You know you're a brewer if...

[Netflyer]

When you share in this incredulous feeling:

(Actually happened. A person didn't know what it was and used it as a garbage can.)

 

[Pickngrin]

...you're more into false bottoms than fake breasts.

 

[Guntr]

You ask a waitress what beer they have, she says "Everything", then you rhyme of 30+ beers they don't have.

In college you always brought a 24 to a party to share... weekly.

 

[gmtech825]

when someone mentions green beer you dont think of heineken

 

[Token]

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f39/dropped-my-cell-phone-into-boiling-wort-156749/

 

[kmack747]

go to the party store and ask to see their selection of empties

 

[gtpro]

This morning I took out a bowl for cereal when I noticed a bit of dried food on it that the dishwasher had missed. Box of cereal in hand, I actually said to myself "I can just rack on top of that."

 

[EvilTOJ]

You begin to wonder what the grains meant for livestock at Tractor Supply would taste like if you brewed it up.

I was at the feed store yesterday buying some chicken feed, and looking through their menu at their grain selection. No barley, but I did see a 50 lb bag of cut oats for $15. Got me to thinking how many stouts I could make....

Then I realized I'm not a huge fan of stouts, so I threw out that idea. I should ask them to start stocking malted barley for me

 

[brewagentjay]

<--Newbie here, but how about you are thinkig of skipping work because your brewing equipment and first beer kit is being delievered today...........

 

[rmolledo]

when you buy apple juice not for the juice, but for the perfect 1 gal fermentor in which it occupies.

When you replace all the potpourie in the house with Hops.

When you find yourself sneaking homebrew into restaurants and weddings.

When you have brewing equipment stashed away in a secret hiding spot JUST in case prohibition is ever reinstated.

 

[rmolledo]

......when you spend more time at work on this and other beer sites then doing actual work

...oops, im at work right now...

 

[ardentfrost]

When you're at someone's house, notice they're using a carboy for some decorative purpose (maybe to hold loose change), and you try to think of some way to liberate it so it can fulfill its true purpose at your house.

 

[rmolledo]

I just read all the pages and LOL at the cop thing. I was brewing at a buddys house and 3 squads drove by slow, then one finally noticed what we were doing and just waved. After brewing I went home and the last cop saw my squad in my driveway and asked what we were doing, he will now probably be my backup for life.

I was pulled over the other day for rolling a stop sign and I had two 22oz bottles of homebrew on the passanger seat, buckled in. He asked what it was and I told him it was homebrew. He let me go with just a warning.

 

[Lunarpancake]

your friends father (whom you consider a bit of a brew connoisseur) is finally convinced to try a taste of your newest brew. He insists on only a sip since due to the hour he should be asleep anyways. He sips, smiles, and asks for a little bit more because he couldn't "judge" it by the small half glass you gave him to taste.

 

[rmolledo]

you judged obama not on his policy, but on what beer he decided to drink durring that professior/cop beer date.

 

[Narnad]

-When your two year old points out any beer bottle, beer sign or beer billboard as "daddies beer".

-When said two year old tells the bubbling fermenters "Good night" and "Good morning".

-When the firefighters, who are there investigating a possible carbon monoxide leak, call you inside saying "Ah, the levels are low enough. What beers are you brewing up?"

 

[SkiSoloII]

You ask a waitress what beer they have, she says "Everything", then you rhyme of 30+ beers they don't have.

This drives my SWMBO crazy. Whenver they say "everything," her first remark is "don't tell him that, do you have a beer list?"

 

[thebigt85]

When you look at the water cooler at work and wonder if it could somehow be converted into a fermenter and check to see if the bottles are PET

 

[BenjaminR]

You ask a waitress what beer they have, she says "Everything", then you rhyme of 30+ beers they don't have.

Or they say "We have a LOT just name one I bet we have it."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I always ask for a list

Then I just want to shoot them in the face after they tell me there is no list and have said no to about 5 beers I have inquired about.

Drives me bonkers.


Also as a brewer and a bit of a fabricator I always am attracted to large stainless steel things that I dream about turning into brewing equipment. Mmmm stainless steel!

 

[Brocster]

......Your 7 year old tells her teacher at school that Daddy's favorite beer turned out a little too hoppy.

 

[philrose]

......Your 7 year old tells her teacher at school that Daddy's favorite beer turned out a little too hoppy.

awesome. would have loved to see the teacher's face.

