The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[paulthenurse]

Ice man cause he played like a farkin' zombie for the first 55 minutes. I'm sure that it was a fun game to go to but it was painful from the couch.

 

[paulthenurse]

Uhhhhhh Brian, I'm sorry if I shook your hand too hard and slapped you on the backtoo hard after our BBQ competition. I wasn't trying to hurt you and heap further humiliation on your beaten arse. I'm sorry.




(What a farkin' Nancy!)

 

[Cape Brewing]

Keep it up... You'lll get Bertha back, take a sniff and say, "What the fffff.... why the hell does this thing smell like somone took a dump in... AAAAARRRRGGG!!! I'M GONNA KILL HIM!!! He's cleaning this!!!"

 

[Cape Brewing]

Having absolute what-should-I-brew-next brain lock...


Got a pale on tap I'm not happy with. I left it on the yeast too long and I get a hair of bandaid. I don't think it's bad but it pisses me off every time I drink it because it was sheer laziness.

got the Imperial White Peach Wit on... go ahead Paul... make your funny little jokes but that is a nice beer. 7.5% wit with just a little peach in the background. It's a great summer beer. We entertain a lot and that's been a big seller lately.

I've got a Belgian IPA in primary... that's going in 2ndary tonight.

I brewed a basic Irish Red on Saturday.

I've got... maybe a 12-pack of my "IIIPA" left (actually bottled it since it will probably win a bunch of competitions).

I dunno... I may go Dunkel.

 

[paulthenurse]

Try another batch of your Boxer Dropper Bock, you keep RAVING about what a hit that was in the private back rooms at your "Men's Club."

 

[DakotaRules]

Try another batch of your Boxer Dropper Bock, you keep RAVING about what a hit that was in the private back rooms at your "Men's Club."

Lol!

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Bring back a classic. Nothing says "Holiday Spirit" more than AB.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Why? So you can bring some to "Teabag Tuesday" at your "club" when it's ready?

"now, now boys!! You know Uncle Pauly has to have his sexy juice before we begin!"

 

[Cape Brewing]

"Ooooooo. Uncle Pauly is feelin' SEXY!!! Where's my 'Earl Grey'?!?"

 

[motobrewer]

i just brewed a dunkel.

split 10g, 5g on 833 and 5g on 2206.

doing a doppelbock with the winning yeast, which i imagine to be 833

 

[Cape Brewing]

It's amazing how little we care

 

[Cape Brewing]

You should PM the guy Paul!!!

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f39/need-new-50-hobby-brewer-aarp-story-275010/

 

[motobrewer]

It's amazing how little we care

"we"?

are you sitting on paul's lap?

yeah you're probably sitting on paul's lap...

 

[Cape Brewing]

Go back and continue dazzling everyone with your brilliance in the Occupy thread... you're really knockin' outta the park over there.

 

[motobrewer]

nah, i could never follow up the "knowledge bomb" you just dropped!

lol! hilarious.

 

[Cape Brewing]

blah blah blah... I'm surprised you can even spell CDO

 

[paulthenurse]

Would this be a good time to make a call to the guys in Artillery and inform them "The position has been overrun, Charlie is INSIDE the wire!" and request they start bombing the living **** out of Yawkey Way? That old "We had to destroy the village in order to save it." mentality?

Cause I'm thinking those arsehole could all use a nice heaping plate of napalm, from John Henry down through the clubhouse boy who ran down to Popeye's every other Wednesday. Get rid of all the barstids, except Petey, Ellsbery and the rookie catcher whose name escapes me. Honestly don't know if I'll watch a single inning of the Series, I'm that disgusted with baseball.

 

[bluemoose]

Like sand through the hour glass.

 

[DakotaRules]

like sand through the hour glass.

+1

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Would this be a good time to make a call to the guys in Artillery and inform them "The position has been overrun, Charlie is INSIDE the wire!" and request they start bombing the living **** out of Yawkey Way? That old "We had to destroy the village in order to save it." mentality?

