I want to punch a baby....

Or stab a puppy in the eye with a soldering iron....

F*cking drama in my boot camp class... Stupid crap... I am however ready to fight tooth and nail over it...

Then after dealing with that bullsh*t, the stupid soccer mom / dumb ***** in front of me in Kroger rang up, I sh*t you not, a $707 bill... After the Kroger Plus card, it was only $652...

That is however not the issue...

The manager told her about the "Free Leftover Easter Sh*t" basket in the next aisle... So she meanders over there with her tricycle motor and proceeds to spend the next 5 minutes pillaging the cart like a Somali pirate on a cargo ship... After the third time the cashier tries to get her to pay, I let out a loud whistle and she finally saunters over to pay...

Well she gets to the pin-pad and asks AGAIN how to enter her K.P. ID without the card... Then her credit card won't go through... Then she points out "Oh you've all been waiting on me?"

NO YOU STUPID C*NT!! I ENJOY STANDING IN THE CHECKOUT AISLE, WITH MY THUMB IN MY ASS AT 9PM AFTER A SH*TTY DAY AT WORK, A SH*TTY HOUR AND A HALF WORKOUT, WHILE SOME SELFISH WHORE PILFERS FOR FREE SH*T AFTER RACKING UP A GROCERY BILL THAT COSTS MORE THAN HALF MY MORTGAGE!!!

I hope she dies in a fire tomorrow....

So why do you want to punch a baby?

I'm not sure baby punching is your best course of action here...

At least it wasen't her food stamp card. I swear to God that everytime I'm at the Grocery store the person paying in front me is paying with a Lone Star card IE free groceries. Half this State must get it. One lady I saw in the parking lot loading her groceries into her Escalade. If you can't afford groceries why the **** do you have an Escalade.

Half your mortgage? That's it, I'm moving to Georgia.

Brewer_Steve said:

So why do you want to punch a baby?

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DeathBrewer said:

I'm not sure baby punching is your best course of action here...

Click to expand...

So I should stab the puppy in the eye?

You need to blow up some anvils. I hear it's very cathartic.

You need to get yourself one of those "puppy mills" that MNbugeater is building. You could throw puppies in there one after another. You probably want to open your gap so the skulls don't just spin though...........

Sorry for being drastic.. It was the worst thing I could think of at the moment...

I just had a really bad end to a bad day...

The boot camp class is really the catalyst for all of this... The Kroger ***** was just the five gallons of gas added to the tire....

FWIW, Old Dominion Oak Barrel Stout ain't half bad... Especially 4 bottles in...

step back, count to 10. take some deep breaths. then put on your combat boots and take it out on a cat instead. You'll feel much better, and I'll feel good knowing you've done it.

ROTF...

I have two cats and a dog...


Now if someone has a guinea pig......

-MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-

If I were in the same predicament and had had a homebrew or two, I probably would have just said "excuse me" and walked right past everyone with my goods and not stopped until I was in my car.

Most likely I would have scooped up a Snickers Bar, some Orbit gum and a TV Guide on the way out too.

"Ya bastids wasted enough of my time...I'm taking what's owed me...good day"

Hmmm...

I am liking that style...

+1 on jacking up a cat instead of a baby or puppy...

PintOfBitter said:

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ROTFLMAO...

Thank you, I needed that....

shecky said:

Half your mortgage? That's it, I'm moving to Georgia.

Click to expand...

I don't have a mortgage...

Duckfoot said:

ROTFLMAO...

Thank you, I needed that....

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glad to be of service

I saw tie slabs of meat to the collars of the cats, bind their tails together, throw them over a clothesline, and let the dog try and get the meat.

Thanks PoB !
That caption was one of the funniest things I've seen all week. I just wish it was beer that was trying to come out of my nose instead of hot coffee.

I've stabbed puppies in the eye for much less my friend. I will not judge you.

STAB ON!

sissy's punch... men SHAKE...




i kid, i kid.

You are taking the wrong class.

Dude, this is like my life every day. PEOPLE ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDD!

It drives me nuts! I just want to move to some small island and live off the land away from these people. They don't pay attention, they're on the cell phones while driving (stopping at non existent stop signs), asking stupid questions, consuming food in mass quantities just to consume......the list goes on and on. And there's no stopping them!!! They just continue to consume and breed and consume and breed and the world gets dumber and dumber......AGGGGHHH!!!!

: kicks the nearest child holding a small puppy :

TxBrew said:

At least it wasen't her food stamp card. I swear to God that everytime I'm at the Grocery store the person paying in front me is paying with a Lone Star card IE free groceries. Half this State must get it. One lady I saw in the parking lot loading her groceries into her Escalade. If you can't afford groceries why the **** do you have an Escalade.

Click to expand...

I used to see that all time when worked in a grocery store. One guy came up to me and asked me for some ground round, because "You can't buy dog food with food stamps, and my dog's gotta eat, too." Yikes.

It's time for all of you to sit down with a few homebrewskees and watch the movie Idiocracy.


You can thank me later.

Brawndo - it's got what plants crave!

You cannot escape stupid people.... they are everywhere! I'm sure many of you have ran into people when standing in line at an ATM and it seems they are trying to process a home loan on a it. C'mon how long does it take to use an ATM.!!!! I live next to Memphis and it seems like stupid more abundant around here. Drives me crazy sometimes.

