The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Cape Brewing]

Standing in front of the mirror again?

Dude... Give it up... You havent seen a size 64 inch waste pants in a long long time... Give em up!

 

[paulthenurse]

I've got a mirror from the carnival funhouse. It makes me look 6' tall with a 30" waist. Love that thing!

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Yo! Festivus airing of grievances doesn't start until tomorrow.

 

[paulthenurse]

It's tomorrow.


Cape... You suck

Dakota... You're a dweeb.

Yeager... You're ***** whipped.

bird... You suck too. (Not as much as your boy Cape, but some.). However you do have a VERY nice trophy out there in the boonies. Hey, how bout some pics of the Masstoberfest Cup decorated for Christmas?

AZ and Data... You two are Masshole wannabes. Losers.

Dude... Another wannabe. Loser.

Mutton Chops... You wear embroidered shirts and a bowler... Nuff said. Loser.

PTO, Smurf, Joos, etc... You guys don't pull your weight around here. Losers.

Last but not least, me... I suck. But I've got a nice smile and a great personality. I'd go on a date with me.

 

[the_bird]

The Masstoberfest Cup? I'm already planning to lose that in the move. Oops!

 

[paulthenurse]

You lying yo ass off.

 

[the_bird]

I'm just waiting for the price of zinc to go up before I bring it to the scrap yard.

 

[Cape Brewing]

If by "suck" you mean "exude pure white hot blinding awesomeness at all times" then you hit the nail on the head... Except for Bird... He sucks in the more traditional meaning if the word.

 

[the_bird]

Last but not least, me... I suck. But I've got a nice smile and a great personality. I'd go on a date with me.

That's because you're a ****. You'd go down on yourself in the Olive Garden parking lot.

 

[paulthenurse]

That's because you're a ****. You'd go down on yourself in the Olive Garden parking lot.

I'm neither that flexible nor that well hung. But it was nice of you to say.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Where can I charter a cool sport fishing trip out of? Looking to do a tuna/shark trip over the summer.

 

[paulthenurse]

Gloucester. There is a guy right next to Fran's boat. I think he charges about 8 for a full day. You might do better out on Block Island or the South Fork, they're closer to the canyons.

 

[paulthenurse]

Edit.
Montauk/Block Island for shark

Stellwagen Bank for tuma

 

[DakotaRules]

That sounds like a great idea!

 

[DakotaRules]

We can throw cape back in the ocean.

 

[Cape Brewing]

pfft... nah-ah... we'll throw YOU back.

 

[paulthenurse]

There will be no throwing ANYONE in the f'ing ocean.


I go scuba diving to get away from you idiots, I don't want to swim around some rock and bump into your arse.



And FWIW, Dakota seems to be implying that we should all go along with Cape on his little fishing trip. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea. I can't get the fishing boat scene from "One Flew Over The Kookoo's Nest" out of my mind.


All I can picture is Yeager as the virginal Billy, finally ready to pop his cherry at 36...

I'm shuddering just thinking it.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Oh sht no... You guys arent going. I am going to take my dad as a xmas gift. Then I'll probably ask a few friends.

 

[DakotaRules]

I did not imply go fishing with Cape. I want to go on a deep sea fishing myself, none of you guys required. As cape said I would invite my friends so that throws you guys out!

Merry Christmas all!

 

[paulthenurse]

You're going to have to pay for a fullboat, even with just the three of you.

 

[the_bird]

Oh snap!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Its not a prob.. Dakota's mom always has cash on her

 

[DakotaRules]

Its not a prob.. Dakota's mom always has cash on her

Only problem you have is that she won't give any to you.

 

[DakotaRules]

She heard about your money burning stunt a few posts ago. She thought it could have been better spent on a new life.

 

[the_bird]

Its not a prob.. Dakota's mom always has cash on her

Like, tucked into a g-string?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Garter

 

[DakotaRules]

Capes problem, is that his g string is so tight, that if ladies were to try to tuck dollar bills, they would lose fingers.

 

[the_bird]

You think that Cape dances for ladies? You don't know him very well, do you?

 

[DakotaRules]

Married old ladies like my mom and dudes. I know him about that well.

 

[the_bird]

I know him about that well.

When the **** did you turn into Yoda?