When is it ok to ask people to chip in for ingredients?

[asidrane]

that would just be silly. if the OP didn't want all the brew to be drank, a simple statement to that fact should have left him with some beer. i think the lack of preparedness and the unwillingness to speak up has left the OP a bit salty, probably more with himself than others when it comes right down to it. it's just easier to point the finger at ones wife or in laws than to say to yourself 'well, guess i shoulda planned ahead'. it's also easier to say, after the fact that it's so and so's fault instead of simply informing so and so that you didn't want all of your homebrew drunk over the 3 day visit in the first place. it's sort of passive/aggressive (not to mention pointless) to gripe about it to HBT when it would've been very easy to prevent the happenings of which the gripe is about.

Now that you've given OP these suggestions, he knows how to handle the situation in the future. The post wasn't just to complain, it was to get advice.

 

[asidrane]

His wife said "help yourself"...that is giving it away...and why should they be interested in "giving" back in the first place? If you are invited over to friends/family's house for dinner and you have an extra helping of food, are you expected to pitch in for groceries because of it?

I dunno, if I'm having people over at your house for dinner, then the food/booze, etc. is on me. Asking people to "throw in" for taking part seems tacky to me, no matter how much they drink/eat/etc.

I agree, I would never ask anyone to throw in. However, when I am invited to someone's house, I always ask what I can bring and even if they say nothing, I bring dessert, wine or something else for everyone to enjoy.

 

[Zamial]

I have no idea how the laws are in Canada. I assume they are like that of the US. You may be able to sell it in your home as far as I know...

I can tell you that it is real easy to explain to people "The beer is free, the ingredients are not." and put out a Tip/Donation jar or pass it around. The other option is a tasting exchange. Come over with a 6-12 pack and we can taste some of your beer and some of mine, feel free to leave the leftovers.

 

[ajbram]

In case people missed it, yes it was a bummer that my beer disappeared. I also mentioned that I was thrilled that it was so well received. On the balance I took it as a compliment.

For the record, I did say to them that I had wanted to keep some to age for a bit prior to anyone having any, and also pointed them towards some mead that I had brewed and towards a case of Labatt Blue which was available as well.

I should point out that I am more than happy to share my creations with the people I care about, and this is one of the things I like most about home brewing. I would NEVER dream of offering someone some home brew then insisting they pay for what they took. NEVER EVER!


The thing that got to me was that when the fridge was empty, people took it upon themselves to go into the brew room and re-stock for themselves, while I was in the kitchen with my wife cooking xmas dinner. I had no idea this was going on until I went to have a pint the day after boxing day and there was no beer to be had. Up until then, I had no idea that anyone had been in my brew room helping themselves.

I'm not pissed that they drank it all. I'm more pissed that they did so without asking and knowing that I had wanted to save some. If I was at someone's house and noticed that there were only 6 home-brews left out of an original 40, while a full case of commercial beer sat uncracked in the fridge, I would leave the home-brews alone. It just struck me as a bit of a ****** move to drink them all in such a sneaky way.

This was not an isolated incident and I should have known better. These are the same in-laws that cleaned me out of craft brew at thanksgiving (which is why the case of labatt's was present).

There, now that you all know the whole story, is it appropriate to suggest that they contribute something to keep the pipeline from running dry, or should I just cut off their supply of good booze and drink mine in front of them?

 

[copyright1997]

In case people missed it, yes it was a bummer that my beer disappeared. I also mentioned that I was thrilled that it was so well received. On the balance I took it as a compliment.

For the record, I did say to them that I had wanted to keep some to age for a bit prior to anyone having any, and also pointed them towards some mead that I had brewed and towards a case of Labatt Blue which was available as well.

I should point out that I am more than happy to share my creations with the people I care about, and this is one of the things I like most about home brewing. I would NEVER dream of offering someone some home brew then insisting they pay for what they took. NEVER EVER!

The thing that got to me was that when the fridge was empty, people took it upon themselves to go into the brew room and re-stock for themselves, while I was in the kitchen with my wife cooking xmas dinner. I had no idea this was going on until I went to have a pint the day after boxing day and there was no beer to be had. Up until then, I had no idea that anyone had been in my brew room helping themselves.

