The stupidest comment on your beer

[Reggie22]

My neighbor looked across the street and saw my three tier setup in the making, shook his head and said "Duck Dynasty has nothing on you." I had a good laugh.

 

[JonM]

I just finished a decoction brew day and my wife said, "I don't understand why you put yourself through that. Wouldn't it be easier to just run down to the store and buy some beer?"

Why does Grandma go to all that trouble of baking cookies? Wouldn't it be easier for her to just run down to the bakery and buy some?

 

[shelly_belly]

I told her that the store didn't have anything near as good as what I was making.

 

[Trail]

My mash paddle broke two batches ago, so I figured I'd carve a new one out of a solid board. Went to Lowe's, talked to the guy in Lumber.

Clerk: Whatcha doin' with this anyway?
Me: Brewing beer, actually. Need something to stir with, so I reckoned I'd carve a paddle.
Clerk: Real good idea. Real good real good. They use maple for scotch barrels. Makes real good whiskey.

*beat*

Me: Okay, that's cool. I'm making beer though.
Clerk: It's gonna add its own special flavor. Real good.
Me: Yeah, I'm just gonna be stirring.
Clerk: You know what you do, right? You're gonna take your paddle... while it's still hot... and you put, you put a plastic bag over the end. Then when it cools down it'll squeeze all that stuff out. Make the strongest beer you ever had.
Me: Man... I have to go.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

My mash paddle broke two batches ago, so I figured I'd carve a new one out of a solid board. Went to Lowe's, talked to the guy in Lumber.

Clerk: Whatcha doin' with this anyway?
Me: Brewing beer, actually. Need something to stir with, so I reckoned I'd carve a paddle.
Clerk: Real good idea. Real good real good. They use maple for scotch barrels. Makes real good whiskey.

*beat*

Me: Okay, that's cool. I'm making beer though.
Clerk: It's gonna add its own special flavor. Real good.
Me: Yeah, I'm just gonna be stirring.
Clerk: You know what you do, right? You're gonna take your paddle... while it's still hot... and you put, you put a plastic bag over the end. Then when it cools down it'll squeeze all that stuff out. Make the strongest beer you ever had.
Me: Man... I have to go.

Hahaha!

 

[Quadrupled]

My mash paddle broke two batches ago, so I figured I'd carve a new one out of a solid board. Went to Lowe's, talked to the guy in Lumber.

Clerk: Whatcha doin' with this anyway?
Me: Brewing beer, actually. Need something to stir with, so I reckoned I'd carve a paddle.
Clerk: Real good idea. Real good real good. They use maple for scotch barrels. Makes real good whiskey.

*beat*

Me: Okay, that's cool. I'm making beer though.
Clerk: It's gonna add its own special flavor. Real good.
Me: Yeah, I'm just gonna be stirring.
Clerk: You know what you do, right? You're gonna take your paddle... while it's still hot... and you put, you put a plastic bag over the end. Then when it cools down it'll squeeze all that stuff out. Make the strongest beer you ever had.
Me: Man... I have to go.

I think that dude has watched too many commercials for Jim Beam's Devil's Cut.

 

[CliffMongoloid]

At a friends party last night i was pouring out samples of My pale ale and brown ale

A young girl asked for a sample of the pale ale and i Gave get a cup

Her "this tastes like cat pee"
Me "I'm sorry to hear that"
Her " no seriously it tastes like cat pee"
me "how do you know what cat pee tastes like"
Her "well it tastes like cat pee smells"
Me "your prolly tasting the hops... Some people don't care for it"
Her "well it tastes like pee... You should give up"

I think she was just a b****

i have to to noticed there are a couple different reactions, some say its good to be nice, some say they don't Care for it, some actually mean they like it and some offer constructive criticism

 

[Trail]

Her "this tastes like cat pee"

Oddly enough, I actually have this reaction when I try any of Stone's IPAs. I thought I just didn't like Centennial, but I like it everywhere else. I have no idea what the problem is, but at least I know the problem is me and not the brewer.

I think that dude has watched too many commercials for Jim Beam's Devil's Cut.

I think you're exactly right.

 

[CliffMongoloid]

Oddly enough, I actually have this reaction when I try any of Stone's IPAs. I thought I just didn't like Centennial, but I like it everywhere else. I have no idea what the problem is, but at least I know the problem is me and not the brewer.

