"You're a lucky man" Grrrr

[Heavenly]

So here's the deal. My wife and I have been happily married for 26 years. We recently moved to a gated community and something strange is happening. My wife is very cute, athletic, bubbly, fun, social, etc etc. I'm not the most social guy in the world, especially in larger groups. More than anything, people describe me as quiet. I'm fine with that as that's me. I'm cool in other ways.

So I've been getting guys (at least 5 now) in my neighborhood come up to me (or even when my wife and I are together) at parties or events and saying "You're a lucky man" to me....regarding my wife. These are mostly single guys or guys that are known around the community as "sleezy" even though they're married. They don't bother to talk to me or get to know me. I looked this up on the "internets" and confirmed what I think it means. It seems like a dig on me as I'm not good enough for her or it's a way to tell her they're interested in her. When they say it to me I immediately think, wow that's weird to say that. Why even say it?

No matter what they're intention is, I am sick of it as it's definitely not a harmless compliment. She thinks it's weird as well and immediately walks off when she hears it. Getting tired of just nodding politely. Anyone got a good comeback to put the sleezy one's in their place?

 

[RPh_Guy]

"In my experience there's no such thing as luck."

 

[Mike_kever_kombi]

Your reply

"I am, I am. In the 26 years year we have been together, the only time we've been apart was when I was in prison, for beating the snot out of a guy that was hitting on my wife at the bar. Nearly cost him his life, and it did cost me my freedom. I'd still do it all over again though"

Or

"Luck may have something to do with it, but more likely than not it's my 10 inch schlong and tantric meditation"

 

[Dland]

Maybe this movie can give you some ideas:

 

[bucketnative]

Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

[mongoose33]

"So you think it's luck, do you?"

 

[day_trippr]

Interesting discussion. I wonder if the venue colors the perception and conclusion - or if it's just populated by skeevy men.
Having been "the husband" receiving similar comments over the decades my inner optimist is wondering "No chance these aren't simply innocent compliments?" while my inner pessimist is now wondering "Wait - maybe those guys were all skeevy!"

Cheers! (So, thanks for that )

ps: The Spousal Unit thinks such things should always be taken as innocent expressions of admiration perhaps rising to jealousy. Of course, she also said "He doesn't own her anyway". Whoa...

 

[bleme]

I've decided that nearly all women 'marry down'. I know mine did...

 

[vtipsy]

I'd probably go with "what are you trying to say *******?" in a joking-not-joking kind of tone.

 

[gunhaus]

You could take the passive aggressive approach and say, "thank you" Then invite them over for a nice bottle of used/recycled homebrew. (Color matches)

 

[Dland]

Interesting discussion. I wonder if the venue colors the perception and conclusion - or if it's just populated by skeevy men.

Hope you're including youself, 'casue I don't see nothin skelvy in most of comments.

I do got to wonder about anyone who would voluntarily enter a gated community, unless required for work. And to bring ones beloved into that worse than HOA vipers nest. If I had that kind of money I'd be headin' out of town for some acreage.

Edit, OP if you have the option, get out of there as soon as you can.

 

[dmtaylor]

They mean well. They're just envious. They'll get over it. So should you.

 

[Zuljin]

I've decided that nearly all women 'marry down'. I know mine did...

There used to be an area here, which shall not be named, but, yeah, that sentiment was well proven.

 

[Heavenly]

Hope you're including youself, 'casue I don't see nothin skelvy in most of comments.

I do got to wonder about anyone who would voluntarily enter a gated community, unless required for work. And to bring ones beloved into that worse than HOA vipers nest. If I had that kind of money I'd be headin' out of town for some acreage.

Edit, OP if you have the option, get out of there as soon as you can.

Exactly what I wanted to do. Get some acreage. Not sure we're sold on this "community".

 

[Heavenly]

They mean well. They're just envious. They'll get over it. So should you.

I've gotten over all of them. Just looking for something clever to say for fun next time.

 

[day_trippr]

Hope you're including youself, 'casue I don't see nothin skelvy in most of comments. [...]

Seriously, read for comprehension and you won't make mistakes like that...

[...]These are mostly single guys or guys that are known around the community as "sleezy" even though they're married. [...] Anyone got a good comeback to put the sleezy one's in their place?

Cheers!

 

[Stand]

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. -George Bernard Shaw

People not talk so real good.

I would extend the benefit of the doubt. Even if you are wrong you're still better off.

 

[vtipsy]

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. -George Bernard Shaw

People not talk so real good.

