Funny things you've overheard about beer

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I was once having a drink with a Heineken intern. I asked him for his favorite style of beer and he asked me what I meant. I clarified and said, "You know, stouts, IPAs, Belgians..." to which he replied, "What's a stout?"

I have to say, I don't find that at all surprising.
 
This is embarrassing because it came out of my mouth and not someone else's, but once a long time ago (but not as long as I wish!) I was in a discussion with someone about what mead is. He referred to it as a "honey wine" I donned my expert cap and said, "Actually mead isn't a wine, its a beer. See wine is fermented, while mead (and beer) are brewed." I guess in my total lack of knowledge I assumed that beer wasn't fermented, or was but it used heat while wine was more of a room temperature add yeast to juice kinda thing. Anyway, to settle the argument because I wasn't 100% sure myself, I sent an email to none other than Michael Jackson, cause, hey why not, he writes about beer, so he should know right? He must have had a good chuckle at my ferment vs brew theory. He set me straight right away (but was so nice about it I didn't even realize how stupid my theory was until years later).
 
Yeah, I don't think I even had any idea how big of a deal it was, I was trying to find the answer and came across his site so figured "Why not?" My brush with greatness! And I didn't have a clue!
 
Yeah, I don't think I even had any idea how big of a deal it was, I was trying to find the answer and came across his site so figured "Why not?" My brush with greatness! And I didn't have a clue!

I landed in Germany at my first duty station on my 21st birthday (September 16th, 2009) 6 months later I thought of myself as a beer expert since I had been travelling through Belgium reading/learning/drinking everything I could get my hands on... Ran into Armand De Belder at Zythos Beer Festival, and while I knew who he was and somewhat appreciated the encounter, looing back I was an idiot and should have taken better advantage of the situation. Oh well, I'm 25 now and know more about Belgian beer than 98% of the people I come into contact with on a daily basis... brewing though, thats a whole different story and I'm so thanful for this forum it's not even funny! :tank:
 
Beer laws in Iowa have changed drastically in the last 5 or 10 years. He was probably right at one point in time.

Though I'd argue if his goal was to get drunk, he could buy grain alcohol in Iowa . . . :fro:
Yep. In college, I remember buddies making the 45 minute drive north to Minnesota to pick up MGD, since you couldn't buy it in Iowa at the time because of the alcohol content.
 
I spoke to a friend yesterday that was down in Valdez fishing. He was telling me about the bar tender kicking everyone out at 5:00, I thought was a bit early, but then he mentioned that it was 5 AM. Laws up here are a bit more relaxed.


I was downtown Fairbanks at 6am once and was stunned as several bars across the street closed at the same time. Then, all the drunks stood there on the sidewalk until 7am when they opened back up again!
 
I've read up to page 80 so far and it's made me realize how lucky I am to live in Northern Colorado. I've never had anyone think it was weird, gross or illegal that I brew beer. Plus there are some pretty good beers to drink around here.
 
Just heard an ad on the radio for a pub a couple towns over advertising their selection of ICE COLD craft beer.
 
Not really that funny, but I didn't know where else to post this: my younger son who's in the Army and stationed in Korea came home on leave this month. I took him to BevMo and bought a random selection of decent beers, and he liked Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout so much he went back for a six pack.

I was home for a week (for a change). The evening before I had to leave for work, he was sitting there sipping on one of them and said, "you know Dad, I've never paid much attention to beer before. It was just something I sucked down while I was busy doing other things. But I've started looking forward to just sitting down in the evening and relaxing with one of these things..."

He's screwed when he gets back to Korea, though. Apparently there are zip zero craft or good import beers available on base; the hot seller is Natty Light. But he'll be home for good in a few months, and I plan to commandeer him and turn him into a brewer's helper.
 
Not really that funny, but I didn't know where else to post this: my younger son who's in the Army and posted in Korea came home on leave this month. I took him to BevMo and bought a random selection of decent beers, and he liked Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout so much he went back for a six pack.

I was home for a week (for a change). The evening before I had to leave for work, he was sitting there sipping on one of them and said, "you know Dad, I've never paid much attention to beer before. It was just something I sucked down while I was busy doing other things. But I've started looking forward to just sitting down in the evening and relaxing with one of these things..."

He's screwed when he gets back to Korea, though. Apparently there are zip zero craft or good import beers available on base; the hot seller is Natty Light. But he'll be home for good in a few months, and I plan to commandeer him and turn him into a brewer's helper.

Could start a new thread with this. Title it, "When was the moment you first learned to enjoy beer?"
 
Tonight at a bar near me.
"what's your beer special."
"All craft on draft is reduced price" says waitresses.
"okay, I'll have a Miller Lite." Says customer.
Another waitress, "no, craft is small brewers. Like, not Guinness, Miller, Budweiser, PBR...."
Customer, "oh, I will have a Miller..."
 
Not really that funny, but I didn't know where else to post this: my younger son who's in the Army and stationed in Korea came home on leave this month. I took him to BevMo and bought a random selection of decent beers, and he liked Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout so much he went back for a six pack.

