Funny things you've overheard about beer

FuzzeWuzze said:

I haven't had any nosey neighbors yet, but im pretty sure the old lady that walked by while I was rotating my drying hops in the garage thought i was growing weed or something.

It was a pretty potent dank smell coming out of my garage.

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That is one thing I could actually forgive someone for calling the cops about - as most people know what weed should look like (or at least guess correctly that it is a green "leafy" plant that you dry before you smoke it).
Reminds me of the story someone told once about getting meth raided during brewing and the cop being convinced his hops were weed

LOL My friend recently said while we were drinking at the bar with a few buddies that they call Belgian Quads Quads because they're brewed 4 times

This isn't really funny but can anybody explain to me how coors "frost brews" their beer

amfukuda said:

This isn't really funny but can anybody explain to me how coors "frost brews" their beer

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It's just a marketing gag they use on the unsuspecting masses. They'll believe anything. Remember the vortex bottle from miller?

Local CL ad

That ad will eventually go down, but the text should live forever...

Did you know that cold beer raises that standard of what beer should be and your customer base keeps coming back ?

Did you know that beer consumers will continually patronize establishments that offer super cold beer?

Did you know that cold beer reduces waste therefore increases profits?

Did you know that the ice effect of Chill-Rite's products draws patrons to the bar to try 32° beer & 5° liquor?

Did you know that merchandising cold beer leads to dramatic increase in customer base?

Did you know that our research has found that patrons never think the beer is too cold?

Frost Rail System

Recessed and insulated Frost Rail can be built into the bar top
Creates an esthetically pleasing and unique look at the bar
Creates a crisp, dry layer of frost on the bar top
Ideal for patrons to rest beer mugs and cocktails upon
Remote reference system with built-in defrost
Customized to fit your bar needs

Temp-Rite Refrigeration

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amfukuda said:

This isn't really funny but can anybody explain to me how coors "frost brews" their beer

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They DON'T, as said above it is marketing BS... "frost brewing" or "cold brewing" means lagering

lemy said:

I am enjoying this thread. Funny stuff, but shocktop and bluemoon is a lot better than half the homebrew I have judged at several homebrew competitions. Even Budweiser and Coors we make fun of, but they are hard to reproduce. The very accomplished brewers make light lagers and pilsners, because they are such a challenge to make.

I do not like the Monopoly and politics of big beer, but...

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Agreed about the quality of some beers that make it to competitions, I always try to say something positive... but sometimes it can be hard!

As to the lagers, I agree. I have always said if you want to know how good a brewer is, ask for his Pilsner or Helles

I went to a restaurant recently and ordered a Guinness. The waitress said, " Oh we're all out, the closest thing I have is a yuengling." yeah those are close.

Jonk4 said:

I went to a restaurant recently and ordered a Guinness. The waitress said, " Oh we're all out, the closest thing I have is a yuengling." yeah those are close.

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You do realize she might not have been talking about Guinness Stout...as Guinness is a brand like IPA is a style

Onkel_Udo said:

You do realize she might not have been talking about Guinness Stout...as Guinness is a brand like IPA is a style

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Really? When was the last time you've even SEEN anything from Guinness that wasn't a stout? Especially on tap at a restaurant or bar?

tyzippers said:

Really? When was the last time you've even SEEN anything from Guinness that wasn't a stout? Especially on tap at a restaurant or bar?

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"Well, actually..."

They also have the black lager.

Maybe it was the Yuengling Porter? Just trying to give the benefit of the doubt, not that I've ever seen the porter on tap.

drainbamage said:

"Well, actually..."

They also have the black lager.

Maybe it was the Yuengling Porter? Just trying to give the benefit of the doubt, not that I've ever seen the porter on tap.

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Still, how are any of those even remotely like yuengling? Just saying. Black vs. Amber...and the same disparity in flavor. I usually try to give the wait staff the benefit of the doubt as well, but sometimes I gotta call a spade a spade.

the guy at work that tried to tell me that Killian's is "a great craft beer" asked me today if I made anything like Guinness. I told him no and that Guinness tastes like water to me after all the years brewing very hearty stouts & porters. to which he replied, "Really. I might have to try one of yours & see if it makes me stand up." I said, "Hell, son. I beers in my basement that'll make you stand up and others that'll make you sit down. I might even have one or two that'll make you lay down." I won again.

If they had the porter, that's a least in the ballpark of a stout (more so than the amber, anyway) and would make some sense for her to recommend. That said, I can't remember ever seeing a Yuengling besides the amber on tap anywhere.

tyzippers said:

Still, how are any of those even remotely like yuengling? Just saying. Black vs. Amber...and the same disparity in flavor. I usually try to give the wait staff the benefit of the doubt as well, but sometimes I gotta call a spade a spade.

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I am not saying, but implying, that you are making same error the servers do selling IPA as a brand. Both of you are wrong...not painfully wrong like comparing Yuenling Lager with Guinness Stout but still perpetuating Guinness as both a style and brand.