I think you're exactly right.

Hmm that Is interesting... This was a smash beer... Centennial and 2 row

 

[brewski09]

Oddly enough, I actually have this reaction when I try any of Stone's IPAs. I thought I just didn't like Centennial, but I like it everywhere else

I've heard Chinook can taste like cat pee if the hop isn't good and stone uses a lot of chinook along with Centennial...

 

[russrob81]

I've heard citra described like cat pee as well

 

[Pommy]

Due to an unfortunate incident involving my wort chiller wintering in the shed while full of water, I needed to pick up a new chiller. As I approached the bus stop with long copper tubing in hand, a group of teenagers at the bus stop watched with mounting distrust. A guy mumbled, "Yo, I see you're building a still."

"Nope, it's for beer," I replied. This did not appear to reassure anyone. One guy's girlfriend was whispering furiously in his ear as I sat on the bench. Moments later, they all left. Buddy's girlfriend tried to sneakily take a picture with her phone, but when she saw me watching she raised it and took several more.

Very strange. I can only imagine what her conversation with the cops sounded like.

I wish we had more teenagers like that over here, they might be ignorant busybodies but here you would get beaten up for a copper pipe, they steal that stuff even if it's nailed down!

 

[Grimster]

I told her that the store didn't have anything near as good as what I was making.

Well, they probably do but around here it'd only be found in $9.99 22oz bombers. Which is why most of the beers I make tend to be the big beers you typically find in single bombers and not 12 packs.

My wife had a good one last week, I made a fresh juiced peach/apple wine and I filled the carboy a bit full and the peach solids all rose to the top, then stopped up the airlock, she sees it and asks "will it explode?"

 

[kombat]

(second time they had been called by same prick neighbor)

Great story, but based only on this tale, I don't think it's fair to call him a "prick." Misinformed or ignorant maybe, but not a prick. He saw what he perceived as illegal activity going on in his neighborhood, so he reported it. Nothing wrong with that. If I saw someone ACTUALLY distilling, or cooking meth in their garage, I'd report it too. If it turned out he was just making his own cough syrup, does that make me a "prick," or just ignorant regarding the techniques and equipment involved in making your own cough syrup?

That said, I doubt this was an isolated incident, and I'm sure you have other perfectly good reasons for forming such a negative opinion of this particular neighbor.

 

[Haputanlas]

I too have yet to make something I believe is better than store bought beer. I have fermentation temp control, a stir plate and have played with my water chemistry. My friends like most of my stuff and say I'm too picky.

I understand the self criticism as I do the same. However, don't take my inebriated humor too seriously. If I have over 50 batches under my belt and approximately 3000 posts here, I'd be a fool to continue this hobby if I always produced crap beer .

 

[Grimster]

If I saw someone ACTUALLY distilling

Meth, sure, but distilling in the garage? Why would you care if someone makes a gallon or two of shine (more than that wouldn't really fit in a garage)?

 

[Swarley88]

I think the media has plagued peoples mind on this crap. Meth and distilling instruments look different from one another, and they look different then beer brewing too.

If you are so uneducated and you don't know the difference or what those instruments even vaguely look like, then why in the hell are you calling the cops on someone? People kind of need to mind their own business. at least do a quick look on Google, "meth making equipment" and if they are the same then call the damn cops. But in all reality, would a meth cook or a distiller be so dumb that they fire up in the garage in the middle of daylight in suburbia?

It seems to me that people want something bad to be going on.

 

[n240sxguy]

If I saw someone making meth; I'd call the cops! That's bad stuff. If I saw someone making moonshine; I'd say two words"how much?" I would also make sure I was out of the blast radius just to be on the safe side.

 

[estricklin]

I think the media has plagued peoples mind on this crap. Meth and distilling instruments look different from one another, and they look different then beer brewing too.

If you are so uneducated and you don't know the difference or what those instruments even vaguely look like, then why in the hell are you calling the cops on someone? People kind of need to mind their own business. at least do a quick look on Google, "meth making equipment" and if they are the same then call the damn cops. But in all reality, would a meth cook or a distiller be so dumb that they fire up in the garage in the middle of daylight in suburbia?

It seems to me that people want something bad to be going on.

