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You are on the mailing list for all 3 LHBSs in driving range and are still considering ordering online for new stuff...

Your hubby doesn't care where the beer is coming from (while you are considering moving from pre-hopped kits to AG) as long as it is good

You no longer regret letting the hubby by a welder for bike stuff once you realise he can build a rocking brew tower...

Edit: just catching typing errors...
 
... as part of the "New Year's Cleaning" regime, not only do you disassemble the shelves in your fridge and wash them in Oxyclean, but you sanitize them afterward.
 
I pitched the yeast and everything was ready to go, I was putting the airlock into the little rubber grommet that fits on the pail lid, when the grommet pooped through the lid and into my wort, sinking all the way to the bottom. I thought about leaving it and using another grommet that I had but was worrying about it adding a rubber taste to the beer. So, since I couldn't find it with the ladel... I put my whole arm all the way to my elbow in to retrieve it. NOworries....

........................
 
You look at the bottom of the water bottles every time you go into a grocery store to see what number is inside the recycling code.
 
Lol, re the whole arm wort fishing expedition! Yesterday I dumped my whole starter including the magnet into the primary. I really thought about arm fishing for 1/2 a second and then realized it was a pretty bad idea... then.. for any of us old enough to remember the movie 'The Andromeda Strain' I thought about all the levels of clean I would have to put my arm through so it might be clean enough to perform such an operation. I admit this much: I did take a strong magnet and attempt to fish it out from the outside but instantly (well almost instantly) calculated the hardship involved with somehow lifting the filled fermenter with one arm and using the magnet with the other, or better yet having SWMBO use the magnet (better to hold the bucket but that isn't happening too soon)... quickly gave up on this effort and have convinced myself that the bleepin' magnet is not going to effect the taste of my beer... (but will it tragically align the yeast in some bizzare fashion?... nah as much as a magnet bed cures your ills this little stir bar will not screw the brew...)

Here's to any psychotic beer paranoia thoughts anyone might have...

:mug:
 
When you go to the SWMBO’s Holiday party, in a private room of a local restaurant, investigate the menu, briefly interrogate the waitress, and promptly order an iced tea. Then, a short time later when a guy (with a bottle of Bud Light in his hand) walks up and says… “Joe? dude, why are you drinking tea? This is a party man!”. You reply with, “because they don’t serve beer here”. When the guy shoves the heretical bottle in your face and says “what the F---- is this????”, you calmly smile at the cocky bastard and say “buddy, if you pointed a gun at my head and forced me to choose between that fizzy yellow skunk piss and drinking out of the toilet downstairs… I’d have to flip a coin…. since you don’t have a gun at my head, I suggest you get that abomination out of my face before I shove it up your a……”
So much for the explicit instructions from SWMBO to “behave myself”……. But darling, I did behave myself, I behaved badly….”
 
When you go to the SWMBO’s Holiday party, in a private room of a local restaurant, investigate the menu, briefly interrogate the waitress, and promptly order an iced tea. Then, a short time later when a guy (with a bottle of Bud Light in his hand) walks up and says… “Joe? dude, why are you drinking tea? This is a party man!”. You reply with, “because they don’t serve beer here”. When the guy shoves the heretical bottle in your face and says “what the F---- is this????”, you calmly smile at the cocky bastard and say “buddy, if you pointed a gun at my head and forced me to choose between that fizzy yellow skunk piss and drinking out of the toilet downstairs… I’d have to flip a coin…. since you don’t have a gun at my head, I suggest you get that abomination out of my face before I shove it up your a……”
So much for the explicit instructions from SWMBO to “behave myself”……. But darling, I did behave myself, I behaved badly….”

This is one of my favorite posts ever! Wish I could have seen this happen.
 
“Behavior = FAIL”
I agree…. But all attempts at being polite were thrown out with yesterday’s trub when he shoved the effing bottle in my face….. I thought I was doing well by not just giving him a “Bud-Light suppository” right there in front of everybody!

Oh, the SRM of the tea was 12.5 by my estimate….
 
I have alternated ever since between feeling ashamed that I allowed myself to snap, and laughing myself silly... I guess I was a bit "cranky", I had my heart set on a beer (the tea sucked too) Oh well, the guy is a real dirt-bag anyway... and like my Daddy always told me... "son, don't ever trust a man with a girls first name that drinks Bud-Light..."
 
You open the fridge and see something you put in clear glass and worry about it getting skunked, only to realize its spaghetti sauce...
 
You begin to wonder what the grains meant for livestock at Tractor Supply would taste like if you brewed it up.
 
When you re-route your vacation route to try a seasonal IPA so you can taste Citra hops....
 
you are the only one at work who notices that Univex makes a mixer model SRM30+.
 
Your sitting in the emergency room staring at all the tubes and gadgets wondering..........can I find a way to incorperate those things into my rig? I am sure the hospital won't miss that stuff.
 
When you go to buy beer, and only grab bottles with pop caps.

When you freak out after seeing a brew pail being used as a garbage can.
(Actually happened. A person didn't know what it was and used it as a garbage can.)
 
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