Worst Dumb Mistake You've Made While Drunk?

[Alamo_Beer]

nothing really horrible but I did sh!t my pants in Germany.....

 

[Radarbrew]

Okay, rock climbing at night in the Mojave, trying to do that "Clint Eastwood chimney climb" in Eiger Sanction. Could not figure out why it was so damned hard to keep my footing (I ruled out the alcohol of course) Anyhow I kept slipping until I whacked my head on a sand ceiling...WTF? It was the ground. I had gotten turned around in the pitch dark, and climbed down this stupid thing. Then I asked my buddy to light something so I could see what I was doing and he torches this tumbleweed cluster in the crevice I was in. Let me tell you, I've never been to hell, but that was how hot and huge this fire was. I lost all exposed body hair, save my head, and my climbing harness turned to molten plastic and stuck to my jeans.
Don't drink as much anymore, but still love that movie....

 

[BrianTheBrewer]

Wow I have a ton of good ones...high school was insane.
Funny this topic comes up after what has happened to me this past weekend.

Well I dont remember much of it but...

Having a bbq this past weekend over a friends house. Was having a very good time. Was drinking a few Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and some Dogfish 60 Min. Guess I had a few more then I thought. I was outside of my friends house talking and the next thing I know im on the ground bleeding from all over. I was walking I guess and did not see a bush in front of me and walked right into it. Fell right over, slapped my face off the driveway, cut up my whole knee and busted up my shoulder. Now this is not like me. I am not that kind of drunk, im the one sitting on the couch usually with a big smile, or laughing alot or passed out on the lawn or something thats all. So next thing I know im in my friends bathroom getting cleaned up. My face looks awful. After that it is all kinda fuzzy.

I woke up the next morning on my couch in the living room when my girlfriend comes down stairs asking if I remember what happened last night. I said I knew I fell. She then told me that I also fell down our basement steps. Like fell down all of them. Thats when I got up and felt the pain in my back. Now I do not even remember coming home Saturday night and also dont remember falling down stairs.

My whole body hurts. This sux because I work in a emergency room and everyone this week has seen me in the shape im in. Pretty pathetic.

I learned a good leason this past weekend. This does not happen to me alot, it actually never happens to me but I realize I gotta watch myself because next time I could be hurt even worse or even dead.

What a happy story

 

[BrianTheBrewer]

Well im at work right now and dont have much going on because it is a nice night here so...

While in Germany a few years back woke up on the deck face down in snow while I was ummmmm naked. Dont remember how I got there either. Was drinking with a few people in the hotel bar after the bar closed they opened up some amazing wine and then it went downhill from there...im still wondering to this day how I was naked...

 

[MikeFlynn74]

Stupidest? Allowed my exwife to come over for some booty call- hour later the girlfriend showed up. Too bad I didnt work it into a 3some!

 

[MikeFlynn74]

Oh yea there was that one time I got into a fight with the dresser. No Idea,

 

[PeteOz77]

Well, if I had a dollar for every time I did something stupid while intoxicated... I could buy a LOT of beer!

 

[EvilTOJ]

I don't get smashed too often, and when I do, I don't really do much of anything (stupid or otherwise). When I get druck, I just talk. And talk. And talk.

Sounds like you'd fit right in in the drucken chat! I have several drunken stories, but I'll start off with the one that swore me off whiskey forever.

 

[EvilTOJ]

Let's see, we were at a huge bonfire party. This was out in the semi-sticks, with lots of acreage for bonfires. In fact, the host had picked up a few couches and pallets off of craigslist for the bonfire. For sitting on, and burnination of course! :rockin: There's a small almost-ampitheater like gully in the ground where a ton of people can just sit around and watch the flames. It was really awesome.

So a few hours into it, the fire is sorta died down, and we're all druck and happy. I decided that it would be a GREAT idea to jump over the pile of dying embers in the middle of this depression. I proclaim my intentions to the group, and of course no one tried to stop me. Hate them. Anyways, so I walk up the hill, and proceed to run full tilt down towards the fire. Did I mention that we have damp weather here in the Northwest, and the ground is slippery and muddy almost all the time? I plant my foot to leap over the fire, and that's when I slipped in the mud. I flew over the fire, but not upright, oh no. This was almost exactly sideways and horizontal, arms flailing comically in the air. I land hard on the ground on the other side, muddy, dazed and confused, but none the worse for wear. My charming wife yells out YOU ******* and hilarity ensues.

 

[EvilTOJ]

At this same party, I decided to be civilized and use the restroom like a proper gentleman instead of relieving himself in the bushes like a savage. I find the bathroom and do my business. As I go to turn the knob to the doorhandle, it pops out into my hand! Curses! So in my inebriated state I try to put the handle back together. I somehow manage to knock the other doorknob off completely. "Great!" I think. "Now I can just push the door open". It's stuck. The locking mechanism for the doorknob is still in the door, and won't come out without tools. I have no tools.

