Things about your co-workers that annoy you

[odorf]

I hate stupid questions.

like when you are eating a hamburger and some asshat asks if you are eating a hamburger.

I generally say something like "No, i am milking a cow." with a straight face

Or, "not today, did that yesterday"

here is a true story.
I was the foreman on a job, and I became friendly with the job superintendent.
we both transferred to another job, when that one was over.
I was sitting on my gang box at 6;45 when he walked by
I said. "good morning"
he said nothing,
I figured he did not hear me
next morning. same thing, I said "Good Morning"
he said nothing
3rd day
he walked by I said : "F____You!'
he turned around and said "what did you say?"
I said. "I said Good Morning!"

 

[iijakii]

I hate dropping a chocolate log at work and someone comes in to take a leak or wait for the stall. then a martha floccer tries talking to you. unless you want me to give you direct contact pink & brown eyes, don't talk to me while I'm making playdough. I don't poop at work anymore because we can't lock the door.

I woulda figured you had the berries to not be a nervous pooper. My views on you have been shattered.

 

[dkwolf]

I woulda figured you had the berries to not be a nervous pooper. My views on you have been shattered.

That ain't nerves. A man should be allowed to **** in peace.

 

[iijakii]

That ain't nerves. A man should be allowed to **** in peace.

Talking through the wall is pretty jacked, no doubt. But if you lock the door so I can't come take a piss, might have to just let it out on your car's doorhandle.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

flocc no. I'm pooping. leave me alone. which is why I don't poop at work anymore. every place I've worked has had a single person bathroom, until now. I don't even like flowing the golden waters because I have to smell the bouquet of muddy rose buds. call it what you like, but it don't make me scared. it makes me mad when people don't leave me alone while eliminating.

 

[drainbamage]

I hate stupid questions.

like when you are eating a hamburger and some asshat asks if you are eating a hamburger.

I generally say something like "No, i am milking a cow." with a straight face

Or, "not today, did that yesterday"

They always do that when I get my hair cut:

"Get a haircut?"
- "No."
"Really? I thought your hair was longer yesterday."
- "Nope."

 

[SupervisingChildren]

The staff bathroom where I work is in my shared office. The walls are also paper thin. Several times I've had a coworker talking to me while I'm taking a leak. Can't you hear me pissing? Just give me a minute!

 

[slym2none]

They always do that when I get my hair cut:

"Get a haircut?"
- "No."
"Really? I thought your hair was longer yesterday."
- "Nope."

Dad-joke time:

"Did you get a hair-cut?"

"No, I got all of 'em cut!"

---or---

If you have the person smart enough to make it a statement instead of a question:

"You got a hair-cut!"

"I did?!?!?" *pats head* "OMG, WHO DID THIS???"

 

[1977Brewer]

Dad-joke time:

"Did you get a hair-cut?"

"No, I got all of 'em cut!"

This, but I say "Several, actually."

Because I only have several.

 

[odorf]

Ya'll aint regular? i take a dump every morning at 5 am

you can set a watch, at 5 am, i dump, then i take a shower

then i go to work.

i'm good till till next morning

 

[gicts]

Let's not get down in the weeds here. Can you just give us the aerial view?

Let's take this offline - I'll email you ... or call you on the land line.

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Let's take this offline - I'll email you ... or call you on the land line.

Let's make that a parking lot item so we can move on with the core of the discussion.

 

[chisena]

Jargon masks real meaning

 

[Zuljin]

So, y'all are in my meetings, I see. Good. Does everyone have their action items?

 

[gicts]

So, y'all are in my meetings, I see. Good. Does everyone have their action items?

Let me circle back with you ... had to take a late lunch and they are slow.

... on a serious note, if I don't get laid off next week I'm prolly going to quit and commit 'career suicide'. Enough of that nonsense - I need time to brew!

 

[b-boy]

Dad-joke time:

"Did you get a hair-cut?"

"No, I got all of 'em cut!"

I used this one last night on my son. He hates it. That's why I do it.

 

[slym2none]

I used this one last night on my son. He hates it. That's why I do it.

I learned it from my dad!

 

[iijakii]

I dont have any children but I still tell Dad jokes. The wife loves to hate them.

 

[slym2none]

Dad jokes work just as well on co-workers.

 

[dkwolf]

So, y'all are in my meetings, I see. Good. Does everyone have their action items?

I'm on three (or is it four... I can't keep track anymore) committees at work. AutoCAD Civil Design Standards, GIS User Group, and Wellness Committee. There might be another one in there... maybe Civil3D User Group now that I think of it...

Anyway, in one of the CAD/GIS related groups, one of the "leaders" for a while insisted on doing a SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, Threat) analysis of every. single. idea.

I wanted to SWAT him. In the face. With a cinder block.

 

[hunter_le five]

I'm on three (or is it four... I can't keep track anymore) committees at work. AutoCAD Civil Design Standards, GIS User Group, and Wellness Committee. There might be another one in there... maybe Civil3D User Group now that I think of it...



Anyway, in one of the CAD/GIS related groups, one of the "leaders" for a while insisted on doing a SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, Threat) analysis of every. single. idea.



I wanted to SWAT him. In the face. With a cinder block.

Ha! We used to have a chick who ran our company's marketing, who always insisted on doing SWOT analyses for things, because that's what she learned in bidness school.

Emphasis on "used to". Ain't nobody got time for that crap. Especially not the owner.

I still have some of those in my office, somewhere...

 

[Zuljin]

We're getting that GIS thing soon.

 

[dkwolf]

We're getting that GIS thing soon.

