Zombie Plan
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travestyofnature
Well-Known Member
Here are my zombie self defense guidlines formulated by years of bad tv if anyone wants to use them in their plan;
Don't panic.
Get away from the zombies. Most of the time, you can move faster than they can.
Gather food, water, an emergency radio, flashlights and weapons, and retreat to a secure location.
If possible, retreat to a shopping mall, general retail store or other location where you'll have easy access to food and supplies.
Stay away from densely populated areas, where the infestation is likely to be heaviest.
Barricade all entrances and stay put at all costs.
Don't get surrounded or backed into a corner or other enclosed space.
Remember that anyone bitten or killed by a zombie will become a threat to you and your party.
Wait patiently for rescue and make long-term preparations for your survival.
An important rule of zombie survival: Don't get surrounded.
Also, avoid common mistakes like:
Sheltering in a vehicle to which you do not have the keys
Leaving blades, cudgels or other basic weapons out for zombies to find
Teaching zombies how to use firearms
Giving your only weapon to anyone who is hysterical
Retreating to a basement or cellar without taking supplies with you
Getting into an elevator in a building infested with zombies
Letting personal feelings and arguments get in the way of survival
Don't panic.
Get away from the zombies. Most of the time, you can move faster than they can.
Gather food, water, an emergency radio, flashlights and weapons, and retreat to a secure location.
If possible, retreat to a shopping mall, general retail store or other location where you'll have easy access to food and supplies.
Stay away from densely populated areas, where the infestation is likely to be heaviest.
Barricade all entrances and stay put at all costs.
Don't get surrounded or backed into a corner or other enclosed space.
Remember that anyone bitten or killed by a zombie will become a threat to you and your party.
Wait patiently for rescue and make long-term preparations for your survival.
An important rule of zombie survival: Don't get surrounded.
Also, avoid common mistakes like:
Sheltering in a vehicle to which you do not have the keys
Leaving blades, cudgels or other basic weapons out for zombies to find
Teaching zombies how to use firearms
Giving your only weapon to anyone who is hysterical
Retreating to a basement or cellar without taking supplies with you
Getting into an elevator in a building infested with zombies
Letting personal feelings and arguments get in the way of survival
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travestyofnature
Well-Known Member
You'd probly end up with some liberal nut-job pushing for the rights of zombies. You'd also have to define what kind of jobs zombies could and could not be used for. And really, how usefull could a zombie be?
Zombie jobs ?
hmm
I have read something about that
Oh there is a Wiki about "Z-Day"
Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki - Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki
here are some of the uses listed (freaking weirdos)
1. Manual Labor: Like some of you may have noticed in Shaun of the Dead, it may be possible that zombies can be used for manual labor. Remember toward the end where they had the one collecting carts? The degree to which zombies can be trained would of course limit what they could do, but there are certainly an array of possibilities. Crude slave labor such as what the Egyptians used to build the pyramids. Assembly line workers that go 24 hours a day with no breaks. Really almost anything you would want a robot to do.
2. Sex Slave: This one may be a little awkward. No one admits it but many have thought it. If zombies remain...fresh?...they may still have some appeal. And depending on how much function they retain, they may prove more useful. All sorts of dark fantasies could be played out.Obviously this is a rather...unsavory example, but it may be a way to cut down on rape if the rapist can have their way with a zombie.
3. Stunt Doubles: Need to see a real body in the car when it goes off the cliff and explodes? Fake arms just won't do the trick for the next chainsaw horror flick? Want to see Mel Gibson really Crucify someone? Get a zombie to do it! Suffering no pain, mouthing no complaints, totally expendable, and you don't need to pay them! Set them on fire, cut them in half, have Chuck Norris break their limbs, whatever you need, get a zombie for your next action/horror film!
4. Entertainment: Need something bigger than a rat to run your maze? Nobody willing to fight the heavyweight champ? Want to see those WWE guys REALLY perform the moves?
How about reality TV or game shows? Target practice, we have all said this one! See who would really win a fight, the shark or the zombie. And there is no end to the gambling possibilities.