Cause I'm thinking those arsehole could all use a nice heaping plate of napalm, from John Henry down through the clubhouse boy who ran down to Popeye's every other Wednesday. Get rid of all the barstids, except Petey, Ellsbery and the rookie catcher whose name escapes me. Honestly don't know if I'll watch a single inning of the Series, I'm that disgusted with baseball.

PTN. How could you be so insensitive? Do you know Old Man Henry fell down the steps on his $28m yacht the day he canned Tito? I'm suprised he made the attempt on the day he gave his servants the day off from carrying him down the multi deck stairs from the Helipad. I guess his wife tweeted the day of the accident and he was fine to watch his other team in the derby.

I know you're into diving. Maybe you could drop by The Iroquois and discuss your plans. It's usually docked at Rowe's Wharf.

 

[paulthenurse]

Maybe I could carry a bit and brace along with me?

 

[paulthenurse]

The Great 2011 Cidar Experiment has begun. Picked up some cidar at the Worts soiree this past weekend and let my imagination run wild.

From the top left: 3 gallons with 2 pounds of Oregon tart cherries and US 04

Under that is 3 gallons with an ounce of dried woodruff and Windsor yeast.

Below that is 3 with extra tannic acid added and Nottingham.

Middle row top is two and a half gallons with 1.5 KG of honey and 1116 for yeast, topped up with apple juice.

Under that is three with US 05.

And lastly, on the far right is 3 gallons left alone to ferment with whatever yeast was floating around in the orchard.

We shall see.

PTN

 

[DakotaRules]

Looks pretty tastey!

 

[paulthenurse]

I'm pretty psyched about the batch with woodruff. There is a German wine called May Wine, a semisweet white wine with woodruff that I've always enjoyed. I'm hoping to make a cider version. And the cider/cherry mix ought to be outstanding.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Nice! I usually do a couple of batches of Ed Worts recipe but was thinking of expanding this year. There's a place where I get cider from an old town forest orchard that has old varieties and came out a lot different from the regular orchard i get my cider from. Two questions:
1) Did you add any dextrose or keep the abv low?
2) Where did you get your cherries from? Were they frozen/jar/raw? I may go with your cherry recipe.

 

[paulthenurse]

Just canned tart cherries from Shaws. I used three 14.5 oz cans, juice and all.

I did NOT add dextrose. I wasn't looking to make high octane appfelwein. (Not that there is anything wrong with Ed's recipe, I've made it before and will again but I was looking to do something more traditional.) My adding the honey to the one carboy was in order to go more along the mead road. Even then I only boosted the gravity to 1.078 but will get more of a honey nose/flavor profile.

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

Top Ten List of Questions to ask when they interview the new Red Sox Manager.



10. "How many secret herbs and spices in your old family recipe?"

9. "You're ok with a keg at 2nd base, right?"

8. "We're thinking of scrapping that Sweet Caroline crap and doing a few rounds of '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.' How's your voice? Could you take the mike and sing lead?"

7. "We going to rename the 'Seventh Inning Stretch' the 'Beer Frame' unless we come up with something better. What do you think?"

6. "Our new ball girls all work at the Foxy Lady, so no extra inning games on Thurdsay nights, OK? We don't want to mess with Legs and Eggs."

5. "Red Man Chew is out. Jello Shots are in. Feedback?"

4. "Do you know where we can get a few cases of Whizzinators?"

3. "Did you REALLY make it to 'Tenth Level Vulcan Warrior' and you own a magic sword and an invisibility cloak? Cool!"

2. "Do you wear the bowler hat, the embroidered shirt and the mutton chops ALL the time?"

And the number one question that Red Sox management want to ask their potential new managers, "If you only had one hop to use for the rest of your life what would it be?"

 

[Cape Brewing]

Your cider recipes look stupid

 

[DakotaRules]

Your cider recipes look stupid

I think someone just showed their jealousy.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Yeah, I'm super jealous of dropping Notty into apple juice.

AAAARRRRGGG!!!! When will Paul's genius ever cease!?!?!

HOLD the phone!!!! You're saying.... YOU'RE TELLING ME... Paul... put... CHERRIES in a cider?!?!

Pure... effin... genius.