What not to say on a first date!

[HBHoss]

In other words, how to make sure there isn't a second date

What do YOU do when herpes flares up?

Could you come up and help me pop some zits on my butt?

I need to hurry, my wife and kids will be home soon.

 

[BigKahuna]

You kiss better than your mom! Can we call her?

 

[springer]

does this look infected to you?

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

You buying?

What color are your panties?

I love you!

You are one of "those girls" aren't you?

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I only have a five, can you break it?

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Let's go for broke. It's a date right.

"Can I get a Fudge McSundae"...."Nuts?"....."She's got those covered later"

 

[olllllo]

Ha.

My brother took a first date to see The Accused.

Plot:

A rape victim, enraged at the light sentence her attackers received on account that she was of "questionable character" goads a female prosecutor to charge the men who literally cheered the attack on.

On the flipside: He agreed to a first date, in another instance, to see a football game because her father was a coach. He assumed HS football game.

He found out quickly that Saturday morning that he was to watch the WI game from the sidelines with his date.... the daughter of Barry Alvarez.

I'm still pissed he blew that date too.

 

[Liquisky]

Do you have worms?

 

[shecky]

For me it was always, Hi.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I had three sh!ts today!.....Wait there, I'll be back soon.

 

[HBHoss]

For me it was always, Hi.

So what'd you say to your wife to get the second date? Oh wait, let me guess, she agreed to go out with you so you drugged her and went to Vegas?

 

[shecky]

So what'd you say to your wife to get the second date? Oh wait, let me guess, she agreed to go out with you so you drugged her and went to Vegas?

Nah. We met on a plane and she's terrified of flying. Absolutely paralyzed with fear.
It was Dramamine and we went to the bucolic garden spot of Lexington, Ky., because, well, that's where the plane landed.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Nah. We met on a plane and she's terrified of flying. Absolutely paralyzed with fear.
It was Dramamine and we went to the bucolic garden spot of Lexington, Ky., because, well, that's where the plane landed.

Man, if I knew that absolute ass numbing fear was the way to get laid, I would have worn my hockey mask more often!

 

[springer]

ya mind if we swing by wallyworld ? Almost out of duct tape and plastic bags...How tall are you anyway?

 

[HBHoss]

Man, if I knew that absolute ass numbing fear was the way to get laid, I would have worn my hockey mask more often!

Oh! That's a mask?

 

[ChshreCat]

"We've got all night, my wife is visiting her mom."

 

[shecky]

Wanna see my collection of Star Trek episodes?

 

[olllllo]

Wanna see my collection of Star Trek episodes?

Liar.

A trekkie would have identified the series.

 

[HBHoss]

Meanwhile, back to the thread...

You mean this switch connected to my vest? Oh.. it's nothing..

 

[shecky]

Liar.

A trekkie would have identified the series.

Indeed, I have not ever seen a Star Trek episode.
Advance apologies to any Trekkies who will be subsequently insulted. Don't want contentiousness here.

 

[shecky]

Ribbed or natural?

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Do you know the difference between a dick and a popsicle?

 

[olllllo]

Do you know the difference between a dick and a popsicle?

Liar.

When we dated, you said Lollipop.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Liar.

When we dated, you said Lollipop.

I was translating for the benefit of those that don't know us! Shhhh now!

 

[shecky]

You know, you're really built like my mother. Up top, I mean.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

You push, and I'll pop the clutch.

 

[the_bird]

"You want to come in? Just be quiet, my mom's asleep."

 

[HBHoss]

What a coincidence, I have a dress just like that.

 

[shecky]

Say hello to my little friend.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

"You want to come in? Just be quiet, my mom's asleep."

My mum wants to be sure I will meet the right person......She wants to watch