I figure, hey there's like 50 people here, SOMEone else will want to use the bathroom, I'll just wait. Twenty minutes go by. No one. Hmm..... Well, F this, I'm going to break out of here. I see there's a window so I open it, expecting to climb to freedom.

There's bars on the window. I am not amused.

It's not just the up-and-down bars either, it's one solid beam, with a cross-piece horizontal across it. I decide to wait a little longer for rescue. This was before we had cellphones, so I couldn't call for help either.

"**** it I'm not being stuck in the bathroom all night!" I think to myself, in my intoxicated state. I proceed to take my jacket and hat off, and stove them through the open window. I then squeeze my head through, then my arms, then my squishy torso. I had problems getting my legs through, as I didn't want to land headfirst on the aforementioned slippery mud. I finally got through without injury, and went to go find the host. I told him the doorknob came off the bathroom door. He said "OH yea, it does that sometimes." I also told him I had to get out through the window because no one came to rescue me. He looked at me like I'd just sprouted another face and said "There's bars on those windows!" I said yea, but I got through it.

The next day I looked at that window, and there is NO way I would have tried getting through it sober. I swear it was just barely big enough for my head and pelvis to fit through.


But I'm feeling MUCH better now.

 

[Chris_Dog]

While living in Atl. my room mate was talking with some girls in Myrtle Beach SC. They talked us into driving up despite it being late already. (I'm sure it wasn't hard to do). We spent all day on the beach drinking and the girls had a party that evening. That is about all I can remember until the next morning. I woke up under a palm tree with no memory of where I was, knowing there aren't palms in Atlanta. It took me better than an hour to remember (my car clued me in). That was some scary sh!t for that hour. To this day I can't remember what the girls looked like.
Mainly I say it was stupid because of all the drunk driving. Hey I was young, dumb, and full of ***.

 

[DeathBrewer]

Decided "Yeah, playing this drinking game with Ouzo is a smart plan!"

oh...no...i've been there.

 

[Laurel]

oh...no...i've been there.

For christmas one year, a secret santa got me shotglass checkers. I can't even begin to tell you what a bad idea that is.

 

[RICLARK]

I think the worst was a few years ago I went to Canada with my best friend and his family and a few of our friends for a floor hockey tournment. I was really trying hard to hook up with, date or whatever you wanna call it, with my best friends cousin. Well we all went out and got trashed and I went back to her room with her and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night and pi$$ing in her suitcase I never remembered doing it and she was not very happy or lovey doevy anymore.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Feeling up the wife!

And it's too bad I don't remember it cause I am told it wasn't even my wife.:cross:


A total fallacy...............I remeber it all and I wasn't even drunk.

 

[Glibbidy]

Her name was Molly.

 

[TexLaw]

Heading off on my own during Mardi Gras in New Orleans when I was 20 and waking up in a parking lot the next morning. I had absolutely no idea where I was until I wandered around for about a half hour. Fortunately, I still had my wallet, shoes, clothes, and life. That may not actually have been the worst dumb drunk mistake I've ever made, but it sure could have been.


TL

 

[BDiddy]

I had some friends over one night and got pretty wasted. We go outside (it was about 1AM) in the yard and start acting like idiots when my buddy goes next door and get my neighbors kids Spiderman Bike and rides it around the yard.

I get on it (I'm 6'4" and about 300lbs at that time) and start doinf bunny hops. Barefoot. Well the pedal breaks off and the end of the metal post that the pedal is mounted on gouges up into the arch of my right foot.

I remember laying there in the grass yelling for a "Bambulance" I finally stager up and commence running around the yard with a crazy pain in my foot.

I finish my drunkin stupor and walk up on the porch to see my foot bleeding like CARZY!! With grass and whatnots stuck up in the cut. We couldn't find anything to cover it with so we used paper towels and packing tape!

I slept with it elevated that night and went the next morning to get 6 stitches in the arch of my foot. You should have seen the nurses face, she said, "What kind of tape is this?"!!

Good Times indeed.

 

[andypenning]

After many shots of 151, I passed out on the toilet in the bar's only restroom. I locked the door so they had to break in. From what I'm told there was a line of (pissed off) people who saw me with my pants down and my head in my boxers. I don't think I took a **** in there...

 

[skeeordye11]

So, last year I decided to go meet up with some friends in PA to celebrate Mardi Gras with the intentions of carrying on to see the now current SWMBO for the second time the following day. Apparently I had a few too many jello shots that evening because I got in a fight with a paper towel dispenser (very unlike me typically) and then proceded to leave my friends without telling them in search of the car. Well, walking down an alley, I fell into a snow bank and was unable to stand back up on my own. Fortunately, there were some nice police officers that came to my aid and helped me to my feet and inside the police station that I had fallen behind. Last thing I remember, I was standing up getting frisked for like the 3rd time and then I wake up in a jail cell, with different clothes on (no underwear?) with no recollection of how I had changed. When I finally got out, I had 30 missed calls from my friends and the SWMBO. How exactly do you call a girl that you just started seeing to tell her you're running a little late because you just got let out of the county jail for public druckedness? Needless to say, she still let me come visit!

