Things that happen to all New Yorkers over time

[Billy-Klubb]

Hey. You get out whut you put in.

NNNNnnnnnoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! stop talking!!!! lalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalala!!!!!!!

 

[Zuljin]

It was kind of greasy, too. Glistened. With little bits of carrot, potatoes and meat in it.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

I'd still rather live where the deer outnumber people 10 to 1.

Same here!
I'd like to visit NYC once though, eat at some of the greatest delis & pizzarias in the world, see some of the sights; and then get the hell out of there!
Regards, GF.

EDIT: And have a beer or 6 with Creamygoodness.
Regards, GF.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

With all my complaining I can also wax poetic for hours. Tourists and residents almost magically have very different experiences here. This place demands utter loyalty from her inhabitants, and always gives back what she is given tenfold. Love her and she will love you. For this reason when people say "New York City is alive" they mean it literally. She is a living organism. She is capable of love, hate, brutality and generosity.

At some of my lowest points in life some of the most amazing things have happened. I wasnt watching once, when I stepped into the crosswalk and felt a hand grab my coat. When I finally got my head out of my ass I realized that a suburban had sped by literally less than 3 inches from my toe, and had the man behind me not grabbed me I would have been hit. He yelled at me, in Cantonese, most likely "watch you idiot" and I never saw him again.

I was one of 3 people who helped a man on a subway platform who collapsed, and I think more would have helped if there had been more room to do so. By the way, Officer Otega, the response to "Officer, I just saw a man collapse downstairs" is not "Word?"

The watering hole where I met my wife and most of my friends hosted the local homeless guy's birthday one year.

The owner of the same watering hole spoke at my wedding.

Beer here is pretty good.

Whether you are straight, gay or bisexual, if you are walking on the sidewalk for a combined hour each day, there will be at least one person that passes by that you will consider a 10. Every day. If you pass by that person from May to the end of August, they will be clad in enough material to make two cocktail napkins. And $400 shoes.

We still have old-school butchers, bakers, barbers, shoe repair guys, and actual real delis. There is nothing wrong with WaWas, Subways, or 7-11s, but they are not real delis.

 

[Mongrel]

* You spend more time than one would expect explaining that the murder your friends or family saw on the national news actually happened quite far away from you, and you are currently as safe as you have ever been.

Heh, my sister wouldn't leave my apartment after seeing a news story about a guy on a bicycle riding around stabbing random people. ****, they had just caught him...

* Every single man in NYC, despite the smell of rotting garbage, counts the summer as his favorite season.

No, the Fall is the best. It wasn't the rotting garbage that put me off summer, but always hated the stench of evaporating urine.

They were filming Die Hard 3 on West 72nd when I lived there. Some idiot with a headset told me I couldn't walk to my apartment building. Luckily he/she didn't try to stop me, because the headset probably wouldn't have tasted very good.

Those bastards got in my way in the East Village too.

 

[unionrdr]

Like the time I had to use damn side streets to go around the strip in down-town Cleveland when they were filming Spiderman 3. During rush hour no less.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Having a lousy couple weeks so I thought Id reflect on some of the good stories. Every year I help at least one person push their car out of the snow. Every year another passerby gives me a hand.

About a year ago my father and I were on my balcony. The next door neighbors, an absolutely huge Greek family, were having a birthday party for their daughter/granddaughter's first birthday. As we are sitting there, a cop car pulls up and two police officers get out and knock on their door. I'm thinking, what could possibly warrant a visit from the NYPD at a 1 year old's birthday party on a Saturday afternoon? Noise complaint? Too much smoke from the grill out back? I couldnt figure it out. About 10 minutes later the cops left... with paper plates and plastic forks with a slice each of birthday cake.

Im thinking one of the cops was family and his partner got a slice too as a professional courtesy.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

About a year ago my father and I were on my balcony. The next door neighbors, an absolutely huge Greek family, were having a birthday party for their daughter/granddaughter's first birthday. As we are sitting there, a cop car pulls up and two police officers get out and knock on their door. I'm thinking, what could possibly warrant a visit from the NYPD at a 1 year old's birthday party on a Saturday afternoon? Noise complaint? Too much smoke from the grill out back? I couldnt figure it out. About 10 minutes later the cops left... with paper plates and plastic forks with a slice each of birthday cake.

Im thinking one of the cops was family and his partner got a slice too as a professional courtesy.

Pure awesomeness!
Regards, GF.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I wear a Navy surplus Pea Coat in to work when its cold. This coat has big ole flat buttons on the font.

This morning, manuevering through a crowded train to exit at my stop, one of my buttons somehow got caught in a lady's button loop on HER coat. We were stuck like that for a minute, trying to mentally navigate the least obtrusive way to release ourselves and each other without ripping our clothes.

Luckily, she was a good sport and I didnt miss my stop. But talk about awkward.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

One more slice of NY life this morning... I feel like you are unlikely to see this elsewhere.

On my way to the train this morning the patriarch of the family next door (same family as in the previous birthday cake story) calls me over.

"James, I hate to bother you but maybe you know how?"
"Know how to what George?"
"Tie my son-in-law's neck"
"hmmmm.... oh you mean tie the necktie, yeah sure I can help with that"

For the record George and his family are truly nice people... something little like this isnt an imposition. I think his son-in-law is a blue collar guy, thus not knowing how.

So there I am in his driveway tying his tie on my own neck before handing off for the transfer.

"So, you have a wedding to go to?"

"Yeah actually, mine!"