The stupidest comment on your beer

crammer said:

I recently passed out bottles of spiced holiday ale to several coworkers of mine; one person commented that it tasted like an Anchor Steam beer.

Click to expand...

That's not too bad, it's just a slight confusion on his part. Anchor does have a spiced "holy day" beer.

So, how do you guys answer the "how do you make beer?" question? If I haven't had much homebrew yet that night I go into all-grain vs. extract and boiling hops. If I have had quite a few I go "you throw all the **** in the pot, boil it, add some yeast, and wait!"

MBasile said:

So, how do you guys answer the "how do you make beer?" question? If I haven't had much homebrew yet that night I go into all-grain vs. extract and boiling hops. If I have had quite a few I go "you throw all the **** in the pot, boil it, add some yeast, and wait!"

Click to expand...

Total agree with you - accept when I am sober and I start a diatribe on AG vs. PM vs. Extract - and see their eyes gloss over - then I just finish quickly with "boil , hops, yeast - wait!"

i say, you soak grains in hot water for a while, then boil the liquid adding hops from time to time then put it in a container with yeast and let it sit a few weeks.

On a long road trip I had my mother help me study for the BJCP exam. She kept butchering the pronunciation of diacytal, so I told her to just say "butter" and I would know what she meant. Evidently this intrigued her and she wanted to know what diacytal really was. Recap of the general conversation:

Me: I's an off flavor that can develop in beer, tastes like butter or butterscotch.
Mom: Really, that sounds tasty.
Me: It's not, it's an off flavor, it's not supposed to be in the beer.
Mom: But I like butterscotch.
Me: I like butterscotch too, just not in my beer.
Mom: Could you brew a beer with di-a-c-y-a-t....."butter" in it (trying to mimic her continued mispronunciation, which was awesome)
Me: Why would I want to do that?
Mom: Because I like butterscotch.
HWMBO (my hubby and co-brewer also in the car): *laughing hysterically*

Gotta love mom, took her to the GABF and pointed out Jim Koch to her, saying "That's the guy who owns Sam Adams." He started to walk away as I was doing this and she decided she wanted her picture with him so she went running after him yelling "Mr. Adams, Mr. Adams, come back Mr. Adams!"

KellyK said:

He started to walk away as I was doing this and she decided she wanted her picture with him so she went running after him yelling "Mr. Adams, Mr. Adams, come back Mr. Adams!"

Click to expand...

That is pure awesome in a can. Did he laugh his ass off? I would have been rolling. I think I like your mom.

dataz722 said:

i say, you soak grains in hot water for a while, then boil the liquid adding hops from time to time then put it in a container with yeast and let it sit a few weeks.

Click to expand...

+1

KellyK said:

Gotta love mom, took her to the GABF and pointed out Jim Koch to her, saying "That's the guy who owns Sam Adams." He started to walk away as I was doing this and she decided she wanted her picture with him so she went running after him yelling "Mr. Adams, Mr. Adams, come back Mr. Adams!"

Click to expand...

Excuse me Sam, and me and my boy get your picture?

KellyK said:

On a long road trip I had my mother help me study for the BJCP exam. She kept butchering the pronunciation of diacytal, so I told her to just say "butter" and I would know what she meant. Evidently this intrigued her and she wanted to know what diacytal really was. Recap of the general conversation:

Me: I's an off flavor that can develop in beer, tastes like butter or butterscotch.
Mom: Really, that sounds tasty.
Me: It's not, it's an off flavor, it's not supposed to be in the beer.
Mom: But I like butterscotch.
Me: I like butterscotch too, just not in my beer.
Mom: Could you brew a beer with di-a-c-y-a-t....."butter" in it (trying to mimic her continued mispronunciation, which was awesome)
Me: Why would I want to do that?
Mom: Because I like butterscotch.
HWMBO (my hubby and co-brewer also in the car): *laughing hysterically*

Gotta love mom, took her to the GABF and pointed out Jim Koch to her, saying "That's the guy who owns Sam Adams." He started to walk away as I was doing this and she decided she wanted her picture with him so she went running after him yelling "Mr. Adams, Mr. Adams, come back Mr. Adams!"

