what grinder my gears...

[TheMan]

I went to a birthday party yesterday and the host said that he had crappy beer so if you wanted anything else then you gotta bring it. I brought my own mixed sixer of craft beer. I sit down and have my first, west coast Ipa, and then I hear the host telling two guys (who walked in carrying a twelver of bud platinum) what there is to drink. And he says that he has crappy beer but that i had brought some craft stuff. Sure enough they opt for my beer over the platinum that they brought or the coors that the host provided...this was such a buzzkill, and I didn't want to be a ****** or make my gf look bad so i didn't say anything.

I had no problem giving the bday boy a beer, but these other two yahoos should have drank what they brought. And who offers up someone else's beer as communal beer anyway? So my sixer that I planned to enjoy with my gf was now down to two beers. And to make matters worse, the guy that took the alpha king didn't even drink half of it! It went down the drain.

Lesson learned. Do not bring anything but bmc to this guys place. Anyway, I had to share this with some people that would understand. And seeing as everyone is ranting on the board these days I had to join in.

 

[JonK331]

That's why it's better to just stay home, near the kegerator.

 

[BBL_Brewer]

Yeah that really sucks. Nothing worse than wathcing good beer go down the drain. I never leave home without a sixer of HB regardless. I just bottle from the tap on my way out the door and keep it stashed in the trunk if I have to. If I know sharing will be involved, I'll take a 12 pack, or even a keg on occasion. I expect a dumper here and there from the BMC'ers, but the look on their face is priceless. In your case though, you brought store bought, expensive ass craft brew. That guy shoulda manned up and finished it.

 

[DarthMalt]

That's why I never leave beer I bring to random parties with me in the fridge: it stays in the trunk of my car. If it's hot outside, I bring a cooler along. This way, anyone I want to give a beer to gets it and anyone else can drink what they brought.

I'm tired of seeing good beer wasted to people who claim, "Wow! This tastes amazing!" then only drink half the bottle and leave the rest sitting somewhere. Or, watch someone pound a bottle of great beer without even taking the time to taste it. To each his own, but I like to see a good beer thoroughly enjoyed.

Of course, if it's a party with my close friends, I put my beer in the fridge next to the rest of the craft/HB beer.

 

[TheMan]

I had assumed that "I have crappy beer, if you want something else then bring it" meant the same as byob...and i think most people would assume the same.

I don't mind bmc, so when i go there next then ill just bring that. I don't mind bringing communal beer for everyone either. Had I known, I would not have bought what I did. My gf noticed the issue and the look in my face when my beer was being given out, so she then let me have the rest of our beer and she got some communal wine. Bless her soul.

The real kicker is that I noticed the alpha king guy had drank about 6 bud platinums after I gave him the alpha king...I thought he finished it. Then he claimed it was someone else's beer as he was dumping it lol

 

[Zul'jin]

Thing 1. It aint a party if all they got is crappy beer.

Thing 2. Any beer brought to the party is beer for the party. BYOB means either this aint a drinking party but you can if you bring it and then thing 1 applies or the host doesn't want to pay for beer for everyone so it's a chip in deal with beer. Kinda like pot luck with beer.

Thing 3. If I have to check names on the bottles before I can have one, eff you. Party at my house. Beer fridge is in the back. Enjoy.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

That's why I never leave beer I bring to random parties with me in the fridge: it stays in the trunk of my car. If it's hot outside, I bring a cooler along. This way, anyone I want to give a beer to gets it and anyone else can drink what they brought.

Now that's a damned fine idea!

 

[TheMan]

Thing 1. It aint a party if all they got is crappy beer.

Thing 2. Any beer brought to the party is beer for the party. BYOB means either this aint a drinking party but you can if you bring it and then thing 1 applies or the host doesn't want to pay for beer for everyone so it's a chip in deal with beer. Kinda like pot luck with beer.

Thing 3. If I have to check names on the bottles before I can have one, eff you. Party at my house. Beer fridge is in the back. Enjoy.

I don't agree with this. Byob in any situation I've been to means "bring YOUR own beer". So in effect, you drink what you bring and share as you wish. Not at all the same as "bring beer and I'll give it away"

 

[jpc]

Reminds me of years ago, when I played on a company-sponsored softball team. After the games, we'd head to the pub, and inevitably, one particular person would buy one pitcher of Bud or equally crappy beer, yet proceed to drink only from the pitchers of Sam Adams/Sierra/etc that the others had bought. I'm sure the $3 he saved made a difference to him.

 

[Homercidal]

Next time YOU bring the Plantinum!

 

[IrregularPulse]

If I take my own beer to a party or get together, it's in a small cooler of my own. You don't get into another man's obviously personal cooler.

 

[turkeyjerky214]

Yeah, that's a serious ****** move bringing cheap beer and then drinking good beer someone else brought.

