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Old 09-25-2012, 08:11 PM   #111
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Stray lasers can be dangerous. Hope you use a mirror as a shield during transfer. Now that I think about it, that's probably why the cat is always going nutz.


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Old 09-25-2012, 08:12 PM   #112
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Do drunk sharks w/ lasers start shooting off everywhere? I mean, are we talking drunk laser toting sharks w/ agendas?

And what about yeast rafts in a 750000 gallon conical. Could I cross the river Styx on one of those bad boys?

What if the shark takes a huge dump in your fermentor, does it sink to the bottom w/ the trub or does it float w/ the yeast rafts?

What if I accidentally ride one of the shark logs instead of a yeast raft?



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Old 09-25-2012, 08:18 PM   #113
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Do drunk sharks w/ lasers start shooting off everywhere? I mean, are we talking drunk laser toting sharks w/ agendas?

And what about yeast rafts in a 750000 gallon conical. Could I cross the river Styx on one of those bad boys?

What if the shark takes a huge dump in your fermentor, does it sink to the bottom w/ the trub or does it float w/ the yeast rafts?

What if I accidentally ride one of the shark logs instead of a yeast raft?

The lasers are fully automated.

So.......you trust a sober shark not to attack you?

They can be set to detect bears, humans, were-pigs, Pig man thingies, and the bunnies with antlers. Incomplete, but it works amazingly. Do NOT approach the fermenter in a pig costume.

The yeast bergs are hardly solid, unfortunately, you can stay on top of one, but it rather rapidly disintegrates into the styx.

I do get shark padoodoo in the brew, but evidently .005% shark poo and 1.3% shark urine has little effect on flavor, and is far less than the percentage of bear non fermentables found in average beer.

What static? Oh! Yeah sorry about your cat. I'l try to shut the blinds next time.
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Old 09-25-2012, 08:34 PM   #114
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I do get shark padoodoo in the brew, but evidently .005% shark poo and 1.3% shark urine has little effect on flavor, and is far less than the percentage of bear non fermentables found in average beer.
Do you find that you get better head retention w/ .005% shark padoodoo and 1.3% shark urine? I had read elsewhere (read: newsweek) that the absolute max shark urine percentage should be 1.1% or it starts to get an ocean funk to it. You are truly doing the work of 1000 men experimenting in these regions.

I think a great experiment would be to add a couple of ugly penguins to the primary after active fermentation is complete for the sharks to play with. I reckon they could clean up their mess within the normal 2-4 week time frame, unless filtering were to be used.

This opens the door for a whole new breed of bear beer. One where limits are nonexistent and fairies and gnomes live in harmony. I think you just stumbled onto a utopia.
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Old 09-25-2012, 08:41 PM   #115
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made the same mistake......damn thing ate all my Brew Fairies
Same here. The good news is, the fairies eventually came back. The bad news is, this is what they looked like:
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Old 09-25-2012, 08:49 PM   #116
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Do you find that you get better head retention w/ .005% shark padoodoo and 1.3% shark urine? I had read elsewhere (read: newsweek) that the absolute max shark urine percentage should be 1.1% or it starts to get an ocean funk to it. You are truly doing the work of 1000 men experimenting in these regions.

I think a great experiment would be to add a couple of ugly penguins to the primary after active fermentation is complete for the sharks to play with. I reckon they could clean up their mess within the normal 2-4 week time frame, unless filtering were to be used.

This opens the door for a whole new breed of bear beer. One where limits are nonexistent and fairies and gnomes live in harmony. I think you just stumbled onto a utopia.
That 1.1% number it turns out was by weight. not volume.

I find 1.3% to be just a hair low, but to each their own.

And....you are morte right than you know

In my heretofore unannounced underground 950,000,000 gallon lagering tank, there are (drumroll please) actually Killer Whales (with fricking laser beams of course) and ACTUAL, GENUINE Polar Bears!! All in my Hell's Wrath lager, the 450 IBU lager I have going right now. Can't wait to see what flavor they impart!!

(people think their habitat is in danger, lol, when actually, over half of the world's polar bears are in my basement!!!)

The killer whales have to eat, so I do have 2 colonies of penguins living on 2 of the bigger yeast bergs. Maybe 1000 birds in all.

On top of all of that (hopefully imparting no flavors) I have 2 camera crews from National Geographic also in the fermenter. They are planned to live in there for the 2 years this brew will take to ferment.

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Same here. The good news is, the fairies eventually came back. The bad news is, this is what they looked like:
Brother.....those.....dear god......those are effing gnomes! *facepalm*
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Old 09-26-2012, 01:49 AM   #117
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Brother.....those.....dear god......those are effing gnomes! *facepalm*
Those are the freakin ugliest god aweful gnomes I have ever seen. What's worse is when they get all handsy after they've been drinking all day. Don't get me wrong, I haven't had a bear problem since they came around, but sometimes they can get a little pushy.
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Old 09-26-2012, 02:14 AM   #118
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Those are the freakin ugliest god aweful gnomes I have ever seen. What's worse is when they get all handsy after they've been drinking all day. Don't get me wrong, I haven't had a bear problem since they came around, but sometimes they can get a little pushy.
Ugly gnomes......you thought they were fairies!!!
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:04 PM   #119
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Ugly gnomes......you thought they were fairies!!!
Even if they are gnomes, you could certainly call them fairies. Or bears, for that matter. Come to think of it, they might represent the bear-fairy-gnome synergy all in one.
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:10 PM   #120
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Even if they are gnomes, you could certainly call them fairies. Or bears, for that matter. Come to think of it, they might represent the bear-fairy-gnome synergy all in one.
Thank you Dr Frankenstein.


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