Click to expand...

lmao!! Swmbo too!

KellyK said:

On a long road trip I had my mother help me study for the BJCP exam. She kept butchering the pronunciation of diacytal, so I told her to just say "butter" and I would know what she meant. Evidently this intrigued her and she wanted to know what diacytal really was. Recap of the general conversation:

Me: I's an off flavor that can develop in beer, tastes like butter or butterscotch.
Mom: Really, that sounds tasty.
Me: It's not, it's an off flavor, it's not supposed to be in the beer.
Mom: But I like butterscotch.
Me: I like butterscotch too, just not in my beer.
Mom: Could you brew a beer with di-a-c-y-a-t....."butter" in it (trying to mimic her continued mispronunciation, which was awesome)
Me: Why would I want to do that?
Mom: Because I like butterscotch.
HWMBO (my hubby and co-brewer also in the car): *laughing hysterically*

Gotta love mom, took her to the GABF and pointed out Jim Koch to her, saying "That's the guy who owns Sam Adams." He started to walk away as I was doing this and she decided she wanted her picture with him so she went running after him yelling "Mr. Adams, Mr. Adams, come back Mr. Adams!"

Click to expand...

Everything about that story is hilarious!

Mom: What did you do for your birthday?
Me: Theresa (my wife) took me to go get a homebrew kit so I could start brewing my own beer.
Mom: I didn't know that was legal. How much beer are you going to make?
Me: Each batch will be about 5 gallons.
Mom: Are you an alcoholic?

Back when I first started

Buddy: Lager is a man's drink, and ale is for women
Me: That has nothing to do with anything. It has to do with strains of yeast, fermentation temps, and top vs bottom fermentation.
Buddy: Yeah, the man's yeast is on top, like it should be.
Me: I'm pretty sure lager yeast hangs around toward the bottom.
Buddy: Yeah, like I said, lager is for women, and ale is for men.


Also, they always assume that the entire process occurs in the bathtub, and are completely shocked when told sanitation is a high priority.

A friend who I thought liked good beer came over. So I opened a bomber bottle of our red ale. It was well received by others with a few of my friends asking for more. I poured a pint glass thinking he will like it as much as everyone else. He took his first sip, set it down and stared out the window for a second. I asked, so? What do you think? he moved his mouth like he was trying to define flavors in a fine wine and said these exact words, I kid you not, too much alkaline taste in it. I can taste some sort of alkaline. I didn't know what to think and he didn't drink anymore of the beer. Found it later still half full when I asked for the bottle back. No more for him even though he asks.

chortly said:

Also, they always assume that the entire process occurs in the bathtub, and are completely shocked when told sanitation is a high priority.

Click to expand...

Well, now I know what to tell people when they ask how it is made. Put the grain/hops/yeast and water in the bathtub. Mash by stomping around in it, turn on the shower to lauter then pull the plug and bottle by using the special valve on the "pee-trap". Won't have to share any when I'm done explaining that.... :rockin:

irish red, they said..."is this guiness? wait its blue moon? well its deffinantly dark.

thats a good plan. better than saying it contains strychnine.

MBasile said:

So, how do you guys answer the "how do you make beer?" question? If I haven't had much homebrew yet that night I go into all-grain vs. extract and boiling hops. If I have had quite a few I go "you throw all the **** in the pot, boil it, add some yeast, and wait!"

Click to expand...

Here's my brewing explanation - spoken very quickly:

"Barley grains are full of starch and enzymes that will convert the starch to sugar to feed the barley plant as it sprouts. If we mix grain with water and heat it up to the right temp, we trick those enzymes into going to work and converting that starch to sugar. We then drain off the liquid and we have barley sugar in water. We boil that mixture for an hour or more in order to get the hops in there. Adding hops at t minus 1 hr adds bitterness. Adding hops at t minus 10 minutes adds hop flavor. Adding hops at t minus one minute adds hop aroma. We then let that cool, put it in a big bottle and add yeast and let it sit for a few weeks. The yeast eats the barley sugar and poops out alcohol and carbon dioxide and then falls to the bottom. We then the liquid off of the yeast and we have beer ready for bottling!"

