Help! My 1y/o kid just shoved a salad tongs into a carboy, backwards.

drainbamage said:

Didn't they say that on Breaking Bad?

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Yes.. Of course.
What would Walter do in this case?
Thermite!
Few problems can't be solved with a suitable application of energetic chemistry.

I think a photo should go in this thread also

Have you considered a large wooden spoon with a large wad of chewed bubble gum on the end of the handle?

Do I need to explain any further?

Accio tongs! Don't forget to wave a stick at it.

I got it!

You'll need:

1) the carboy with tongs in it
2) a wire coat hanger straightened and bent in half
3) some starsan
4) a space ship

Fly all the stuff into outer space. Now clean the metal wire and tongs with the starsan to remove the oxidized layer. Touch one end of the wire to each claw of the tongs. This will cold weld the metals, so you can close the claws with the hanger and pull out.

Done!

It's 6am and he's told us *NOTHING* since yesterday at 2:50PM.

See? Now THAT is the real trouble with having small kids. They are little black holes of your time, priorities and attention; keeping you away from the business of entertaining the expectant masses hanging on the edges of the forum waiting for valuable updates.

When the Homebrewtalk Museum gets funded and gets built, this will Item #2. (Zuljin's corduroy sofa is, of course, #1 ).

I'm not sure why, but this thread makes me feel like we are all those kids from the movie "The Sandlot" trying to figure out ways to get our ball back.

balrog said:

Electrician's bit. Long and small. Drill hole through the end of each of the silicone tips. Thread string through both holes and back out, using extra long hemostats. From watching MASH years ago, I know there are hemostats lying all over the place. Just ask Radar. Pull thread and it will raise the tips, pull them together, with enough pull it should straighten out the bent tip on the way.

Or you'll drill a hole in the side of the thing during step 1. Then you can use @Homercidal duct tape.

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Apparently, they use these super long hemostats (16-18") for some orthopedic cases at the hospital. They use them once and then they are throw-aways that come with whatever it is they are doing. Ask the X-ray tech to save you a couple sets. Just be sure to bake them in the oven to destroy and biological hazards first... You'd need two, and could clamp each side of the tongs with a pair and pull them out, and could probably even bend them back into shape.

Or

save the carboy and give it to him as a wedding gift down the road. You can add the rest of the stuff he breaks over the years into the carboy too...

TD

Bilsch said:

Yes.. Of course.
What would Walter do in this case?
Thermite!
Few problems can't be solved with a suitable application of energetic chemistry.

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In the immortal words of the Mythbusters, "When in doubt; C4."

I started laughing the moment I saw the title of this thread.

Whenever you decide to give up on this puzzle, you need to have to have a discussion with your wife that ends with the sentence, "And that's why I need to replace it with a stainless steel conical fermenter."

Who knows, it might work.

I think I would cut the neck off the carboy with a dremel and continue using it as a bucket for holding equipment on brewdays.

Beernik said:

I think I would cut the neck off the carboy with a dremel and continue using it as a bucket for holding equipment on brewdays.

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Clearly that's what the kid had in mind...

Put it in front of a big subwoofer with the hole facing away. Play the brown note at full volume.

Wear hearing protection and an adult diaper, just in case.

passedpawn said:

You might have been able to loop a wire saw around the axle pin in the tongs. They sell them at outdoor stores.

You might have have taken a bimetal jigsaw blade, jambed it into the end of a wood rod, and tried to cut through the axle pin. With that pin busted, you could probably shake the two halves apart, and they would have fallen right out of there. Maybe not now though .

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Where did you get that, i may need them for vacation

I DARE you to put it up on EBAY.....better yet, start a kickstarter to fund the ideas...think college fund.

It's obviously not a carboy. It is a tong holder. Buy more tongs and put them in.

jschein said:

Where did you get that, i may need them for vacation

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there's link in the text. Click it.

View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1435962188.605795.jpg

Or you could try fixed wire loop. Jiggle the base of the tongs into the loop. Hold the base of the tongs down with a stick so the tongs don't pull up and pull the loop up closing the tongs. After removing tongs put them back in until you become proficient as your son has many years of fun in him yet.

Crayfish snare.

Pkrd said:

Crayfish snare.

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my vote

Pkrd said:

Crayfish snare.

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Getting the tongs out with this would be easy, but the hard part is getting the crayfish into the carboy, and then getting him to hold onto the tongs while you pull him out.

^^ Brilliant! ^^

Jwin said:

...Send the kid in after it. His arms may fit...

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Great contest. Whoever has the closest answer should win something!

Acid! and dissolve the spring!

Or maybe you finally have an excuse to put that bottling valve in and while your at it use the extra hole at the bottom to give you an extra entry to push up ward while working from the top. The details are left to the class as homework...

Pkrd said:

Getting the tongs out with this would be easy, but the hard part is getting the crayfish into the carboy, and then getting him to hold onto the tongs while you pull him out.

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Wow! Best answer! ...so far. Thank you for that one!

A hacksaw?

You could send it to the Korean spammers so they have something better to do.

Thanks again for all the great suggestions in this thread! I finally had a few minutes to try again. This time I had more success!!

Here is a badly made time-lapse video of my crusade against the salad tongs:



The solution that finally worked was to thread two wire nooses through a vacuum cleaner handle and loop them around the ends of the tongs. Pulling them together and out of the carboy took some force, so I may have scratched the inside, but I'm still calling this a win!

Awesome!!!

Hahah awesome!!

Yeahh!

passedpawn said:

That's pretty close to a goner.

BUT, make a loop with a hanger that's the same diameter as the mouth of the carboy. Lower it down, get it under the tongs, then bring it up. It might close the tongs enough to pull them back through the carboy mouth.

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I think I'd get frustrated way before this would work but if it does, this guy is a genius!

100% win!

Although I think explosives would have been 150% win ;-)

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!


OMG this has been one of THE wildest rides ever.

Thank you so much.

My kids are both >=20, and I showed them, and they felt so let down that (A) I did not brew when they were younger so that (B) they could *TOTALLY* screw me by doing such things!

Awesome. Just awesome.

This thread just made my day!!

I am happy you got them out, but sad it is over.

This thread is full of WIN!

Put them back in! I'm not ready for this to be over...
Baby crayfish would have fit in there no problem. Let them grow until the fish hook thingy idea would work!
I may do this myself...

Well done!

Amazing... Thanks for taking the time to make the video!

NM.. didn't get to the last page and missed you got them out! good job.