Funny things you've overheard about beer

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Where do some people think alcohol comes from, a mine, tooth fairy , or byproduct of candy corn manufacturing


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I tried to use the dark bottles but they are hard to fill when you can't see the liquid level
 
My FIL says that his dad made the best beer...

By adding a bottle of vodka to every batch!

I had a buddy (RIP) who always insisted that a bottle of Jack had to be added to every batch to get it "started". I spent years trying to explain it to him. Never did.
 
I have a buddy who is really not good at trying new things be it music, food or beverage. Well he says that he likes mead. He has only tried one kind and only likes it because he thinks vikings are cool {they are} he was asking me what kind of mead I wanna make. I said when the blackberries get ripe I would love to pick some for a melomel and explained that is a fruit mead. He looked at me in disgust a said "fruit in mead?!?! That sounds really really weird!" I asked why and he said "uhhhh.... I don't know, because I have never had it." I told him he should try it and he said "hmmm maybe, I might just stick to the regular stuff though."
 
I have a buddy who is really not good at trying new things be it music, food or beverage. Well he says that he likes mead. He has only tried one kind and only likes it because he thinks vikings are cool {they are} he was asking me what kind of mead I wanna make. I said when the blackberries get ripe I would love to pick some for a melomel and explained that is a fruit mead. He looked at me in disgust a said "fruit in mead?!?! That sounds really really weird!" I asked why and he said "uhhhh.... I don't know, because I have never had it." I told him he should try it and he said "hmmm maybe, I might just stick to the regular stuff though."

Hahahaha - fermented fruit is weird... But fermenting plain honey is normal! I don't get that one either :D
 
I finally had a couple of funny things happen this past weekend. First, I saw this at the restaurant I went to Friday night.

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It seems Chimay, Corsendonk, Duvel, and Rochefort aren't "Belgian beers," but Blue Moon is. Also, the Kentucky Bourbon Ale has become a lager. It wasn't all bad, though. I ordered a Duvel and they actually have the Duvel glass available.


Then, after looking at the draft options (Bud Light, Michelob, Sam Adams, Shock Top, etc.), I had the following exchange with a bartender while out to eat on Sunday:

Me: "What do you have in bottles?"

BT: "Just name something."

Me: "Do you have any hefeweizens?"

BT: "Normal beers..."

Me: "I'll take a Shock Top."
 
Yesterday at a family reunion my cousins tried my black IPA and said "it wasn't hoppy", 13 oz of hops with 9 coming post boil. And that it tasted "dark"

At least they tried it


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Thought this was pretty funny... the discrepancy between the Brewery's description and the reviewer haha.

DoubleIPA.png
 
Yesterday at a family reunion my cousins tried my black IPA and said "it wasn't hoppy", 13 oz of hops with 9 coming post boil. And that it tasted "dark"


I generally get the exact opposite reaction from family. Anything beyond the realm of light American lager is considered an IPA for my dad. No joke, a couple of weeks ago he called Stella Artios an IPA.
 
I gotta go with my all time favorite (which has happened multiple times)

"I made a stout, want to try one?" -Walzenbrew
"Is it dark or light beer?" -them
"Dark" - Walzenbrew
"No thanks, I don't like hoppy or bitter" -them

More for me I guess!
 
Well to be fair they then called my grapefruit pale ale with 3 oz of hops way hoppy and bitter.

Also compared my black IPA to shock top


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I recently had a new chef start in our kitchen. Of course some good ice breaker talk is talking about beer. I asked him about a few breweries they had in st. Louis and he knew nothing about their beer. Then he said something like .. o wild blue??.I love that one.

Me- oh the really sweet blueberry shizz?
Him-yup. Its so good.
Me- I bet you love Smirnoff too. That's not beer to me
Him- I bet you love that Smirnoff shiz
Me. --uh nope

At this point he had gained all the attention of my co chefs .
Co workers- he's a home brewer!!!
Me-don't talk to me about beer
Him-i really don't drink beer.I'm more of a liquor drinker.

