suggested that you had the QDs on the wrong post, but you kept soldiering on seemingly oblivious to the advice.
You seem like a "trial and error" type. If you follow this paradigm for balancing your system, once you get beer to come out the right hole that is, don't expect to enjoy much of your first keg. Slowing down and reading up on the basics of balancing a draught system will get you 'there' quicker.