brewthunda said:

Here's my brewing explanation - spoken very quickly:

"Barley grains are full of starch and enzymes that will convert the starch to sugar to feed the barley plant as it sprouts. If we mix grain with water and heat it up to the right temp, we trick those enzymes into going to work and converting that starch to sugar. We then drain off the liquid and we have barley sugar in water. We boil that mixture for an hour or more in order to get the hops in there. Adding hops at t minus 1 hr adds bitterness. Adding hops at t minus 10 minutes adds hop flavor. Adding hops at t minus one minute adds hop aroma. We then let that cool, put it in a big bottle and add yeast and let it sit for a few weeks. The yeast eats the barley sugar and poops out alcohol and carbon dioxide and then falls to the bottom. We then the liquid off of the yeast and we have beer ready for bottling!"

Click to expand...

I may not go into the detail that Brewthunda does, but I do love when I get to the part about yeast "poop". I love the BMC crowds reaction.

"It Game me the ****s" even after I told them not to drink the bottom of the bottle And does eyast even give you the ****s haha

the only time i got the hershey squirts from homebrew was a gallon experimental batch i made that was infected with god only knows what. it smelled like ass and tasted worse! yet i was wondering if i could catch the buzz so i pounded a few pints. bad idea. fast forward 4 years and im much smarter. just a sip and spit.

wedge421 said:

"It Game me the ****s" even after I told them not to drink the bottom of the bottle And does eyast even give you the ****s haha

Click to expand...

Pretty much. If you have recently eaten anything with sugar, the yeast will eat it when they get to it if consumed. It gives the feeling like you need to poop. It will also give you gas from the co2. I've heard your poop smells like fresh baked bread but from experience, I can't confirm that is true. Yes, it pretty much does give you the "****s" but it's more of a feeling than anything.

wedge421 said:

"It Game me the ****s" even after I told them not to drink the bottom of the bottle And does eyast even give you the ****s haha

Click to expand...

Yah - I gave my BIL two cases of wedding beer (Honey Kolsch for his Honeymoon). Told him to pour it glasses to get a good clean beer w/o yeast.

He said that he'd rather not dirty a glass and that drinking from the bottle is fine. Fortunately, it was in the 2ndary for 2 months before it got bottled, so it was rather clean prior to bottling.

Drinking yeast just gives you gas.

The dorks on the brewing network were giving away a years supply of WL yeast if you would chug down a vile of one. That would would be gastro-intestinal torture if you ask me.

I'd have a case of sharts for a GD week!!!!!

DavidSteel said:

And not directly related to beer tasting but I get this ALL the time from my grandma.

Click to expand...

Almost every bad comment I've gotten has been from mine as well, usually stuff along the lines of "it's so bitter" or the famous "you couldn't have brewed this" (followed by an awkward silence).

Of course, she still refers to African-Americans as "colored" people, if that gives any insight to her way of thinking.

Schlenkerla said:

Drinking yeast just gives you gas.

The dorks on the brewing network were giving away a years supply of WL yeast if you would chug down a vile of one. That would would be gastro-intestinal torture if you ask me.

I'd have a case of sharts for a GD week!!!!!

Click to expand...

An employee of mine had a small party and one of the guys got drunk. Before he could stop him he had opened and drank a vial of outdated White Labs Belgian Sour Mix

We never learned of the aftermath but it had to be a nightmare.

Forrest

Austinhomebrew said:

An employee of mine had a small party and one of the guys got drunk. Before he could stop him he had opened and drank a vial of outdated White Labs Belgian Sour Mix

We never learned of the aftermath but it had to be a nightmare.

Forrest

Click to expand...

LOL. my gut hurts thinking about that.

Austinhomebrew said:

An employee of mine had a small party and one of the guys got drunk. Before he could stop him he had opened and drank a vial of outdated White Labs Belgian Sour Mix

We never learned of the aftermath but it had to be a nightmare.

Forrest

Click to expand...