Black Lager, Extra Cold, Stout and Export (granted also a stout) are all available on tap in the US. Apparently Yuengling has a Porter as well as their famed Lager (who knew?). As the saying goes "Be more specific!"

Onkel_Udo said:

I am not saying, but implying, that you are making same error the servers do selling IPA as a brand. Both of you are wrong...not painfully wrong like comparing Yuenling Lager with Guinness Stout but still perpetuating Guinness as both a style and brand.

Black Lager, Extra Cold, Stout and Export (granted also a stout) are all available on tap in the US. Apparently Yuengling has a Porter as well as their famed Lager (who knew?). As the saying goes "Be more specific!"

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Ok. You win. I lose. Lets move on to more funny stuff!

hehe I remember when I was young and I'd drink something like Coors and shudder at how bitter it tasted. Then I'd see someone drinking a Guinness and wonder how they could possibly like that "dark strong stuff". Who knew?

Law6ren92ce said:

My Bud Light swilling neighbor believes "Light" refers to the color and anything that doesn't say that is a "dark" beer.

Oakley Sunglasses

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Wow... relevant spam!

mattd2 said:

Wow... relevant spam!

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That's dedication right there! He's been stinking up other threads too with his prepackaged, processed meat.

wailingguitar said:

As to the lagers, I agree. I have always said if you want to know how good a brewer is, ask for his Pilsner or Helles

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Absolutely, say something positive. We don't want to discourage and insult people from the hobby, but sometimes it definitely is a challenge.

Well for me at least, I rather hear negatives. I rather hear what is wrong with my product then hearing, "yum! This is great! " I know its not great, I know that they know. Be honest so I can work to improve that product. I want that same response from the customers I cook for too. Criticism isn't meant to hurt feelings , it is meant to help build something better in my opinion.

Swarley88 said:

Well for me at least, I rather hear negatives. I rather hear what is wrong with my product then hearing, "yum! This is great! " I know its not great, I know that they know. Be honest so I can work to improve that product. I want that same response from the customers I cook for too. Criticism isn't meant to hurt feelings , it is meant to help build something better in my opinion.

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I got that from my wife's ex. Everyone raved about everything they liked about my beer. I gave him one and asked his opinion and he told me everything that was great about it. Then he looked down at it... and back up at me... and I said "go ahead..." and he told me everything wrong with it. Way better than smoke blown up your kilt.

Swarley88 said:

Well for me at least, I rather hear negatives. I rather hear what is wrong with my product then hearing, "yum! This is great! " I know its not great, I know that they know. Be honest so I can work to improve that product. I want that same response from the customers I cook for too. Criticism isn't meant to hurt feelings , it is meant to help build something better in my opinion.

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The only way, in my opinion, to get objective feedback, is to send the beer off to a competition. Something out if town or better, out of state. NHC isn't for good for feedback.

lemy said:

The only way, in my opinion, to get objective feedback, is to send the beer off to a competition. Something out if town or better, out of state. NHC isn't for good for feedback.

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Why do you think NHC isn't good for feedback? I'm actually curious since I've only ever entered one competition and didn't get any feedback that was worthwhile. I thought NHC would be the best place seeing as how they use bjcp judges, no?

ChshreCat said:

I got that from my wife's ex. Everyone raved about everything they liked about my beer. I gave him one and asked his opinion and he told me everything that was great about it. Then he looked down at it... and back up at me... and I said "go ahead..." and he told me everything wrong with it. Way better than smoke blown up your kilt.

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Exactly! How are we supposed to learn what is wrong with our beer if noone tells us what off tastes they are tasting. Our perspective will always be different from theirs and we need to hear others in order to be advancing our techniques and beer. People were saying my first brew tasted awesome! I knew that they were lying because what I was drinking was not that good. My beer tasted like crap and to them it was great. No effin' way, I rather not be lied too.

Haven't heard too many funny things about beer lately though :/.

thesmithsera said:

LOL My friend recently said while we were drinking at the bar with a few buddies that they call Belgian Quads Quads because they're brewed 4 times

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this is epic

tyzippers said:

Why do you think NHC isn't good for feedback? I'm actually curious since I've only ever entered one competition and didn't get any feedback that was worthwhile. I thought NHC would be the best place seeing as how they use bjcp judges, no?

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At nhc there are so many entries and the judges go all day long. There really isn't time to dissect every beer, plus, after 30 pale ales, they start to taste the same, so you find yourself writing the same feedback, getting sensory fatigue.

Those are bad excuses, but it's true. Go to bjcp.org competition calendar and find a long running competition that gets over 200 entries ( research it a little )

I have regional comps I like to enter just because, but if I have a particularly good beer I will enter it into 2 or 3, just so I can compare the feedback. It's really a crap shoot depending on flight placement, did a judge just finish judging smoked beer, bad bottle, etc.

If you have 2 or three to compare and if they all said it was phenolic, then it probably is, but if one said it was lacking hops while the others praised the hops then it was just unlucky for you.