 

[FromZwolle]

ok. let's bring thread back.

A good buddy of mine, whilst in college, went to a house party and had way too many drinks when another friend of his came to visit. The story goes-he woke up in his dorm, had to go back to the party to find his wallet, and was told by the 'hosts' that for no clear reason he decided to throw his own wallet onto the roof the night before. classic.

 

[superfluent]

OK. Personally, except for posting here, the thing I've been repeatedly reminded of was when we where out at the annual company sailing event and I "missplaced" the plexi-glass door to the cabin of our big ass sailboat.

The event is legendary for the "grill, sauna and binge drinking eavning" and I since I had to go for "number two" I jumped over to my boat, detached the detachable door, sat it down on the spray-hood and watched it slide across the boat down in the water. Thing is the nigts are cold as hell at that time of the year and it was raining heavilly so I wasn't really that popular.

To make it even worse, what to me looked like a cheapo piece of plastics turned out to be a custom made, race grade door and the owner of the boat who had rented it to us later refused to repay the $5000 safety deposit and demanded an exact replacement and it took my boss and a couple of lawyers almost two years (!)to settle the dispute (and probably cost a lot more than 5000).

Just to compensate for everyone on my boat almost freezing to death the nigt before, the next eavening of binge drinking me and my workmate figured we should at least try to fix the problem with the septic tank on the boat before going to bed. Big mistake. On the other hand the missing door came in handy because I can ensure you that an overfilled septic tank that backfire and spray paint the toilet walls with gallons worth of highly preassurized fecies does not smell like roses.

Let's just say that apart from the smell, it ain't really that fun to get it on you either, since you now have nowhere to wash yourself up but in the sea, which is ~40F and nowhere to get warm after washing up...

Finally, day three we leave the secluded life of sail-racing int the archipelago for a night at Sandhamn, a legendary island with a nice restaurant, great nightlife and a mindboggling concentration of *********s. Now, since we're around other drunk people someone comes up with the brilliant idea to remove and hide the (detachable) bow-ladder to keep "the other drunk people" from boarding the boat and use it as a party platform too easily. Naturally when we get back to the boat, the first guy -in his slightly hazy condition- drops the ladder into the sea and we can't get aboard our now so carefully sanatized boat...luckilly for us, one of the girls managed to sweet-talk the coastguard stationed on the island to help us board the boat from the stern using their RIB

H

 

[BBKing]

A few summers ago when I had just moved back to Central IL from Tucson AZ I went to see a DMB tribute band on the riverfront in Peoria IL. I had gotten pretty wasted before even leaving to see the show and of course I over-served myself while there.

At some point I decided that I would get on stage (small concert, no security) and just kept doing it. At one point the bass player literally kicked me off by putting his foot to my back and shoving forward.

At the end of the show the drummer came out and handed a drumstick to me (awesome! a DMB tribute band drumstick!) and I put it in my pocket. A female friend helped me walk back to our vehicle when some ********* walked up next to me and took my drumstick out of my pocket.

I followed him to the parking lot, where he promptly pulled out a billy club out of nowhere and whooped my ass with it. I was about to get outta dodge but saw an opportunity to double leg him, got em on the ground, and choked him out.

Got up, noticed the blood running down my chest, my female friend crying like a 6 year old, and my head hurt.

Came back to town, went to the hospital and had 10 staples put in my dome.

The funny thing is that the hospital nurses said I had 9 staples in there. But when I pulled em out there were 10! And I was the drunk one eh?

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

The worst dumb mistake I have made while being drunk is;

sobering up.

 

[HoppyDaze]

I one time told my girlfriend she needs to trim her HOO-HA...that was a mistake

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I one time told my girlfriend she needs to trim her HOO-HA...that was a mistake

That never works lest she gets a mouth full of her own pubes.

 

[david_42]

Other than parking my car and not remembering where ...

 

[WPStrassburg]

I'm told it was a parking meter, but I don't remember the drunk dial at 3am, but I do remember the 1/2" piece of glass stuck in my pinky the next morning.

Or playing frogger crossing Rt 70 in NJ from the bar to our hotel and having no recollection of why I was lying in the middle of the road laughing, had a snapped of antenna the next morning, or if the road caused the scraped up elbows & knees.

 

[DeathBrewer]

Let's just say I've had a few sexual encounters that didn't feel as "right" the morning after

 

[HoppyDaze]

^^^ well I hope you at least got the gender correct....