Ways store associates respond (that make you want to set them on fire)

[CreamyGoodness]

You probably wouldnt know it to listen to me, but I am one of the more polite people I know. I say please and thank you religiously, I avoid interrupting people whenever possible, and above all, I answer the question that is posed to me.

Not everyone does this. These people need at the least, schooling, and at the high end, a vicious beating about the face and neck.

Here are a few things people do that I absolutely cant stand. For the sake of the exercise, please envision that in each case, I am in the glassware section of Bed Bath and Beyond and I have asked "Excuse me, do you sell glass flip-top bottles?"

1) "Huh?"... Seriously. Whomever your manager is who trained you should be on the unemployment line. Huh indeed, you yutz.

2) "Uh... that would be on the other side" First off, what other side are you refering to? If you mean behind this wall, thats curtains. As soon as I go to curtains like an idiot, you are going to escape. Just tell me you dont know or, even better, find out for me. Lordy.

3) "Did someone tell you we did?" ok... Im not going to say that I want to see you die slowly... yet... but Im getting pretty annoyed. Firstly, you answered my question with a question, which is a deadly rhetorical sin. Secondly, lets say someone told me you sell glass flip-top bottles... are you going to find them and beat them up? Or, if they didnt, maybe you are expecting me to tell you that it came to me in a dream? Stop wasting my time and answer my frigging question... yes or no.

4) "Me?" Um... Now I'm not even sure if I meant to ask you. Dont confuse customers, its mean.

And my personal favorite, number 5). I'm really not sure why I hate this so much, but last time it happened I lost vision for a full 5 seconds and just saw flames. I was jolted out of catatonia by a loud yelp from my wife... apparently I was squeezing down on her hand like a vice grip... Here it is...

"You mean like a pitcher?"

I just took a deep breath so I could get this out. If I meant a pitcher, why in the name of all things pink and available for a willing boinking wouldnt I have asked for a pitcher? Is a glass bottle a difficult concept? Was my request, a glass bottle with a flip-top, so unreasonable and silly that you thought surely I must mean something non-ridiculous like a pitcher? I'm being flooded with a wave of personal questions and I don't like the answers to any of them. You are implying things about me that are making me rather upset.



Again, I know it sounds like a first-world problem, but I cant fathom why people do this. It happens to me all the time, I ask for adhesive clips in a stationary store and I get "you mean hooks?"... I ask for cheesecloth at a fabric store "you mean batting?"

I really really try to remain polite in these cases. I close my eyes, count to five, and just repeat myself. "no... actually I meant a glass flip-top bottle." And then I offer a little unnecessary reasoning "for putting a liquid beverage in." I then never go to that store again.

I'm not even talking just store associates, who have a hard job I know. I asked a buddy of mine "how was your gig?"... silence... "didnt you have a gig on tuesday, bro?"

he answered.... "Me?"

I stopped talking to him and checked his facebook page. His gig on tuesday went well apparently.

*Sigh!* it will pass

 

[TCHDNSD]

Stay out of Bed Bath and Beyond. Or try Home Depot. There's never anyone there to ask a question anyway.

 

[Varmintman]

First issue I see is a man shopping at bed beyond whatever it is called.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

We get down a little different in New York

 

[TyTanium]

Or try Home Depot. There's never anyone there to ask a question anyway.

Depends on the store and the employee. Look for the older gentlemen, they usually know their stuff. Or if the employee doesn't know, ask them if there's someone who does...they can usually find someone who knows.

HD isn't as reliable as when I was a little kid, but I've still gotten some solid help there. Or, just go to Ace.

 

[Varmintman]

I looked the store up online just to see if we even had one in town. Kind of looks like the other side of Sears to me.

 

[HawksBrewer]

Ha! So true. Love the rant.

 

[progmac]

i think it is unrealistic to expect minimum wage workers to be able to understand the inventory of these mega warehouses we shop at today. they must have 10,000 products. i expect zero service at these places and don't ask questions. they are like shopping online, but in person.

 

[MyNameIsPaul]

I am quite the polite consumer as well. What infuriates me is when checking out at the grocery store/retail shop/etc. and they cashier doesn't even bother saying "Hi! Did you find everything ok? or some other prattle that acknowledges me as a customer. Then the white kid with dreads and patchouli cologne jams everything in a bag, pushes it to the side like it's a diaper and also doesn't say a word. Customers are the reason they have jobs, and not some inconvenience that is interrupting their day.

