So like...

I'm missing myh ex tongiht. She's a crazy bipolar bitcy, but i love her. **** it. I love russian iperial stout.

My Ex was a manic depressive and Bi-polar crazy woman.
I understand.

Here, have an evil and wicked IPA.

Sorry to hear of your sorrow.

But there are thousands more just like her. They will find you.

You don't suppose all those single eligible woman are just coincidentally single, do you?

"No matter how hot she looks, somebody, somewhere is sick of her phucking ****."

"Woman are like street cars; if you don't want this one, another just like that will come along soon."

Sometimes when it's 4 am and you've been up all day working, you've been sipping the RIS's and thinking, you start to look back and reminisce about the good old days.

You were so young then. God damn, how did you even manage to tie your own shoes you were so clueless? And she was there for you, during the good times and the occasional bad ones too.

It's really too bad that things didn't work out. Hell, if you think about it, it was mostly all your fault. It's not like she didn't try to tell you what she was thinking and feeling. You could have listened. You could have modified your behavior.

You're wondering what she's doing right now. Should you call her? It's not like you are trying to get back together with her or anything. It's not like you are trying to get her into the sack, even if you were always able to push each others buttons the right way there. Man, she sure could give it a go there. WOW, could she ever!! Remember that time you got her drunk in Tijuana? You pissed around corners for a week. Maybe things could be different...








Stop!!! Right now!!! Take your phone out of your pocket and throw it in the toilet. I'm not kidding. Throw your f'ing phone in the toilet. Stand there and watch it till the bubbles stop rising to the surface of the toilet and then go pour yourself another Russian Imperial Stout. Come back into the bathroom, and pee into the toilet that still has your phone sitting in the bottom. Finish your beer.


Geez, that was close! Now, before you go and get all maudlin again go find a diversion. Preferably one that is better looking than her and that she knows. It would be REALLY preferable if the diversion has a big mouth so that the word gets back to her. Then when the... How did you describe her again?... "Crazy Bipolar Biach?" Yup, when the Crazy Bipolar Biatch calls you up screaching about how you are a no good SOB for availing yourself of the lovely and accomodating young lady you can count yourelf lucky that it only cost you a cellphone.

You're welcome.

PTN

^^^ that's the best advice I have ever heard

Can I have his cellphone? I bet it still works, and I am cheap.

No wonder your eyes have that diabolical glow. You've caught something that's probably not readily cureable.

PTN