Why hire people when you could simply tie the balloon strings to zombies for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?
5. Military: From training troops to doing the unthinkable to your enemy by releasing a horde on their stronghold, it doesn't take a genius to find SOME military application for the undead.
6. Research: Probably how the whole mess will get started!
hmm
I have read something about that
Oh there is a Wiki about "Z-Day"
Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki - Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki
here are some of the uses listed (freaking weirdos)
1. Manual Labor: Like some of you may have noticed in Shaun of the Dead, it may be possible that zombies can be used for manual labor. Remember toward the end where they had the one collecting carts? The degree to which zombies can be trained would of course limit what they could do, but there are certainly an array of possibilities. Crude slave labor such as what the Egyptians used to build the pyramids. Assembly line workers that go 24 hours a day with no breaks. Really almost anything you would want a robot to do.
2. Sex Slave: This one may be a little awkward. No one admits it but many have thought it. If zombies remain...fresh?...they may still have some appeal. And depending on how much function they retain, they may prove more useful. All sorts of dark fantasies could be played out.Obviously this is a rather...unsavory example, but it may be a way to cut down on rape if the rapist can have their way with a zombie.
3. Stunt Doubles: Need to see a real body in the car when it goes off the cliff and explodes? Fake arms just won't do the trick for the next chainsaw horror flick? Want to see Mel Gibson really Crucify someone? Get a zombie to do it! Suffering no pain, mouthing no complaints, totally expendable, and you don't need to pay them! Set them on fire, cut them in half, have Chuck Norris break their limbs, whatever you need, get a zombie for your next action/horror film!
4. Entertainment: Need something bigger than a rat to run your maze? Nobody willing to fight the heavyweight champ? Want to see those WWE guys REALLY perform the moves?
How about reality TV or game shows? Target practice, we have all said this one! See who would really win a fight, the shark or the zombie. And there is no end to the gambling possibilities.
Why hire people when you could simply tie the balloon strings to zombies for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?
5. Military: From training troops to doing the unthinkable to your enemy by releasing a horde on their stronghold, it doesn't take a genius to find SOME military application for the undead.
6. Research: Probably how the whole mess will get started!
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travestyofnature
Well-Known Member
Cheeto, think you're right about electricity as the prime method to control them. They're not supposed to feel pain so you would need something to severely impact nervous funtion. I was thinking about something just a little more powerfull tho.
![Craft A Brew - Safale BE-256 Yeast - Fermentis - Belgian Ale Dry Yeast - For Belgian & Strong Ales - Ingredients for Home Brewing - Beer Making Supplies - [3 Pack]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51bcKEwQmWL._SL500_.jpg)
oh look a Zombie
yeah, I don't think so !
But, I think I may have found Deathbrewer's new assistant
Are you talking about killing Zombies or a plan for the coming Zombiepocalype. Because killing them is the easy part, hell any blow with the side of a shovel can do that, though it aint as sexy as a hot chick in a chainmail bikini wielding a mossberg or those full auto "alley sweeper" used in Soweto in the 70's.
You really need to focus on survival in the coming new world.
If you look at the better zombiepocalypse threads on here, like this one (https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f19/ho...en-our-currency-worthless-104035/#post1140011) you will see that when the crash happens many of us are going to declare ourselves "King of the Sacred Barley Water" and trade our beers for nubile slave girls....so that we can repopulate the planet.
I mean there is a great precident for this for brewers providing a much needed food and water replacement.....Partigyle brewing provided for small table beers for the kiddies to drink when the water was bad....
That's why we have started the GAP thread to explore non-traditional beer making with common grocery items. https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f12/ga...r-experiment-69313/?highlight=Grocery+Produce
I even designed my label for the "snake oil".......er I mean beer...
I figure I'll have my kingdom pretty well covered.
You really need to focus on survival in the coming new world.
