The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

Dear guy in the Carhartt overalls,

You should be a character actor on the big screen, not sitting around in the doctor's waiting room. And if you begin a story with "My first snake bite was a copperhead", please stay on topic and tell us about your other snake bite(s). I've been wondering all morrning about your other snake encounters.

Dear brew dude,

Mini-me shared with mini-she.

Guess who has two thumbs and is supposed to give eye drops to a (approximately) year-and-a-half year old 4 times a day?



Just following up,
This guy

Edit, it's not eye drops, it's a dang cream. I think I need to find some earplugs for the screams she is about to emit.

Dear This Guy,
The cream is new to me. I would triple check all the documentation and make sure it is what was prescribed and some error was not made.

Best of luck,

Sincerely,
Running to Costco for more soap.

(It's definitely an eye ointment cream)

Kent88 said:

(It's definitely an eye ointment cream)

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Hi Guy,
Did you get a tutorial on how to administer that? I know the minis may not stay still, but apply it to the lower lid anyway. You have my sincere condolences. Soldier on…

Sincerely,
It can’t be worse than medicating a cat.

Hoppy2bmerry said:

It can’t be worse than medicating a cat.

Click to expand...

More noise
More tears
Longer limbs

Fewer claws

About the same amount of biting

Dear old-school brewbuddy who is not HBT savvy,

Yes we can have a brew day this weekend, come on by. And just because that keg of delicious IPA went missing 4 weeks after we tapped it does not mean "I owe you 5 gallons" of beer.

It's called the Janitorial tax. You gotta be quicker next time!


Sincerely,

Your stock-rotating pal

Dear Brother In Law
Whaddayamean, "what happened to" the beer you liked last time you were here and that I had a whole keg of, and where is it?

Ya Numnuts! That was freaking *MONTHS* ago!

Keg life is measured in far smaller units than months around here.

Eeejit.

Sincerely,
Buuurrrp

balrog said:

Dear Brother In Law
Whaddayamean, "what happened to" the beer you liked last time you were here and that I had a whole keg of, and where is it?

Ya Numnuts! That was freaking *MONTHS* ago!

Keg life is measured in far smaller units than months around here.

Eeejit.

Sincerely,
Buuurrrp

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So rude of you BIL!
Complaining about the free beer you have by asking what happed to the free beer you drank the last visit. Errrm, it was good and we drank it. That’s what happened.
Sincerely,
Home brewer wants to know where are your manners

Dear 2024,
F off!

Bad enough that I was forced to spend all day helping MIL with a ton of poo at her place, then only to return home to the trio of sniffling off spring. I knew the 4th was due to come down with something tonight (it is the night before I return to work after a vacation or holiday) but what the hell?! Here it is 11:30 and he is awake and crying with gummed up gooey eyes!

Pink eye within the first 24 hours! That's it I quit! I am just going to give up now...

Sincerely,
Noooooooo!

Dear Brew Dude,

I am sorry for what you are going through. I hope your kiddos get through this as smoothly as possible.

Sincerely,
A sympathetic dad.

Dear 2024,
I wish to retract my previous request to you. It may have been a strong and over the top.

Since you have seen fit to have miraculously recalled super gummy nasty pink eye that child 4 presented last night aannndd somehow convinced child 3 to willingly take their antibiotic with almost 0 coaxing or fighting tonight, I will formally apologize for my outburst. I obviously judged you too quickly, and didn't give you much of an opportunity to correct course.

I am obviously still a bit jumpy after hearing of the adventures of @Kent88 at the close of 2023 and was not excited to have to a sympathy epidemic in his honor. Especially when everyone was due to go to school tomorrow. After 2 weeks home it is time for those children to return to academia and I feared a delay going to happen.

I am proud of your ability to make amends quickly, and hope that you can bring more pleasant surprises throughout the coming months.

Sincerely,
Can you make all of the political ads disappear before they start as well?

Dear "Captain B." of the brewing rocket "Minedonttouch",
Please return all switches, knobs, and buttons to the proper "off" position when you are through playing "rocket" with the brewery panel. You know you get in trouble for playing with that and honestly, the ruckus of the pumps running dry when I powered up almost ended all future brew sessions planned when my heart stopped for a moment.

Do not worry, the breaker in the main box will be off going forward.

Sincerely,
The post-it note over the switch in the spa breaker stating "Check all engines are pwd dn b4 engaging main pwr". (Just in case you figure out how to open said spa panel) (which you will far too soon, because that is how you roll)

Dear warehouse crew at job, where I have to go in every other Sunday,

Please get your isht done in a timely manner today, so I can get MY isht done in a timely manner, so I can come home and enjoy the first real meal I've had in almost two weeks (steak and rice). Not messing up the trailer numbers would also be a bonus.

Sincerely,

First day back at work after a week of horrible covids

Dear Very Pretty Cream Lager about to boil,

I wish I could smell you.

Sincerely,

Stupid post-covids nose that does not work unless I get close enough to incinerate nose hairs

Dear grains bagged up waiting to be milled and eventually become beer,

Brew day will happen, but not as soon as we’d like.

Sincerely,
Why do I need to be responsible and do the things before I can have a few hours to make some beer?