You will not get an unbiased educated opinion from your friends, family, and especially from yourself, ever.

lemy said:

You will not get an unbiased educated opinion from your friends, family, and especially from yourself, ever.

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I completely disagree 100%. as I'm always trying to make a better beer, I am my own worst critic. I actively look for faults in my own beer and ways to improve.

Billy-Klubb said:

I completely disagree 100%. as I'm always trying to make a better beer, I am my own worst critic. I actively look for faults in my own beer and ways to improve.

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I do this too. Even when everyone else is happy with something I made, I'm usually the one still picking it apart. That's the only way to get better at it.

never had a good palate to begin with & Navy chow destroyed my taste buds to the point that anything short of completely foul tastes pretty good to me

the upside is that I like the taste of most of my beers, the downside is I need others' opinions to know if they're any good

have my brew clubs for those; they are very honest & sometimes brutal & I'm definitely becoming a better brewer because of that.

re: Yuengling, I could see a waitress comparing it Guinness because of their black and tan, I'm in Michigan where it's not distributed and I've had it:

drainbamage said:

I do this too. Even when everyone else is happy with something I made, I'm usually the one still picking it apart. That's the only way to get better at it.

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If you made the beer then you are biased. You know what you did right and what you did wrong with process, ingredients, etc, like insider trading.

Entering competitions will either validate what you already know about the beer, or it will give you insight to possibilities that never occurred to you, or you will say they are full of **** and don't know what they are talking about. The latter is a sign of a bad brewer.

lemy said:

or you will say they are full of **** and don't know what they are talking about. The latter is a sign of a bad brewer.

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Or a bad judge. I've seen a few score cards posted on here that were complete BS.

Billy-Klubb said:

I completely disagree 100%. as I'm always trying to make a better beer, I am my own worst critic. I actively look for faults in my own beer and ways to improve.

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Me too.

lemy said:

If you made the beer then you are biased. You know what you did right and what you did wrong with process, ingredients, etc, like insider trading.

Entering competitions will either validate what you already know about the beer, or it will give you insight to possibilities that never occurred to you, or you will say they are full of **** and don't know what they are talking about. The latter is a sign of a bad brewer.

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Yes, but I also usually have a concept in my mind of what I wanted to accomplish by a brew. Unless I'm shooting for a direct clone of a commercial beer, a third party is not going to know whether I hit that mark or not, unless I totally botch the style guidelines.

EDIT: Sorry, I should clarify that I didn't literally mean self-criticism was the only way to improve. I accept constructive criticism from any source, but I do tend to be my own harshest critic.

bleme said:

Or a bad judge. I've seen a few score cards posted on here that were complete BS.

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This turned me off from competitions almost immediately.

drainbamage said:

Yes, but I also usually have a concept in my mind of what I wanted to accomplish by a brew. Unless I'm shooting for a direct clone of a commercial beer, a third party is not going to know whether I hit that mark or not, unless I totally botch the style guidelines.

EDIT: Sorry, I should clarify that I didn't literally mean self-criticism was the only way to improve. I accept constructive criticism from any source, but I do tend to be my own harshest critic.

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I am only saying, entering competitions is the best way to get knowledgeable unbiased feedback. Not all judges are very good and not all of them take the time each entry deserves, but I have received insight about my process, water chemistry, etc that had never occurred to me. I have also been validated on things I had suspected, but was not sure of.

I don't really see where being hyper critical makes a valid critique. I guarantee there are characteristics you will miss and others will pick up on.

mcspanner said:

you made a lager without realising it.

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Haha that is freaking hilarious on so many levels. Cheers!

lemy said:

I am only saying, entering competitions is the best way to get knowledgeable unbiased feedback. Not all judges are very good and not all of them take the time each entry deserves, but I have received insight about my process, water chemistry, etc that had never occurred to me. I have also been validated on things I had suspected, but was not sure of.

I don't really see where being hyper critical makes a valid critique. I guarantee there are characteristics you will miss and others will pick up on.

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I still don't agree with the competition statement. we are all human and we are all biased. that's the way it is. doesn't matter if it's a beer judge or in a court of law. I still think one of the better methods of becoming a better brewer is to find what you don't like about what you have brewed. you will never be happy with it until you can brew to your own tastes, not some anonymous judges' taste.

Billy-Klubb said:

I still don't agree with the competition statement. we are all human and we are all biased. that's the way it is. doesn't matter if it's a beer judge or in a court of law. I still think one of the better methods of becoming a better brewer is to find what you don't like about what you have brewed. you will never be happy with it until you can brew to your own tastes, not some anonymous judges' taste.

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I agree to a point input is the only way to improve brewing. Yours mine and others. Judges have to go through classes and multiple testing and tastings. Now granted everyone's taste buds are different but still valid to get as much information as possible on your beer. If someone tasting my beer if there is something about it they don't like I'm interested if they have something to help improve not just a "This tastes funny" comment.