Stealthcruiser
Well-Known Member
The Wife wanted a new watch, and I told her she didn't need one, 'cause there's a clock on back of the stove..............
Said in jest, SWMBO not amused
- Thread starter Hophunter
- Start date
Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:
Nawww...just stupid and horny..no excuses...just love women. The worst one I ever had was twice as much fun as you guys!!
For me, the worst was bipolar.
Freak on the streets AND in the sheets, so it was lose/win.
I have something similar with this.
My wife always has her phone on silent so she never answers it. I secretly changed her voicemail to say to call my number in the event that its important and my wife doesn't answer. But I always ask her, "why do I even pay for your phone" to which I get the response "why do I even put out for you". So naturally I drop it every time.
drainbamage
Keep HBT weird.
Proper response to her (for this thread): "You don't."
Of course, that may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Use at your own risk.
It's bound to happen eventually. May as well have a few laughs before it does.
We're going on 10 years now and doing pretty well in that department. Not as much as before we were married of course but according to everyone else I talk to about it we must be doing pretty darn good. Best not to ruin it.
lol!!!
SupervisingChildren
Well-Known Member
My fiancee said she felt like a moose when she was pregnant with our first born. I told her "It's ok, 'cus you're a momma moose." I got the look of death and didn't know why at the time...
gratus fermentatio
Well-Known Member
Dude, the "Confession Time" thread is down the hall in the 'General Techniques' section....
wtaylor3
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2013
- Messages
- 707
- Reaction score
- 101
To participate in this thread, I first must land a SWMBO...
I'm thinking the fact that you don't have an swmbo might be linked to a story that tops all of ours haha
While treadmill shopping with my wife, she commented about one model "it seems like it's too narrow". Without thinking first, I replied "Honey, the more time you spend on it, the less that will be an issue". One more repeat of the lesson NOT learned "think twice before saying nothing"
hunter_le five
Sheriff Underscore
To participate in this thread, I first must land a SWMBO...
Memorize some of the awesome zingers in this thread, and you'll be sure to land one in no time.
Wait, no, the opposite.
I recently watched my FIL masterfully Dad joke with my 4 yo niece, which got eyerolls from SWMBO and SIL.
Kid: I'm hungry!
FIL: Hi, hungry! I'm Grandpa!
Kid: No, I'm hungry!
FIL: Hi, hungry! I'm still Grandpa!
Kid: No! My name's not hungry!
FIL: Hi, not hungry! I'm still Grandpa!
Kid: I'm hungry!
FIL: Hi, hungry! I'm Grandpa!
Kid: No, I'm hungry!
FIL: Hi, hungry! I'm still Grandpa!
Kid: No! My name's not hungry!
FIL: Hi, not hungry! I'm still Grandpa!
drainbamage
Keep HBT weird.
If this isn't a Coral meme, it should be.
Told SWMBO we would call the next birth "calving season," she replied "But I'm a cat..."
***** joke, refrained...
slym2none
"Lazy extract brewer."
If being a loser is a topper of a story, then so be it.
Silentdrinker
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2014
- Messages
- 409
- Reaction score
- 184
To participate in this thread, I first must land a SWMBO...
Just troll your mom and report back with the reactions.
slym2none
"Lazy extract brewer."
Dude. That's pretty ****ed up right there.
I did that once.
Wife: "I think I'll buy some clothes the next size smaller."
Me: "It's good to set a goal to shoot for."
Even though that was her exact reasoning for buying smaller clothes, I still got the stink-eye for actually saying it.
AkBrew907
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2015
- Messages
- 621
- Reaction score
- 196
To participate in this thread, I first must land a SWMBO...
Off day?
Cheer up little camper
Why has no one addressed the fact that this guy got his wife pregnant again so fast?! is that even possible to birth another baby 6.5 months after the first?
Me thinks you are confusing the units as much as Hophunter is. If I learned anything in college it is that you must keep track of the units associated with the numbers you use. A basic sanity check on the numbers 2.5 and 9 will result in the conclusion that the units associated with each cannot be months. For Hophunters comment to be applicable to the world in which the rest of live the units that must be appended to the scalar 2.5 must be years not months.
Hope this helps.
1977Brewer
Free Dan Hess.
Me thinks you are confusing the units as much as Hophunter is. If I learned anything in college it is that you must keep track of the units associated with the numbers you use. A basic sanity check on the numbers 2.5 and 9 will result in the conclusion that the units associated with each cannot be months. For Hophunters comment to be applicable to the world in which the rest of live the units that must be appended to the scalar 2.5 must be years not months.
Hope this helps.
That's exactly how I took it the first time. 2.5 years. 9 months. Years being implied by the biological impossibility of the converse.
I took my ex-wife to a disco. There was a guy on the dance floor giving it large break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. My ex turns to me and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." I said to her: "Looks like hes still celebrating!!"
Hoppity
Just brew it!
Tonight at the Friday Afternoon Club introducing my wife to newbie employee:
Me: We've been married 36 years.
Newbie: You're a cute couple
Me: You should see pictures of us when we were young.
The sentence could not be retracted and I stumbled on with: "Of course she has always looked great", but my Spider Sense was telling me the damage was already done.
Sometimes I only open my mouth to change feet.
Me: We've been married 36 years.
Newbie: You're a cute couple
Me: You should see pictures of us when we were young.
The sentence could not be retracted and I stumbled on with: "Of course she has always looked great", but my Spider Sense was telling me the damage was already done.
Sometimes I only open my mouth to change feet.
Sometimes it's the only way to make sure you get circulation in both.
Me thinks you are confusing the units as much as Hophunter is. If I learned anything in college it is that you must keep track of the units associated with the numbers you use. A basic sanity check on the numbers 2.5 and 9 will result in the conclusion that the units associated with each cannot be months. For Hophunters comment to be applicable to the world in which the rest of live the units that must be appended to the scalar 2.5 must be years not months.
Hope this helps.
Thanks for covering it. I thought about units when starting the topic but got lazy with phone typing. Generally getting lazy about most things.
Natdavis777
Well-Known Member
Wife and I were going to a BBQ and she was debating on what to wear. I told her after the 2nd outfit "Babe! You will be one of the best looking girls there!" To which she gave the the look... I retorted " Seriously, you WILL be the best looking one there... You know I meant that"... Which I did. Because she was...
She totally knew what I meant... Bit*h (jk)
She totally knew what I meant... Bit*h (jk)
In the car, she's driving and our 2.5 yr old in back. I see a car with headlight out and smack her leg. She says "nice thing to be teaching your son". I look back and raise my hand and say "sometimes you gotta flex your pimp hand son". Not a winner
Tsuyako
Well-Known Member
Me and Hubby walking around a flee market (we weren't' married yet) and this guy is selling mini canons and ball and chains. He goes "Need a ball and chain?" and hubby went "Nope, already have one."
He got left alone for a while.
He got left alone for a while.
Rhumbline
Well-Known Member
Yeah, but in his defense, you really couldn't have expected him not to swing at that one.
Try introducing your current wife as your first wife at parties...damn that couch is comfortable.
