Funny things you've overheard about beer

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thesmithsera said:
Lol, i know people who drank this even though they never drank miller before!:cross:
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A friend is a packaging engineer. He said that the vortex bottle doesn't even work as advertised (not that it matters). The channel grooves are wider at the mouth and get narrower deeper in the bottle, when they should be wider inside and narrower at the mouth if you want that vortex action when pouring. But making them narrower at the mouth isn't possible the way glass bottles are currently made.

The shotgun can is more transparently, obviously about helping you drink faster, but at least it works. I love watching the macros make all these packaging changes to market their beer, because the desperation is so entertaining.

The same friend has a beer company client, looking for yet another packaging gimmick to save their declining market share. I told him the beer should come in prepackaged beer bong funnels. So, stay tuned!
 
heaven forbid they improve what's in the package

called "brand differentiation" ; "our product is better because it comes in different packaging"

like pizza... our crappy pizza tastes as crappy as our crappy competitor's does, but ours is less crappy because it has crappy cheese in the crappy crust!
 
I always find it funny that they claim their beer is better because you can drink it faster? If it was any good, why wouldn't I want to savor it? :confused:
 
GrogNerd said:
heaven forbid they improve what's in the package

called "brand differentiation" ; "our product is better because it comes in different packaging"

like pizza... our crappy pizza tastes as crappy as our crappy competitor's does, but ours is less crappy because it has crappy cheese in the crappy crust!
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NickTheGreat said:
I always find it funny that they claim their beer is better because you can drink it faster? If it was any good, why wouldn't I want to savor it? :confused:
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Sadly it is a classic sign of poor management when the market place shifts. At some point the Stockholders need to be told to STFU it is time to develop a better product before we are bankrupt.

On the other had let them go bankrupt so a craft brewer can get their equipment super cheap! :D
 
Trippel-A said:
A friend is a packaging engineer. He said that the vortex bottle doesn't even work as advertised (not that it matters). The channel grooves are wider at the mouth and get narrower deeper in the bottle, when they should be wider inside and narrower at the mouth if you want that vortex action when pouring. But making them narrower at the mouth isn't possible the way glass bottles are currently made.

The shotgun can is more transparently, obviously about helping you drink faster, but at least it works. I love watching the macros make all these packaging changes to market their beer, because the desperation is so entertaining.

The same friend has a beer company client, looking for yet another packaging gimmick to save their declining market share. I told him the beer should come in prepackaged beer bong funnels. So, stay tuned!
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Miller lite has a new bottle now. Horray

http://www.millercoors.com/News-Cen...te-Reinvents-Miller-Time-with-New-Bottle.aspx

" helping miller lite stand out from the brown bottle sameness of other light beers"

That's funny right there
 
Jhoss said:
My Son and I walked into a restaurant / bar this weekend. Restaurant full, the bar, an enormously long bar had nobody sitting at it. We pulled into the stools. Bartender says - "what'll it be?" I asked "what do you have in the way of "craft" beer? He says "Well, I wouldn't call it "craft" because its brewed by "Budweiser" - its called "Flat Tire".

We had the "Flat Tire" :cross:

Fat Tire, New Belgium Brewery - Ft. Collins Colorado.
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I just had to comment on this one. Until a year or two ago I was a Coors drinker. When I moved to VA in 2006, all my co-workers from CO would rave about this beer and any time we went on a trip to the home office in CO would ask people to bring it back. For 3 years I never understood why anyone would name a beer "Flat Tire"....then it finially came to VA and I saw a sign with the name "Fat Tire"....:smack:
 
I think the liquid cold medicine industry could use a "packaging engineer". Put it in a vortex bottle with a shotgun option and a label that changes color when it's ice cold and it would be a lot easier to swallow.
 
fuzzy2133 said:
Sadly it is a classic sign of poor management when the market place shifts. At some point the Stockholders need to be told to STFU it is time to develop a better product before we are bankrupt.

On the other had let them go bankrupt so a craft brewer can get their equipment super cheap! :D
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Except there are very very few craft brewers who would have use for a 5,000 BBL mash tun, high gravity pressure-yeast and 50,000 BBL fermenters and brite tanks.
 