If you look at the better zombiepocalypse threads on here, like this one (https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f19/ho...en-our-currency-worthless-104035/#post1140011) you will see that when the crash happens many of us are going to declare ourselves "King of the Sacred Barley Water" and trade our beers for nubile slave girls....so that we can repopulate the planet.
I mean there is a great precident for this for brewers providing a much needed food and water replacement.....Partigyle brewing provided for small table beers for the kiddies to drink when the water was bad....
That's why we have started the GAP thread to explore non-traditional beer making with common grocery items. https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f12/ga...r-experiment-69313/?highlight=Grocery+Produce
I even designed my label for the "snake oil".......er I mean beer...
I figure I'll have my kingdom pretty well covered.
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travestyofnature
Well-Known Member
I bet a zombie could make a good living as a crash test dummy or on the set of "Mythbusters". In firefighting and law enforcement you could use them in live training I suppose.
arturo7
Well-Known Member
How about one of the contraptions like the dude used in "No Country for Old Men."
I guess this would only work if you had a high pressure compressor to generate the CO2 and the power source* to run it. Of course, we all know of another benefit of a CO2 supply.
*I'm surprised these zombie apoc. survival discussions rarely mention off-the-grid energy capability.
.
I guess this would only work if you had a high pressure compressor to generate the CO2 and the power source* to run it. Of course, we all know of another benefit of a CO2 supply.
*I'm surprised these zombie apoc. survival discussions rarely mention off-the-grid energy capability.
.
The whole zombie sex slave thing has been a few times in some of these stories.
Tales of the Zombie War
Here's one of them.
Tales of the Zombie War » BALLOONS by Tom Hamilton
Or this...Tales of the Zombie War » WRAP YER WEASEL, SON by Clitoris Rex
*shudders*
Tales of the Zombie War
Here's one of them.
Tales of the Zombie War » BALLOONS by Tom Hamilton
Or this...Tales of the Zombie War » WRAP YER WEASEL, SON by Clitoris Rex
*shudders*
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travestyofnature
Well-Known Member
Are you talking about killing Zombies or a plan for the coming Zombiepocalype. Because killing them is the easy part, hell any blow with the side of a shovel can do that, though it aint as sexy as a hot chick in a chainmail bikini wielding a mossberg or those full auto "alley sweeper" used in Soweto in the 70's.
You really need to focus on survival in the coming new world.
If you look at the better zombiepocalypse threads on here, like this one (https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f19/ho...en-our-currency-worthless-104035/#post1140011) you will see that when the crash happens many of us are going to declare ourselves "King of the Sacred Barley Water" and trade our beers for nubile slave girls....so that we can repopulate the planet.
I mean there is a great precident for this for brewers providing a much needed food and water replacement.....Partigyle brewing provided for small table beers for the kiddies to drink when the water was bad....
That's why we have started the GAP thread to explore non-traditional beer making with common grocery items. https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f12/ga...r-experiment-69313/?highlight=Grocery+Produce
I even designed my label for the "snake oil".......er I mean beer...
I figure I'll have my kingdom pretty well covered.
Wow Revvy, thanks for all the great links and info. You are my hero. Now i must find a way to implement this all into my plan in such a way that I will not be in direct competition with Cheeto. Or else I'll have to strangle him while he sleeps tonight and none of us want that.
He didn't get his plan worked out,
at about 4am this jerk was standing over my bed with a plastic trash bag in his hands
mumbling something about zombies !I had to remind him that he brews Meads
I brew Beer
There is a safe and common ground here !!
and there is no reason to kill me.
-Jason
EvilTOJ
Well-Known Member
OOOooo another zombie thread my favorite! Revvy's absolutely right, we are going to declare ourselves "King of the Sacred Barley Water" and trade our beers for nubile slave girls.
I know I've posted this before, and I ripped it off from another forum, but it's still great advice.
Do NOT, and I mean DO NOT go to the mall for shelter. No Wal*Mart, no Home Depot, no New England grocery store. Sure it SOUNDS like a good idea. I mean, they have everything, right? Food, water, shelter, and possibly even arms quite literally line the walls in places like that.