I was home for a week (for a change). The evening before I had to leave for work, he was sitting there sipping on one of them and said, "you know Dad, I've never paid much attention to beer before. It was just something I sucked down while I was busy doing other things. But I've started looking forward to just sitting down in the evening and relaxing with one of these things..."

He's screwed when he gets back to Korea, though. Apparently there are zip zero craft or good import beers available on base; the hot seller is Natty Light. But he'll be home for good in a few months, and I plan to commandeer him and turn him into a brewer's helper.

Yup, he is screwed when he goes back. I went to visit my parents in South Korea last year for 2 weeks and i couldnt find sht over there. All they drink is cheap crap BMC imitation beer over there.

Btw i hope your boy isnt getting into any of those juicy bars over there.
 
I recently went and had dinner with a coworker and his friends. One of them commented on my stout and then said the only beer he buys comes in thirty packs


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Not really that funny, but I didn't know where else to post this: my younger son who's in the Army and stationed in Korea came home on leave this month. I took him to BevMo and bought a random selection of decent beers, and he liked Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout so much he went back for a six pack.



I was home for a week (for a change). The evening before I had to leave for work, he was sitting there sipping on one of them and said, "you know Dad, I've never paid much attention to beer before. It was just something I sucked down while I was busy doing other things. But I've started looking forward to just sitting down in the evening and relaxing with one of these things..."



He's screwed when he gets back to Korea, though. Apparently there are zip zero craft or good import beers available on base; the hot seller is Natty Light. But he'll be home for good in a few months, and I plan to commandeer him and turn him into a brewer's helper.


When I was in Korea a couple years ago I had the local beer "Hite" it tasted like beer...nothing special. But over there it is cheaper than any
BMC. If I remember correctly it was $4 US at the bar while bud was $5 or $6. Also watch out for the soju. That stuff sneaks up on you! and it tastes like rubbing alcohol smells!


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Not too hilarious but I found this amusing. I asked a friend of a friend whether she liked beer at all, hoping she did (we were talking about drinking with dinner). She immediately says she doesn't like "guy beer" which she defines as Nati Ice, but she does like some other beers including Blue Moon and ciders.

In my experience by the way when a girl does get into the "craft" beer thing she tends to go for the IPA's
 
Not too hilarious but I found this amusing. I asked a friend of a friend whether she liked beer at all, hoping she did (we were talking about drinking with dinner). She immediately says she doesn't like "guy beer" which she defines as Nati Ice, but she does like some other beers including Blue Moon and ciders.

In my experience by the way when a girl does get into the "craft" beer thing she tends to go for the IPA's

My wife was way more into craft beer than I. She liked rogue's choco stout most. Nowadays she is a huge fan of Belgians and winter beers. I am far more the hop head of the two of us. Just boils down to personal tastes I imagine.

/end rambling.
 
In my experience by the way when a girl does get into the "craft" beer thing she tends to go for the IPA's


That could be a regional quirk. When I work at the beerfests here the girls all go for the fruity beers. Raspberry Wheat is always the first keg to kick.
 
Went out last night with my wife to a Brazilian barbecue restaurant...not much of a beer selection, mostly macro-swill but had some South American imports, including Xingu (for those who haven't had, it's a Brazilian-made schwarzbier). When introducing me to these beers, he says, "It's kind of like Newcastle..."

I'm thinking...Ok, lager vs ale, black vs brown... I just ordered it...it actually went really well with the rodizio!
 
I saw one of those Brazilian restaurants on triple D I think it was. i like how they grill all the meat on those long rotisseries over the pit. Yum I bet?...:ban:
 
those brazilian resto are awesome, quick advice, skip lunch the day you plan to go!


Go light on the salad bar and heavy on the meat. They usually space the service such that you naturally drift to the salad bar. Everyone deserves a fat-ass day now and again.
 
The couple ones I tried, they give you a chip, green on one side and red on the other, when the chip is on the green side, was not able to eat fast enough for the rate they were coming to the table with the meat!!!
 
the couple ones i tried, they give you a chip, green on one side and red on the other, when the chip is on the green side, was not able to eat fast enough for the rate they were coming to the table with the meat!!!

That's what she said!
 
When I was in Korea a couple years ago I had the local beer "Hite" it tasted like beer...nothing special. But over there it is cheaper than any
BMC. If I remember correctly it was $4 US at the bar while bud was $5 or $6. Also watch out for the soju. That stuff sneaks up on you! and it tastes like rubbing alcohol smells!


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I went to a baseball game in Seoul, and the beer vendors walked around with a sixtel of hite on their back and filled up your cup from a cobra tap. Creative, but not very good...
 
My wife and I had lunch at a pizza place/microbrewery this weekend. I asked what they had on tap and the waiter rattled off the usual BMCs and then he mentioned an IPA. I asked what IPA it was. His response, "just a regular one". My wife looked at me like "oh boy, here we go" but I just let him finish his draft list and ordered the "regular IPA".