I did a history of beer as a commodity essay (15+ pages) for a 400 level college course on history and commodities. On wheat ales still being made during that time in the greater Germanic region, it was only noble breweries that were allowed to make whatever they wanted. The Reinheitsgebot only applied to public breweries. I have a book somewhere that I used for my German-side of beer history. Back to the funnies.
 
Ok, give me a break on this one, because I was in college and drinking beer was for getting drunk back then....

So, we're doing our normal Saturday night keg party at the duplex I lived in off campus. We had a kegerator, but for these parties, we would just have the kegs in a trashcan on the front porch to keep people out of the house as much as possible. Anyway, we had a keg of Keystone Light, with another sitting in the kegerator as a reserve. This one obnoxious guy kept complaining that we had the audacity to have Keystone Light for a party, and that we should have gotten "a real beer, like Coors Light!" As the keg gets close to being floated, we start taking up a collection for a second keg. Mr. Obnoxious donates, chiming in with something along the lines of "I'm gonna chip in, but you better not bring back any more crap beer." Having bought many kegs over the course of the semester, we have quite a colleciton of old plastic keg caps in a jar in the kitchen. So, we grab the extra keg of Keystone Light and slap on a Coors Light cap. As we bring it out, we make a big show out of taking the cap off, making sure Mr. Coors Light sees it. And he does, and he says stuff like "damn right! About time we got some real beer up in here." After the keg is tapped, he's first in line to fill his cup. After taking a big chug, he proclaims "hell yeah, now that's what I'm talking about. Finally some damn good beer!! You heathens don't deserve to be drinking this!"

We all about died laughing. He never did figure out why, either.

I am proud to say that I have long since graduated away from the BMC beers...mostly.
 
knelson13A said:
Ok, give me a break on this one, because I was in college and drinking beer was for getting drunk back then....

So, we're doing our normal Saturday night keg party at the duplex I lived in off campus. We had a kegerator, but for these parties, we would just have the kegs in a trashcan on the front porch to keep people out of the house as much as possible. Anyway, we had a keg of Keystone Light, with another sitting in the kegerator as a reserve. This one obnoxious guy kept complaining that we had the audacity to have Keystone Light for a party, and that we should have gotten "a real beer, like Coors Light!" As the keg gets close to being floated, we start taking up a collection for a second keg. Mr. Obnoxious donates, chiming in with something along the lines of "I'm gonna chip in, but you better not bring back any more crap beer." Having bought many kegs over the course of the semester, we have quite a colleciton of old plastic keg caps in a jar in the kitchen. So, we grab the extra keg of Keystone Light and slap on a Coors Light cap. As we bring it out, we make a big show out of taking the cap off, making sure Mr. Coors Light sees it. And he does, and he says stuff like "damn right! About time we got some real beer up in here." After the keg is tapped, he's first in line to fill his cup. After taking a big chug, he proclaims "hell yeah, now that's what I'm talking about. Finally some damn good beer!! You heathens don't deserve to be drinking this!"

We all about died laughing. He never did figure out why, either.

I am proud to say that I have long since graduated away from the BMC beers...mostly.
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Epic. Simply epic. Just goes to show you that most people that are brand loyal are only in it for the "hype". Taste does not matter to most of these people
 
knelson13A said:
Ok, give me a break on this one, because I was in college and drinking beer was for getting drunk back then....

So, we're doing our normal Saturday night keg party at the duplex I lived in off campus. We had a kegerator, but for these parties, we would just have the kegs in a trashcan on the front porch to keep people out of the house as much as possible. Anyway, we had a keg of Keystone Light, with another sitting in the kegerator as a reserve. This one obnoxious guy kept complaining that we had the audacity to have Keystone Light for a party, and that we should have gotten "a real beer, like Coors Light!" As the keg gets close to being floated, we start taking up a collection for a second keg. Mr. Obnoxious donates, chiming in with something along the lines of "I'm gonna chip in, but you better not bring back any more crap beer." Having bought many kegs over the course of the semester, we have quite a colleciton of old plastic keg caps in a jar in the kitchen. So, we grab the extra keg of Keystone Light and slap on a Coors Light cap. As we bring it out, we make a big show out of taking the cap off, making sure Mr. Coors Light sees it. And he does, and he says stuff like "damn right! About time we got some real beer up in here." After the keg is tapped, he's first in line to fill his cup. After taking a big chug, he proclaims "hell yeah, now that's what I'm talking about. Finally some damn good beer!! You heathens don't deserve to be drinking this!"