Personally, I don't mind being combating their rudeness with some of my own. I'll make it into a joke, but I'd basically say something like "why would you want to drink the swill I made in my garage when you've got those awesome blue bottles to drink from?" and make it obvious my beer isn't up for grabs.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

You guys arent going to believe this but, I consider myself lucky in this regards. Whenever we have a party we have a certain amount of booze, everything else is brought by guests and pooled. We hosted a party for our friend's 30th and a few of his work friends attended of whom SWMBO and I had not met previously. I actually got the question "is there anything on the table intended for a toast or not belong to the party?" I thought that was impeccable manners, especially since these folks brought a few bottles of wine etc.

I guess what my point is, at least at La Casa de Goodness, is that any booze brought to a party is there to be drunk by any one of the guests. The fact that they brought crappier booze and then drank some of the nicer stuff others have provided is annoying, but not a breach of party decorum.

Then again, parties, like threesomes and bar-table pool games, have to have rules established ahead of time or problems are a given.

 

[Jawbox0]

The rule of thumb is always if you give your beer to the host or put it in their fridge it's the host's decision on what to do with it, if you keep it in your own cooler than it's your decision.

 

[Homercidal]

BYOB expressly implies you bring beer for your own consumption. If it was a bring some beer to the party, then I think it's for everyone.

Personally, I'd bring beer that I'd like to share. But I'd never be so bold as to assume anyone's beer is up for grabs, especially if it's a craft beer.

I mean, if you're bringing KBS to a BYOB party, and not sharing it, you are just a ******!

 

[Cruzn4aBrewzn]

The rule of thumb is always if you give your beer to the host or put it in their fridge it's the host's decision on what to do with it, if you keep it in your own cooler than it's your decision.

That's it there.

 

[turkeyjerky214]

the rule of thumb is always if you give your beer to the host or put it in their fridge it's the host's decision on what to do with it, if you keep it in your own cooler than it's your decision.

+1

 

[TheMan]

The rule of thumb is always if you give your beer to the host or put it in their fridge it's the host's decision on what to do with it, if you keep it in your own cooler than it's your decision.

I had put it in his fridge. I didn't think at all that it would be considered beer for anyone to take. When I host a party myself I tell my guests to put any beer they brought in my fridge. It's in there to be kept cold, not to be treated as my own beer to give out. If someone brings a beer that I'd like to try then I go ask the person if I can have one or trade one of mine.

This only applies to store bought beer though. Everyone knows that the taps are free game anytime you come over to my place. And it's entirely optional to bring your own.

If the general consensus is that my beer in his fridge indicates free game, then I suppose it's my own misunderstanding. But I don't agree with it haha

These fellas were not at all educated in craft beer (one guy asked me if a stout tasted like bud light...face, meet palm...), they were blown away by the platinum and how awesome it was. So I doubt they knew the price difference between a solid craft beer and what they had, and this wasn't really a problem.

 

[ajwillys]

Disclaimer, I don't really know that many people that would bring a BMC-type product to a party, so my opinions on "sharing" may be skewed. Also, I'm generally the one providing WAY more than I'm taking, so don't take me as a cheapskate.

In my opinion, there's a certain level of etiquette that should be followed regarding beer at a party.

1)If you are lucky enough to be invited to a party, you are expected to bring something to give as a host gift. They will not tell you that you need to, but you need to. They are likely spending a TON of money (parties I host range from $5 to $15 per person depending on the menu and drinks), a ton of time, and are fully aware that they will have a filthy house (that they likely JUST cleaned) at the end of it. A gift for the host really is "the least you can do". This can be a 6 pack of (good) beer, a bottle of wine, some dessert, or something similar. The host gift helps ease the burden of providing drinks for the party and also helps them "re-coup" some of their costs without you saying "here's $5 for the food".

2) You should just assume that anything you do bring (host gift or otherwise) is not coming home with you. Often, the host will put your contribution into a communal area that now "belongs to the party". Anything left from that area after the party belongs to the host. The host may decide to offer that you take your contribution home or they may not. Anything in that area during the party is fair game.

3) Should you choose to bring a host gift (to be used at the host's discretion) and some other drinks in addition to the host gift, you do gain some control over that second set of drinks. IMHO, they should still be added to the communal pile, but I suppose you could argue otherwise. You should not, at any time, assume that every guests knows those are YOUR drinks. Rule 2 still applies. If I am a guest and I know that the host has provided drinks, how am I supposed to determine if the drinks are fair game or not? The answer is, unless those drinks are inside a bag, cooler, gun case, or somehow kept out of my reach, they are fair game. In this case, I still would feel awfully skeezy reaching into the refrigerator at the end of the night and taking my beer home.

4) What's up with these people that they are drinking that stuff? You're at the wrong party!