I would extend the benefit of the doubt. Even if you are wrong you're still better off.

That's far too reasonable a stance but props on a George Bernard Shaw quote.

 

[Stand]

I probably only said it to ruin someone's day.

 

[Heavenly]

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. -George Bernard Shaw

People not talk so real good.

I would extend the benefit of the doubt. Even if you are wrong you're still better off.

5 times? nah.

 

[Dland]

Seriously, read for comprehension and you won't make mistakes like that...Cheers!

Sorry 'bout that man,.. but in my defense I was well into 3rd or 4th pint of a newly tapped keg of 7.2 ABV CAP, and had been working on my Schedule C all day.

 

[dmtaylor]

Sorry 'bout that man,.. but in my defense I was well into 3rd or 4th pint of a newly tapped keg of 7.2 ABV CAP, and had been working on my Schedule C all day.

*dmtaylor nods his head and cracks a half smile, knowing what a Schedule C is, and tickled to be receiving back his "free loan to the govt" before the end of this week*

 

[soccerdad]

This happened to me a few years back, so I tied her up and locked her in the basement.

 

[Heavenly]

This happened to me a few years back, so I tied her up and locked her in the basement.

Lol. Hope you're seeing my point though. Looking for a good reply to these pervs. Got anything?

 

[seatazzz]

Random other guys say the same thing to my husband...but only because I brew the beer.

 

[soccerdad]

Lol. Hope you're seeing my point though. Looking for a good reply to these pervs. Got anything?

There are only 2 things I can think of .. 1. Damn right, I am. And 2. She's a dream come true. I'm not sure either would shut them up.

 

[madscientist451]

No matter what they're intention is, I am sick of it as it's definitely not a harmless compliment. She thinks it's weird as well and immediately walks off when she hears it. Getting tired of just nodding politely. Anyone got a good comeback to put the sleezy one's in their place?

You ARE a lucky man. You live in a gated community. You have a happy marriage with an attractive, athletic, "bubbly" spouse.
Have you ever had a family member or friend die from cancer, a car accident or some other sudden, freak event? When something like that happens, its impossible not to think about how lucky SOME OF US are, and how quickly things can change.
Instead of negative thoughts, like "putting one in his place", how about accepting the compliment, you could say: "yeah, I'm the luckiest guy alive" or "I pinch myself every morning to see if I'm dreaming" or something similar and move on. Maybe those guys are just trying to have a conversation?
Perhaps you should relax and have a homebrew and re-think where you want to go with this isssue?

 

[Stand]

5 times? nah.

I didn't mean it wasn't intentional. I just mean people are pretty crap at knowing how their words sound to other people. You also might be completely right, but I have found myself tilting at windmills more often than slaying dragons.

I got my share of stupid, and I seem to share it more often than not.

I am a fan of Hanlon's Razor - Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Cheers!

 

[ba-brewer]

To the ones you know are married you could say "Funny I was thinking the same thing". You could add "about you" but the other way they don't if you are talking about them or agreeing with them.

If they ask "what do you mean" just reply "You know" and walk away.

 

[Dland]

Some pretty good advice posted above, but I'd still make like a tree:

On a serious note, most if not all of us here are incredibly lucky, if one considers the the state of many others in our rather strange species.

 

[Cyclman]

I would just say “you have no idea” and then give them a big smile.

 

[Heavenly]

To the ones you know are married you could say "Funny I was thinking the same thing". You could add "about you" but the other way they don't if you are talking about them or agreeing with them.

If they ask "what do you mean" just reply "You know" and walk away.

Swinger?

 

[ba-brewer]

Was not suppose say anything, but not since the last time when the chain broke and she cartwheeled across the playground.

 

[downzero]

I would be tremendously flattered if I was in your circumstances, even if the dudes were creepers. Maybe we're all just little boys inside, but whether you've known her for 5 minutes or 26 years, getting to hang out with a hot chick never really gets old. It's kinda the reason we're all here.

People wonder about the meaning of life. For me, the meaning of life is getting to hang out with hot chicks, from any age or era. I've been fortunate to hang out with a few in my time. It isn't an age thing, either, as one of the sexiest women I've ever dated is nearly a decade my senior (well into her 40s).

 

[ultra_cas]

 

[day_trippr]

^Can't beat the classics^

 

[treacheroustexan]

There used to be an area here, which shall not be named, but, yeah, that sentiment was well proven.

but god I miss that area.

 

[Lefou]

Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't really believe in luck, either.
It's a combination of timing, initiative, and acting on a recognized opportunity when it appears.