Seconds later the waiter came back to inform me that they were out of the IPA. My wife asked if they had any in bottles. He shuffled off and came back with "we have Flat Tire, that's an IPA". I politely told him that it's an amber ale, but he didn't care. He then suggested one of their house brews which was described to me as an "oatmeal beer... or ale, maybe... I don't know, the guy just started brewing it last week." At this point my wife is just staring at me shaking her head just wanted him to stop talking. So I just went with the oatmeal stout.

In the midst of all of this, my wife had ordered a Summer Shandy. So the waiter comes back with my Oatmeal Stout and a Blue Moon for my wife. She didn't even bother trying to get the right beer. Then I tried the oatmeal stout. I don't know where they put the oatmeal, but it must not have been in the mash. That beer had about as much body as bud light and tasted like watered down Guinness.

I know that some of you are going to say "you should have educated him" and I tried a little bit. But believe me, this kid need remedial beer lessons!


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My wife and I had lunch at a pizza place/microbrewery this weekend. I asked what they had on tap and the waiter rattled off the usual BMCs and then he mentioned an IPA. I asked what IPA it was. His response, "just a regular one". My wife looked at me like "oh boy, here we go" but I just let him finish his draft list and ordered the "regular IPA".

Seconds later the waiter came back to inform me that they were out of the IPA. My wife asked if they had any in bottles. He shuffled off and came back with "we have Flat Tire, that's an IPA". I politely told him that it's an amber ale, but he didn't care. He then suggested one of their house brews which was described to me as an "oatmeal beer... or ale, maybe... I don't know, the guy just started brewing it last week." At this point my wife is just staring at me shaking her head just wanted him to stop talking. So I just went with the oatmeal stout.

In the midst of all of this, my wife had ordered a Summer Shandy. So the waiter comes back with my Oatmeal Stout and a Blue Moon for my wife. She didn't even bother trying to get the right beer. Then I tried the oatmeal stout. I don't know where they put the oatmeal, but it must not have been in the mash. That beer had about as much body as bud light and tasted like watered down Guinness.

I know that some of you are going to say "you should have educated him" and I tried a little bit. But believe me, this kid need remedial beer lessons!


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It is obvious that trying to educate him would be pointless as from your description he was just not interested. Now informing the brewer/owner that they might get more business and sell more of their house beer... or ale... or whatever it is they are making if they trained their servers to at least know what they are selling :D
 
Yeah, that's pretty bad when they hire people & don't train them properly. But the waiter not caring about even getting the right beer as ordered?! Manager needs to give him a crash course in "HEY STOOPID!"...watcha tryin' ta do?
 
My favourite is that people don't realize how many calories are in beer. I see people who are "watching their weight" sipping on stouts and just wonder if they know they are drinking a cup of cake.
 
My favourite is that people don't realize how many calories are in beer. I see people who are "watching their weight" sipping on stouts and just wonder if they know they are drinking a cup of cake.

Sssshhhh.. Don't tell them. That is probably the only treat they get all day.

I mean, at least they are drinking stouts and not something more... light yellow and fizzy and watery and...
 
My favourite is that people don't realize how many calories are in beer. I see people who are "watching their weight" sipping on stouts and just wonder if they know they are drinking a cup of cake.

They know how many calories are in that beer. They also want something to enjoy in their life.
 
My favourite is that people don't realize how many calories are in beer. I see people who are "watching their weight" sipping on stouts and just wonder if they know they are drinking a cup of cake.


How many calories do you think are in stouts?


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I went to a bar in a place that I grew up and asked what kind of craft beer they had and the waitress had no idea. So I just told her to bring me any IPA they had. She then asked what an IPA is and I told her an Indian Pale Ale. She then told me that they didn't have any Indian beers. I tried to explain it wasn't an Indian beer, but a style. She was not understanding one bit of what I was saying and as it turns out their beer selection was very sub par. Luckily they did have Sierra Nevada's Pale Ale and didn't have to end up drinking water!
 
I went to a bar in a place that I grew up and asked what kind of craft beer they had and the waitress had no idea. So I just told her to bring me any IPA they had. She then asked what an IPA is and I told her an Indian Pale Ale. She then told me that they didn't have any Indian beers. I tried to explain it wasn't an Indian beer, but a style. She was not understanding one bit of what I was saying and as it turns out their beer selection was very sub par. Luckily they did have Sierra Nevada's Pale Ale and didn't have to end up drinking water!

One of the big local breweries is Devil's Backbone... I went to a Buffalo Wild Wings a few months ago (they actually have a surprisingly decent beer selection) and I saw a Devil's Backbone tap handle...

Me:"What Devil's Backbone beer is on tap?"
Bartender:"Yea, its Devil's Backbone"
Me:"Right, but which one?"
Her:"The one that says Devil's Bacbone"
Me:"Yes, I know which tap it is, but which beer comes out of it?"
Her:"Devil's Backbone (with a stupid look on her face)"
Me:"I'll take a Coke"
 

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