Well...at least he wasn't drinking sellable stock. :cross:

olllllo said:

Them: "I don't like beer but I like your beer."
Me: "Thanks!"
In my head: "WTF? Then you like beer, genius."

Click to expand...

Ditto, and mine wasn't carbonated or aged.



I guess they like their beer flat.

C2H5OH said:

I guess they like their beer flat.

Click to expand...

Flat beer is still tasty alcohol Whenever I crack a bottle open to see if it's carbed yet or if I still need to rouse the yeast, I always end up drinking the whole thing, even if it is flat. Let not one drop be wasted unless you are making a sacrifice to the beer gods (even then it should only be a small amount lest they become angry....).

Ex SWMBO: I didnt like your beer. It was too bitter.
Me say: Ok thats cool.
Me think: Wtf? An ounce of Fuggles in an Oatmeal Stout is too bitter?

SWMBO's Friend, "I didn't like your spiced cider, its harsh and tastes like beer."

WTF? - How does cider taste like beer?

Jeeperforlife said:

Ex SWMBO: I didnt like your beer. It was too bitter.
Me say: Ok thats cool.
Me think: Wtf? An ounce of Fuggles in an Oatmeal Stout is too bitter?

Click to expand...

Maybe you had a bit too much roasted barley?

Did you add raspberries to your beer? It was a stout gone bad due to a bacterial infection.

Schlenkerla said:

SWMBO's Friend, "I didn't like your spiced cider, its harsh and tastes like beer."

WTF? - How does cider taste like beer?

Click to expand...

Perhaps they were accustomed to drinking cidery beer. Malt liquor comes to mind....

Brew Runner said:

Perhaps they were accustomed to drinking cidery beer. Malt liquor comes to mind....

Click to expand...

In reading I found some writings that said malt liquor is just a strong lager. Is this true?

Hermit said:

In reading I found some writings that said malt liquor is just a strong lager. Is this true?

Click to expand...

Eh, it's weird laws in certain states and countries that certain things need to be displayed as "beer" or "malt liquor" if they are a certain ABV etc. But it's different everywhere and just strange. I can't really say much more than that, because that's all that (i think) i know.

Good stuff! Just read all 64 pages (plus a few linked threads) over a two day period.

Just started about 1-month ago, so I don't have any finished products yet, so nobody has said anything stupid yet to me about my beers. I'm sure I have said some pretty stupid stuff over the last decade or so about beer in general, though.

Nothing as bad as "How do you get alcohol in it", but I used to think dark beers were typically stronger (ABV) than lighter colored beers, and probably said some pretty stupid stuff in reference to that, but then I started comparing ABVs and eventually figured out that the color has nothing to do with the amount of alcohol in it.

It does annoy me when people say they won't drink stouts because they are "too much like motor oil" or "too much like coffee".

I'm starting with Mr. Beer kit, but I just bought two 5-gallon glass carboys for $5 each from a guy on Craig's List, so I'll have lots of home brews very soon. I'll be happy to post any stupid comments about my home brews after I get them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Primary - Mr. Beer's Bewitched Red Ale (Requested by SWMBO)
Bottled - Mr. Beer's West Coast Pale Ale

Best of luck on brewing, LV. And welcome to the site!

serving an ipa thus explaining an ipa and wow tastes like a heff

"Hey this tastes like beer." -- my non-drinking parents.

IT WAS AN APPLEWINE.

Had a great conversation at lunch with a buddy that is too good not to share.

Me: I've started making my own beer

He: Tell me you haven't already bought everything, I have a ton of stuff in my garage my wife would love for you to come get.

He (to other guy at lunch): it tastes just like the beer you can get at that brew pub, but I like Coors Light, and you can't really make that. I did make one beer that was an Irish stout like Guiness that was pretty good.

Me: I have a pretty good bit of stuff, but i would love to come get whatever you have left.

He: I have all sorts of stuff, I was about to get into kegging when I stopped

WTF? Anyway, it works out great for me.

My dad drinks Coors with Ice...all the german heritage must have escaped him somehow. I don't even bother asking him to try my homebrews.

My brother drinks PBR and Busch, how i got into homebrewing I have no idea.