 

[CGVT]

I live in the Bud Light/Coors Light capital of the world. Pretty much the only kind of beer that will be available at a party is "Colbeer" as in " You want a Colbeer?". When I go to a party I assume that anything that I take is to be shared. I'll occasionally take a 12 pack or case of Sam Adams or Sierra Nevada when I don't want the standard offering. It is very drinkable and doesn't break the bank. I can have a few and if other people drink them, no big deal. Most of the time, I just take a 12 pack of Miller Light (my swilling beer of choice), though. I never plan to take any beer I brought home unless I bring a cooler full. Then whatever is left in the cooler is going back into my trunk.

I save the expensive craft beer for when I'm hanging out at my house.

 

[turkeyjerky214]

I agree with pretty much everything ajwillys said. I still think it's sh!tty/ballsy to bring cheap beer to a party and go straight for the good stuff though.

Personally, I would be embarrassed if I showed up with a 6 of BMC and someone offered me something good, but then most people don't have good social graces. For example, we have impromptu get togethers fairly regularly. Not official parties, but to BBQ, hang out, etc. Every time my friends come over, they ask before getting beer, and they always offer to pitch in a few bucks. Their wives always bring a nice bottle of wine or a high-end snack/side dish.

My GFs friends, on the other hand, head straight to the keezer and help themselves without so much as asking or offering, and if we're lucky, they bring a bag of chips or a bottle of yellow tail or barefoot that doesn't get drank (they typically head straight for the good wine that my friends' wives have brought). I like her friends a lot, but they just don't get it sometimes. One of her friends (who brings BMC) even had the balls to mention one time that his contribution is the few beers he leaves behind for me. "Oh, you mean those beers that pile up in the back of the fridge that you end up drinking when you show up with nothing?"

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Hi my name is James and I have a confession *hi Jaaaaames* My friends, family and I gladly drink Yellowtail and Barefoot

 

[EllisTX]

I live in the Bud Light/Coors Light capital of the world. Pretty much the only kind of beer that will be available at a party is "Colbeer" as in " You want a Colbeer?".

Lol. We're so far apart, yet so close.

 

[TheMan]

Disclaimer, I don't really know that many people that would bring a BMC-type product to a party, so my opinions on "sharing" may be skewed. Also, I'm generally the one providing WAY more than I'm taking, so don't take me as a cheapskate.

In my opinion, there's a certain level of etiquette that should be followed regarding beer at a party.

1)If you are lucky enough to be invited to a party, you are expected to bring something to give as a host gift. They will not tell you that you need to, but you need to. They are likely spending a TON of money (parties I host range from $5 to $15 per person depending on the menu and drinks), a ton of time, and are fully aware that they will have a filthy house (that they likely JUST cleaned) at the end of it. A gift for the host really is "the least you can do". This can be a 6 pack of (good) beer, a bottle of wine, some dessert, or something similar. The host gift helps ease the burden of providing drinks for the party and also helps them "re-coup" some of their costs without you saying "here's $5 for the food".

2) You should just assume that anything you do bring (host gift or otherwise) is not coming home with you. Often, the host will put your contribution into a communal area that now "belongs to the party". Anything left from that area after the party belongs to the host. The host may decide to offer that you take your contribution home or they may not. Anything in that area during the party is fair game.

3) Should you choose to bring a host gift (to be used at the host's discretion) and some other drinks in addition to the host gift, you do gain some control over that second set of drinks. IMHO, they should still be added to the communal pile, but I suppose you could argue otherwise. You should not, at any time, assume that every guests knows those are YOUR drinks. Rule 2 still applies. If I am a guest and I know that the host has provided drinks, how am I supposed to determine if the drinks are fair game or not? The answer is, unless those drinks are inside a bag, cooler, gun case, or somehow kept out of my reach, they are fair game. In this case, I still would feel awfully skeezy reaching into the refrigerator at the end of the night and taking my beer home.

4) What's up with these people that they are drinking that stuff? You're at the wrong party!

I would agree with most of this. However, in my situation it wasn't really a "party" by those standards. The guy merely hosted a gathering, if you will. We all split the bill on ordering pizza. He had 2 bags of chips on hand and a 12'er of coors light with the message that if you wanted something else to drink then you needed to bring it. To me this says BYOB.

In a more formal situation like you described, and if the host was providing all food and whatnot, then I'd feel inclined to bring a gift and more beer so that others can enjoy it.

However, at my own parties, I would not offer up something someone else brought without getting his/her blessing first. How would you feel if you brought something to share with a few people and then suddenly there is some putz drinking it all by himself without a care in the world? I think the answer is, not to bring something you want to enjoy or share with a few others.

 

[turkeyjerky214]

Hi my name is James and I have a confession *hi Jaaaaames* My friends, family and I gladly drink Yellowtail and Barefoot

haha, the only one of those I actually enjoy is the yellow tail pinot grigio. I like their cab for cooking, and I'll usually drink the rest of the bottle so as not to waste, but from what I can tell, in the wine community, that's the equivalent of showing up to a party with a 12 pack of Busch. It's not the absolute cheapest, but it's close.