Almost a decade in the oilfields has taught me this. People have called in with some crazy stuff. We're talking about the kind of people, that don't have enough going in their own lives, so they have to look outside their windows, (literally), to find entertainment, or they just get off on getting people in trouble.

Also, yes I don't expect everyone to know all of the terminology and equipment used for brewing beer, OR making meth, but I do expect people to have the common sense to tell the difference. I don't know anything about making candles or lye soap, but if I saw my neighbor doing either one I could probably discern what he was doing wasn't illegal at least.

 

[emjay]

The copper coil is pretty much what people identify with stills.

Meth lab probably looks more like my yeast setup.

 

[beaksnbeer]

Great story, but based only on this tale, I don't think it's fair to call him a "prick." Misinformed or ignorant maybe, but not a prick. He saw what he perceived as illegal activity going on in his neighborhood, so he reported it. Nothing wrong with that. If I saw someone ACTUALLY distilling, or cooking meth in their garage, I'd report it too. If it turned out he was just making his own cough syrup, does that make me a "prick," or just ignorant regarding the techniques and equipment involved in making your own cough syrup?

That said, I doubt this was an isolated incident, and I'm sure you have other perfectly good reasons for forming such a negative opinion of this particular neighbor.

2nd time he has called me making beer in my front yard. He also dumped my peace offering beers in front of me. As well as calling "code enforcement" because my boat and trailer were on my driveway and not on the side of the house(trailer tongue has to be behind forward most facing wall of house) Only enforced "IF" someone complains. So I may be a bit jaded. He has since tried to petition my other neighbors to make it illegal to make alcohol in our area(lucky were not in a HOA) I heard that he only got 2 signatures out of the 36 homes in our subdivision

 

[day_trippr]

^ If you're not in an HOA, who the heck is enforcing all those "codes"?

Crap like you're putting up with reminds me why I live where critters outnumber people...

Cheers!

 

[beaksnbeer]

^ If you're not in an HOA, who the heck is enforcing all those "codes"?

Crap like you're putting up with reminds me why I live where critters outnumber people...

Cheers!

It's an old(County) rider code to keep people from having RV's and 5th wheels camped out over the winter. Snowbirds would have to stay in RV parks and campsites. His next door neighbor has his boat in the driveway "BUT" no one has complained so there it sits.

 

[unionrdr]

Yup,just like the HOA here...very much like the movie Liar Liar. "what's your problem shmuck?!" " I'm an inconciderate PRICK!!" ...'nuff said.

 

[smccarter]

Neighbors sometimes suck. That's what privacy fences are for.

 

[brewmcq]

Neighbors sometimes suck. That's what privacy fences are for.

And shotguns.


Got a great comment on some brew-related equipment today. My Dad came by to take me to lunch with my Grampie and uncle, so I was showing off the brewery-in-progress.

He didn't say much, but he did keep taking the lid off my massive boil kettle and looking inside it. When I opened up the ferment chamber-in-progress (which is doubling as "extra brewing crap storage"), he pointed at the 2 liter soda bottle filled with water that I've been using to monitor the temperature fluctuations in the closet and said..

"Is that a bong?"

"Is what a bong?" I asked.

"That." Pointing at the soda bottle.

"No, Dad. That's a soda bottle."

"Oh." He paused. "It looks like a bong."

"You just like saying "bong", don't you?"

He just looked at me.

lol

 

[Pommy]

And shotguns.

"Is that a bong?"

"Is what a bong?" I asked.

"That." Pointing at the soda bottle.

"No, Dad. That's a soda bottle."

"Oh." He paused. "It looks like a bong."

"You just like saying "bong", don't you?"

He just looked at me.

lol

Sounds like he's hinting at something to me... sounds like a Workaholics scene.

 

[smccarter]

From Bud Light drinkers.... "What is it that I'm tasting?" - referring to hops....

My response is simply.. "Beer".

 

[freddyj]

Let Swmbo taste some N West style IPA. She responds "eww, tastes like I'm chewing on a Hydrocodone. "

 

[KZE80]

A recent interaction with a bartender at a pizza joint that serves some local brews.

Me: what's new?
Her: We've got a new beer from Martin House called River House.
Me: Oh yeah? What style is it?
Her: it's their Texas Scion
Me: a Saison?
Her: nah. They call it a Texas-style Scion
Her: *hands me a promo card clearly stating "River House Saison"*
Me: What the hell, pour me a Scion.