#FirstWorldProblems
#WhiteWhine
#HashtagsOnHBT

 

[Ostomo517]

I get a lot of my kitchen toys at BB&B but yeah I know exactly what you mean. I was begining to think it was just here. When I get those kinda answers to my questions my eyes just glaze over and I tend to have very rude things fall out of my mouth, until the fiancee smacks my arm or just interjects to spare the moron.

 

[Ostomo517]

i think it is unrealistic to expect minimum wage workers to be able to understand the inventory of these mega warehouses we shop at today. they must have 10,000 products. i expect zero service at these places and don't ask questions. they are like shopping online, but in person.

God forbid they are trained on what to do if one of these "customer" thingies ask them a question they dont know the answer to.

 

[Oldskooler]

Some.. people get paid a minimum wage for a reason.

 

[Homercidal]

I love it when a Walmart check out clerk asks if I found everything ok... Uh, no, but do you think I'm getting out of line to go find it now??

But my favorite is when someone at a home improvement store walks up and asks if they can help me. I just say, "Let's find out!" And off we go! It makes them think they have a challenge and are being judged. Or maybe they think I'm some corporate mole sent in to evaluate their performance...

 

[CreamyGoodness]

You can say what you want about my local supermarket (and there is a lot to say) but if I forget something I can tell the store manager while I am checking out. She sends someone from the front to get it for me, which is great. I dont do that very often, but its nice to know I can.

They have a problem with hiring people who have little or no grasp on the English language, however, so the most simple of inquiries puzzles them. You have been stocking the beer shelves for 2 years, you really should know where the Becks is. In other news, 4 packs of Becks pounders is on sale for $3.99.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Another thing I want to bring up is I'm usually all for altering the name of a job position when it is insulting or implies that the person is somehow "less than" for doing that job. For instance, I am all for calling her the "housekeeper" rather than the "maid" or worse "cleaning lady". Anyone who has ever been in a nasty hotel room will tell you how important and worthy of respect a good housekeeper is. But "associate?" What was wrong with the term "clerk"?

 

[tx-brewer]

On the other side, rude customers! I am a meat cutter and you wouldn't believe the amount of rude disrespectful customers we encounter. Talking on the phone while at the service case and making me wait to take their orders. Blatantly interrupting while I am helping another customer. Turning the lights off in the cutting room to get someone's attention, (someone could easily cut a finger off that way). And my.biggest peace is them tapping me on the back to get my attention.

 

[progmac]

God forbid they are trained on what to do if one of these "customer" thingies ask them a question they dont know the answer to.

training costs money and we demand low prices!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Im actually curious why you call yourself a meat cutter as opposed to a butcher.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

training costs money and we demand low prices!

In that case the person you have hired is actually a liability. Not trained enough to add any sort of value to the operation, but capable of acting as a representative for your company and has an extra key to the register...

 

[tx-brewer]

Im actually curious why you call yourself a meat cutter as opposed to a butcher.

Butcher is a term reserved for someone who actually breaks the whole animal down into its primal cuts (chuck, shoulder, short loin, sirloin, etc) then cuts the steaks, roasts, etc off those. Most grocery stores get the meat in their primal form and cut steaks, roasts, etc. They are technically called meat cutters.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I've learned something today.

 

[Varmintman]

OK something I have learned in my life when dealing with idiots. I don't deal with them...period. I have been going to the stores I frequent enough that I am greeted by name and I know the folks who are knowledgeable in the store and they are the people I talk to. I do not go to Home Depot unless I absolutely have to and then I set my exceptions low enough a medium trained chimp can surpass them. I shop at local hardware stores when I walk in they say Hi Bill what are you building today with your beer stuff. And I take a beer in and share it with them.

Life is to short for me to have to deal with idiots. I will pay more and go where respect and knowledge rule and chimps are fired for lack of social skills.

 

[progmac]

In that case the person you have hired is actually a liability. Not trained enough to add any sort of value to the operation, but capable of acting as a representative for your company and has an extra key to the register...

they aren't a liability until the customers stop going to the store.

 

[dkwolf]

Depends on the store and the employee. Look for the older gentlemen, they usually know their stuff. Or if the employee doesn't know, ask them if there's someone who does...they can usually find someone who knows.

HD isn't as reliable as when I was a little kid, but I've still gotten some solid help there. Or, just go to Ace.

Oh dear dog. I almost hate going to Ace. I get that they want to be helpful. But they need to read body language. When a guy walks into the store and immediately makes a beeline towards a given department, it's probably a pretty safe bet he knows what he's looking for, and has a good handle on where to find it. Leave him the hell alone. When your Joe-homeowner-never-changed-a-lightbulb walks in wide eyed and shaking at the vast array in front of him... Yeah, help that guy. Leave me alone.