Everyone else has had, or will come up with, the same idea. Well, maybe not everyone- but certainly so many that the chances your particular store won’t be overrun is pretty damn slim.
Have you ever been to the grocery store around dinner time? It’s a pain in the ass, isn’t it? What about before a blizzard or a major storm? It’s a zoo. Remember Katrina? Great googley-moogely! Now imagine that it’s the mother****ing End of the World as We Know It.
The same principle applies to setting up shop after some time has passed in the PAW. Only now, though there might be fewer people to compete with, those that are left could be crazy, sick, or just plain hostile. The materials you came looking for will be depleted by spoilage and scavenging. Squatters may defend what's left with violence. The building will more than likely already have had its security measures breached.
In short, it’s not just a bad idea- it’s a ridiculously common one. Don’t do it. You shouldn’t rely on hitting the supply jackpot after the unthinkable happens anyway.
I know I've posted this before, and I ripped it off from another forum, but it's still great advice.
Do NOT, and I mean DO NOT go to the mall for shelter. No Wal*Mart, no Home Depot, no New England grocery store. Sure it SOUNDS like a good idea. I mean, they have everything, right? Food, water, shelter, and possibly even arms quite literally line the walls in places like that.
Everyone else has had, or will come up with, the same idea. Well, maybe not everyone- but certainly so many that the chances your particular store won’t be overrun is pretty damn slim.
Have you ever been to the grocery store around dinner time? It’s a pain in the ass, isn’t it? What about before a blizzard or a major storm? It’s a zoo. Remember Katrina? Great googley-moogely! Now imagine that it’s the mother****ing End of the World as We Know It.
The same principle applies to setting up shop after some time has passed in the PAW. Only now, though there might be fewer people to compete with, those that are left could be crazy, sick, or just plain hostile. The materials you came looking for will be depleted by spoilage and scavenging. Squatters may defend what's left with violence. The building will more than likely already have had its security measures breached.
In short, it’s not just a bad idea- it’s a ridiculously common one. Don’t do it. You shouldn’t rely on hitting the supply jackpot after the unthinkable happens anyway.
Skins_Brew
Well-Known Member
I have given the idea some thought and had some lengthy conversations on the matter. If I knew that the Zombies were headed in my general direction, I would take all non-perishable food items, wife, dog and my few guns and head for the mountains. I know in Western Maryland there is a crap ton of really nice and secluded houses up there. Depending on the season, a majority of them wont even be occupied.
Now, If all of a sudden, Zombies were in my neighborhood and I didn't have time to load up a car, I would attempt to get as much food to the 2nd floor of my house and then attempt to barricade the stairs with large pieces of furniture. Hopefully I could slow them down enough to get some sort of semi permanent barricade set up.
Another great idea is somehow getting on board a Navy ship. They have everything you need and if you rationed fuel, food, and water, you could last for months. If the ship was already covered in zombies, it would be pretty easy to take control of it and get it underway, granted I had a few guys with guns.
Now, If all of a sudden, Zombies were in my neighborhood and I didn't have time to load up a car, I would attempt to get as much food to the 2nd floor of my house and then attempt to barricade the stairs with large pieces of furniture. Hopefully I could slow them down enough to get some sort of semi permanent barricade set up.
Another great idea is somehow getting on board a Navy ship. They have everything you need and if you rationed fuel, food, and water, you could last for months. If the ship was already covered in zombies, it would be pretty easy to take control of it and get it underway, granted I had a few guys with guns.
for the food and water needs I have a been working on a large stock pile of M.R.E's and the locations of military warehouses that hold rations.
Also learning how to make water potable will be another "trade" worthy skill.
a gallon jug of bleach will go a long way, but 20# of sodium hypochlorite will last you and your family a lifetime,
a stockpile of dry yeast is a must! After the power goes out your frozen yeast banks will be lost along with your washed stuff in the fridge!
The natural gas will flow for about a 1-4 days after the lights go out, depending on how many neighbors you have left, hope for the longer so you can out live the initial surge of zombies.
