I think you did a nice job, Toolbox. Your script was well thought out and presented. Your voice and personality are interesting enough to keep ones attention. If you're thinking of making more, I have a couple of suggestions.
1. Turn off the radio, it's distracting and you also get into music licensing issues. You can dub over some sound if you want later.
2. Get yourself a lapel mike. That would cut out most of the background noise. Even better would be to record your voice into a separate recording device and merge the sound and video together in post production.
Good work, and good luck!