I'm not pissed that they drank it all. I'm more pissed that they did so without asking and knowing that I had wanted to save some. If I was at someone's house and noticed that there were only 6 home-brews left out of an original 40, while a full case of commercial beer sat uncracked in the fridge, I would leave the home-brews alone. It just struck me as a bit of a ****** move to drink them all in such a sneaky way.

This was not an isolated incident and I should have known better. These are the same in-laws that cleaned me out of craft brew at thanksgiving (which is why the case of labatt's was present).

There, now that you all know the whole story, is it appropriate to suggest that they contribute something to keep the pipeline from running dry, or should I just cut off their supply of good booze and drink mine in front of them?

You should do nothing. Your wife should in private and of her own accord explain to her family that what they did was inappropriate.

Asking them to pay you is crass, but making less available to them isn't.
Finally, if you can't trust them and have multiple incidents, YOU need to discuss with YOUR wife the rules for people being in the house.

 

[mewithstewpid]

by far the best part of homebrewing is sharing with people. you should not be upset with anyone, just go have fun and brew some more!

 

[broadbill]

You should do nothing. Your wife should in private and of her own accord explain to her family that what they did was inappropriate.

Asking them to pay you is crass, but making less available to them isn't.
Finally, if you can't trust them and have multiple incidents, YOU need to discuss with YOUR wife the rules for people being in the house.

+1 to this; and if you want to keep some hide it so there isn't any confusion on what can get drunk and what can't. If you are going to offer it up, then the intention is there that its up for grabs. Don't let them decide how much to leave behind for you.

At the end of the day, its just beer, and luckily you are a homebrewer! You can make more.

 

[Airborneguy]

Cut them off.

I throw pig roasts with my cousin twice a year at his house. We have a HUGE cooler that we fill with ice, and the deal has always been we supply everything except the drinks. For the first 2 years, I would put my beer in with everyone else's in the huge cooler, until I learned my lesson... I got tired of watching people who came in with Coors Light 12pks drinking whatever I put in the cooler.

Since I'm usually parked in the driveway due to bringing over food and chairs and stuff, I now leave a small cooler in the back of my Jeep with mine and one of my friend's craft beers in it. Too bad for everyone else, I don't care.

 

[H-ost]

I see exactly where he is coming from because I have plenty of thirsty friends that think my beer costs me nothing but time. I will still always offer 2-3 to buddies while they are over or give them a few to take home if I don't see them much but it does get annoying to have to tell people you want to save YOUR beer and then have them get upset with you about it.

However, now that I brew 10 gallons, have my mill, and buy bulk grains I am brewing so much that I will probably HAVE to start giving it away due to space issues and the cost of buying more kegs/fermentors.

 

[broadbill]

II can tell you that it is real easy to explain to people "The beer is free, the ingredients are not." and put out a Tip/Donation jar or pass it around.

Do people really do this? I'd probably laugh and think it was a joke if one of my friends pulled out a donation jar....

 

[TyTanium]

Do people really do this? I'd probably laugh and think it was a joke if one of my friends pulled out a donation jar....

I've never done the jar, but many of my friends offer to chip in for a batch, especially if there's a style they like.

"Hey Ty, if I bought the ingredients, can we brew an amber together?"

Sure.

EDIT: Be very careful here. Selling homebrew is illegal. Anything resembling selling homebrew is illegal, and discussing it is not allowed on this forum.

 

[Zamial]

Do people really do this? I'd probably laugh and think it was a joke if one of my friends pulled out a donation jar....

I only put out a jar for other people's parties (EXAMPLE: There is a great friend who throws an annual Luau party and has taken a HUGE loss on them. She has tried everything to get people to pitch in and was going to see if last year's was going to be the last one. I put a donation box out and gave it all to her last year. As a result she lost $5 on the event and will continue having the party.)

I personally never have collected money for myself because I have not had to. I am down with giving my brews away. My friends often bring me bombers or offer me one from a special 6er they bought and really that is all I have ever asked. As a matter of fact I am planning a huge St. Pats party and giving away homebrews at the event. (No donation jar) I love to share! I will however take action against people abusing my good nature. I am not a door mat and no one should be treated as one!