I've been using ArcMap for a little over 10 years now. I can do some pretty cool things with it, but I know that I'm barely scratching the surface of what you CAN do with those tools.

I can take a process that used to take 2-3 guys all winter to do, and have it done by myself in a month with GIS.

 

[Rhumbline]

Another CAD/GIS guy here. ArcGIS makes me look like a genius to the bosses. I love it.

I just recently got a request, how many miles of sidewalk do we have on campus? I had an answer in less than five minutes. Those kinds of things would have taken me a few hours to pull together any kind of accurate number for.

It's a steep learning curve but the newer versions are a lot easier than earlier ones. I started eight years ago and it was painful.

 

[TheCADJockey]

I used this one last night on my son. He hates it. That's why I do it.

I learned it from my dad!

Growing up, my dads go to whenever one of us whined was:

"Does your face hurt?" It was infuriating. We would always try to deflect by saying, uh, no.. or explain something and he'd still just interrupt you and say, "Because it's killing me!".

I use it on coworkers and friends alike now. The only difference is that I don't finish it. When someone whines, I just ask them if their face hurts.. then when they answer I just go about my business without acknowledging them. Dad would be proud.

 

[Yoseff]

How about first and second shift holding meetings about the line and making decisions without telling us poor third shifters... Been happening a lot the last couple weeks and it's downright infuriating. Especially when third shift is the one with the best production numbers.

 

[b-boy]

How about first and second shift holding meetings about the line and making decisions without telling us poor third shifters... Been happening a lot the last couple weeks and it's downright infuriating. Especially when third shift is the one with the best production numbers.

What do you expect?

Everyone knows third shifters are degenerates and low lifes. They're like vampires. Who else would work those hours?

 

[drainbamage]

I dont have any children but I still tell Dad jokes. The wife loves to hate them.

I do this too. Then I call her Coral.

It's really fun to do in front of her parents, and watch them chuckle nervously because they don't get the reference.

 

[odorf]

What do you expect?

Everyone knows third shifters are degenerates and low lifes. They're like vampires. Who else would work those hours?

third shift is for the cool kids, brown nosers work 1st shift, nerds work 2nd

3rd shift no bosses, thats why **** gets done

 

[Psylocide]

3rd shift no bosses, thats why **** gets done

I just thought it was because everyone is on meth.

 

[iijakii]

Boss told me a story awhile back about 3rd shift contractors.

We installed this huge 10+ pump booster package and go out for startup. Turn the suckers on and it sounds like there's cavitation. Really shouldnt be happening, these were designed right for BEP. Spend awhile rerunning pressure calcs etc. Customer assured us they flushed the suction line before attaching it. Well, they didnt. Finally convinced him to detach their big custom welded manifolds and we find a fvcktonne of beer cans in it. Security system shows the 3rd shift welders drinkin' beer and then throwing them in the pipe to hide it. ****ers.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Boss told me a story awhile back about 3rd shift contractors.

We installed this huge 10+ pump booster package and go out for startup. Turn the suckers on and it sounds like there's cavitation. Really shouldnt be happening, these were designed right for BEP. Spend awhile rerunning pressure calcs etc. Customer assured us they flushed the suction line before attaching it. Well, they didnt. Finally convinced him to detach their big custom welded manifolds and we find a fvcktonne of beer cans in it. Security system shows the 3rd shift welders drinkin' beer and then throwing them in the pipe to hide it. ****ers.

those "welders" deserve beatings big, mean, hard beatings.

 

[smurfjuice]

Cuz they drink chit beer ... :beard:

 

[Yoseff]

I just thought it was because everyone is on meth.

Nah, just biblical proportions of coffee.

 

[Pkrd]

Finally convinced him to detach their big custom welded manifolds and we find a fvcktonne of beer cans in it. Security system shows the 3rd shift welders drinkin' beer and then throwing them in the pipe to hide it. ****ers.

You guys really should have beer on tap.

 

[Grannyknot]

Supervisor just comes into my office and says:
"I'm going to give you this document, because I just don't know who it goes to"

Epitome of the catch-all mentality.

I felt like saying, when I turn in my 2 week notice next week, you are going to Catch-All of my work.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Epitome of the catch-all mentality.

That's my position here, exactly.

 

[Grannyknot]

That's my position here, exactly.

that makes me cringe.
lazy people love to use & abuse a catch all.

 

[b-boy]

Boss told me a story awhile back about 3rd shift contractors.

We installed this huge 10+ pump booster package and go out for startup. Turn the suckers on and it sounds like there's cavitation. Really shouldnt be happening, these were designed right for BEP. Spend awhile rerunning pressure calcs etc. Customer assured us they flushed the suction line before attaching it. Well, they didnt. Finally convinced him to detach their big custom welded manifolds and we find a fvcktonne of beer cans in it. Security system shows the 3rd shift welders drinkin' beer and then throwing them in the pipe to hide it. ****ers.

That's hilarious.

I worked 3rd shift for about 2 years back in the 80s. I worked as a chemist in a hospital.

Everyone had secret sleeping spots. There were foam pads and pillows stashed in some of the labs. People would sneak off and crash. It was accepted behavior as long as there wasn't a boss around. We'd even cover for each other, so everyone got a turn. As long as the work was getting done, no one worried about it.

I never got used to the shift. I never got enough sleep during the day, and I always felt like crap. The worst was when I saw the sunrise. It reminded my body that I'd been up all night. I think you have to be hard-wired a certain way to be able to handle 3rd shift.

 

[odorf]

I worked for a ahole who constantly took credit for our work.

he always said "I' did this and "I" did that.

giving no props to the crew what so ever.

I like to say, HE did that and WE did this.