The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Cape Brewing]

I don't get the joke.


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[Cape Brewing]

I think you were confused Paul... then again, that's not surprised given how hammered you were. I don't know where you were before you showed up at our place but those people should be arrested for serving you like that. And thanks for causing a scene when Matt refused to serve you. That was awesome. Place was packed with folks having a good time and all of a sudden it was like the old needle-being-pulled-off-the-record sound effect and the place was almost silent.

I think that was really the reason you "couldn't wait to get out of there"


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[ComcastWineRookie]

ouch

 

[paulthenurse]

Lets see, before that I had just towed my trailer to the mechanic to get the brakes fixed. Yup I was hammered driving around towing a 35 foot trailer behind me. That's what happened all right.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Oh... I thought we were just makin shti up now like your post... or at least grossly exaggerating.

Either way you're lucky that guy didn't knock you out after dumping half your beer on him.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

...

Either way you're lucky that guy didn't knock you out after dumping half your beer on him.

When you order a five ounce pour there is only so much beer to spill.

Eh, it was only 2.5 ounces...

 

[paulthenurse]

My post was more truth than exaggeration while your last two haven't a word of truth. I win.

 

[paulthenurse]

So to get this thread back on the track it was never on, I woke up this morning to go to work as usual. Sh!t, shower and shave and I'm dressed and ready to head out the door in fifteen minutes. Walk into the kitchen and it's 2:05 am. WTF!

 

[the_bird]

... and you're telling us this why? Is there more to this story?

"... and then when I looked into the backyard, my pizza oven had collapsed!"
"... and wouldn't you know, there were a half-dozen zombie strippers crawling out from under my shed!"
"... you won't believe this, but that little old lady from next door was at the doorway with a shotgun, demanding the $1,500 to fix her Toyota!"
"... and that new bathroom I build? I sat my ass on the can, and next thing you know I've crashed down all the way to the basement, covered in feces and shattered porcelain with my pants around my ankles!"

I mean, you wouldn't really waste the time to tell us you woke up and took a ****, would you?

 

[bob1852]

I mean, you wouldn't really waste the time to tell us you woke up and took a ****, would you?

You new here?

 

[paulthenurse]

Ya. I woke up at 2. Thought it was 5:30. Got up. Dropped a deuce. Washed my dingus. Put on my scrubs and was headed out the door before I realized I was 3 hours ahead of myself.

So ya. I wasted your time telling you that I dropped a log in the middle of the night then went back to bed.


But I didn't waste nearly as much of your time as you did writing your response to my little story.

So cram it up your arse, ya f'ing hillbilly! Maybe you'll drop a huge deuce tomorrow and feel a lot better about things.

 

[bluemoose]

Is this notcapebrewing's new handle?


Sent from the kingdom of beer.

 

[bluemoose]

Looks like the mods deleted the prior post.


Sent from the kingdom of beer.

 

[bob1852]

The late night spambots like this thread.

Can't imagine why...

 

[paulthenurse]

Being perfectly serious for a moment, what does that mean? I know I'm hopelessly out of date but I'm treading water as best I can. Teach an old man something. It's like helping an old lady across the street. You might get a merit badge.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Shhhhhhh. No one tell him.


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[the_bird]

Imagine this, but with robots instead of Vikings.

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE[/ame]

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

Shhhhhhh. No one tell him.


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I just wanted to wish you a belated Happy Birthday from saturday

 

[Cape Brewing]

I just wanted to wish you a belated Happy Birthday from saturday

THANK you... thank you very much. It's nice to know someone remembered.

 

[yeager1977]

Sad though that he is the only one that remembered. It's kind of disgusting

 

[paulthenurse]

That's f'ing beautiful. He Whom Everyone Hates is the only one who wished Cape a Happy Birthday. I'm feeling all warm and tingly. It's kind of cute seeing two refugees from The Land of Misfit Toys finding friendship.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I think you're just disappointed in yourself more than anything since you have cold, dead, black soul compared to Rookie's


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[bluemoose]

Don't we usually get 2 weeks of Cape "hinting" ( not so subtlety) that his birthday is coming?

Must have been too busy in the tap room this year.

Surprising too, isn't this one the big 5-0?


Sent from the kingdom of beer.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Haha... Very funny.

Just for that I'm not pulling out next time


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[paulthenurse]

Ouch.


Ok. I'll say something nice since we all forgot your birthday.



Uhhhh.....,


Uhhhhhhhhhhh......




Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


You shoes are always shined nice.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

Ouch.


Ok. I'll say something nice since we all forgot your birthday.



Uhhhh.....,


Uhhhhhhhhhhh......




Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


You shoes are always shined nice.

not all of us forgot his birthday

 

[j1laskey]

But only one of us mentioned it....and that speak more than words themselves

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

so I wanted to start this year off right. Go Habs Go. Bruins suck.

 

[Melana]

Beautiful day to wander about looking at rusty things.

 

[paulthenurse]

You in my backyard taking B1 away?