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Old 05-22-2012, 02:13 PM   #1
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Default Girlfriend hides everything (need advice)

So I am about to lose it here and really don't know what to do. I need advice.

About a year and a half ago, I moved in with my girlfriend. WTF was I thinking? Anyways, she owns her house and has lived here for a long time. Along I come thinking I can actually merge my life with hers.

She has this habit of just randomly deciding to put things in new places and not bother to tell me. So I am constantly searching for something and completely baffled as to where the hell I could have left it. usually after about day four of searching, I announce I have given up and whatever item I was searching for is gone forever (it's almost always something new and expensive). That's just about the time she will casually tell me she has decided it would be better in the back of some drawer wrapped in some obscure cloth and buried behind a bunch of old things.

Two days ago, I discovered the saran wrap, aluminum foil and ziplocks that went missing two weeks ago. I kept meaning to buy new bags but that would have proved pointless as we had them, she just decided to move their location.

Yesterday, i finally found my 400 dollar GPS unit that has been used twice. Buried in her desk.

Today, I was searching for my brand new bag of razors so I could shave. She found it under the sink, in a box of random ****.

Needless to say, this is never her fault. I should know where these things are because I am psychic (I AM NOT REALLY).

So now I have gotten to a point where I am playing here game (which unfortunately not a game). I have hidden her stuff in random places. However, I know this will backfire.

Short of moving out, what can I do? I am about to lose it.

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Old 05-22-2012, 02:16 PM   #2
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Communicate. If you don't find something in it's normal spot, ask her.

"Hey honey, have you seen the Saran wrap?" That usually works.

For those of us that can't read minds, communication is necessary.

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Old 05-22-2012, 02:18 PM   #3
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You can't just ask her where she put things??

Claim a space for your stuff and tell her to leave it there.

All else fails - get a new GF!

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Old 05-22-2012, 02:19 PM   #4
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This reminds me of when I moved in.. It lasted until we moved and it became our house and now I could not be happier...

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Old 05-22-2012, 02:28 PM   #5
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Wow, a question on HBT that I think I am 100% qualified to answer!

My first suggestion is you take a walk around the block, get some air and NOT do anything at all until you are totally calm and collected. If you confront her while you are still heated I guarentee you it will turn out poorly.

It sounds to me like your lady, who apparently has been living alone for some time, came down with a bad case of bachelor(ette) syndrome. You get caught up in your own ways of doing things, and life feels like a huge adjustment when another person gets thrown into the mix. Some small, subconscience part of her mind might even resent you a little for being there and messing with the routine she spent so much time developing.

My point is, not knowing your girlfriend, I would say it is one of three things.

1) You are still learning how to live with each other. After a while, if approached calmly, the arguments of the moved items will reduce, and she will randomly move things less. You are still getting used to each other, and its a continuous process.

2) She really does resent you. You'll need to ask her if this is the case CALMLY when you are less angry.

3) She has a mental disorder akin to cleptomania. I suppose its possible that she pathologically hides things. Is this the only thing she does that is... weird? I'm not talking hates the smell of lemons weird, I'm talking turns the water on and off 3 times when she is done with it weird...

Oh, and FYI, "unhide" her stuff ASAP. Thats gonna end badly if you dont.

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Old 05-22-2012, 02:33 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by CreamyGoodness View Post
Oh, and FYI, "unhide" her stuff ASAP. Thats gonna end badly if you dont.
This. There is nothing worse than retaliation when trying to resolve a situation. As previously stated by someone else, TALK TO HER. It is amazing how far a little communication can go.

If there is an underlying issue that cannot be resolved, take the necessary steps sooner rather than later.
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Old 05-22-2012, 02:36 PM   #7
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This is always going to be "her house" and all your crap is invading her space. Maybe you can have a few rubbermaid bins in the garage or basement for anything you want to keep in your own place.

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Old 05-22-2012, 02:38 PM   #8
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Yikes, alarm bells are going off. She seems to be asserting her dominance over you and doesn't really want to merge her life with yours.

Either that or she has some sort of OCD. A good talk is in order.

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Old 05-22-2012, 02:42 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcarb View Post
So now I have gotten to a point where I am playing here game (which unfortunately not a game). I have hidden her stuff in random places. However, I know this will backfire.

Short of moving out, what can I do? I am about to lose it.
  • very carefully cut a hole in the sod out in the back yard
  • dig a hole
  • place her car keys in a jar and then in the hole
  • replace the dirt
  • cover with the cut out sod
  • water the yard

After a week or 3 when she's done looking for them tell her what ya did and let her know if she hides any more **** next time it wont be her keys
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Old 05-22-2012, 02:47 PM   #10
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my wife does this sometimes with things I leave out. She hates clutter, so she will randomly place things in drawers sometimes. I have gotten to know where she likes to hide stuff, so that is where I look first hahaha. You should ask your GF is there are certain places that she likes to keep stuff. trust me, it's much easier adapting to her already established practices than trying to reinvent the wheel.

The only item I have told my wife to never touch is my gym shorts. for some reason she would put them in some odd place, I would get so frustrated and give up looking hahaha

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