I suggest that you with underground propane tank, keep them full ! and go find an RV fridge that can be ran off of propane, a full 200 gallon tank in the spring/summer could last you several months wel through the first, second and third wave of zombies !
these are just a few of my ideas
-Jason
Also learning how to make water potable will be another "trade" worthy skill.
a gallon jug of bleach will go a long way, but 20# of sodium hypochlorite will last you and your family a lifetime,
a stockpile of dry yeast is a must! After the power goes out your frozen yeast banks will be lost along with your washed stuff in the fridge!
The natural gas will flow for about a 1-4 days after the lights go out, depending on how many neighbors you have left, hope for the longer so you can out live the initial surge of zombies.
I suggest that you with underground propane tank, keep them full ! and go find an RV fridge that can be ran off of propane, a full 200 gallon tank in the spring/summer could last you several months wel through the first, second and third wave of zombies !
these are just a few of my ideas
-Jason
oh look a Zombie
yeah, I don't think so !
But, I think I may have found Deathbrewer's new assistant
That's my new ass, all right.
It looks more like the modern version of the chastity belt.
I don't want to know where else spikes are sticking out.
I don't want to know where else spikes are sticking out.
you know that could end up being like that Amazonian fish that swims up your umm" tube" and spikes its self in to place when you try to withdraw it!!
ouch!
ouch!
arturo7
Well-Known Member
I think the best bet is solar power or a wind generator. Or maybe a system that burns your spent grains for power.
QueenCityALER
Well-Known Member
Axes are great and maybe a real sharp sword for head removal... I was thinking of efficiency and speed. In this case, a close range shotgun blast to the fore head or back of the head intrigues me. Axe as back up and save ammo. In a pinch fighting multiple zombies at once the old 12 gauge is a sure fire best friend. Chainsaw...
Axes are great and maybe a real sharp sword for head removal... I was thinking of efficiency and speed. In this case, a close range shotgun blast to the fore head or back of the head intrigues me. Axe as back up and save ammo. In a pinch fighting multiple zombies at once the old 12 gauge is a sure fire best friend. Chainsaw...
Chainsaw is intriguing but it's heavy, uses gas, noisy and very messy. You don't want bits and pieces hitting you.
Chainsaw is intriguing but it's heavy, uses gas, noisy and very messy. You don't want bits and pieces hitting you.
That brings up a few questions.
can you catch "Zombie" from the splatter?
how contagious is "Zombie" is it like Mono or more like an STD?
we all know that if you are bit by one you are going to become one!
The Zombie hookers will look much hotter than that....
I think this would make a great double feature...I wrote this up last week in another thread...You could watch them as a double feature but create your own narrative....
My Narrative
But of course the inevitable happens because human beings are selfish bastards (especially strippers), one of them gets bit, and instead of eating a bullet (which any noble self sacrificing person bitten by a zombie SHOULD do,) she has obligatory lesbian stripper group sex (Becasue that's what all strippers do), and bites the rest of them (because of course what's obligatory lesbian stripper sex without some biting)...and then we end up with;
HAWTHAWTHAWT!!!!!
OR NOT...You decide.
I think this would make a great double feature...I wrote this up last week in another thread...You could watch them as a double feature but create your own narrative....
My Narrative
But of course the inevitable happens because human beings are selfish bastards (especially strippers), one of them gets bit, and instead of eating a bullet (which any noble self sacrificing person bitten by a zombie SHOULD do,) she has obligatory lesbian stripper group sex (Becasue that's what all strippers do), and bites the rest of them (because of course what's obligatory lesbian stripper sex without some biting)...and then we end up with;
HAWTHAWTHAWT!!!!!
OR NOT...You decide.
OP
OP
travestyofnature
Well-Known Member
My original plan involved running to Alaska but then it dawned on me that I live in Washington where most of the best hops in the US are grown and I grew up on a wheat and barley farm. Now I've come to the realization that, that idea is freakin stupid.