It took all I had to keep from giving him a like slap in the face.
Its funny to me how people in the culinary world still have no taste. You would think they would be actually interested in the finer things in life
 
I recently had a new chef start in our kitchen. Of course some good ice breaker talk is talking about beer. I asked him about a few breweries they had in st. Louis and he knew nothing about their beer. Then he said something like .. o wild blue??.I love that one.

Me- oh the really sweet blueberry shizz?
Him-yup. Its so good.
Me- I bet you love Smirnoff too. That's not beer to me
Him- I bet you love that Smirnoff shiz
Me. --uh nope

At this point he had gained all the attention of my co chefs .
Co workers- he's a home brewer!!!
Me-don't talk to me about beer
Him-i really don't drink beer.I'm more of a liquor drinker.

It took all I had to keep from giving him a like slap in the face.
Its funny to me how people in the culinary world still have no taste. You would think they would be actually interested in the finer things in life

That is surprising to hear, but understandable. I have seen some horrific pairing food/drink suggestions on menus "from the Chef".
 
Shocktop...i just cringed. I hate that stuff. Maybe it's just me.


Nope, it's definitely not just you. I visited my old man this weekend and the choices were Bud Light Lime or Shock Top. So I tried Shock Top for the first time. It wasn't easy to choke down. When I had only had 1/2 the bottle after an hour, I just poured the rest down the sink and grabbed some iced tea.

Still better than Bud Light Lime.
 
Thought this was pretty funny... the discrepancy between the Brewery's description and the reviewer haha.

Not familiar with that beer, but I see stupid reviews all the time. Recently, for instance, at a brewfest someone was drinking my porter… 16P (1.065 SG) OG, 4.5P (1.018 SG) FG… Both OG and SG are slightly greater than the GABF guidelines for Robust Porter… this guy described it as "watery"… HUH? Had he just binged on Imp Stouts? That's the only explanation I can think of… See crap like that all the time
 
That is surprising to hear, but understandable. I have seen some horrific pairing food/drink suggestions on menus "from the Chef".

Yea I'll take the sommelier recommendations. Is it bad when even the sommelier knows that the beer draft equipment needs to be cleaned?

I had a short conversation with a sommelier (yes he got bored with wine and started drinking craft beer) about beer pairings once and he would not make any suggestions until the restaurant he worked for cleaned or replaced the draft equipment. :eek:
 
Yea I'll take the sommelier recommendations. Is it bad when even the sommelier knows that the beer draft equipment needs to be cleaned?

I had a short conversation with a sommelier (yes he got bored with wine and started drinking craft beer) about beer pairings once and he would not make any suggestions until the restaurant he worked for cleaned or replaced the draft equipment. :eek:

Yikes!
 
Yea I'll take the sommelier recommendations. Is it bad when even the sommelier knows that the beer draft equipment needs to be cleaned?

I had a short conversation with a sommelier (yes he got bored with wine and started drinking craft beer) about beer pairings once and he would not make any suggestions until the restaurant he worked for cleaned or replaced the draft equipment. :eek:
Someone tell Diogenes he can put away his lamp; we've found an honest man.
 
While I do agree that it's funny, at one point in my beer life I preferred Bud Light over Coors Light because "it has so much more flavor".
For those of us who cut our teeth on "domestics" one could definitely tell the difference amongst the various American lagers, light or otherwise.

I once read a thread on another "home-brew" forum where the OP asked which was better in terms of cheap beer when funds were tight: Pabst or Shlitz. As I read through the thread all I could think of was Wow! Craft beer has been around long enough so that there is an entire new era of American beer drinkers who never tasted "the other stuff". Or so they claimed. I thought hipsters preferred PBR?

My Bud Light swilling neighbor believes "Light" refers to the color and anything that doesn't say that is a "dark" beer.
At one point in time, it did. The ABV of Bud Lite is not too far off from the "national" beers typically found around the world even though 5% is the most common. Look at the number of British ales that fall into the mid-to-low 4.X% range.

America is probably the only country where an ABV of 5.4/5.5% can be considered "session" and 5% "lawnmower". German beers are also around 5%.

And yes, I am aware that some European beers can get up into the teens in terms of ABV.

