The insult game

[annasdadhockey]

She is uglier than a bag of smashed ********.

 

[LabRatBrewer]

You're a modest little person, with much to be modest about.

 

[scratchy1971]

Your face looks like it caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel.

That's dumber than a screen door on a battleship.

 

[Diaperload]

I've got 2 words for you....shut the f**k up

 

[JonM]

Shut that c***'s mouth before I come over there and f*** start her head.

 

[JonM]

"She's uglier than homemade sin."

"He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel."

 

[m_c_zero]

Your face looks like it caught fire and someone put it out with a shovel.

Your face looks like somebody tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

You're so stupid, you couldn't find your own ass in the dark with 3 hands & a flashlight.

 

[VApatriot]

You're so stupid, you couldn't find your own ass in the dark with 3 hands & a flashlight.

Here's the version of the line above I heard while living in Tennessee:

"He's so lost he couldn't find his a$$hole with a map, a compass, and two Indian guides!"

Other favorite from Tennessee: "I wouldn't piss up his a$$ if his guts was on fahr!"

For a rather homely (or very scary looking) girl:

"I wouldn't f*ck you with his d*ck!"

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Insults by proxy

"You go tell that moose ******..."
"You go tell that ass spelunker..."
"You tell that fart sniffer..."

 

[HomeBeers]

"Go brew yourself"

 

[m_c_zero]

"Go brew yourself"

Brew you buddy!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I could continue having a conversation with you, but I would rather drill a hole in a tree and **** it.

 

[sweetcell]

I could continue having a conversation with you, but I would rather drill a hole in a tree and **** it.

only problem there is that you're leaving yourself WAY open for a witty come-back... "yeah, but you'd rather do that anyways", "oh, you mean just like your 'date' last night?", "would be an improvement on your gf/wife/etc", etc...

 

[GrogNerd]

admit it, you're just a little monkey banging on a keyboard, sitting in your soiled underwear, stinking up your parents' basement, making inappropriate remarks to your sister and waiting for your 'nads to drop.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Oh seriously, **** a false landing strip off the coast of Brazil.

 

[redshift76]

"Why don't you shut your c*ck holster"

 

[CreamyGoodness]

You should be incarcerated for life in the state penitentiary for the criminally homely.

 

[Bedlam]

Typical Southern style offerings:

"Whew...he's so fat, if he hauls ever ass, he'll need two trips."

"Her? She's so stupid if she tried to hit the ground, she'd miss."

"She could out-ugly a possum!"

Also keep in mind that here in the South, insults are generally followed with "bless his/her heart".

 

[gratus fermentatio]

"Your brain is so small, you could multiply it by a million, shove it up an ant's ass & it would still bounce around like a BB in a boxcar."

 

[kilted_brews]

You are so stupid, you could fall into a barrel of t*ts and still manage to come out sucking your thumb!

 

[GySgtLynn]

Shut your mouth before I **** it

 

[GrogNerd]

Shut your mouth before I **** it

are/were you a DI, Gunny? sounds like something a DI would say & I heard R. Lee Ermey's voice when I read it


& this squid thanks you for your service

 

[GilSwillBasementBrews]

You must always be in the bottom during sex cause the only thing you know how to do is F@$k up.

Go eat a bag of d!@ks.

By the way you dropped your pocket.

 

[Evets]

There's just two kinds of people in this world, and you ain't one of em!

You uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits!

She so ugly, I could press her face in some dough and make gorilla cookies! - Fred G. Sanford

 

[GySgtLynn]

No never was a DI.. I just have a **** ton of insults that I picked up over the last 17 years

 

[Goofynewfie]

if that girl had as many sticking out of her as she had stuck in her she would look like a porcupine

 

[Brutus Brewer]

If that bitch had as many dicks sticking out of her that were stuck in her she'd look like a porcupine.

 

[alane1]

Brew you buddy!

Don't call me buddy...pal!!!

 

[Golddiggie]

Ultimate insult: "You [US] politician"