Need to build a trellis out by the orchard and trade out the craptastic honda motor in my generator for an engine from a duece-and-a-half that will run on gas, deisel or bad beer farts.
Need to build a trellis out by the orchard and trade out the craptastic honda motor in my generator for an engine from a duece-and-a-half that will run on gas, deisel or bad beer farts.
QueenCityALER
Well-Known Member
Chainsaw is intriguing but it's heavy, uses gas, noisy and very messy. You don't want bits and pieces hitting you.
I'm taking a few pointers from Ash, the zombie/demon fighting hero from Evil Dead. Maybe, I,too, should remove my hand and replace with a chainsaw...
Probably better off replacing a leg with a machine gun.
I'd prefer to not be limited to one weapon.
solar and wind generation is a must. they can charge battery banks for not only low freq communications it can also assit in charging capacitors for the security fencing.
then there is communications. so parts to build or have on hand a sw radio along with a transmiter. we should all have them. if you dont go out and get one and ensure it works..
food for a couple months. and seeds and the know how to grow plants. we will have to be migratory so parts for the vehicle is a must as well. oh and the ability to make fuel for the vehicle. since there will be plenty of fat a diesel would be needed. one without all the elctronic crap.
shoe ware is a must. water proof and high ancle protection.
weapons has to be dual purpose and specialized. an axe a BFH a machette these are all dual purpose as you can use them as weapons but also tools. a 410 shotgun. yes 410. they are light easy to wield and you can carry alot more rounds then you can of 12gauge. a 1022 or a couple. these can be converted pretty easy into one hellava machine gun with a cheap kit and are good for small game. that is if the zombievirus isnt capable of mutating to animals like what the umbrella corp created. those bastards.
sewing kit and thread. good for wounds and clothing.
my plan is to travel west and south to yuma az. i believe the heat will dry the things out and the base there has plenty of places to hide and give protection. this also works into the idea of solar and wind power generation. there will be plenty of cells available to harvest on the way over on the side of the roads and cell towers. also on the way over id be looking to save any beautiful damsel in distress. ;-) i mean someone has to keep the human race alive haha
we will all have to discuss what freq we are going to use to keep in touch. how many are able to do morse code?
then there is communications. so parts to build or have on hand a sw radio along with a transmiter. we should all have them. if you dont go out and get one and ensure it works..
food for a couple months. and seeds and the know how to grow plants. we will have to be migratory so parts for the vehicle is a must as well. oh and the ability to make fuel for the vehicle. since there will be plenty of fat a diesel would be needed. one without all the elctronic crap.
shoe ware is a must. water proof and high ancle protection.
weapons has to be dual purpose and specialized. an axe a BFH a machette these are all dual purpose as you can use them as weapons but also tools. a 410 shotgun. yes 410. they are light easy to wield and you can carry alot more rounds then you can of 12gauge. a 1022 or a couple. these can be converted pretty easy into one hellava machine gun with a cheap kit and are good for small game. that is if the zombievirus isnt capable of mutating to animals like what the umbrella corp created. those bastards.
sewing kit and thread. good for wounds and clothing.
my plan is to travel west and south to yuma az. i believe the heat will dry the things out and the base there has plenty of places to hide and give protection. this also works into the idea of solar and wind power generation. there will be plenty of cells available to harvest on the way over on the side of the roads and cell towers. also on the way over id be looking to save any beautiful damsel in distress. ;-) i mean someone has to keep the human race alive haha
we will all have to discuss what freq we are going to use to keep in touch. how many are able to do morse code?
Skins_Brew
Well-Known Member
I dont quite understand everyones need for generating power. Yea, i understand a fridge would be nice, but that **** (food) is going to run out pretty quick, unless you have some serious stockpiles. Unless you have some francy radio transmitter equip, who cares about electricity? It aint like you are going to be watching TV or logging onto HBT when the Zombie Apocolypse hits. Your best bet would to make sure you have a good supply of batteries and a good radio. Hell, one of those crank raidios would be awesome.
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