 

[Kealia]

I'm a bit speechless after reading this. I have to agree with a few points:
- Let your wife talk to them and explain what happened
- Stash away what you don't want to be imbibed when they are over
- Do NOT ask for money

Just because it's home brew doesn't make it 'special' to anybody else except those of us that brew. But it's no different than anything else. You wouldn't expect to get money back from the case of PBR or Labatt's would you? What about dinner? If they sat around and ate all the leftovers would you ask them to pay for the turkey, etc.?

I won't argue that it was in poor taste to drink it all, BUT:
- You wife did tell them to help themselves
- Asking to be reimbursed is even worse in IMO

Sorry for your loss.

 

[ajbram]

I'm a bit speechless after reading this. I have to agree with a few points:
- Let your wife talk to them and explain what happened
- Stash away what you don't want to be imbibed when they are over
- Do NOT ask for money

Just because it's home brew doesn't make it 'special' to anybody else except those of us that brew. But it's no different than anything else. You wouldn't expect to get money back from the case of PBR or Labatt's would you? What about dinner? If they sat around and ate all the leftovers would you ask them to pay for the turkey, etc.?

I won't argue that it was in poor taste to drink it all, BUT:
- You wife did tell them to help themselves
- Asking to be reimbursed is even worse in IMO

Sorry for your loss.

Like someone else said, the point wasn't merely to complain about what I thought was a bit of a dick move, but to ask what people would do. I should point out or clarify that I would never ask to be reimbursed for what was consumed.... it was more of a thought of "if we know they are coming over for the holidays and we know they are going to drink everything in the house, is it more reasonable to ask them to contribute, or to make less available to them?" By mixing the question with my complaint about the incident, I guess the question wasn't appropriately clear and got obscured in lots of rhetoric.

Let me rephrase more clearly even...

"If they are coming over, and we know we're going to drink enough homebrew to seriously deplete the pipeline, is it wrong to suggest that everyone chip in and we make some big ass batches of the styles everyone wants to drink?"


This is in line with my original thought... not that people should be asked to pay for the ingredient equivalent of what they consumed, but that if we know from past experience that they are going to drink everything I have, is it that bad to get everyone to chip in on some kick ass big batches?

 

[Rowdy]

i always limit the amount i put out for the general public to consume. and i always have a donation jar on top of my kegorator.

 

[BrewMU]

For me, I brew what I want and can afford to, and if I give some away I only expect my bottle back. If it really bugs you, hide your beer next year - if anyone is insistent, maybe you suggest going in on a batch. Or just hoard and wait it out. You don't OWE anybody beer, but good will with your in-laws can't hurt.

 

[pcollins]

To the OP:

Lesson learned. I feel for you but if you want to avoid this in the future I would just get a box to stash away stuff you want to age or keep for yourself. Pipe line, stock up, whatever you want to call it. I'm not going to belabour that point. I've been in your position before and know how it feels.

In general:

We're brewers. If it's one thing I've noticed about brewers in general is that they are some of the kindest and most generous people out there. Asking people to pay for what they consume in whole or in part is not what we're about. I'm pretty sure we have all been recipients of other people's generosity whether it be through gear donations, ingredients or ready-made beer. We should continue to pay it forward.

The overriding feeling that I'm getting from this thread is that we all need a bit of work at being good hosts and hostesses. If I have people over I try pretty hard to make sure I have enough food and drink for them to consume whether it's soft drinks, juice or water for non-drinkers or beer and wine for drinkers. If I run out then that's my fault, not theirs. They're having a great time and enjoying the party and that's fantastic. They drink all my beer AND enjoy it? Double bonus. Just one more excuse to brew!

 

[copyright1997]

Let me rephrase more clearly even...

"If they are coming over, and we know we're going to drink enough homebrew to seriously deplete the pipeline, is it wrong to suggest that everyone chip in and we make some big ass batches of the styles everyone wants to drink?"

Well, you could delicately let them know approximately how much it costs to brew a batch and ask them if they would like to be partners and brew some batches.

Or, your spouse could ask them to bring other stuff and you will supply the beer.

The important thing is gifts should be gifts, not with strings attached, and if you offer something food/drink to someone you need to make the limits clear (if you are trying to save some or keep some), and if they don't respect them you have a larger issue (which I mentioned in my previous post) that your spouse needs to be involved with and handle as IT IS HER FAMILY.

