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When you sit around thinking of excuses to tell the ups man about what the sloshing in the box is, and devise a plan to mask it.
 
I heard about the hops being toxic to dogs but never cats, he doesn't eat them but just rolls around as if they were catnip leaves. And also plays hockey with them.


You know you're a home brewer when all of your musician friends tell you they miss you and have switched from talking to you about music to their curiosity in beer.

And when the Master Brewers Association comes in for a safety meeting at the Brew Pub I work for. I immediately put some brews in the freezer to quick chill before I went to work said banquet.
 
You know you're a home brewer when you experiment with beer flavors that you've never had before...

Not saying it doesn't exist, as i'm sure it does, but I have never had an Orange beer before.

I made a batch of my regular milk stout that is absolutely fantastic... Since I did 10 gallons, I decided to experiment a little with it. I made up a couple of tinctures. One was vanilla from two Madagascar vanilla beans, and the other was orange peels. Both were soaked in vodka for about 2 months now.

I added the vanilla first, and it really softened the roasted notes. It made the "coffee" flavor taste very much like milk chocolate. That alone was pretty good.

I then added orange to it. At first it wasn't very noticeable, but as the beer warmed up (to the temp I prefer my stouts) it came out. It wasn't over powering by the least, but it was apparent.

I kid you not. It tasted like one of those chocolate orange candies you get for christmas. The kind in the foil that you "smash" to break apart. It wasn't sweet and it was just enough to know it was there.

It turned out pretty damn good... I think I'll bottle some and let them sit 'til christmas. I bet it will only get better with some time. Sounds like a great christmas gift.

I'm going to go to the store and get some Creme de Menthe extract to see how it does as an Andes mint beer too...
 
When SWMBO asks you to brew a porter and you tell her a coworker has commissioned an immediate batch of Aztec Porter as a Christmas gift and SWMBO threatens to call the cops about illegal distribution because she wants the beer instead.

When SWMBO wants to snuggle in the morning and you're too busy posting about this and reading 217 pages of HOMEBREWLOL
Man, this is your PRIME opportunity to pick up another fermenter, with SWMBO's permission and even encouragement!
 
Dead on the money. I do this all the time.

http://bearfootbrewer.blogspot.com/

The first rule of Home Brewing is: You do not run out of home brew.
The second rule of Home Brewing is: You Do Not Run Out Of Home Brew.
Third rule of Home Brewing: Someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, they had enough home brew.
Fourth rule: never less than two fermenters going.
Fifth rule: drink one beer at a time, fellas.
Sixth rule: wear shirts, shoes are optional.
Seventh rule: Fermenting will go on as long as it has to.
And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first brew, you have to be patient.
 
dkwolf said:
Man, this is your PRIME opportunity to pick up another fermenter, with SWMBO's permission and even encouragement!

I have a 6.5 gallon Carboy, two 5 gallon carboys and three 5 gallon buckets- I'm alright for a while! I guess you can never have enough but I'm saving for a kegerator. I got 6 free corny kegs from my work that I'll have to clean up and reseal so that's next. And a 20 gallon kettle..or keggle.
 
DarthMalts said:
I have a 6.5 gallon Carboy, two 5 gallon carboys and three 5 gallon buckets- I'm alright for a while! I guess you can never have enough but I'm saving for a kegerator. I got 6 free corny kegs from my work that I'll have to clean up and reseal so that's next. And a 20 gallon kettle..or keggle.

So you have one primary and 5 secondaries. If you don't balance that out, you are going to develop a limp.
 
You know you're a home brewer when you experiment with beer flavors that you've never had before...

Not saying it doesn't exist, as i'm sure it does, but I have never had an Orange beer before.

I made a batch of my regular milk stout that is absolutely fantastic... Since I did 10 gallons, I decided to experiment a little with it. I made up a couple of tinctures. One was vanilla from two Madagascar vanilla beans, and the other was orange peels. Both were soaked in vodka for about 2 months now.