We all about died laughing. He never did figure out why, either.

I am proud to say that I have long since graduated away from the BMC beers...mostly.
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:off:

Coworker told us the story once about a party he went to in college. (I went to the same college, but he graduated my freshman year). There was a house near campus that was notorious for BIG parties. He showed up to the place one night with a friend, and were the only ones sober when they got there (he was obviously planning on changing that status, but I digress). The hosts met them at the door, saying "Hey, you guys are sober and you have a truck -- the kegs are almost empty. We've passed the hat, and have money for two more. Would you run and get them?" So coworker and his buddy run to the keg shop and get two more kegs of Bud Light, head back to the party. By that time the last two kegs have kicked---and the hat's been passed again. So they drop off the new kegs, load up the empties, grab the money and head back to the keg shop. This time, they picked up kegs of Natty Lite (or some other cheap garbage beer), and replaced the plastic caps with the Bud Light ones from earlier.

Said they ended up making four or five trips to the keg shop, and ended up making a fair amount of money by buying cheap beer and switching the caps.
 
Another off topic, but still something funny I overheard about food. We just had a Natural Grocers open up in town where I live. Although I don't usually shop there because its a bit expensive, I do care about the quality of food I eat, so I shop at Trader Joe's and another local store that is all GMO free.... ANYWAY rambling on......so I conversed with a gentlemen at my work about Natural Grocers, and his comment was, "I was really hoping they'd put in a nice restaurant, like Applebee's." :facepalm:
 
knelson13A said:
Ok, give me a break on this one, because I was in college and drinking beer was for getting drunk back then....

So, we're doing our normal Saturday night keg party at the duplex I lived in off campus. We had a kegerator, but for these parties, we would just have the kegs in a trashcan on the front porch to keep people out of the house as much as possible. Anyway, we had a keg of Keystone Light, with another sitting in the kegerator as a reserve. This one obnoxious guy kept complaining that we had the audacity to have Keystone Light for a party, and that we should have gotten "a real beer, like Coors Light!" As the keg gets close to being floated, we start taking up a collection for a second keg. Mr. Obnoxious donates, chiming in with something along the lines of "I'm gonna chip in, but you better not bring back any more crap beer." Having bought many kegs over the course of the semester, we have quite a colleciton of old plastic keg caps in a jar in the kitchen. So, we grab the extra keg of Keystone Light and slap on a Coors Light cap. As we bring it out, we make a big show out of taking the cap off, making sure Mr. Coors Light sees it. And he does, and he says stuff like "damn right! About time we got some real beer up in here." After the keg is tapped, he's first in line to fill his cup. After taking a big chug, he proclaims "hell yeah, now that's what I'm talking about. Finally some damn good beer!! You heathens don't deserve to be drinking this!"

We all about died laughing. He never did figure out why, either.

I am proud to say that I have long since graduated away from the BMC beers...mostly.
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I pulled a similar trick on my wife with bottled water. Poured two different bottles of water into glasses and even through in a surprise, one glass of tap water. Couldn't tell the difference between bottled water and even said the tap tasted better. To be fair in my home town the water did taste pretty darn good. Water where we live now and where we lived while in the army was crap, just total crap. Btw it was El Paso where I was stationed. Made a believer out of me then for bottled water...
 
bolus14 said:
I think you answered THE question at the end of the first paragraph above. If you're a waitress and not passionate about beer you'd learn the menu for a couple reasons, the most important reason... it makes YOU more money. The second, because it's you're job to educate the customer on what the restaurant is selling. The craft beers will be at least $2 - $3 more per bottle/glass, I have paid $11 for a Chimay Blue in NYC, if you have a 4 top and each person has two drinks, that's $8 - $12 on the final bill. For a 15% tip that's an extra $1.20 - $1.80 just for that table, knowing my friends and those who drink craft beer, we tend to also be better tippers so you might get better than 15%. If you don't know the beer list and I have to go to the bar myself, I personally will tip less, tips are earned not required!
The restaurant would be better off spending the training time, because I'm 100% sure their markup on craft beer would more than cover the "one-time" training expense. The more craft beer they're moving the higher their profits. If the waiter/waitresses are happy they'll stay longer and the restaurant has less turnover, equals less training time.
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I don't even know if it's a matter of being passionate about beer. It's simply that when it's your job to sell something, you should at least know the name of the product you're selling. They don't have to be able to describe how it tastes and the differences between them. Just know what it is you're selling.
 