And just for the record, I love Busch Light. It's been my go-to cheap beer for about 5 years now.

 

[Zul'jin]

Disclaimer, I don't really know that many people that would bring a BMC-type product to a party, so my opinions on "sharing" may be skewed. Also, I'm generally the one providing WAY more than I'm taking, so don't take me as a cheapskate.

In my opinion, there's a certain level of etiquette that should be followed regarding beer at a party.

1)If you are lucky enough to be invited to a party, you are expected to bring something to give as a host gift. They will not tell you that you need to, but you need to. They are likely spending a TON of money (parties I host range from $5 to $15 per person depending on the menu and drinks), a ton of time, and are fully aware that they will have a filthy house (that they likely JUST cleaned) at the end of it. A gift for the host really is "the least you can do". This can be a 6 pack of (good) beer, a bottle of wine, some dessert, or something similar. The host gift helps ease the burden of providing drinks for the party and also helps them "re-coup" some of their costs without you saying "here's $5 for the food".

2) You should just assume that anything you do bring (host gift or otherwise) is not coming home with you. Often, the host will put your contribution into a communal area that now "belongs to the party". Anything left from that area after the party belongs to the host. The host may decide to offer that you take your contribution home or they may not. Anything in that area during the party is fair game.

3) Should you choose to bring a host gift (to be used at the host's discretion) and some other drinks in addition to the host gift, you do gain some control over that second set of drinks. IMHO, they should still be added to the communal pile, but I suppose you could argue otherwise. You should not, at any time, assume that every guests knows those are YOUR drinks. Rule 2 still applies. If I am a guest and I know that the host has provided drinks, how am I supposed to determine if the drinks are fair game or not? The answer is, unless those drinks are inside a bag, cooler, gun case, or somehow kept out of my reach, they are fair game. In this case, I still would feel awfully skeezy reaching into the refrigerator at the end of the night and taking my beer home.

4) What's up with these people that they are drinking that stuff? You're at the wrong party!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I have noticed that in New York, lots of people bring Tecata to parties. Its super cheap, lighter than a 6 of bottles to walk with, and it flies from the fridge/cooler.

 

[kh54s10]

Try bottling some HB in BMC bottles. Carefully open a case from one end so that people will take from that end. Stash the HB in the back end and you can seem to be drinking the same swill and your HB is safe from the cheapskates.

 

[BBL_Brewer]

I'm with the OP on this one. If the host declares the party byob, then you are responsible for your own beer, not communal beer. If that was the case, you could show up without beer and drink everyone elses beer. But that would be frowned upon right? Same difference with showing up with your own beer and drinking someone elses instead (especially if you bring beer no one else wants to drink, including yourself). Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't share, but that's up to you not the host since they didn't see fit to provide any beer. And whatever you do, you don't dump someones Alpha King down the drain and then hand them a BL Platinum.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Did I miss the part where the beer was wasted? If so I apologize. I thought the transgressor brought cheap BMC but drank one of the OPs gooduns.

 

[weirdboy]

Thing 2. Any beer brought to the party is beer for the party. BYOB means either this aint a drinking party but you can if you bring it and then thing 1 applies or the host doesn't want to pay for beer for everyone so it's a chip in deal with beer. Kinda like pot luck with beer.

No way do I agree with this. If someone says "if you want something better, bring it" that implies that I am optionally bringing good beer for myself, not for everyone at the party. I understand that accidents happen and sometimes random party people think any beer in the fridge is fair game, but for the host to tell some other guys that they can take the way more expensive beer I brought without my explicit permission is pretty *****ey.

 

[TheMan]

Did I miss the part where the beer was wasted? If so I apologize. I thought the transgressor brought cheap BMC but drank one of the OPs gooduns.

Yep, he brought bud platinum. Host declared what he had, plus announced what I had brought. Platinum guy then chooses one of my Alpha Kings. A couple hours later I notice platinum guy has downed several platinums, so I assume he finished the Alpha king. End of the night rolls around and I watch him dump the 67% full Alpha king and declare that it was the other guy.

I know specifically that it was not the other guy because he had taken a Founders All Day IPA (which he finished).

The dumping of the beer just added salt to the gaping wound of the host giving my beer away as communal fodder.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Whether or not we agree on whether your beer is communal at the party (and I certainly dont disagree with you enough to cause a stink about it), I definitely agree that to take one of your beers and then pour it out is horrendous manners. Even if it had been cheapo beer, to take one and then dump it is rude on 11. Whenever there is beer etc. to share, the party has the right to enjoy said beer, while giving respect and thanks to those who brought it.

In other news, suddenly I want to try your Alpha King.