(crap) beer jokes!

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Up your butt beer?

beerbutt7.jpg
 
Revvy I disagree, this thrwad is awesome. Might be all my drunken emu cider.....i'm almost a drunken emu

I got one of them

A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks down and says "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants"

The pirate replies "Ay......................."

Fill it in yo
 
Polar bear walks into a bar and says, "Can I get a... ...beer?"

Bartender replies, "Sure, but what's with the big pause?"
 
Bacon and eggs walk in to a bar and ask for a beer. Bartender says, "Sorry boys, we don't serve breakfast here."
 
Still hasn't gotten much better. :rolleyes:

A pig walks into the bar and asks for a pitcher of beer. He drank it all then asked the bartender where the bathroom is. Bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".

Another pig walks into the bar and orders 2 pitchers of beer. He finishes them off and then asks where the bathroom is. The bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".

Another pig walks into the bar and orders 3 pitchers of beer. Finishing them off he was just going to stand up when the bartender asks him "well aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" The pig replies " no, i am going to go wee wee wee all the way home."
 
Revvy said:
Still hasn't gotten much better. :rolleyes:

A pig walks into the bar and asks for a pitcher of beer. He drank it all then asked the bartender where the bathroom is. Bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".

Another pig walks into the bar and orders 2 pitchers of beer. He finishes them off and then asks where the bathroom is. The bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".

Another pig walks into the bar and orders 3 pitchers of beer. Finishing them off he was just going to stand up when the bartender asks him "well aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" The pig replies " no, i am going to go wee wee wee all the way home."
Click to expand...

That meets the (crap) requirement;)
 
A blonde orders a beer.

The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them.

The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.
Each time the blond calls for another beer this happens. So after the third beer, a guy decides to help the bartender out.

The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts and she decks him!

He is lying on the floor moaning, 'Jeez lady. Why do you let the bartender do it?'

'Duh,' says the blonde. 'He has a licker license!'
 
Bithead said:
A blonde orders a beer.

The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them.

The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.
Each time the blond calls for another beer this happens. So after the third beer, a guy decides to help the bartender out.

The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts and she decks him!

He is lying on the floor moaning, 'Jeez lady. Why do you let the bartender do it?'

'Duh,' says the blonde. 'He has a licker license!'
Click to expand...

Much better! Can we change this to beer/blonde jokes?
 
Boy, I must not get Kiwi humor.

Loses something in the translation maybe?
 
Don't worry kiwi, not all of us from the states are stupid.
Your joke still sucked, btw.:)


_
 
Two yeast walk into a bar and order a beer.
One of them takes a sip and says to the other
"This tastes like piss!"
 
Cromwell said:
Two yeast walk into a bar and order a beer.
One of them takes a sip and says to the other
"This tastes like piss!"
Click to expand...

And the other yeast replies, "Well mine smells like someone passed gas!"
 
not sure if it was suggested that I used google to find the punchline to the pirate joke, but whatever....

My contribution is :

Two pieces of rope go into a bar and ask for the bartender for a drink.. the bartender says " we don't serve rope here " The first piece leaves, the second grabs a knife from the car, wraps himself into a ball and starts stabbing himself, then heads inside for a drink.
The bartender says " I told you we don't serve ropes here - aren't you a rope ?"

...................(go on and guess)
 
joeybeer said:
Two pieces of rope go into a bar and ask for the bartender for a drink.. the bartender says " we don't serve rope here " The first piece leaves, the second grabs a knife from the car, wraps himself into a ball and starts stabbing himself, then heads inside for a drink.
The bartender says " I told you we don't serve ropes here - aren't you a rope ?"

...................(go on and guess)
Click to expand...

Frayed knot?
 
A Priest, a Rabbi, a Norwegian and a dog walk into a bar. Bartender says, "what is this, some kind of a joke?"
 
A bear walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears."

The bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there."

The bartender says, "Go ahead."

So the bear eats the lady and demands a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs.''

"What do mean?" says the bear. "I'm not on drugs."

"Well," says the bartender, "What about that barbiturate?"
 

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