Dear daughter,

Please, please, please, remember this : if one of your schoolmates ask you "does this look like pink eye" RUN THE OTHER WAY!!!
-wash your hands!
-douse the desks and all other surfaces in bleach.
-wash your hands again!
-have the teachers send said schoolmate to the nurse / home to get treatment.
-wash your hands in bleach.

DO NOT DO THE FOLLOWING:
-pretend that you are a medical professional and look her eye!
-do not put you hand near classmate x or near anything that they may have touched.
-do not touch your face / eyes after said contact.
-do not come into the bedroom at 230am to tell you mother and I that classmate x probably has pink eye and you are pretty sure that you now have it.

.....

Sincerely,
Stopping at pharmacy for the eye drops.

Ps stay the $&@# away from your brothers until this clears!

isn't this a recurring theme, and likely not limited to any one single malady?

asks the father of two

Brew dude, I am sorry for what you are dealing with.

This one really just made me laugh and was hoping to amuse more than vent. (Some may have picked up on my love of this particular childhood ailment)

We had a nice streak going with everyone being healthy for a while, but to have it come to a halt from her playing nurse was the kicker. How she told us @230 am was the icing on the cake. Completely avoidable but we seem to not learn.

Honestly thought to have them all just rub their hands in her eyes then rub their eyes so that we can get it all over with now vesus dragging it on for 2 weeks...

@balrog my understanding is that the initial infection generally starts from poor hygiene in the bathroom and that makes its way into the eyes via rubbing them. Once the infection is started it is like Brett in the brewery, every surface that comes in contact with it must be thoroughly sanitized or it can spread everywhere. Since children are less adept in such basic skill as washing their hands (especially after rubbing their ichy gummy eyes at their desk or on the playgroung) transmission from one infected individual to others is common.

Yeah, my two went thru lottsa stuff in their youth, 30 years ago. Their sibling rivalry kept most infectious things separate.

Dear north Texas water towers,
With summer upon us, please try to keep your cool. I've got lagers to chill.

Sincerely,
The floppiest of knockers.

Brew_Dude41 said:

We had a nice streak going with everyone being healthy for a while

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When our boys were infants and then all the way to maybe 3rd or 4th grade, when the third week of school came around the entire household was pretty much guaranteed to be sick with something, and from that point we enjoyed our "viral vector germ of the month" memberships until late Spring finally arrived.

Since my youngest son decided to wait until he and his wife were almost 40 to have the first of my youngest two grandkids four years ago, my wife and I have been dodging bugs. But unfortunately the Spousal Unit is currently hacking up a lung from the latest bug she got from the 2 year old a week ago. She just can't resist snuggling even when the littles ones are all snotty - while I'm hugging the far walls

FloppyKnockers said:

Dear north Texas water towers,
With summer upon us, please try to keep your cool. I've got lagers to chill.

Sincerely,
The floppiest of knockers.

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Dear Floppiest of Knockers,

If you have two pumps and a counterflow chiller, you can freeze gallon ziplocks of water (or just buy big bags of ice from the store) and recirculate ice water through the chiller one direction while recirculating wort through the chiller in the other. By doing so you can get to lager-pitching temps pretty quickly.

Plus, you save a lot of water this way.

Sincerely,
Guy who has to brew in SoCal summers where groundwater might not be below 80 degrees and we're in constant drought

Dear chiller-challenged,
This is a forum of scrappy DIY-ers, you should be leveraging subterranean thermal mass.
Sincerely
Chief WiseA$$

betarhoalphadelta said:

Dear Floppiest of Knockers,

If you have two pumps and a counterflow chiller, you can freeze gallon ziplocks of water (or just buy big bags of ice from the store) and recirculate ice water through the chiller one direction while recirculating wort through the chiller in the other. By doing so you can get to lager-pitching temps pretty quickly.

Plus, you save a lot of water this way.

Sincerely,
Guy who has to brew in SoCal summers where groundwater might not be below 80 degrees and we're in constant drought

Click to expand...

Dear betar.....delta,
I've got my summer chilling dialed. Chilling with cold ground water just spoils me.

Sincerely,
Lazy, and don't wanna break out the summer equipment.

Dear Mini-Me -

I am well aware of our agreement that if you are dressed and have your teeth brushed before 6am, you can have a cartoon before school.

And that 4am is before 6am.

But you still have to wait until 6am for your cartoon, so go back to sleep.

Sure, I'll wake you up - just sleep bud.

I hear you giggling in there. Put the comic down and go to sleep.

You never slept, did you?

Lord help us all today.

Sincerely,
Early Bird Gene Provider

My kids are early birds aswell when we work and get up early. Then during holidays it takes about 2 days and they start sleeping in and often wake up later than my wife and I.

...

Dear Gut of Mine,

Okay okay okay. So it IS my delicious yeasty beer that I've been brewing the past 7 years that has caused your 'issues'. Took the depleted pipeline, as well as the 30-pack of the only store-bought 'lite' beer that I can stomach to figure that out (I did NOT drink the whole thing, husband helped). I'll be glad to not go through so much TP going forward.

Sincerely,

TMI but my hemorrhoids are happy.