I was at a bar yesterday and the lady asked the waitress if she had Crispin. She said no, but what is it like so I can make a suggestion. The lady said it is like blue moonand her friend said no it is more like white wine. After the waitress suggested a hoegarrden (sp? ) she said no. I was right next to them and I mentioned that Crispin is a hard cider. The waitress listed their ciders and she ordered a Bud light.
If you have ever worked in a restaurant/bar then you heard this conversation nightly.

There are plenty of bars in KC that put their "Domestics" on special, but Boulevard isn't part of the 'special'. How much more domestic can you get than 4 blocks down the street??

I got the waitress to agree with me that it should be called "Cheap Domestics Special". :D
I remember when Boulevard was in Lawerence, KS. They had a stout so dark that when they served it to you a Mag Lite was used to prove that "no light could penetrate".

I've always found that a bit goofy as well. Obviously some beers pour with more head than others, and that is worth reporting, but a ton of factors go into how much head you get. Glass shape and condition, temperature, how you pour, etc etc etc. I think it would be more honest to say that a beer has "lots of head" or "not much head" rather than a numerical measurement.
The typical bar is a place for drinking, not marveling over your beer like you would to approve a sample pour of wine. Nearly all bartenders pour in such a way as to prevent head from forming.

Its funny how in the UK most people think Carling Black Label is tasteless p!ss but something exotic like Coors or Budweiser is good beer. Grass is always greener :)
Trust me, Americans think the same thing in the U.S.

You would think they would be actually interested in the finer things in life
Well, despite the craft beer "explosion" I think it is safe to say that most Americans still view wine, scotch, and perhaps Irish whiskey as the finer things in life.

I have been in the restaurant biz for 16 years. It is perhaps the only industry in the U.S. where someone with no experience, no college degree, a police record, being an "aspiring" musician, is a gang member, has an open drug/alcohol habit, and the list goes on can gain employment.

...until the restaurant he worked for cleaned or replaced the draft equipment. :eek:
This problem is more common than you think.
 
I have been in the restaurant biz for 16 years. It is perhaps the only industry in the U.S. where someone with no experience, no college degree, a police record, being an "aspiring" musician, is a gang member, has an open drug/alcohol habit, and the list goes on can gain employment.

I'm not too certain of US hiring guidelines vs those in the great white north, but let's give my resume a shot.

-Stagehand (local Roadie, doesn't travel)
-Warehouse employee
-Lumber yard forklift operator
-Moving company

Perhaps I should aspire to greater things in life.
 
While I do agree that it's funny, at one point in my beer life I preferred Bud Light over Coors Light because "it has so much more flavor". We have to start somewhere, and craft brews arent pushed to the masses, especially in Utah i'd imagine (not a poke, but a serious statement based on what i've heard about the alcohol laws there - plus, you just said tapless tap room :) ).

I think it's funny to assume that there *wouldn't* be a difference between Bud Light and Coors Light. Bud Light IS better than Coors Light, and Miller Light is better than both of them. They have more flavor than Coors Light, which is watery.
 
I recently had a new chef start in our kitchen. Of course some good ice breaker talk is talking about beer. I asked him about a few breweries they had in st. Louis and he knew nothing about their beer. Then he said something like .. o wild blue??.I love that one.

Me- oh the really sweet blueberry shizz?
Him-yup. Its so good.
Me- I bet you love Smirnoff too. That's not beer to me
Him- I bet you love that Smirnoff shiz
Me. --uh nope

At this point he had gained all the attention of my co chefs .
Co workers- he's a home brewer!!!
Me-don't talk to me about beer
Him-i really don't drink beer.I'm more of a liquor drinker.

It took all I had to keep from giving him a like slap in the face.
Its funny to me how people in the culinary world still have no taste. You would think they would be actually interested in the finer things in life

Yes, because if someone doesn't like what you like, they clearly have no taste. He SHOULD have been slapped in the face.
 
For those of us who cut our teeth on "domestics" one could definitely tell the difference amongst the various American lagers, light or otherwise.