I used to tour in a rock band, and people were always offering to buy us drinks. We were in cincy Ohio, and this dude walks up to me after our set and goes "Yoooo you want diesel or unleaded, BRO?" I had no idea what he was talking about, I didn't know if he was trying to sell me other "things," or if I was about to get jumped, I was clueless. He saw my confusion, and said "you want the heavy diesel stuff, Budweiser, or the unleaded stuff, bud light?" Far be it from me to turn down a complementary beverage, especially on a touring musician budget (aka broke), so I said "diesel." He was psyched.
 
uatuba said:
We once got a guy "drunk" when we were in high school...on O'Doul's.
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We got someone high in a hookah bar one time.

NuclearRich said:
Well actually.....
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I wonder how much you'd have to drink and how fast to get drunk (even a high-school kid) on NA...Google says .4%, so about a 12-pack to equal a 5% beer. I wonder how quickly a high-schooler could down a case...
 
tennesseean_87 said:
I wonder how much you'd have to drink and how fast to get drunk (even a high-school kid) on NA...Google says .4%, so about a 12-pack to equal a 5% beer. I wonder how quickly a high-schooler could down a case...
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We tried this in the Middle East one time you can't drink them fast enough to catch a buzz. Like 6 of my buddies tried it with no winners.
 
flyingfinbar said:
I used to tour in a rock band, and people were always offering to buy us drinks. We were in cincy Ohio, and this dude walks up to me after our set and goes "Yoooo you want diesel or unleaded, BRO?" I had no idea what he was talking about, I didn't know if he was trying to sell me other "things," or if I was about to get jumped, I was clueless. He saw my confusion, and said "you want the heavy diesel stuff, Budweiser, or the unleaded stuff, bud light?" Far be it from me to turn down a complementary beverage, especially on a touring musician budget (aka broke), so I said "diesel." He was psyched.
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We'd call Budweiser "Diesel" in college. It seemed funny at the time, but like a lot of things we did, seems really stupid, now. :drunk:
 
New Years Eve, 1990, in transit across the Atlantic on our way to Desert Storm, command broke out O'Douls and limited 2 each to the crew

I'm guessing they thought 3 would disrupt our battle-readiness

I passed mine along to a shipmate. so the average was 2 each
 
CGVT said:
Leaded (Bud) Unleaded (some form of light beer)
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we always just said Bud & Bud Light. now's its Bud or Bud Heavy. that is what BMC did to 'Mrca.

Keith66 said:
JoeyChopps, GrogNerd, and all the rest of you who volunteered to risk your life for my freedom, THANK YOU!!! :mug:
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big ditto!
GrogNerd said:
and thank you for enjoying that freedom! :mug:
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I do every day and remember why I can every day!
 
Grogg, chops, y'all got cheated. Our unit got 1, yes that's right 1, "real" beer a piece during the Super Bowl if you were able to somehow watch it. That was the hard part though.
 
jhoneycutt said:
Grogg, chops, y'all got cheated. Our unit got 1, yes that's right 1, "real" beer a piece during the Super Bowl if you were able to somehow watch it. That was the hard part though.
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we were floating around in the Gulf during the Super Bowl (in fact, had been floating since departing Charleston Dec 30th and would not stop floating until Mar 15th. 75 days underway)

AFR/TS was broadcasting the game, picked up by the USS Roosevelt, who then radioed updates to the combat air patrols. we listened in on those updates

some assknob thought it was funny to yell "it's GOOD!" over the air after Norwood's failed FG attempt
 
jtbeachbum said:
I got a laugh from hearing Colin Cowherd on ESPN Radio call Natty Light a craft brew yesterday. Lol.
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I'd like to hear anybody defend that statement
 

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