Hey, just think whut us stupid peeple might think of you, OK?

Who the F has time to figure out a grocery line or silly coupon with all that candy laying around? And hey, don't you know I'm on the 50 pounds in two days weight loss program?



eight

pizzaman said:

It's time for all of you to sit down with a few homebrewskees and watch the movie Idiocracy.


You can thank me later.

Click to expand...

I fast fowarded through most of the movie, it was reaaally a bad movie...but for some reason I keep thinking about it when I see stupid people ("I see dumb people. They're everywhere, but they don't know they're dumb")

I'm sure people are going to look at me crosseyed because this is a dumb thing to get fired up about but I can't f'in stand it when you're on a plane, you land... taxi up to the gate and....

waaaait....

waaaaaaaaaaaaait for it....

waaaaaaaaaait.....

DING!! (pilot turning off the seatbelt sign) QUICK EVERYONE STANDUP!!!!! AS FAST AS YOU CAN OR YOU'LL BE TRAPPED ON THE PLANE FOREVER AND EVER!!!!

WTF!?!?

Where are these f'in people going??? Unfortunately I have to travel for work and I'm a window seat guy so I can lean against the window and sleep... and it never fails... we land and it's like a f'in contest who can stand up the fastest.... again... WHERE THE F DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!?!? 'cause guess what there Mr. Speedy McStandsupalot... everyone in f'in front of you is getting off the f'in plane before you ANYWAY so take a pill and relax for 22.3 more seconds.

(I know... I'm a f;in pyscho... but it pisses me off.... tot he point where I actually say, kinda loud, "quick!! everyone stand up and... just... stand there!!")

Someone give that man a baby!!

Cape Brewing said:

Where are these f'in people going???

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Normally by the end of the trip I'm ready to stretch my legs a little...I don't care if I'm not going anywhere, I just want to stand up. THe ones that really get to me are the ones who try to unload the aluminum cattle cars from the rear forward-- seriously-- wait your turn, don't unload till the row in front of you is moving up the aisle (and help those with baggage in the bins above you with theirs while you're standing up stretching your legs )

I flew to the Philippines once...that was the worst flight ever. No one could form a line, it was everyone budging for their spot until it was a big ball of mayhem. Same thing in the plane when we got off, push...shove...rush...ugh, I wanted to yell "sit the **** down!" and probably could have gotten away with it, as I was the largest person on the plane.

But, ya know, I'm a nice guy

Oh man, traveling on airplanes and me just don't agree. I do it for work occasionally, but I'm thankful it's just a few times a year. My pet peave is the dickheads who can't figure out how to put their carry-on bags in the overhead compartment.

I think their brain works like this:

1. Oh, look 15C...that's my seat.
2. Put my bose noise-cancelling headphones on the seat and my outdated cordoroy jacket on top of someone else's bag in the overhead.
3. Try to fit my carry-on in the overhead, but keep putting it in with the wheels in the back...instead of the front like the damn sign indicates.
4. Finally give up, because the stupid engineers don't know how to make a plane. Turn my bag SIDEWAYS so that it takes up 2/3 of the space in the overhead. PERFECT!
5. Oh, hello there 122 other passengers behind me! We're you all waiting for my fatass to figure out how not to put my bag up there correctly???
6. Sit down in the wrong seat and/or sit on my own headphones.

Second only to the fat guy asleep in the seat next to me that breathes his stank breaf and taints the area in a 3ft radius around his rotten death breathing mouth!

I hate the people that IMMEDIATELY need to recline their seat when they sit down. No one gives a flying **** that someone is sitting behind them. You're crushing my knees, goat-****er!

Here ya go.

Punch The Babies - The Game Homepage

Ummm, knock em out.

Loving all these airplane posts. I used to travel weekly for work, and I feel the paint. Especially the people in the back trying to get out first. Did you miss elementary school?? WAIT YOUR GD TURN! I was an aisle guy myself and admit I jump up quick on the ding cause I need to stretch my legs. It's either me or the guy across from me that gets the piece of aisle while waiting 45 days to start dismissing the plane. It's gonna be me.

GilaMinumBeer said:

Here ya go.

Punch The Babies - The Game Homepage

Ummm, knock em out.

Click to expand...

Whew!! 167 babies

jmulligan said:

I hate the people that IMMEDIATELY need to recline their seat when they sit down. No one gives a flying **** that someone is sitting behind them. You're crushing my knees, goat-****er!

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I always recline my seat but I check what is behind me. Sometimes it's one of those little demon mini-humans that likes to kick you in the back the whole plane ride. Usually one unshaven look from me with my long hair will make them stop

DeathBrewer said:

I always recline my seat but I check what is behind me. Sometimes it's one of those little demon mini-humans that likes to kick you in the back the whole plane ride. Usually one unshaven look from me with my long hair will make them stop

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Well thank you for at least checking! If it's a shorter person, go to town! I'm 5'9" and my knees are just about touching the seat in front of me the whole time (without it reclined). I think I have abnormally long thighs and stump calves.

Oh, and I have a nephew I'd like you to terrorize a bit, please.