21st Birthday Brew

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dwarven_stout

dwarven_stout

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So I'm thinking about brewing a nice big stout to lay down for my nephew's 21st birthday brew. I'd like to make it shortly after birth, and so I thought- why not make it a placenta beer? Like an oyster stout, basically.

My buddy's pregnant wife says that placenta smoothies are pretty common, and I'm not sure that beer is any stranger than that.

There is an ethical issue though- should I tell the kid before or after he/she drinks it?
 
Why not make it a placenta beer?
Because that sounds ridiculous and disgusting.

Should you tell the kid before or after drinking it?
After. Definitely. And hand him something to puke in.
 
Some parents eat the placenta after birth. I would personally rather drink nothing but Zima for the rest of my life.

And you absolutely have to tell the kid!

I don't know how it would turn out, though. Placentas are full of blood and all kinds of yucky but life bringing thingies.

Check out these links:
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f12/blood-beer-91840/

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f12/klingon-blood-ale-61383/

Maybe use the vodka idea if you're really, really, really determined to do this. I would just eat Hákarl (fermented rotten shark fin, an Icelandic treat) and chase it with really old Schlitz that has been sitting in a hot garage for years.
 
Heh. You certainly have some creative placenta alternatives. I will say- I think a placenta advantage is that it's vegetarian. It's an animal product, but you don't have to kill an animal to get it.

The vodka idea is pretty a standard approach for "unusual" beer ingredients... might be worth a look.
 
A placenta is essentially meat. Traditionally, meat has been used in the preparation of some beers. I believe Papazian has a historical cock (as in chicken) brew recipe in one of his books. In theory, it should work much the same as any other meat; take that as you will ;)

That said, a placenta is largely blood and connective tissue (connective tissue = the chewy s**t in steaks), so you're essentially adding blood (its unlikely the connective tissue would break down, or add much, to the brew).

This should go without saying, but an human tissue is potentially dangerous, and should be treated as such - cook anything thoroughly before use. Or better yet, don't use it and just add some food colouring...

Bryan
 
TheMan said:
Nutritious doesn't mean it tastes good.

Is this what you people in Idaho do? No wonder so few people live there...
Click to expand...

TBH I think it's more of an Oregon hippie thing.

Why don't you think it would taste good? I'm thinking it could come out kinda like an oyster stout, where there's no real defined flavor contribution except for perhaps an indeterminate mineraliness.
 
screamingcities said:
I wonder what 21 year old beer would taste like. (Aside from the 21 year old placenta inside it...)
Click to expand...

Papa Charlie drank a series of 20 year old homebrews of his and wrote about it. Said most of them aged pretty well, and none of them spoiled.

I imagine I'd wax the caps and whatnot just to help make sure.
 
dwarven_stout said:
Papa Charlie drank a series of 20 year old homebrews of his and wrote about it. Said most of them aged pretty well, and none of them spoiled.

I imagine I'd wax the caps and whatnot just to help make sure.
Click to expand...

Right on. I've never seen a beer that old, so as they say you learn something new...

As to your question about telling him... Man I would tell him. I think if someone did that to me without telling I would be seriously pissed. Not sure if I would drink a beer like that either- It just feels kind of creepy.

Also I dig your screen name. :)
 
dwarven_stout said:
TBH I think it's more of an Oregon hippie thing.

Why don't you think it would taste good? I'm thinking it could come out kinda like an oyster stout, where there's no real defined flavor contribution except for perhaps an indeterminate mineraliness.
Click to expand...

Lol, mineralness? I have eaten plenty of odd and gross things in my time, but I have to say I would draw the line with this one...
 
I say brew up a nice barley wine, age it for the long hall and crack one open with the kid on his 21st.

if you are feeling really cruel that day or want to make him never have a taste for beer again, just tell him that you put the placenta from his birth in it after he drinks one down.
 
terrencepickles said:
That'll be the last time that kid ever drinks a beer.
Click to expand...

Heh. That might be an argument for giving him one around age 14. Avoid lot of trouble in high school tht way (btw- it's legal for relatives to do so in the home in Oregon).


mcwilcr said:
I say brew up a nice barley wine, age it for the long hall and crack one open with the kid on his 21st.

if you are feeling really cruel that day or want to make him never have a taste for beer again, just tell him that you put the placenta from his birth in it after he drinks one down.
Click to expand...

That'd be funny, but I want to actually *do* it (only partly just so I can say I did it).
 
If you gave me a beer with placenta in it without telling me I would kick you in the nuts.
 
Hmmm....in the last few weeks, a guy that wants to brew with placenta, a guy that wants to brew with vaginal yeast, and a guy that wants to brew with his dead wife's ashes. Here's the ultimate recipe:

1) Put placenta in grain bag, steep at 162 for 60 minutes or until it smells like bacon
2) Chill to 80 degrees F in a bathtub full of baby penguins
3) Be sure you make a vaginal yeast starter a few days prior to brew day. The best method is a one night stand in an unsanitary hot tub.
4) Pitch vaginal yeast STRAIGHT out of the vagina for peak "freshness"
5) Ferment for 2 weeks in the primary. Note that the vaginal yeast WILL try to climb out of the carboy hole. It's what they do.
6) Put the ashes of your dead relative, along with optional fresh fruit, in the secondary and rack the vaginal placenta slurry directly on top.
7) After 2 more weeks in secondary, rack to keg, force carb at 12 PSI for 10 days, chill to 34 degrees, and pour yourself a Dead Guy's Vag Placenta Ale.

