The coming brewpocalypse

Fellow brewers, we knew this day would come. We have been preparing for this day for centuries, and soon it will be time to once again save humanity:

http://ecoscraps.com/2008/04/13/beer-shortages-may-be-coming-due-to-climate-change/

Obviously no research behind it. The hop shortage has nothing to do with growing conditions and malting barley gets pushed out by more profitable crops or disease.

I'm prepared. 1/2 metric ton of Cascade, 80 tons of Pale, 20 tons of Vienna, and 1/2 ton of Crystal 10L. That along with millions of rounds of ammo.

Plenty of Haus Ale for all.

Bring on the zombies!

Lies spread by the wine industry!

And... big oil, somehow.

Time to brew more.

EdWort said:

Bring on the zombies!

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You had to do it huh?

When are you planting 100 apple trees around the brew haus?

Meh...Give me a shotgun (for the zombies) Some water and yeast, I'll find something to make me some beer with damnabit!!!!

Bring it on!!! I'm ready to declare myself the Bringer of the Sacred Barley Water...as long as a village can pay me a tribute involving Nubile Females, then the will get their brew!!!!

(even if I have to drink a porter and piss out corona,,,they will get some fizzy yellow stuff!)

I am druck btw!

Nothing can stop me!!!!! BWAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA!!!!!

This is bunk if you ask me.

You'll get my hops-when you pry them from my cold dead fermenter.

My fear isn't of a shortage of malted barley and hops(cause that's all B.S. anyway) but of zombies, so get me a homebrew so i can relax and enjoy my death or undeath. Whatever it may be.

EdWort said:

I'm prepared. 1/2 metric ton of Cascade, 80 tons of Pale, 20 tons of Vienna, and 1/2 ton of Crystal 10L. That along with millions of rounds of ammo.

Plenty of Haus Ale for all.

Bring on the zombies!

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What? No Apple Juice?

rcb said:

My fear isn't of a shortage of malted barley and hops(cause that's all B.S. anyway) but of zombies, so get me a homebrew so i can relax and enjoy my death or undeath. Whatever it may be.

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I've heard when you are undead-everything tastes like Coors Light. No wonder Zombies are pissed off.

Orpheus said:

Fellow brewers, we knew this day would come. We have been preparing for this day for centuries, and soon it will be time to once again save humanity

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We are the chosen who keep alive the ancient arts so that they may rise again as the phoenix from the ashes left behind by the BMC swillers. Together we shall unite an army of reformed palates under the leadership of zymurgist generals. We'll cross the land sowing and slaying until all bow before our mighty brew.

Now I am become beer, destroyer of sobriety. :rockin:

EdWort said:

I'm prepared. 1/2 metric ton of Cascade, 80 tons of Pale, 20 tons of Vienna, and 1/2 ton of Crystal 10L. That along with millions of rounds of ammo.

Plenty of Haus Ale for all.

Bring on the zombies!

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and where do you store all that grainy goodness?

bad coffee said:

and where do you store all that grainy goodness?

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Why in my temperature controlled underground bunker with hop and apple tree orchard.

After we all become zombified, the beer will be brewed from flesh and brains.

I'm almost ready. Getting there. Just need to get off the grid

We shall found a new city and name it EACopolis. We shall build a barrier around it to protect us from the zombie hordes. We will teach the zombies to grow grain and hops and they can barter with us for human brains. Each week we shall put before 120 citizens two beers: Olympia and Arrogant Bastard. Those who choose the Olympia shall be cast out amongst the zombies in sacrifice. Sounds like a fair swap.