I once read a thread on another "home-brew" forum where the OP asked which was better in terms of cheap beer when funds were tight: Pabst or Shlitz. As I read through the thread all I could think of was Wow! Craft beer has been around long enough so that there is an entire new era of American beer drinkers who never tasted "the other stuff". Or so they claimed. I thought hipsters preferred PBR?

"Hipsters" aside, there is a difference in beers. It's not like there is a factory that pumps out gallons of the same stuff and then labels it Bud or PBR. They are actually different beers.

I remember Schlitz having a sharper, almost tangy taste. PBR is sweet and smooth. And I am not a "hipster." It's just that PBR tastes like beer.
 
"Hipsters" aside, there is a difference in beers. It's not like there is a factory that pumps out gallons of the same stuff and then labels it Bud or PBR. They are actually different beers.



I remember Schlitz having a sharper, almost tangy taste. PBR is sweet and smooth. And I am not a "hipster." It's just that PBR tastes like beer.


There may not be such a factory, but there HAS to be a factory pumping out "headache inducing additive" that
all of the BMC breweries use. I can't drink even one without getting a headache.


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There may not be such a factory, but there HAS to be a factory pumping out "headache inducing additive" that
all of the BMC breweries use. I can't drink even one without getting a headache.


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You get it from all of the "BMC" beers? From all commercial beers? Probably a sensitivity to something.
 
I think the funniest thing that I have ever heard about beer, is all the home brewers that claim they can make a way better beer than any BMC.

Just try making 3 batches of the same beer on 3 consecutive days, then do a taste test. Now, try brewing one in St Louis, one in Fairfield, and one in Jacksonville..... Still think your "all that"?

It's time to give credit where credit is due! Even if BMC isn't your thing, you have to admit they do an amazing thing!

I'm not a fan of stouts, but I don't go around ripping on award winning stout brewers, saying they suck, just because I don't care for the style they brew.

The truth is that the vast majority of people would pick a BMC beer over 99% of all home brewers best efforts.

I make some really good beers, (and ciders, and meads, for that matter) but I will never brew a beer that will draw the mass appeal that Coors Lite does. If you really can brew that good and consistent a brew, WHY are you not a brew master some where other than your garage?

:beard::beard::beard: I'm just saying...
 
There may not be such a factory, but there HAS to be a factory pumping out "headache inducing additive" that
all of the BMC breweries use. I can't drink even one without getting a headache.


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Most BMC beers contain formaldehyde to preserve it, but this can also cause headaches. And before anyone blows up on me, look it up!
 
You get it from all of the "BMC" beers? From all commercial beers? Probably a sensitivity to something.


Every. Single. One. I'm talking about the actual BMC beers (light, heavy, ice, with "lime") and not the craft style beers that they've bought out...and I'm not the only person that has this problem. Now I will fully admit that I haven't tried all of them, so there may be one out there that doesn't have this mystery chemical (maybe it is formaldehyde). I'm pretty sure it's some sort of preservative at high levels, because I do have a sensitivity to them (and can't eat most Chinese food as a result, due to the massive amount of MSG). That's definitely funny in a "funny business" sort of way.

For me, a lot of wheat beers do this as well, whether micro or home brewed. I guess it's a good thing I don't like BMC or wheat beers.


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Every. Single. One. I'm talking about the actual BMC beers (light, heavy, ice, with "lime") and not the craft style beers that they've bought out...and I'm not the only person that has this problem. Now I will fully admit that I haven't tried all of them, so there may be one out there that doesn't have this mystery chemical (maybe it is formaldehyde). I'm pretty sure it's some sort of preservative at high levels, because I do have a sensitivity to them (and can't eat most Chinese food as a result, due to the massive amount of MSG). That's definitely funny in a "funny business" sort of way.

For me, a lot of wheat beers do this as well, whether micro or home brewed. I guess it's a good thing I don't like BMC or wheat beers.


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If you are sensitive to MSG then you may be sensitive to some yeasts including champagne yeasts, sulphites, autolysed yeast, and hydrolysed vegetable proteins. More and more Chinese restaurants are advertising "NO MSG".
I suffered cluster headaches for 28 years.
 
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