The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[paulthenurse]

Not even close. Keep guessing.

 

[DakotaRules]

Not worth my time. I'll just pretend that he made fun of you.

 

[paulthenurse]

Ho Ho Ho

Hey Mrs Claus,
I've got a special delivery present for you, right here.

 

[the_bird]

There's a punchline to that story that I didn't deliver. I'll just leave it be, let poor Dakota wonder what all the fuss was about.

 

[paulthenurse]

He's going to be here all week, folks. Thanks for coming. The chef says the veal is incredible and don't forget, Tipping isn't a city in China.

 

[DakotaRules]

He's going to be here all week, folks. Thanks for coming. The chef says the veal is incredible and don't forget, Tipping isn't a city in China.

Actually it is a city and the saying goes "tipping isn't just a city in china"

 

[Cape Brewing]

don't confuse him with your facts... to Paul that's all jibber jabber.


(YES! I've been waiting to work in my Mr. T quote for a while now)

 

[Cape Brewing]

Civil engineer the town does a lot of work with has our letter all drafted recommending approval from the zoning board on use-of-building... parking spaces are approved and appropriate including a tasting room

Gotta hit the Fire Dept and then get formal approval from the zoning board.

Lease signed, HOPEFULLY, end of next week, right before the new year.

(doin' the cabbage patch)

 

[the_bird]

Sweet! Good thing I pulled some strings for you with my local representatives and got the law changed for you. I think you owe me a pint.

 

[Cape Brewing]

(knodding in a agreement)

Absolutely... where the doors open to the tasting room, you should absolutely head in for that pint. On me.

 

[paulthenurse]

You wanna borrow the Mega Tun or are you going to be doing five gallon batches?

 

[Cape Brewing]

LOL... you make me laugh... like a clown

 

[Cape Brewing]

You don't have about 60 1/6th kegs laying around do you?

 

[DakotaRules]

When you go to purchase all of these you will let us know right....

 

[Cape Brewing]

Dude.... Sankes. Whatta you gonna do with a 1/6th sanke?


And... By the way.. Anyone who thinks St Bernardus Xmas Ale is NOT the proper medicine for a nasty flu bug with a decent fever is a stupid *****nozzle.

I feel much better already!!! Will probably fall down in about nine seconds but I'll feel better doing it!!!

 

[bob1852]

It's "1/6 barrel" just hipster talk for 5 gallon cornies?

 

[the_bird]

Well, basically the same size, but Sanke kegs. Even though Cape is a wannabe-hipster.

 

[Cape Brewing]

No... It is hipster talk for five gallon sankes. We cant sell cornies to bars.

 

[bob1852]

Well, basically the same size, but Sanke kegs. Even though Cape is a wannabe-hipster.

The thought of Cape in hipster skinny jeans makes me want to puke...

No... It is hipster talk for five gallon sankes. We cant sell cornies to bars.

Interesting; even though soda distributors can?

 

[the_bird]

Huh huh. He rides a fixed-gear bicycle when he's not in his Hummer.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Yeah, bars dont want to have to start switching over their keg connections to ball locks. They cant be bothered at all.... Understandably so.


Fck. Half a beer and I feel very funny. Profuse sweating is normal right??

 

[Cape Brewing]

Huh huh. He rides a fixed-gear bicycle when he's not in his Hummer.

Hummer is gone dude...

And your jealousy is obvious.

 

[the_bird]

Fck. Half a beer and I feel very funny. Profuse sweating is normal right??

Yeah, for Paulie, but that's just because he's a sweaty kind of guy. If you die, can I have your turntables and Bukowski novels?

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey, you gonna follow the lead of a certain semi-pro football team from the frozen tundra and sell shares and 'certificates of ownership?'


Ought to be worth about the same as The Pack's.

 

[Cape Brewing]

And I thought Bird's jealousy was obvious!

 

[Cape Brewing]

I feel dizzy.

I bet a Sierra Nevada Torpedo will fix that

 

[paulthenurse]

I'm going to pretend to be you for a while. First I'm going to take all my money out of the bank, then I'm going to light it on fire, $100.00 at a time, till it's all gone. Then I'm going to take out a second mortgage so I have access to more money and then I'm going to burn that up, too, only $500.00 at a time. I will invite all my pals to come over and watch me burn up the money. (Since I'm pretending to be you 'all my pals' means the dog.)

But I will offer Jasper a beer to slurp out of his bowl while he warms himself by the fire. It's gonna be GREAT!

 

[Cape Brewing]

LOL!!!! Aaaahhhhhhh ahahahahahah!!!!!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ahhhhh. A nice DFH Hellhound... THAT'll knock this fever outta me!

 

[paulthenurse]

Muffin Top

 

[Cape Brewing]

Standing in front of the mirror again?

Dude... Give it up... You havent seen a size 64 inch waste pants in a long long time... Give em up!

 

[paulthenurse]

I've got a mirror from the carnival funhouse. It makes me look 6' tall with a 30" waist. Love that thing!

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Yo! Festivus airing of grievances doesn't start until tomorrow.

 

[paulthenurse]

It's tomorrow.


Cape... You suck

Dakota... You're a dweeb.

Yeager... You're ***** whipped.

bird... You suck too. (Not as much as your boy Cape, but some.). However you do have a VERY nice trophy out there in the boonies. Hey, how bout some pics of the Masstoberfest Cup decorated for Christmas?

AZ and Data... You two are Masshole wannabes. Losers.

Dude... Another wannabe. Loser.

Mutton Chops... You wear embroidered shirts and a bowler... Nuff said. Loser.

PTO, Smurf, Joos, etc... You guys don't pull your weight around here. Losers.

Last but not least, me... I suck. But I've got a nice smile and a great personality. I'd go on a date with me.

 

[the_bird]

The Masstoberfest Cup? I'm already planning to lose that in the move. Oops!

 

[paulthenurse]

You lying yo ass off.

 

[the_bird]

I'm just waiting for the price of zinc to go up before I bring it to the scrap yard.

 

[Cape Brewing]

If by "suck" you mean "exude pure white hot blinding awesomeness at all times" then you hit the nail on the head... Except for Bird... He sucks in the more traditional meaning if the word.

 

[the_bird]

Last but not least, me... I suck. But I've got a nice smile and a great personality. I'd go on a date with me.

That's because you're a slut. You'd go down on yourself in the Olive Garden parking lot.

 

[paulthenurse]

That's because you're a slut. You'd go down on yourself in the Olive Garden parking lot.

I'm neither that flexible nor that well hung. But it was nice of you to say.