Congratulations, you have obtained enlightenment!
 
BMGfan said:
Go ahead....may you should add some ashes of a dead relative? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Thats a good idea. You can call it craddle to grave barleywine. Or you can just give it a non discriptive name and let him drink one. Then watch your nephew go threw a nervous break down after you inform him of the ingredients.
 
I can see it now.

<cell mate> So how'd you end up here?

<birthday boy> It's all tied to drinking really... I killed a man after one too many beers.

<cell mate> Heard this one a 100 times...

<birthday boy> I'm guessing you haven't....
 
TopherM said:
Hmmm....in the last few weeks, a guy that wants to brew with placenta, a guy that wants to brew with vaginal yeast, and a guy that wants to brew with his dead wife's ashes. Here's the ultimate recipe:

1) Put placenta in grain bag, steep at 162 for 60 minutes or until it smells like bacon
2) Chill to 80 degrees F in a bathtub full of baby penguins
3) Be sure you make a vaginal yeast starter a few days prior to brew day. The best method is a one night stand in an unsanitary hot tub.
4) Pitch vaginal yeast STRAIGHT out of the vagina for peak "freshness"
5) Ferment for 2 weeks in the primary. Note that the vaginal yeast WILL try to climb out of the carboy hole. It's what they do.
6) Put the ashes of your dead relative, along with optional fresh fruit, in the secondary and rack the vaginal placenta slurry directly on top.
7) After 2 more weeks in secondary, rack to keg, force carb at 12 PSI for 10 days, chill to 34 degrees, and pour yourself a Dead Guy's Vag Placenta Ale.

Congratulations, you have obtained enlightenment!
Click to expand...

Hahaha... Ashy vag postpartum ale could be another good name for your recipe. :rockin:
 
ODaniel said:
If you gave me a beer with placenta in it without telling me I would kick you in the nuts.
Click to expand...

This!
Seriously - are you saying nephew's born, brew with the placenta from his birth, then age the beer for 21 years? What newly 21-year-old guy wants to be forced to think about his mother's vag while he's hanging out with the guys having one of his first legal beers?
 
topherm said:
Hmmm....in the last few weeks, a guy that wants to brew with placenta, a guy that wants to brew with vaginal yeast, and a guy that wants to brew with his dead wife's ashes. Here's the ultimate recipe:

1) Put placenta in grain bag, steep at 162 for 60 minutes or until it smells like bacon
2) Chill to 80 degrees F in a bathtub full of baby penguins
3) Be sure you make a vaginal yeast starter a few days prior to brew day. The best method is a one night stand in an unsanitary hot tub.
4) Pitch vaginal yeast STRAIGHT out of the vagina for peak "freshness"
5) Ferment for 2 weeks in the primary. Note that the vaginal yeast WILL try to climb out of the carboy hole. It's what they do.
6) Put the ashes of your dead relative, along with optional fresh fruit, in the secondary and rack the vaginal placenta slurry directly on top.
7) After 2 more weeks in secondary, rack to keg, force carb at 12 PSI for 10 days, chill to 34 degrees, and pour yourself a Dead Guy's Vag Placenta Ale.

Congratulations, you have obtained enlightenment!
Click to expand...

lmao!
 
JonM said:
This!
Seriously - are you saying nephew's born, brew with the placenta from his birth, then age the beer for 21 years? What newly 21-year-old guy wants to be forced to think about his mother's vag while he's hanging out with the guys having one of his first legal beers?
Click to expand...

Hey, if it was good enough to feed him for 9 months, it's good enough for at least one more night. :mug:
 
TopherM said:
Hmmm....in the last few weeks, a guy that wants to brew with placenta, a guy that wants to brew with vaginal yeast, and a guy that wants to brew with his dead wife's ashes. Here's the ultimate recipe:

1) Put placenta in grain bag, steep at 162 for 60 minutes or until it smells like bacon
2) Chill to 80 degrees F in a bathtub full of baby penguins
3) Be sure you make a vaginal yeast starter a few days prior to brew day. The best method is a one night stand in an unsanitary hot tub.
4) Pitch vaginal yeast STRAIGHT out of the vagina for peak "freshness"
5) Ferment for 2 weeks in the primary. Note that the vaginal yeast WILL try to climb out of the carboy hole. It's what they do.
6) Put the ashes of your dead relative, along with optional fresh fruit, in the secondary and rack the vaginal placenta slurry directly on top.
7) After 2 more weeks in secondary, rack to keg, force carb at 12 PSI for 10 days, chill to 34 degrees, and pour yourself a Dead Guy's Vag Placenta Ale.
Click to expand...

8)Drink
9)Vomit in mouth!
10)Vomit on floor!
11)Vomit on wife!
12)......and it pretty much goes on like that to step 16 where you actually get to vomit into the toilet.

17)Swear off beer forever.
 
dwarven_stout said:
Hey, if it was good enough to feed him for 9 months, it's good enough for at least one more night. :mug:
Click to expand...

Not sure if trolling or crazy ...

untitled (280x280).jpg
 

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