 

[annasdadhockey]

...when your 4 year old tells you she's putting her juice on the table "to let it warm"

 

[Token]

Or they say "We have a LOT just name one I bet we have it."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I always ask for a list

Then I just want to shoot them in the face after they tell me there is no list and have said no to about 5 beers I have inquired about.

Drives me bonkers.

Then they'll say, "Well, what do you want?" Anything that's not Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Lite, Bush Lite, ...." And they look like a deer caught in the headlights. You just know they're thinking, "But that's all we have!" sigh....

 

[slowbie]

When you pull into a parking lot, see an empty bottle on the ground, and go park in the closest spot so you can check if it's a pop top so you can use it.

 

[Chaos_Being]

When, after boiling up an AG batch in your garage, you cool it off in your driveway with an immersion cooler, and get crazed looks from your neighbors. (I think she thought I was making meth or something, she slow walked past my house at least 3 times, lol.)

 

[lady_brewer]

When you drop one of the LHBSs from your rotation because they told you "never to boil a kit because it will get rid of the hops" - not even waiting to let you finish asking the question about extract brewing...

 

[Doc Robinson]

When you **** in your jeans because you are too involved in a thread on yeast slanting on HBT...and then you find yourself on your knees in your guest bathroom tub with a pair of ****ty jeans on the floor and your ******* under the faucet to rinse out the epicenter and surrounding territories and then trying to explain to your wife the next morning why there is a pair of **** filled jeans on the bathroom floor that you were too drunk to remember to clean out the night before...that is when you know you are a brewer.

 

[Pickngrin]

....under the faucet to rinse out the epicenter and surrounding territories....

ROFLMAO!!! epicenter and surrounding territories.
Sorry, carry on.

 

[rjgiddings]

Buying a secondary fermentor / priming bucket and racking cane before SWMBO even notices direct deposit Fridays... Mmm. Beer, it's whats for dinner.

 

[ibbones]

ROFLMAO!!! epicenter and surrounding territories.
Sorry, carry on.

Baaahahahahahahahaha...Me too!!!!

 

[Netflyer]

When you find yourself sitting on a frozen deck alone in the dark with a pair of pliers chasing kinks in only hose you have that is not frozen attached to your chiller, it's 11pm, 15F out and you have to get this water circulating! Oh, and btw the water is being routed through the house bathroom sink via a 50 ft kinked up hose and out the slider to the deck, and yes, the slider is open the width of the garden hose and yes, 'The f'in draft is coming inside!' (I know this, duh - can't help it... it's for BEEEEER)

 

[Hotspur]

When you find yourself sitting on a frozen deck alone in the dark with a pair of pliers chasing kinks in only hose you have that is not frozen attached to your chiller, it's 11pm, 15F out and you have to get this water circulating! Oh, and btw the water is being routed through the house bathroom sink via a 50 ft kinked up hose and out the slider to the deck, and yes, the slider is open the width of the garden hose and yes, 'The f'in draft is coming inside!' (I know this, duh - can't help it... it's for BEEEEER)

Use the complaint as an excuse to pick up a decent sized cooler and a sump pump. I've been using that this winter, and it's REALLY great. Fill cooler with snow/ice, add water, submerge pump, put output back into cooler, turn on. Saves water, no drafts and I don't have to screw around with any outdoor faucets. Just take the pump OUT of water and bring it in when you're done.

The downside is that since a lot of our snow melted, I was having to make a lot of trips with a bucket to gather chunks of snow to put into the cooler. Funny how things you do in the snow when you're 5 become useful later!

 

[rrmiller]

Your vacation pictures look like this

 

[Nysh]

You walk through the health food store, and your eyes google out at all the cool grains and sugar alternatives there are to brew with.

You laugh at the ancient skunkflakes the health food store passes off as "dried hops" in their medicinal section.

 

[joety]

Your vacation pictures look like this

You're actually jealous of these vacation pictures and the last time you were outside of the states was the Cayman Islands.

 

[BierMuncher]

Your vacation pictures look like this

Dude, those pictures rock.

You suck...and I hate you...

 

[coachburke14]

Your vacation pictures look like this

Pics look awesome! Looks like you ha a great time!

 

[rrmiller]

Special thanks to SWMBO for driving while in the UK......and being patient whenever I saw a pub with CAMRA out front....and letting me drag her to beer parlors in Bruges.....

 

[mordantly]

the 5# hops in the freezer utilizes more space than the food.

 

[mordantly]

Your vacation pictures look like this

im... jealous. i wish i could orchestrate such a bad ass time!