I added the vanilla first, and it really softened the roasted notes. It made the "coffee" flavor taste very much like milk chocolate. That alone was pretty good.

I then added orange to it. At first it wasn't very noticeable, but as the beer warmed up (to the temp I prefer my stouts) it came out. It wasn't over powering by the least, but it was apparent.

I kid you not. It tasted like one of those chocolate orange candies you get for christmas. The kind in the foil that you "smash" to break apart. It wasn't sweet and it was just enough to know it was there.

It turned out pretty damn good... I think I'll bottle some and let them sit 'til christmas. I bet it will only get better with some time. Sounds like a great christmas gift.

I'm going to go to the store and get some Creme de Menthe extract to see how it does as an Andes mint beer too...

You've piqued my interest. Can you give some more specifics on those tinctures, namely the amt of vodka and how much orange peel? Also, I assume you used organic oranges?

Your sweet stout recipe would be welcomed as well.
 
...when your pre-chiller is a 60 feet of copper frozen into a block of ice and your chiller is another 60 feet of copper transformed into a nice wort chiller. Best part is that last brew session you used a $5 walmart bucket and 2 ten pound bags of ice. Not becoming too obsessed am I?

Prechiller and chiller.jpg
 
...when your pre-chiller is a 60 feet of copper frozen into a block of ice and your chiller is another 60 feet of copper transformed into a nice wort chiller. Best part is that last brew session you used a $5 walmart bucket and 2 ten pound bags of ice. Not becoming too obsessed am I?

Nope.

After Saturday night's brewing I realized my freezer can not make and store enough ice to chill water for the pond pump to circulate through the IC (sorry no pre-chiller. Might be the next step.). It hit me that I have an empty ice chest and an ice machine at work. The new plan is fill the ice chest full at work, bury the pond pump at the bottom and add water. Hello 50lb ice bath :rockin:


Home brewer when:
You begin to run low on bottles and brewing ingredients causing you to consider the fact that storage will be an issue in the future. Then realize winter is a good thing, the garage stays cold enough to use for more storage for the next 3-4 months.
 
insanim8er said:
The first rule of Home Brewing is: You do not run out of home brew.
The second rule of Home Brewing is: You Do Not Run Out Of Home Brew.
Third rule of Home Brewing: Someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, they had enough home brew.
Fourth rule: never less than two fermenters going.
Fifth rule: drink one beer at a time, fellas.
Sixth rule: wear shirts, shoes are optional.
Seventh rule: Fermenting will go on as long as it has to.
And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first brew, you have to be patient.
I'm going to have this hung up in my brew shed
 
You find the thermometer (electric) that you forgot to take out of your pocket in the lint trap of the dryer.

You have 16 cases of beer in the basement and are still worried about coming up with enough bottles for the 8 cases you've got fermenting
 
When you break the floating thermometer,but you see it's only the rounded end that popped a hole in it. So you use it anyway,since the rest of it is still intact & functional. And you have an All Temp laser pen in reserve.
 
The first rule of Home Brewing is: You do not run out of home brew.
The second rule of Home Brewing is: You Do Not Run Out Of Home Brew.
Third rule of Home Brewing: Someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, they had enough home brew.
Fourth rule: never less than two fermenters going.
Fifth rule: drink one beer at a time, fellas.
Sixth rule: wear shirts, shoes are optional.
Seventh rule: Fermenting will go on as long as it has to.
And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first brew, you have to be patient.

If this is your own handiwork, I salute you sir.

If not, then I thank you heartily for passing it along.

B-)

That's your million dollar t-shirt idea right there....
 
When your entire fridge smells like the hops you've been saving for dryhopping your IPA and you find yourself doing what the people in a Febreeze commercial do over and over again.
 
When it's holiday dishes filling the fridge time,& she asks if you're going to use all those jars of yeast in the fridge,as she needs the room next week!...:drunk::confused:...not to mention,the two styles of holiday beers chilling in there!
 
When your first reaction after getting a speeding ticket is knowing what you'll be doing while waiting on the boil.
 

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