Or, not have them over to your house drinking your stuff and eating your food, the ingrates!

I find these threads amusing, as there is usually an annual combination spring party/birthday party for my son. For this, people are told that there will be things like chicken, burgers, dogs, cake, soda, wine, beer and some salads, but that they are welcome to bring food if they like. The last party I ended up with more beer than I started with and lot's of leftover foods that people brought. (No snide remarks here, the food that is provided is darn good.) Maybe it depends on WHO you invite to your place!

 

[scottland]

Never ask for money. It's no different than her in-laws having you over for a holiday dinner. Wouldn't you be a little offended if they asked you to chip in for the food?

Sharing my beer is one of the parts of the hobby I truly enjoy. If people a drinking too much of it, that just means I need to brew more often

 

[MrManifesto]

not sure why you're feeling like it's your job to provide beer for people? if you don't want people to drink all your beer, don't give it to them. easy solution.

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

Just put out the amount you intend to share then buy some beer for the rest. Like was mentioned above, it is just like snacks. Do you ask them to pay you if they eat all your chips? Probably not.

Now if they specifically ask for something, then maybe say, OK, can you bring some beers to share, or why don't you come over and help brew. Shift the responsibility for the homebrew onto them. Then they will understand the work and effort involved and they can be the ones to say no thanks or whatever and you aren't the guy asking for $5 at the door.

Honestly though, just buy whatever beer you want to serve them if you don't want them to drink your beer.

Personally, I love it when other people drink my beer. It is cheaper than the beer I would end up buying otherwise and I get a great sense of pride out of the whole experience.

 

[brewser7]

I think a lot of people are blowing this out of proportion. Since the original post I think the OP has cleared up his intentions but I like throwing my 2 cents in anyway
The complaint was laid out and then the etiquette question was asked. I don't see a problem with the complaint. I can definitely understand the frustration of finding out all your hard work went down the gullet of the pesky in-laws. I dont think planning was the issue ALTHOUGH once bitten, twice shy.. lesson is definitely learned by now
My personal opinion is to leave out whatever you are comfortable giving away. Lock everything else up.

I also dont see a problem with a strategically placed coffee can with "brew fund" labeled on it disguised as your own. If they want to donate out of the kindness of their heart then the next years sample batch can grow. Maybe they'll understand the more they donate the more brew you can make for them.
I agree that you should never ask for money which seems to be the common response including the OP.

If I was rich my brews would be free to everyone!! But, I'm being held down by the man so I have to drink away my sorrows and ration what I have in the pipeline.

 

[BierMuncher]

If you build it, they will come. But only if you announce that you built it.

If you cannot yet afford to consider the hobby a charitable endeavor, keep it a secret.

 

[tinman1]

I once brewed a batch according to George Washingtons original recipe. Crappiest beer I have ever had. Keep a few of those around for the "Uncle Dorks" to drink....

 

[Firebat138]

Yeah... I think the OP has made his point and got some good tips... Just take it as a lesson learned... We are utilizing the chalkboard and token system and I think people understand... But like this weekend... I had several people over and we went through the Fresh Squeezed keg and part of another... Of course all of them are either home brewers or heavy drinkers, in either case we had a great time, I never ASK for anything and somehow we had 20 bucks in the kitty... Get a good homebrew club together and make some good beer...

 

[neko]

Next time give 'em the smoker's response.

"Sorry man, it's my last one"

Once you start kegging you can't use that excuse anymore.

 

[Chia]

i am lucky in that several of the friends i have that come over help me brew and drink free beer, but they also chip in when they can or bring a bottle of bourbon on occasion.

 

[TrooperThorn]

Kill the in-laws. Behead them and string their skulls around your kegerator as a warning to all the other leaches.

[just kidding]

 

[Gear101]

do you have a cool brother in law.. if you do invite him over on the next brew day and show him the cost and work it takes to make everything, hoping he passes it along.

 

[Chia]

speaking of in-laws, i took a growler to my wife's family christmas. i gave out small tastes and then drank the growler myself. i told them "if had know you were going to like it i would have brought more" HA HA HA!