It's almost a para-military operation for me to buy anything there. Last time, I went in prepared. Had my running shoes laced up tight, left my slightly movement-restricting coat in the car (despite it being 5° with a below-zero windchill), and hit the front door at just below a jog. The salesdroid actually had to jog 10' to catch up to me as I turned the corner down the plumbing aisle. As the words "Can I help you find anything today", his face damn near shattered as I picked the valve I needed up, turned to him and said "Nope. Got it." The previous time, I needed some PVC pipe, a hand tool (tin snips, perhaps?) and electronics solder. The salesdroid insisted on walking me to Every. Single. Item. I almost lost it. Really felt like explaining to him that if he just left me the hell alone, I'd find the things I need, and then wander the store for 5-10 minutes to kill some time -- and might spend another $20-30 on tools/supplies I didn't specifically come there for that day, but decided to pick up since I was already there.

 

[progmac]

Oh dear dog. I almost hate going to Ace. I get that they want to be helpful. But they need to read body language. When a guy walks into the store and immediately makes a beeline towards a given department, it's probably a pretty safe bet he knows what he's looking for, and has a good handle on where to find it. Leave him the hell alone. When your Joe-homeowner-never-changed-a-lightbulb walks in wide eyed and shaking at the vast array in front of him... Yeah, help that guy. Leave me alone.

It's almost a para-military operation for me to buy anything there. Last time, I went in prepared. Had my running shoes laced up tight, left my slightly movement-restricting coat in the car (despite it being 5° with a below-zero windchill), and hit the front door at just below a jog. The salesdroid actually had to jog 10' to catch up to me as I turned the corner down the plumbing aisle. As the words "Can I help you find anything today", his face damn near shattered as I picked the valve I needed up, turned to him and said "Nope. Got it." The previous time, I needed some PVC pipe, a hand tool (tin snips, perhaps?) and electronics solder. The salesdroid insisted on walking me to Every. Single. Item. I almost lost it. Really felt like explaining to him that if he just left me the hell alone, I'd find the things I need, and then wander the store for 5-10 minutes to kill some time -- and might spend another $20-30 on tools/supplies I didn't specifically come there for that day, but decided to pick up since I was already there.

Haha. Yeah, pretty much. Wandering around lowes/home depot is fun...but that isn't really an option at Ace.

But it does bug me. Like if I want caulk. They ask me if I have any questions about caulk. Not really. What are you working on they ask. I tell them. Oh really, I recommend Caulk Y for that. But I really want Caulk X because I have had good experience with it. Then I'm in the awkward position of saying sorry salesman, i'm not taking your recommendation.

The flip side is that my local ace knows more about working on old houses than any where i've ever been. Once I asked someone in lowes if they had plaster washers. Hahahahahah. Meanwhile my local Ace will reglaze my old windows. It is just a different universe.

lowes and home depot have pretty terrible selection if you are doing anything remotely non "standard"

None of this even gets into the bonehead paint advice you get from, well, pretty much anywhere.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I had to temper this a bit the other day when I purchased some parm at the european supermarket. The guy behind the deli counter has a rather good grasp of the English language. I picked up a solid block of parm and asked if he could grate it for me (they have a machine they just put it into, no labor required really). Here is where we both misunderstood... I thought he was saying I had to purchase more for them to grate it for me (which would have been untrue) and he thought I was asking him to cut the block in half and repackage. Keeping myself from getting overly cranky was a big boon, because after the simple misunderstanding was cleared up he happily grated my cheese for me. Moral of this story is that a poor customer service experience can be salvaged if both sides are willing.

 

[TyTanium]

I suppose the variability at Ace is very different from store to store, at least relative to HD/Lowes. I have an Ace a mile from my house and it's great.

 

[NivekD]

Try going into Lowes or HD and asking someone where the glazier's points are. All you get is...

 

[CreamyGoodness]

My local hardware store is the size of a phone booth. Not really but its small. Korean family owns and runs it, the daughter always thinks I'm flirting and is leary of me. Paint guy doesnt know how to use the computer for the paint colors ("where is the O, where is the O") but I tell ya, the son, mother, and father know where everything is and what you need for just about every project, and they dont try to upsell you unecessarily either.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Try going into Lowes or HD and asking someone where the glazier's points are. All you get is...

The corner covers for glass panes?

I guess its good I dont work at Lowes or HD.