The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[the_bird]

I've heard the rumors that it's more like twenty seconds.

 

[Cape Brewing]

What do you expect? She has magic hands.


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[Melana]

pfft... yeah... I'M the shady one out of the three??? You don't hang out at the Bog enough young lady.

We only have limited experience with this sort of stuff and nothing direct (that I'll talk about). But... I'm sure that is simply a function of how small we are. Shti like that goes on all the time with bars, distributors, and certain breweries. I think as craft beer continues to grow and more and more breweries pop up, stuff like pay-to-play and especially the three-tier system are going to get put into the spot light more and more... which is a good thing for breweries and ultimately beer nerds.

As with most things... bigger is usually better.

And no, I do not hang at the Bog... too far to drive for me.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

So how much do you have to pony up to get them to pour your beer at The Bog Inn?

Is this why there was no Bog Water at MasstoberFest?

 

[Melana]

Is this why there was no Bog Water at MasstoberFest?

John and I purchased some to bring to Masstoberfest last year.

 

[paulthenurse]

Me... "You coming to Masstoberfest ?"

Cape... "Maybe, I'm all alone at the Bog that day, maybe after we close."

Me... "Everyone who comes brings samples of their beer."

Cape... "We charge $5/pint."

Me... "I don't think you understand. This is between friends."

Cape... "Oh. So that's the way it's going to be, eh? Ok, how much for a line?"

Me... "What?"

Cape... "Hey. I get it. Pay to play. $100? $200?"

Me... "No that's not what I meant."

Cape..."$500? You're really sticking it to me."

Me... "No. You don't understand."

Cape... "OK. A grand. I can't go any higher than that or FW will kill me."

Me... "Maybe you should just stay home."

Cape... "Alright. Alright. Two grand. And I'll wash your truck."

 

[the_bird]

^^^ That's exactly how I heard the conversation. Except replace "truck" with "balls."

 

[paulthenurse]

I left that part out. I didn't want to embarrass him.

 

[j1laskey]

Me... "You coming to Masstoberfest ?"

Cape... "Maybe, I'm all alone at the Bog that day, maybe after we close."

Me... "Everyone who comes brings samples of their beer."

Cape... "We charge $5/pint."

Me... "I don't think you understand. This is between friends."

Cape... "Oh. So that's the way it's going to be, eh? Ok, how much for a line?"

Me... "What?"

Cape... "Hey. I get it. Pay to play. $100? $200?"

Me... "No that's not what I meant."

Cape..."$500? You're really sticking it to me."

Me... "No. You don't understand."

Cape... "OK. A grand. I can't go any higher than that or FW will kill me."

Me... "Maybe you should just stay home."

Cape... "Alright. Alright. Two grand. And I'll wash your truck."

And this is why I keep lurking in this thread....hahahahahah


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[paulthenurse]

Come out of the closet and embrace being a Masshole. Worst case scenario... you don't have to smell Yeager's bad breath in an enclosed space any more.

 

[Cape Brewing]

(Eyeroll)


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[Melana]

Come out of the closet and embrace being a Masshole. Worst case scenario... you don't have to smell Yeager's bad breath in an enclosed space any more.

Come on... it's fun... everybody's doing it.
Except Yeager.

 

[paulthenurse]

He does it. He just does it by himself.

 

[yeager1977]

F u all

 

[paulthenurse]

Potty mouth

 

[Melana]

Potty mouth

Yeah. Don't want to offend the children.

Speaking of children.... When are we getting the girls together Chris?

 

[DakotaRules]

Yeah. Don't want to offend the children.

Speaking of children.... When are we getting the girls together Chris?

OMG!!! Planned breeding....

 

[paulthenurse]

Uhhhhhh. If you had spared yourself a moment to look up you would have seen the Spawn of Big John and Melana running around and having a blast with the Spawn of Yeager. Three girls. No breeding.

But that would have meant slowing down your insane attempt to condense a 6 hour brew day into an hour and forty five minutes so that you could go to the f'ing opera that night. You might have sweated a gallon less in the two seconds it would have taken you to look up. But you couldn't. You didn't. And in a weird way we admired what you did, There was actually a moment of insanity there when we talked about awarding you the Masstoberfest cup. I've never seen anyone brew like that before. It was, in a totally indescribable way, an impressive thing to watch.

Fortunately the_bird or Mort spoke up and pointed out that the reason you were sweating like a Puerto Rican trying to pass a check is so that you could leave a BBQ/beer fest, go put a tux on and head to the opera. After that you didn't get a single vote.

 

[nhwrecker]

That's not true. He got votes. They were just cast in the southern part of your yard, and got lost when it was time to count them.

Did you hear the one about the guy that had a great time at the opera?


Yeah. Me neither.

 

[Melana]

Well... I am secure knowing that you can't get the trophy twice.
Hope it didn't blow away in the storm last night.

 

[paulthenurse]

Who said you can't win twice? That is not in the rules. And even if it was, I'd just change that rule. I can do that, I got the power.

 

[DakotaRules]

If leaving early guarantees I don't take the trophy, I'll leave early every year!

 

[paulthenurse]

That wasn't nice

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Hmm, if leaving early guarantees you don't win, then not showing up must too. I'm living proof.

 

[Melana]

Hey! Brewing is not mandatory for attendance... AND - if you don't brew there's no cup to win!

 

[the_bird]

If leaving early guarantees I don't take the trophy, I'll leave early every year!

I can't read this quote without hearing it in the tone of a four year old girl, who's pouting because she was just told she can't have ice cream if she doesn't eat her vegetables.

Did you stomp you foot when you wrote it?

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Sounds like one of those school meetings where someone's determined to change the system. "Let's hand out a 'thanks for trying' trophy to everyone instead of a 1st Place winner."

Wasn't there also someone brewing until the wee hours of the morning? Like 6 hrs after the cup was handed out. I don't even think there was wort in the keggle.

 

[Melana]

I still am in complete shock that I actually won... I'm a GIRL and I won a trophy from a MAN's world... wow. Absolutely amazing.

 

[Cape Brewing]

1.092 is fine as an OG for a cider right??


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[paulthenurse]

I still am in complete shock that I actually won... I'm a GIRL and I won a trophy from a MAN's world... wow. Absolutely amazing.

You got down on your knees, took the drain tube in your mouth and blew till the sitch-ee-ation was sitch-ee-ated. A few minutes of that and the wort drained right out.

How could we have voted for anybody else after that?